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6 Signs You’re Ready for Change

Do you know what it feels like at the precipice of a huge sea change in your life? Ever been there? Are you there right now?

If so, then you know, it ain’t always pretty.
It’s vulnerable.
It’s open.
It’s scary.
It’s messy.

It’s so tempting to give up, throw in the towel, and pretend you give zero f*cks.
And so hard to believe in a reality that you have never inhabited, but continually long for.

But, rising up inside you is something huge, something massive, and something invisible to everyone else but you.

It’s your desire.
Which often shows up as pain, discomfort, annoyance, or heartache.
And it won’t leave.
Like a tiny fishbone in your throat that just won’t swallow.
Painful as hell and desperately impossible to ignore.

This is the moment right before “someday” becomes “today – right here, and right now.”

In the words of Anaïs Nin, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Now, the tricky bit is that it’s easy to ignore the signs that change is afoot, and that blooming is imminent. I don’t want you to ignore the signs that your time is now. Because this is the stuff that life is made of.

And so today, I want to give you some clues to look for – 6 signs you’re ready for change. 

The period right before fruition can look many different ways. And I hate to break it to you, but the common thread is discomfort of some kind.

Here are a few I notice a lot, particularly in the lives of women right before they make the leap into The Mastery Program.

1 – Everything around you is imploding. Did you know that forest fires are part of nature’s cycle? They are tragic, destructive, devastating. And yet, deeply necessary and regenerative at certain times in the life cycle. You find out that your best friend betrayed you with your boyfriend. You don’t get into any of the graduate programs you applied to. Not one. Your dad is in the hospital and they can’t figure out what’s wrong with him. And of course, they are starting massive layoffs at the job you hate but you don’t feel ready to lose. When it rains, it pours, darling.

2 – You feel more sure than ever that it (your desire) is never gonna happen. You have mounting evidence that you’re failing. And it seems like there’s actual proof that things are not going your way, and probably never will. Everyone who has ever climbed a mountain has very nearly turned back just before reaching the top. When you have just broken up with the ‘almost perfect guy or gal,’ there is no way to know that the perfect person for you is just around the next bend.

3 – You’ve hit your “choke point.”  You might feel choked about where you are in your marriage, choked about your parenting, choked about the job you can’t imagine going to for even one more unhappy day. You have come to the end of your ability to do anything other than vomit in your mouth about the circumstances of your life. And the worst part is that you’ve used all of your best tools to create the thing you have, which you thought was going to be something wonderful. Maybe you got your ass in debt to get a degree to work at the job you now hate. Maybe you married the right guy. And had the right babies. But it’s just not flying, and it’s making you choke from the fumes.

4 – You smell what you want, on someone else. There’s something in the face of another woman. You see someone who has sourced something that you want. You can just smell it and sense, “she knows shit I don’t know.” And it doesn’t even mean that what you have is wrong or bad – you can just sense that there is some potential that is yours to step into or unlock. You can feel that she is grooving to the beat of herself in a way that you still have your training wheels on. Your attention is captured. Sometimes this is not a great experience – it could show up as jealousy, or judgment. Other times, it’s just full throttle salivating excitement.

5 – You feel a deep, moving PULL towards something or someone new. You have that feeling that happens inside when you encounter something or someone new and you just know, deep deep down, that it is already yours. That you have a preverbal need to move towards it. Last week, there was a woman who called the School, randomly, and talked to Lauren and said, “I am not a crier. I am not easily moved to tears. And I just keep crying at every graduate video on your site. What is going on?” Do not ignore the wisdom of your emotional self, your intuitive self. Do not override her. She will not lead you astray.

6 – You decide, down to your toes, that it’s time. Simple as that, really. There are moments in life where you draw the line in the sand, and where you make a choice from the deepest core of who you are, to do things differently. This kind of decision can’t be forced, and it can’t be faked. When you hit it, you’ll know.

I should mention, there are also some signs that you’re definitely not ready for change for example: 

  • You hate the smell of change in another, and you’re scared of the flow you see in their lives. You’re scared of what flow might mean to your sense of yourself. You are in love with your stuckness and defending your turf. Like a 4-year-old who refuses to give up her blanky and passy. Even for an hour in the laundry.
  • You continually look for evidence of why things can never change for you, and you really enjoy sharing those thoughts with other people who agree with that perspective and viewpoint. You only want to hang out with people who hate change as much as you do.
  • You’re numb. You can’t feel anything. You cannot feel pleasure or pain. It’s just a lot of static on your channel and you are too exhausted to get up and dig around the couch for the remote. Especially because nothing really interests you anyway.

It’s good to know which camp you fall into. It’s also good to remember that all of this can change very quickly, in an instant.

I love intersecting with a woman’s storyline in this particular moment in time, when she is wobbling on the precipice of change.

In the comments below, I want to hear where you’re at right now:

  • Do you see yourself in any of the six signs above?
  • Do you sense that something big and deep is afoot, on its way to you? If so, what might it be?
  • Tell me what it feels like, and how you’re going to nurture yourself in this time.
  • If you’ve been there in the past, how did you navigate that sticky time, right before a big shift finally came?

Whether this is a time of change, or hibernation, or suffering, or magic – thank you for being here.

All my love,

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18 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Rebecca May 2, 2017, 9:06 pm

    This is SO good! I am past all of those stages and in the middle of my CHANGE. Change is scary. Change is HARD. Change is necessary! And when you press through, change is FREEDOM. Great post!

  • Denise April 20, 2017, 11:07 am

    I sense all of these…I’ve known for about a year that big changes were coming. And yes, I’ve been very uncomfortable and still am.
    But I know it’s there…whatever IT is. I have a clearer vision than I did almost 9 months ago but it’s still cloudy.
    I’ll get there, needed to see this today.
    Thank you!!

  • Madison S March 22, 2017, 4:51 pm

    Mama Gena,
    Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
    I found you and your book by some random chance. I studied your emails and took notes over a year ago, before I even really knew about your school. I’ve been on a healing journey, in search of discovering my complete radiant goddess for about three years now (since I discovered how hurt and suppressed she was/is). I am 100% committed to my goddess. Although, now, I’ve hit a road block. I’ve read a lot and I have implemented my routines and goddess-honoring habits; but I still sense some of myself is withheld on the daily. I still feel there’s something missing, or something, I don’t know. I’m a senior at California State University, Long Beach; and I work in the sustainability office at my school, too. With a schedule as busy as mine, and with my work being dictated by others, and a wallet as empty as mine is, how do I make time for creating something of my own? Where can I focus my attention that will serve me 100%? Do you have any advice for my journey of self discovery and expression?

    I wish I could fly to New York to visit the city I’ve always dreamed of, and to participate in your courses. You are so intuitive, and I respect you dearly. One day, I’ll have the honor of being your student at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts!

    Please, and thank you.

    Madison S

  • Jen March 21, 2017, 4:10 pm

    Perfect timing as I am reading this email later than it was sent!
    I have major desires and dreams and miss feeling free, light and airy. I tune in a lot and do feel good most of the time.

    Buuuuuuut, I I LOVE my children and husband but I’ve been feeling so drained around them lately :(. My stress level is out the window whenever I am with them and I want to cry because I just want them to share with me this happiness, lightness and pleasure I feel when I am in tuned in and radiant. Mama Gena’s message came at the right time as a reminder.

  • Elektra Dekker March 18, 2017, 9:13 am

    Synchronicity, baby! This article comes right on time! So to answer some questions: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and Yes! PS: Any Sister Goddesses in the Netherlands and Paris? 🙂

  • Donna May March 17, 2017, 9:45 am

    Thank you for your email mama Gina it was inspirational

  • Nancy March 15, 2017, 6:17 pm

    This morning I felt myself at the precipice of my health journey . I have gained 25 pounds in the last two years and kept promising myself I would address it, I haven’t . This morning I finally decided I’m tired of not feeling comfortable in my body and neglecting my body. I need to love myself more than that . So today I packed my healthy lunch water and I already feel better. I hope it sticks this time ! Arghh

  • A March 15, 2017, 6:08 am

    I can feel the rising, the urgency pulling at me for something new. I recently started a new job after being a stay at home mother for five years or so. All past jobs I’ve ended up in a leadership role. I love my new job. This time around I wasn’t promoted to a leadership role. Which is really wired feeling for me. This hasn’t ever happened. So I have mixed up feelings about it. Not to mention my marriage, well we are trying to rebuild it. Feels like so much has happened and I’ve grown so tired of it all.

  • Bea March 14, 2017, 6:40 pm

    I’m as codependent as people come. I had the chance to go to mastery for free in January, and I didn’t go. I feared ridicule and too many questions from my alcoholic boyfriend.

    However, I finally got so frustrated that I left him. Just 2 weeks after, he died. This past set of eclipses in February coincide with the recent events. I was terrified to strike out on my own, but my faith in God comforted me to commit to change. My sweet man was troubled, it’s not my fault and I know I did everything to help him. God took him home, a shocking loss and even though the grief hit me hard, I felt God heard my prayers and ended his suffering as well as my own as a codependent lover.

    I have been in a relationship since I was 13. Only single 4 months ever since. I’m in my early 40’s and still sexy. On the inside I’m a mess. I have to learn to listen to my heart and really love myself. This is an excruciating time dealing with loss, and realizing I self-destructed good relationships, offended people I love and wasted so much time!

    I need to understand my own healthy needs. My heart and mind have never required me to change so much in my life. I better get this right, or I’ll be doomed forever to repeat bad patterns and live a passionless life.

    I choose change.

    Bea 🐝

    • SG JANE March 14, 2017, 7:29 pm

      These shares are SO POWERFUL, my sisters!!! Thank you for showing up for yourSELVES in all your glory.
      I am READY for this- and all the signs are there.
      I SHOULD be grateful for all I have-independence, good health, resources to do what I want, friends who say they love me.
      But- instead, I am obsessed with thoughts/feelings/regrets resulting from a man who brutally and carelessly betrayed me, after cultivating belief in me for a whole year that we WOULD be together as a loving couple. Giving me crumbs.
      After that happened, the election devastated me, leaving me toggling between fury/anger/action and total hopelessness and despondency.
      And just a month ago, my father died unexpectedly and I am grieving the loss of one of the most important people in my life. Gone forever. ..and ashamed that the cad who betrayed me has complicated my grief, because of course I want to be comforted by him.
      I yearn for the female loving energy that I’ve had the good fortune to access during my life, but not regularly. I am hopeful that this experience will re-boot my determination to live my richest, wettest, glistening, pumped up clit of a life!!! Love to you , my Sister Goddesses- we persist in all our emotive elegance.

  • Rona March 14, 2017, 5:20 pm

    I posted this today in the Mastery FB group.

    One of the things I do every day (or almost every day) is write Morning Pages, something suggested by Julia Cameron her book “The Artists Way.” Three pages/sides in a notebook. I write about everything and nothing. I work out plot problems for my books, relationship challenges and successes with my husband, and of course over the last several weeks I’ve been writing about my desires.

    I’m actually pretty good at listing and thinking of my desires. It’s something I do professionally – both for characters in my books and when I speak publicly. Helping women to learn and live their hearts’ desires is my passion. So there I was one morning making a list of these desires. The more material ones (spa days, national and international travel, a strong credit score, huge book sales…) and the more emotional ones (to be as loving and compassionate to myself as I am to my sons, to keep the commitments I make to myself…). It is a good list with lots of things that are important to me.

    As I was looking at the list wondering if there was anything I missed, a voice in my head said, “That’s nice.”

    And that’s when I knew what was missing.

    It is a very nice list – but I don’t *feel* it. I want those things, sure, but I am too afraid – and too programmed – to want deeply and to truly feel and believe those things can all be mine. I can’t feel the desire. Not completely.

    I grew up in a home less dysfunctional than many and with a great deal of love and support shown and offered. However, when it came to truly feeling and expressing emotions other than a form of happiness… that was a mine field of yelling. “Stop that”. “What’s your problem” “Why are you crying.” “Stop being so sensitive” Feeling wasn’t safe, and feeling deeply was worse. I bottled things up, learned not to feel and became funny and strong (and occasionally very very bitchy) in the face of things that were threatening.

    As an adult I’ve learned, much to my surprise, that I feel things VERY deeply and because that scares me and makes me uncomfortable, when the situation arises I pull back and “turtle up” as I think of it (go into my nice hard safe shell).

    So here I am looking at this list, wanting to believe it, wanting to FEEL what it would be like to have all those things really happen – and I realized I can’t.


    Which is why I now know that my first and top desire for my Mastery Course is:
    I desire FULL access to the breadth and depth of my emotions. I want to be deeply connected to my passions, feeling them freely and completely – including any and all fear, grief and anger that comes along with that.

    Yup, I want to completely feel and enjoy my supercharged Pussy.

    I am coming to understand that one of the things that makes it hard for me to keep my commitments to myself, to believe in myself, and make the choices that I know support myself (instead of the self-sabotage that usually happens) is my (current) inability to truly truly feel. I’m 50 years old. I am strong enough to accept and enjoy and revel in all of my feelings. I have loving, supportive relationships in my life and my husband wants this for me as much as I want it for myself. The situation I grew up in is not the one I’ve created in my current life so I know that the time is right to have this.

    And I have a feeling (ha!) that once this first part happens, the other desires on the list will be a little – if not a lot – easier to attract.

  • Jojo March 14, 2017, 2:26 pm

    Great article but what about the women who are too overwhelmed to “pick up the remote” and change the channel? I was gonna send this to my sister who really wants change, but is also overwhelmed and putting obstacles in her path – the last part of this article sounds like it’s abandoning the women who ARE stuck but still want change at their core. What about them? What do you suggest we do at those moments of hopelessness or how do we support others through theirs?

  • SG Kathleen March 14, 2017, 1:04 pm

    This rings SO true for me! Those six signs are exactly where I was just a few short years ago. Who knew what big changes were coming my way! Mastery (and Boot Camp before that) – basically the entire SWA community and program and Mama Gena – have transformed my life! I actually have almost everything I desired back when I was so miserable at at the breaking point.
    Forever grateful!

  • Sophia March 14, 2017, 12:52 pm

    Wow! How appropriate this is. It seems as if the more I go for my purpose the harder I get leveled. It feels like I’ve hit the bottom and keep hitting. $8 in my wallet, no job or income or credit or family. I’veliterally had to “sleep” (too afraid and too cold) outside. I’m exhausted and have a cold from that. Last week my friend talked to me for three hours as I was crying and calmly plotting suicide. I’m talking to angel investors and trying to hang on to my knowing. And I KNOW I’m supposed to be there on Saturday yet it feels impossible. Even though I’ve created many miracles it feels as if I’m farther away than ever.

  • Jennie March 14, 2017, 12:36 pm

    I see myself in both camps. In one way everything in my life is falling apart. People say I look awful. I signed up for Mastery….for MAJOR change, and I wanted to do it. I think. But now it’s coming. And I feel like I did it all wrong. I don’t have a home. I feel uncomfortable in my body, the space I am renting, the way I spend my day. I have a broken relationship with my father, and while I am unable to share that I am going to Mastery with him, or my brother, I feel like I am going for them. I feel like at the end of it all I will get to show up, looking good, and they will say, “WOW, You look amazing, and you are doing amazing, and your life is so together and you are independent!” And I don’t want to get on the plane. It’s expensive. I was told that I shouldn’t have booked an airbnb, that I should cancel and book a hotel, and I feel like every time I try to make a step in the RIGHT direction, I get it wrong. I can’t feel anything. I am numb. I am terrified of what my life would look like without the habits, without the self-harming behaviours, if I looked in the mirror and I liked what I see, rather than hating it, feeling ugly, telling myself I am unattractive. I mean, what happens when I give up all the work and the momentum and the habits I built in the direction that led me here? What’s left? Nothing. Zilch. All the things I want to be feel so far out of reach. Teaching yoga, teaching people, getting a job, finding a place to live where I feel comfortable, safe, that is my own. Making decisions in my own life, because so far every decision I seem to make for me I am told is wrong. I don’t know anymore. I feel lost. And I feel tired. So exhausted. I want to be strong. I want to build a life I am proud of …. and I don’t know where to start.

  • Emily Shaules March 14, 2017, 12:26 pm

    This message literally came at the most perfect time, thank you so much for the reminder!

  • Big Sister Goddess Erin March 14, 2017, 12:01 pm

    YES! How I love leaning in to the stretch of veil of change… I notice the relief of surrender to the contracted resistance and can breath a full breath. I use the Anais Nin quote on my luminous website for the same reason… growth!! So vital, so compelling! Lean in!
    xoxo Big Sister Goddess Erin

  • Kimberly March 14, 2017, 11:25 am

    Thank you for this blog about undergoing change. I thought I’d share what’s happening in my life now and maybe you’d have some insights for me? For about 5 years now I’ve prayed and prayed to return to Geneva (where I previously studied abroad and worked) and nothing- I mean NOTHING- manifested. Recently out of nowhere I got an email from a guy in Geneva working on an interesting project on trauma treatment. We Skyped and this week he’s going to try to negotiate a contract for me at the UN! However, all I am doing is doubting and worrying about money (it may be an unpaid internship??), housing, flight etc and even doubting that this will go through. Interestingly, I will also find out about a Grad school program I applied to in Geneva within the next week. If this job worked out, I could be there until grad school starts in the fall (if I am accepted). It’s honestly the most ideal scenario and probably an answer to a 5 year prayer yet here I am doubting and wondering is this right for me? Did I force this? Am I meant to do something else?
    My question is why am I having these thoughts? Why can’t I just surrender to what’s before me and see what happens? Why do I not trust myself and my decisions? How can I work on that??
    Thank you soooo much for any words of wisdom!
    Kimberly from NY