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The 8-part solution to stress

This past week has been a little monster, a bitch and a bear.
Are you having one of those, too?
We just launched two courses here at the Pussy Palace—the brand new Creation Course, and the internationally reaching Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp. And when I start a new course, I like to plunge right in with my brand new students. I had hours and hours of private elite coaching with my Creation Course, so I could meet them all and get my fingers on the pulse of each woman’s most deeply help desires. And then we had two Live Q&A calls, and then the launch sessions this weekend. In fact, Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp launched the same day as Creation!
Oh, and did I mention it was back-to-school week at my house?
My daughter is entering 9th grade, and guess what? Our luggage—which had all her clothes in it, from three weeks at the beach—did not come home from Cape Cod with us. It went as far as Boston. What this meant? The necessity for shopping for three cute shirts, plus shoes, the night before school started.
Oh, did I mention the PTA meeting?
Are you with me?

Mama Gena taking a pleasure break

I know this stress bomb happens in its own special perfect storm kind of way in each of our lives.
Stress is pandemic, epidemic, all over town.
And stress is a no-kidding killer.
Every 34 seconds a woman dies of a heart attack in this country. Sister Goddess Rosie O’Donnell survived one, just last month. And when your sweet little body starts to pump stress hormones, your blood flow is restricted, your nitric oxide levels plummet, and you become a candidate for a whole bunch of woman-centric ailments and serious health risks, including many chronic degenerative diseases such as diabetes, cancer, heart disease, eating disorders, and arthritis—which lead to depression, irritation, sadness, loneliness, anger. And this is when we medicate with anti-depressants, caffeine, alcohol, or junk food.
Big sigh.
I am getting stressed just writing about stress.

Why all this stress, anyway?
Stress is a consequence of self-doubt and disagreement with “what is.”
As women, we have placed ourselves in direct line with a vast array of responsibilities and challenges, which is pretty exciting. But sometimes we let those responsibilities and challenges take over every aspect of our lives. We pull the plug on pleasure, in an effort to do more and work harder.
Which is what turns the adventure of living into a stress factory.
When a woman is overwhelmed, she works harder, and criticizes herself, thinking she is to blame. Attacking ourselves and our circumstances will never solve the problem of stress. It actually creates more of it.
Stress is actually your power, heading your way, faster than you thought possible.
But your power can never be accessed through self-criticism, blame, or working harder. The antidote lives in a completely different direction.

Let’s talk solution. Because there is one.
In fact there are eight solutions.
Because there are eight Womanly Arts.
(I hope you are feeling better already.)
When you take a Womanly Art and apply it to stress, the stress melts into opportunity. Pleasure takes the place of self-criticism. You become a living poem, a shooting star, an eternal flame (say my name, say my name).
Let me show you how it’s done.

If I were climbing Mount Everest, I would have to pack a really thoughtful backpack, right? Just to survive.
Same thing when I am climbing the Everest of my life.
So, what to do?
I choose my Arts.
I decide to practice 3 of them: Having Fun No Matter What, Owning Your Beauty, and the Womanly Art of Sensual Pleasure.

What does this look like?
Well, each night, I choose some really fun outfit to wear the next day. Something that makes me feel hotttt! I plan a mani-pedi. And I work out a little every day—even if it is only sit-ups and push-ups between appointments, or a quick bike ride to the East River. (OYB*) I plan menus, and shop on Sunday, so the kid and I have great healthy food all week. I make a music list so I can blast tunes I love in little intervals during my work day. When my spin teacher invites me to a cocktail party I say yes and run over for one clean fast hour with my friend Abbey and her date, even though I am exhausted (see photo). I know that fun is refreshing. I splurge and order an iced café latte each morning, followed by a Kris Carr-inspired green juice chaser. (HFNMW**) I self-pleasure every day. No matter what. And I do my favorite S-Factor warm up each morning to get my hips moving and put some mo in my jo. (WAOSP***)

See, when I am busy rocking my Womanly Arts, I raise my whole orbit.
I pull myself up, by my thong straps, out of the stress and into a whole new paradigm, where I am no longer a sock being tossed around in someone else’s dryer, but rather, I am a poem, a shooting star, a flame. I am using the energy of what is coming at me, to vault myself to new heights, by the use of the Womanly Arts.
And sister.
I want that for you.
You never, ever, ever have to be upended by stress again. In fact, you can use the energy of what is coming at you, to toss you higher inside the orbit of being a woman. A living prayer. A Sister Goddess.

In the comments below, tell me: how often do you feel stressed? And how do you handle it? What Sister Goddess moves do you whip out when you have a particularly challenging week ahead of you?

And if you have a really stressed out girlfriend, please share this post.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. The Worldwide Sister Goddess Weekend is brewing…mark your calendar for November 9-11th and stay tuned for more details in the coming weeks.

*OYB = Owning Your Beauty
**HFNMW = Having Fun No Matter What
***WAOSP = Womanly Art of Sensual Pleasure


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41 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • SG Fine Katie September 13, 2012, 11:19 am

    I am a stress puppy all the time! Favorite frames:
    “Stress is a consequence of self-doubt and disagreement with “what is.” Oh so true! and
    “I am no longer a sock being tossed around in someone else’s dryer”
    Yeah! Thank you MG!

    • SG Fine Katie September 13, 2012, 11:24 am

      I brag I’m going to Boomerang this blog so it pops up in my in-box every week and reminds me to de-stress!

  • Emily September 12, 2012, 1:16 am

    This is just what I needed! I’ve been exhausted, beaten down, and feeling worn out….then I remember that I am a goddess, I can create anything I put my mind to, and I promised myself I’d take time every day to study the womanly arts…and here you are just when I need you!!!!thank you Mama….I’m in for the next boot camp!

  • Megan September 11, 2012, 10:08 pm

    Love this! One tool I’d like to reclaim and start using again is the Having Fun No Matter What. I’m a new mom- my son is 12 weeks old. I’ve noticed that we as new moms tend to mostly focus on how difficult having a newborn is. How tired we are, how we can’t care for ourselves right now, that all we do is change diapers, etc. While that is true– I AM exhausted, and spend most of my day changing diapers, I just realized that we ONLY talk about how hard it is. But I’d like to also focus on what is going well with motherhood and my son! And appreciating myself and my body for what it has done over the past 9 months! I need that. Instead of always talking about how stressful it is, I’d like to commit to the tool of Having Fun No Matter What- of loving this time with my awesome baby boy. Watching him smile and giggle for the first time and all that stuff. It is just too easy to get sucked into the exhaustion.

    • regena September 14, 2012, 3:56 pm

      congratulations on your baby- and your insight!!

  • Jen R September 11, 2012, 9:27 pm

    I sooo needed this today as my husband, son, and I just got back from a vacation with my parents! I haven’t been focusing on Having Fun No Matter What and Owning My Beauty as much as I’d like.
    I have been so busy trying to avoid stress because I thought it helped me to not feel stressed, until I read this!
    I haven’t been eating the way I should ….as if my body is a temple….with whole, organic, yummy food. I haven’t done Zumba or Yoga, or meditated. I’ve been overwhelmed and cranky and letting others bring me down. You just reminded me that it is discipline to pleasure myself, and I need to get back to it :).

  • Cristina September 11, 2012, 8:48 pm

    Oh yeah!!! perfect timing as always with this topic! As you know, this is one of my biggest challenges in life but I gotta say Regena, I have been ROCKING the use of the tools to raise my orbit during some very stressful times lately. What have I been doing? Well… 3 vacations in 3 weeks, my always-busy starting a brand new program at work, preparing and delivering TWO talks that I was invited to give at a national conference (yesterday), while planning a last-minute pleasure-based just-for-me trip to Sedona and the Grand Canyon squeezed in before the conference. Yes, BEFORE. so, instead of my usual stressing and obsessing about preparing my talks and thinking I couldn’t do anything but prepare for them, I was self pleasuring in a parking lot next to Bell Rock in Sedona, then watching the sun set and rise over the grand canyon which has been a desire for the last year (can you say ECSTASY?!?!), SC ing when I had cell service, doing gratitudes, yoga, long delicious showers and self pleasuring every day, and “treating” myself to only healthy, sit-down breakfasts and dinners. No fast food. No grab something for convenience. Nothing but goodness for THIS body. I’ve been so happy it has been easy to flirt with everyone that has crossed my path. The happiness is coming from within – not only from the pleasurable interludes in my day. It’s pretty constant. Oh did I mention I’ve also been injecting myself with hormones that make my body feel really weird in preparation to freeze my eggs during this whole trip? yup, 5am, every day! with pleasure and curiosity and self- love as my boobs have swelled, my emotions gone a little haywire at times, all with delight and ACCEPTANCE and HAVING FUN NO MATTER WHAT!! so needless to say I rocked both speeches, enjoyed some great conjures during my trip, and oh yes, didn’t even get thrown off course when my man decided to act less than godly on the night before my talks (OK, well maybe a tiny bit, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed by getting into agreement with the situation and putting my pleasure and well-being back in #1 position). Tonight, I’m back home one hour and my boss has already called me on the phone to tell me about a crisis at work, but I’m good, I’m GREAT! Putting pleasure, self-acceptance, and fun first really does make all the difference! Thanks for these wonderful tools and the opportunity to brag how amazingly I’m rocking them! Now back to work : )

  • Michaela September 11, 2012, 7:00 pm

    Having Fun No Matter What!!! And uprising/SG activism. When I jump astride my glorious mare headed for unbridled joy, I automatically want to love up another SG.

  • Siren Katie September 11, 2012, 3:46 pm

    I LOVE this post, and is perfect timing for me as always. Taking the time to get dressed in a hot outfit first thing in the morning always works wonders (OYB), but above all my favourite is HFNMW – getting my GQ* giggle quota in at work. It changes how I am feeling internally, and completely changes how others react to me as well – it is so much easier to navigate my work day in this way. By far my favorite art. Thank you xx

    • Shalini November 17, 2012, 3:31 pm

      Smoakes Posted on I haven’t read the book but I think I’m Team Gale because Peeta remnids me of pita which makes me think of hummus and I hate hummus, while Gale makes me think ofDorothy Gale Oz and I love Oz.But I just remembered that my childhood best friend’s sister is named Gail and I hate her, so maybe I’m Team Peeta after all.I’ll read the book ASAP, I swear.

  • T. L. Cooper September 11, 2012, 2:22 pm

    When I feel stressed I usually find the source comes from allowing outside expectations and perceptions too much influence in my daily activities. Sometimes, that is unavoidable. Stress develops from how we view the events that crop up in our lives. I try to look at events beyond my sphere of influence as messages to pay attention to whatever part of my life they affect both directly and indirectly. When I meditate about what the event means, I often find the reason my attention was diverted or discover a slight course correction I hadn’t considered before.
    To keep myself open to accepting life as it comes and not allowing unnecessary stress to hinder my life, I eat healthy, I do yoga daily, I meditate on gratitude, I meditate on the decisions I need to make, I allow myself a simple indulgence that makes me smile, and I do my best to surround myself with people who are upbeat, hopeful, and realistic!

  • SG Grace September 11, 2012, 1:39 pm

    Really loved this post! Both cause I’m realizing that I’ve already been doing a lot of pleasure-inducing things to nourish myself, but wasn’t looking at them that way and cause I’m just learning that, yes, fun is energizing. Last week I took myself to my ballroom dance class Friday night instead of sitting home, doing the ol’ “I’m too tired!!” routine. And yep, it pushed the reset button and I found new energy and actually slept better.

    I really liked this sentence in particular:

    Stress is actually your power, heading your way, faster than you thought possible.

    This is my life lately! I feel a surge of power that wants to be expressed in pleasure-filled ways. So much fun!

    Thanks, Mama Gena! I’m a new VPBC SG and already feel quite a boost. I’m starting all this while starting up a new semester of teaching and growing a baby business. But focussing on having fun with it all, which is helping lots.

  • Liz September 11, 2012, 1:28 pm

    I needed this post just about right now! I have been feeling stress and anxiety over a lot of decisions I have to make (including possibly breaking it off with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years) and also eustress (postive stress of exciting changes going on in my life). I have had a lot of health issues and many of them relate to how I have handled stress. When I feel stress approaching, for some reason I just think oh if I work harder etc. it will go away. No, it gets worse. I have been taking a class where we are learning about the principles of mindfulness so I have been practicing deep breathing. That really helps! It helps scientifically with the biology of what goes on in your body and calms you down in a natural way.

    I also shared your post with my readers:


  • SG Boxing Babe September 11, 2012, 1:21 pm

    Mama Gena — This was a wonderful post at just the right time, thank you 🙂
    I realized after reading your book & your blog this month (I’m a newbie SG) that even when I was “seeking pleasure,” I was often seeking what others consider pleasure, or what I thought was acceptable/appropriate/attractive to men/etc. Rookie mistake.

    This month, I dug deep and asked myself what I REALLY wanted, no matter what others thought of it…and I had a revelation 🙂 I moved to London several weeks ago, and kept passing by this gym that specializes in mixed martial arts. Each time I went by, something in my heart tugged but I said, “what man would find a female fighter attractive? what kind of woman puts on boxing gloves & gets bruised up? shouldn’t I be doing yoga?” and subdued it. Last week, after saying enough is enough, I marched right in, signed up, and bought the cutest pair of pink gloves you’ve ever seen. I owned my beauty (you can box and be hot! in fact they go together), decided to have fun no matter what, and ya know…there are some hot men coaching those classes (squeezed flirting in too). Now my stress levels are down, my womanly arts are up, my body is feeling great & I radiate happiness from the minute I throw the first punch. These methods really do work and THANK YOU for unleashing their powers in me! xoxo

    • mama gena September 11, 2012, 1:50 pm

      nothing hotter than a rookie in boxing gloves!!!

    • Tito November 17, 2012, 4:12 am

      Ariana Posted on I can’t believe how many peploe root for Peeta. I mean, sure, he’s kind, sweet, caring, selfless and all that other stuff but personally, I don’t think Collins has done enough justice with Gale. He’s HARDLY in both books and I feel as if she’s leaving us with the guy Katniss doesn’t want to be with on purpose as opposed to the guy she wants (but who is hardly ever around). Although, in the end, even though it’d piss me off A LOT she’d probably be on her own. But think about it, she’s still a teenager. How can she decide on this stuff when she’s a teenager?

  • Karen September 11, 2012, 10:49 am

    Yes stress! l
    Launching my own class this friday.
    .Will anyone show up?, what if it’s a full house ? Do I have enough supplies……….I decided that if No one came, I’ll be all glam’d out, with lots of yummy food, drink and music ,I’ll just dance in a room booked, for my own pleasure 🙂 If we’re booked solid think of the trouble we can cause in that provencial lil library room 😉

  • Suzi Banks Baum September 11, 2012, 10:07 am

    (OYB) week here in McFarland Wisconsin with my sister as I witness her becoming a mother to her newly adopted daughter. We are using (OYB) daily by drinking warm lemon water early, making green smoothies for each other (that the new girly loves) and eating fresh food for our meals.
    (WAOSP) has come a little slower to my sister, who lived through tons of stress as she did all she did to complete her adoption process and leave the Congo last week…so I have modeled and introduced her to a candlelit bath time for herself, door closed…no interruptions. I noticed how the scented bath salt lingered on our skin- each of us reminded by the perfume of those moments in the tub that were so luxuriously pleasurable.
    (HFNMW) means dance breaks, walks outside, naming what is going on and offering gratitude, going to the farmer’s market….just mining the day for pockets of time where we can stand in the sun, pet her sweet dogs, hang laundry in the lovely end of summer air….and laugh. What a release and a relief this is.
    I love this post Mama. The Arts and Tools are in my daypack for today, thanks to you. I can’t wait to hear what my Sisters are packing in to theirs for this splendid day of remembering and celebrating the indominable human spirit.
    With all my love and appreciation for you (OYB) (HFNMW) (WAOSP),

    • mama gena September 11, 2012, 10:59 am

      i am so adoring how you are all adoring the abbreviations!

  • Janelle Evans September 11, 2012, 9:54 am

    I had a packed-full day last Friday, and was running late on top of it all. When I hit an obstacle at FedEx, I was kind of a bitch to the man working there! It felt good to step back, take a breather, recalibrate, and then get my flirt on with the very same man. With the Womanly Arts, disaster averted! It made my whole day so much better. 🙂

  • Melinda Cohan September 11, 2012, 9:44 am

    Oh Thank You Regena!!!! I just finished a project call with my lead programmer and we have some HOT projects on the front lines of our business. While it is HOT and good for our business it means deadlines, long to-do lists and TONS to get done in short amounts of time! I just got off skype and was seconds away from plummeting into stress and yikes…was about to start working harder to get it all done. Thank Goddess for this post just in the nick of time. After reading your post i put my hands on the counter and did some deliciously hot hip circles (WAOSP) and put on my PitBull station so now I’m dancing while i’m typing this post (HFNMW).

    THANK YOU!!!! Now i believe i’ll start on those projects!


  • Krista September 11, 2012, 9:43 am

    This is PERFECT! Thanks Mama!

  • Lilia September 11, 2012, 9:42 am

    Dear Mama,
    I love how some of the things you do to make yourself feel hot are splurging on lattes and getting mani/pedis. But I want to remind women that they don’t have to be able to afford these things to get in touch with their pleasures, desires, or womanhood! Inside women is that innate spark of beauty that was around far before latte machines or nail polish were invented. Let the abundance of other women encourage you, and remember that you are just as ancient in your power as the others. No need to feel worse off by comparison! Any woman can find beauty and something to love in her surroundings, or decide to go off in pursuit of it.
    With love, Lily

    • Deborah Smith September 12, 2012, 3:42 am

      Love this. Thank you, Lily.

  • Kelly September 11, 2012, 9:10 am

    Wow, have I been stressed lately, so much so that the other day I told my husband that nothing seems fun anymore. That’s not like me at all. Obviously I’ve lost myself and need to find that energetic, creative, sexy woman I used to be. I will do something creative today even if it doesn’t feel fun at first. In addition, I will do something else to nurture myself today. I’m off to do some brainstorming about myself! Thanks Mama Gena!

  • Line September 11, 2012, 8:54 am

    xoxo’s to The Pleasure Palace <3 Sounds like a hot pink week Mama Gena!
    I finally took some days out of my calender, and went to Sweden with my Brother and Father, up in our summerhouse, where we have been harvesting apple trees, climbing trees, juicing apples, eating wild salmon and sleeping until the sun goes up…
    That was my first vacation in half a year!
    That's how stressed I've been without really knowing I think, anyway, I LOVE SC'ING, I mean that's my one tool I carry oh so well, I can not go without Spring Cleaning, we just did it right this minute, a London SG and I, where I caught my self saying, my new job is awesome, there's no stress! I thought 'that fashion-is-the-most-important-in-the-world kind of stress' was part of life… but no no no. Not anymore. I'm guessing it will come again, but actually I feel like stress is also motivating me, I tend to do more Green juices etc, more yoga, even more Spring cleanings when those crazy hormones are going on.
    My next one must be getting some OYB squeezed in all over the house, recovering, restoring goddess hugs from Copenhagen!

    • Cristina September 11, 2012, 8:49 pm

      Hi Line!! So great to see you here! Miss you! xoxo

  • Wildcherry September 11, 2012, 8:40 am

    WHAHARRR… this is “just my ticket” as I ride/ slide/ glide and try not to hide whilst hitting my stride. I LOVE IT!
    fave : the OYB, HFNMW, TWAOSP… I’m so into abbrev.’s.
    Seriously beautiful Mama Gena.. You hit this fe-nail on the P-head.

  • Ophi September 11, 2012, 7:40 am

    About to have one of those marathon days myself: radio this morning, 2 readings, a meeting w/ publisher, and family stuff to do in between. AND it’s September 11. So glad I read this first. I’m remembering to make my day into a pleasure-filled adventure. I will try Having Fun No Matter What today. Thank you!!!

    • Luscious Lola September 11, 2012, 8:36 am

      I thank you for mentioning September 11. I was there. Taking some moments to close my eyes, place my hands over my heart today, and be grateful for life and pleasure as well as acknowledge sisters and brothers that aren’t with us anymore.

  • Theresa September 11, 2012, 7:38 am

    I want to know what the hip moving routine each morning is as I have some serious hip/joint restrictions that I won’t give into .
    Loved the post….

  • SG Delicious Diva Denis September 11, 2012, 7:34 am

    Mama Gena, how exciting. I’ve just started the Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp. Your blog seems to have much more punch now that I’ve listen to your book. This week we are diving into Whetting Your Apetite. I’m loving how my huge. brick walls have so quickly come tumbling down. The flood gates are open. And I know I’ve just begun my journey.
    Your blogs are there for ALL women to read and be inspired. Keep them coming. We need these 8 Womanly Arts to Dance through our lives with ease and to swap stress for Pleasure.

    • mama gena September 11, 2012, 10:56 am

      it was FANTASTIC to hear you on the call last night, denis! thanks for your question. i am so glad you are in vpbc.

  • Tara Dixon September 11, 2012, 7:14 am

    This arrived at the perfect time. Can you say: “Amnesia?” After all our work together it is still so appreciated to get a refresher like this! Thanks for mapping out specific examples of these three arts in action. I love the idea of stress melting away into opportunity with a properly stocked (and utilized!) backpack for this “Everest climb of life.”
    Off to live a prayer inside this orbit of being a woman!
    with love and gratitude-

    • Teia September 11, 2012, 10:29 am

      Right on time!

  • SG lali/ Alia September 11, 2012, 6:52 am

    Ooooh mama this is one hot post!!!! I just moved to chile have been one stressed out bear of a bitch!!! Can’t wait to hear what some of our gorgeous pleasures sisters have to say!!!!!

    • Luscious Lola September 11, 2012, 8:30 am

      Hola SG Lali!
      I am feeling a little stressed about an upcoming move to Chile! I would love to meet up with you there! We could practice OYP and HFNMW together! Xxx’s and Oooo’s to MG for a wonderful post that kicks my butt back into a sensual pleasure orbit (SPO). Yeah!

      • mama gena September 11, 2012, 10:55 am

        two hot chiles are better than one!!!