The Art of Flirtation

Welcome to the fourth installment of our 8-week summer series, The Womanly Arts Unplugged, in honor of our upcoming course, Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp! This week, Laurie, a Mastery and Boot Camp Grad from Michigan, joins us to teach about the Womanly Art of Flirtation!

Laurie, Age 65 – Retired Nonprofit Director

rockstar_cropThe Art of Flirtation is so simple and yet I really tried my best to make it hard. Mama Gena defines flirtation as “enjoying yourself in the presence of others.” That should not be hard to do, right? The problem was, I didn’t understand what true flirtation meant.

I thought flirtation meant that I was looking for a sexual relationship and that flirting was a way to attract men. I pictured old movies where a woman bats her eyelashes and fawns over a guy, telling him all the things she thinks he wants to hear, leading towards some kind of sexual outcome. I never had much time for people who only told others what they thought that person wanted to hear. It felt so fake. I had no interest in flirting and never ever thought I could be good at it, even if I wanted to!

As a gay woman I was even more skeptical of flirting — I was not interested in attracting and flirting with men, and was convinced this was not the Art for me. I thought flirting was all about the other person and making them feel good with no regard for how I felt.

After all that I learned from Mama Gena, the School of Womanly Arts and my Sister Goddess community, I now understand that true flirtation is all about enjoying myself, and uplifting someone else as a wonderful by-product of my flirt.

One thing I love about flirtation is that it just removes so many barriers that we create between ourselves and others. It’s like walking into a room and turning on your light, and letting everyone else bask in the glow. It is plugging into my power source, and attracting everyone in that room who cares to participate in my happiness to join in.

I believe that happiness and flirtation go together. It’s hard not to flirt when you are happy! When I’m happy with myself, and comfortable within myself, I reach out more to people, I uplift them, I do anything I can to bring them into their own power and joy…while taking myself deeper into my own power and joy as well.

There is no room for negativity if one is practicing the Art of Flirtation. Practicing flirtation has removed criticism and fault finding from my life. It has relieved my depression, given me great happiness and allowed so much space for me to attract happier people into my life. Flirting is a win-win situation. No one loses!

Honestly, out of all the things I’ve learned at the school, Flirtation has changed my life the most. This tool has enabled me to stop trying to control the outcome of a situation, and just stay right in the moment and be positive about it. It’s like walking through life with my hands open instead of my fists clenched. It relaxes my body and releases tension. I know that I can find my joy, bring others higher alongside me, and get out of any tough situation by using flirtation.

Every woman has her own style, or brand, of flirtation. How would you describe yours?

rockstar_in_new_yorkI’d say my style of flirtation is humour and empathy.

I always try to lighten up a situation by making someone laugh (and making myself laugh)!

I try to have an awareness about people, sensing when they need to be flirted with. I take so much pleasure in giving someone a compliment and making them smile.

I work with our scholarship program at the YMCA  for low income families, and I remember one woman in particular. She was having a really hard time asking for help, speaking in a very low voice so no one would hear her. She had just lost her job, and things were so rough for her. I smiled and said, “Ok, let’s go sit over here and have a little chat.” That’s flirtation — it’s me paying special attention to her. By the end, we were both laughing. We had formed a mutual admiration society, that just took away all the barriers.

Flirting, for me, is about finding all the rights, and not all the wrongs. Really, there is plenty to find wrong in this world. I flirt with love, I flirt with what’s right…I flirt with babies and I flirt with grumpy people. I flirt with men (I am really good at this) and I flirt with women (I am even better at this)!

The Art of Flirtation is such a joyous, happy tool, and I realized that flirting with anything and anybody is what I am all about. It is the essence of me. It makes me have tears in my eyes talking about it because I so much want everyone to practice this art on a daily basis. Flirting is a life force — my life force.

What are the obstacles to flirting, in your own experience or what you’ve observed from others?

1. Self doubt
2. Fear of doing it wrong
3. Overthinking the outcome

Before I tried the Art of Flirtation for the first time, I was convinced I wouldn’t be good at it, that I’d do it wrong, and most certainly be rejected. Why would I even start, from that place?

For me, it was generating just enough confidence to take a risk. I decided I really wanted to change, and if I was going to really practice the Womanly Arts, I had to get out of my own way, stop overthinking it, and just do it.

So I finally did, with a grocery clerk. I knew that I wasn’t going to hurt anyone because I didn’t even know this person. So I made a decision to flirt in a safe situation.

And lo and behold the world did not end!

I couldn’t stop smiling when I walked out of the store. I was thinking, “This really works!” The first time is the scariest. But then you experience success and it encourages you to try more, building the confidence to the ramp up the game and have fun with it.

In the beginning, I was also really stuck on this idea that a successful flirt meant seducing someone in a romantic or sexual way. Not true! A successful flirt ends with taking myself and the other person higher. Simple as that.

How did you come to the School of Womanly Arts?

rockstar_and_joniBefore I participated in Boot Camp for the first time in 2012, I had just retired and relocated and was extremely unhappy with myself and ultimately with my entire life. I felt like my insides and my outsides did not match and that I had nothing in my life to look forward to. I had no purpose, no partner, no close friends nor did I think that I really ever would. I was very mixed up about how I would live the rest of my life and if I could ever be truly happy. I was tired and grumpy all of the time!

Boot Camp was truly one of the best investments I have ever made in myself. I am returning for the 3rd time this year, and I’m so excited! I always learn something new each time, and can’t get enough of being immersed in the Sister Goddess community. Every course I have taken at SWA has changed me in so many ways; Mama Gena always keeps me on my toes, teaching me how to use the tools in a deeper way.

Don’t get me wrong — I wasn’t always such a proud and confident Sister Goddess. Quite the opposite. I was an extremely resistant woman to this type of change — I thought I just needed to go to therapy and lose weight, and then I would find love and everything I desired. I had no idea and no real hope that joining in this program would produce all the changes it has.

In fact, I tried to quit the program many times. The only reason I signed up was because it was virtual, so that meant I didn’t have to see anyone face to face. (You should see me now, standing on my chair at Mastery, every chance I get!) I finally signed up for Boot Camp because a dear friend and coach said to me, “This is going to change your life. I know you, and I know this is going to be a good thing. Just do it.” I had gotten to the point where I had to trust what she said because what I was doing wasn’t working.

After I did Boot Camp, I went to a live event in Miami. I remember walking to the Convention Center and back to the hotel three times before I finally went in there. That’s what it took to get me in the door. I was just so scared, thinking, “I can’t do this. My hair will be wrong. I’ll be too big. I’ll be too old. No one will like me. I won’t fit in. There’s nothing here for me.”

I threw out every excuse, every road block I could possibly think of to put in my own way, until eventually I looked at the back of my truck and it was empty, with no more roadblocks to throw. : ) And I was home.

What I’ve experienced since has been life-changing in every way. And what I now know is that The School of Womanly Arts is about love. It’s not about who you love, or how you love. It’s about allowing yourself to love and be loved.

I’m so grateful none of those roadblocks stuck around.

Tell us some true stories in the daily life of a flirt!

I flirt on a daily basis as many times as I can because I love to see how people react. I love to upride people, to make their day.

rockstar_and_beauThe cranky grocery clerk:

I distinctly remember the very first time I deliberately practiced the art of flirtation. I was checking out at a grocery store; the clerk was so frazzled and cranky, throwing groceries around. I could tell something was wrong. I said to her, with so much pleasure, “Thanks so much for the great job of packing my groceries and by the way, I love your earrings!” She stopped dead in her tracks, and I thought she would burst into tears (in a good way) from the kindness. The whole interaction changed the situation for the better, and that was the beginning of my adventures in the Art of Flirtation!

Turning a bad day into a good one:

When people have bad days, it’s contagious. And when people have flirtatious days, that’s also contagious. I remember one day I came to my part-time job, and I was in a bad mood. I was really tired. So anything anyone said was not going to be the right thing, because I was already so exhausted. I could see the day was NOT going in a positive direction, so I turned around, walked out the door, and came back in again to start my day over. I couldn’t bear being around myself in such a bad mood and I’m sure no one else could either. From the moment I walked through the door (for a second time), I flirted with everyone, which took me and them higher.

Changing the staff meeting for the better!

Practicing the Art of Flirtation, especially in a boring or negative situation, is such a fun challenge. I love asking myself “let’s see if I can change the power in the room.”  In a recent staff meeting everyone had something to complain about. Instead of buying into all of that negative energy, and making things even more negative, I flirted like a true Sister Goddess. I responded with a flirt every chance I got, saying things like, “You know, what you just said was so brilliant” and “What a great idea.” And I really meant it (a good flirt has to be authentic)! The energy in the room totally shifted.

Flirting through a conflict with family:

Especially with family, things can get a little dicey sometimes, and my habit was always to revert directly to anger. Recently, I found myself in a conversation with my sister that was going nowhere good — she started to get angry, and so did I. No one was going to be a winner in that situation! I stopped and said, “You know, I can remember so many good times that you and I have had together.” She stopped and said, “What??!” and that started the whole flirtation — I could turn the conflict around and de-escalate the tension, by helping us stop and talk about all the things that are really right about being sisters, instead of all the things that are wrong.

Going from social anxiety to the life of the party:

Here’s one example. I was way far out of my comfort zone going to a function at the yacht club recently. I was in slippery territory, feeling like I didn’t want to go, that these people all had more money than me, or were smarter than me, better than me, and on and on. It was a huge event and I  was so nervous about going. All of a sudden, I remembered that I know and practice the Art of Flirtation. So I walked into the party and flirted with that whole crowd. I had so much fun. When I could focus on my flirt, enjoying myself in the presence of these people, I made such great connections and had a blast. The Art of Flirtation took me out of the self-doubting mind chatter and into the pleasure of the experience. I used to pretend I was comfortable and trying to fit into social situations. Now, I actually am comfortable.

rockstar_crop_kiss_galleryFlirting in romance:

Being able to flirt has also helped to accept and receive the flirtation of others, which is huge. Now, I can believe someone when they flirt with me by paying me a compliment or asking me out. I can receive that flirtation and believe it. And I can take it in with no expected outcome, except for the pure joy of flirting. I have had some pretty magical experiences that I NEVER would have believed were possible before SWA.

Flirting with yourself:

Oh, I definitely flirt with myself! That’s what turned my life all around. It’s really just making myself right, and enjoying being with me. As I began to love myself more, it allowed me to accept the fact that other people felt that way about me, too.

I have fun with it. Like walking by a store window, and thinking “you are one hot mama.” Winking at myself in the mirror and blowing kisses at myself — I am at my best when flirting with myself.

When things are going badly, I just look at myself and say, “Ok, you are the bomb, you are just the best. Period.” I flirt shamelessly with myself. It is so hard to feel bad about yourself when you’re flirting. Sometimes I pick a part of myself that I’m not comfortable with. Then I really challenge that — I look in the mirror and make an extra effort to appreciate that part of myself, and find the good.

I just turned a red-hot 65 years of age on the 5th of July, and am looking forward to flirting for another 30-plus years!!

Now, I’d love to hear from you in the comments! Do you flirt? How? Do you have fears, doubts, or hesitations around flirting? Success stories in the Art of Flirtation? I’d love to hear from you. (Oh — and are you coming to Boot Camp with me? I hope so!)

– Sister Goddess Laurie (aka “Rockstar”)

In case you missed it, check out Part 1,  Part 2, and Part 3 of The Womanly Arts Unplugged. And stay tuned for Part 5 next week. (Make sure to subscribe to our newsletter for updates!)

This summer series is our way of pre-partying for Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp, which is currently open for enrollment! Boot Camp is a distance-learning program that takes a woman deep inside each of the Womanly Arts. It includes live teleclasses with Mama Gena, carefully crafted weekly exercises, and a thriving online community. Click here for all the details!

  • 94 Comments · Leave One

{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }

kathleen July 29, 2014 at 9:24 am

thanks for sharing i also like to mke a difference when ever i can namasti kathleen+-

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:25 am

It really is so much fun to flirt and you definitely have that talent!!

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Jeyan July 29, 2014 at 9:26 am

Rockstar!!!
You’re incredible!!! The photo of you is gorgeous!!
Thank you for writing this story as I haven’t been flirting and now will get back on the boat
Jeyan

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:26 am

You are a flirt and I have experienced your flirtation light full on in the Mastery room! Hop back on that boat with both oars in the water and flirt your little heart out!!

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Morgine Jurdan July 29, 2014 at 9:41 am

THANKS SO MUCH for this OUTSTANDING blog post!! Transformed my life today!! I took Bootcamp on line too, and I did not quite understand flirting until YOU just described it here! I do this A LOT! I live rurally and go to town about once a week. I flirt with lots of people. I almost always find people to compliment. I read name tags in stores and address people by their names. I wear a FREE HUGS button and happily give out free hugs to anyone who asks!

Two were quite memorable! One was an older woman, I would guess in her late 70′s or early 80′s coming out of my health food store. She asked if she could have a hug and I said sure and gave her a long hug. She thanked me profusely saying everyone needs more than one hug every day! Another was in a Goodwill store where a man asked for one. I gave him a really long hug, because he just sort of melted into my arms. When we were finished his eyes were wet and he was on the verge of tears. His wife divorced him several years before and he had not had a single hug since then. He told me I made his, day, his week..his year!!

So THANKS again! I have to practice Flirting with myself, and I am sure I can become an expert at that too!! I am SO HAPPY to know I am FLIRTING!! People often tell me I light up a room, and yet like you, in many instances I have been hesitant to walk into certain events and rooms. I never thought I would fit in at a live Mama Gena event either. Perhaps we will meet someday in the future! THANKS again for this Amazing Post! I am saving it for future INSPIRATION!! Magnificent, Marvelous, Magical, Morgasmic Sister Goddess Morgine

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:30 am

Dear SG Morgine of the many M’s

You have inspired me – a good hug is such a wonderful gift to give to someone. I would love to spend time with you in Miami and walk with you to any and all events. Boot camp rocks and uplifts me and hones my skills each time I take it.

I will stand fiercely next to you in any new steps you are hesitant to take. Send me an email if you would like to spring clean because I like to do that too!!

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Mirella Love July 29, 2014 at 9:44 am

Dear Sister Goddess Laurie,

You are delightful! I love how you flirt with your self. I can flirt with myself but I am so afraid to flirt with others, even I have done it and successfully, I am still afraid and still taking baby steps. My mind keeps being afraid of sexual implications.
I flirted with my husband this morning though, it was a good one… a sexy one…
I have read the book and doing exercises, forming a little SG community here at the yoga center in Spain with SG Jessi and SG Gemma. We ARE coming to Miami. Thinking about Booooooot camp.

Thanks for sharing.

Sister Goddess Mirella Love

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:34 am

Dear SG Mirella Love

Thanks for your compliments in your reply – I will say that baby steps are better than no steps when it comes to flirting and almost about anything in life. Please take boot camp – it will enhance your Miami experience and will give you more pleasure and promise than almost any other gift you can give to yourself.

If you have any hesitation or questions about any or all of mama gena’s work I would be more than happy to talk to you – just let me know and I will be there in a heart beat. Nothing has changed my life more than the sister goddess community.

XO Rockstar

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Chantal July 31, 2014 at 5:38 pm

Yep!! I agree with SG Goddess Rock star TAKE BOOTH CAMP!!

and flirt with a whole world of SG.

and BRAVO for your SG activism in Spain.

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Christine July 29, 2014 at 9:44 am

Oh how I adore you Laurie!! Thank you for this beautiful post. I love the idea of flirting with myself – it sounds like exactly what I need to start turning things around for me. xo

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:35 am

With you all the way!!! Flirting with yourself is so much fun and I love to do it every day.

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Kathleen July 29, 2014 at 9:47 am

WOW, what a fantastic post. You know, the one Womanly Art I probably have the MOST trouble with is flirting. . . this has helped me so much. SO much.

You are amazing! – thank you Sister Goddess Laurie!!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:36 am

Glad to help – it took me a while to have the courage to flirt but now I love it and would be happy to spring clean on it with you any time!!

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Allyson July 29, 2014 at 10:01 am

YES! Flirtation is so pleasurable. I flirt with my son, my cat, dogs on the street, flowers, trees, anything breathing! It really, truly works. I have made diamonds out of coal with my flirtations. <3

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:37 am

Yes you are a diamond my love – and a great flirt. I have been in the light of your flirt and LOVE it!!

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Anna July 29, 2014 at 10:03 am

This is so sweet! I guess what she is doing is not what I’d call “flirting” but being kind, giving back and loving people. Flirting has a gross connotation to me and I guess it did to her too but I LOVE her brand of “flirting”!!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:39 am

What if being kind to people ultimately is flirting? I have decided that the definition of flirting that I choose to use is a great way to live my life!! Flirt your little heart out in whatever way feels comfortable to you.

Sending you flirting love!!

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satya July 29, 2014 at 10:08 am

Rockstar, you go girl! love these photos of you! i feel your flirtatiousness with the camera! xx satya

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:43 am

Dear SG Satya

Looking forward to putting a hat on my beautiful head to look even more flirty!

XXOO

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Mim July 29, 2014 at 10:08 am

Rockstar, this is such a fabulous article!! You have transformed so amazingly since I met you in Mastery 2013. You were always beautiful, but now you really glow. And I LOVE that photo of you with the kiss on your cheek! It’s like Hollywood glam. I hope you have it framed.

My favorite frame (besides everything) is, “true flirtation is all about enjoying myself, and uplifting someone else as a wonderful by-product of my flirt.” It’s so simple and clear. What could be more natural?

Thank you for your beautiful, honest and generous story.
Love,
Mim

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:42 am

SG Mim

You have been there with me for the whole ride and I appreciate always your flirtation with me!!

You are one of my role models and I thank you for that!!

XXOO

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SG Anne la Tigresse July 29, 2014 at 10:34 am

Love you, SG Rockstar! What an inspiration — I lapped up every word of your flirtation manifesto. I’ve been spring cleaning on flirting of late and needed to read this — your clarity, vision and spirit bring out the true meaning of this essential practice. Thank you so much. xox SG Anne la Tigresse

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:47 am

Well bragged my dear SG Anne la Tigresse

You are already flirting – you just did in your reply to me!! Love it.

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SG Genna July 29, 2014 at 10:37 am

Rockstar!!! What a freaking awesome summation of the brilliant flirt you are! Your joy and light warms me up and takes me higher like a magic potion. It simply works every time. No exceptions. Thank you for sharing and for being so damn hot and sassy. This was the perfect morning read to kick off my birthday! XO

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 10:41 am

You sexy little thing you!!! Happy Birthday beauty and I am happy to share this magic potion that we all have access to – it does work and my sassy sexy self is happy to share my thoughts on flirting with you!!

XXOO

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Pam July 29, 2014 at 10:44 am

SG Rockstar – what an inspiration you are!!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Dear SG Pam

I am only an inspiration because I am surrounded by inspirations like you and all other Sister Goddesses!!

XXOO

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SG Susan July 29, 2014 at 10:53 am

SG Rockstar!!
New idea..to flirt with myself! :)
Thank you. I too, feel that flirting is related to men and sexual, thank you for writing this post and showing me otherwise. You’re amazing!!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:17 pm

SG Susan

You are so welcome – I struggled for a long time with the concept you mentioned and am so happy to have come to the other side of that idea.

Whoo Hoo for us!!

XXOO

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Jean Tennille July 29, 2014 at 11:08 am

Darling Rockstar,

I love love love your photo transformation. Your first photo made me giggle, and your last, with the lipstick mark, left me in awe. What a glamour puss you are!

And thank you for the reminder to flirt. I’ve been less generous with my juice lately.

xoxo,
SG Jean Genie,
Court. Afternoon Delight

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:15 pm

SG Afternoon Delight (love that)

Two years ago having someone call me a glamour puss would have never been something I believed – now I say thank you, it’s true!!

XXOO

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Madeline July 29, 2014 at 11:33 am

OHHH!!! What a great post! Thank you sooo much for sharing this@ I have been in a minor slump since retiring and movingAm exhausted. I USED to be a flirt, a Goddess, and and enthusiast in general.Something got my mojo and I am now determined to get it back!

I think I’ll start with a little flirtation!!!!! And,thinking of OTHERS first often works.. making that contact with someone who needs a smile or a positive compliment..always lifts ME up!

Thanks again fro this lovely story!!!!!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:13 pm

Sg Madeline

get that MOJO on and go for it – you can do this and all of your Sister Goddesses have got your back!!!

XXOO

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Sister SpiritGoddess Marrey July 29, 2014 at 11:46 am

Hey, Rockstar!
I remember you that first weekend in Miami as well as your “first time around” during the Bootcamp calls. Goddess, you have transformed!

It is such fun to see you living and flirting full out. You are an inspiration!

Thanks for the reminder that our joy and that of others is just a flirt away!

Sister SpiritGoddess Marrey

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Ah my lovely SG Marrey

How well I remember your kindness in the “early days” You pulled me through some tough times just by your gentleness and love.

Sending you love

XXOO

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Holly July 29, 2014 at 11:54 am

Thank you SO MUCH, Sister Goddess Laurie!! Your blog meant so much to me!! I just discovered SWA this summer and I was struggling with the idea of flirting. Now I get it!! I can do this!! I had in my mind it was oriented around trying to make some sexual contact and you really made it all clear. I see you as a role model for me, too!! I’m 53 and I wasn’t seeing too many sister goddesses that were of my age group. I also prefer not to wear make up and thought maybe I didn’t fit in that way, too. I’m SO THANKFUL for YOU and that you shared this blog!!!

Very grateful and can’t wait to try it!
Holly

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:11 pm

SG Holly

Yes you can do this and if you need to spring clean on this topic I would love to hold space for you anytime.

You fit in perfectly – just perfectly the way you are

XXOO

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S.G. Tisha July 29, 2014 at 11:58 am

SG Rockstar…You have done it again!!!!
You have seduced me into the Joyful world of Flirt!!!
Your whole post is one big giant flirt, inviting us all into the vortex of pleasurable living~ I am sucked in, beckoned by your magnetic life force!!!
Thank YOU for who you BE, your willingness, kindness and FLIRT is a gift of magnitude, taking us ALL higher!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Sg Tisha

The role you play in my flirting is a huge part of the success I feel – your love and your teaching to and for me – yep – take some credit baby cause no one does this by themselves – believe me I have tried.

XXOO

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Erica July 29, 2014 at 12:05 pm

Sister Goddess Rockstar,

Wow, this post is so delicious. I love the idea of flirting with myself. What really got to me what the realization that flirting doesn’t have to be sexual. The acts of complimenting someone or making a person laugh as forms of flirtation make the concept less daunting for me. I really appreciate you de-mystifying the art of flirting for me.

xoxo
Erica

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:08 pm

You got it girl now go get it – SG Erica I can sense that your flirting game is ramping up to be huge.

Xo

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Sister Goddess Samantha July 29, 2014 at 12:20 pm

Tears to my eyes! You are one sexy inspirational SG, Laurie!

Fave quote?
“{The Art of Flirtation is} Like walking through life with my hands open instead of my fists clenched”

just beautiful– hugs from London xoxo

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:07 pm

SG Samantha

Thanks for the london hugs!! Learning to be open to receiving is what prompted that thought of unclenching my fists and opening my hands – so much the better to receive and give flirts!!

XO

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Simone and Ariel July 29, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Laurie!

We adore this post! As “Flirtation Experts” we can not get enough of hearing how flirting has upgraded lives, both for the flirter and the receiver. Beautiful wisdom from a beautiful woman.
Check out our book Smitten: The Way of the Brilliant Flirt smittenbook.com

Please message us with your address and we’ll send you a copy! (smitten book@gmail) Would be our honor.

P.S. LOVE your first photo. Looks like you’re about to burst out laughing–in the best way!

xoxo Simone and Ariel

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:05 pm

yes – the first photo was just before breaking out into laughter. I will certainly send you an email and hope to read and learn even more about this most wonderous tool.

XO

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Susan July 29, 2014 at 1:12 pm

What a LOVE FEST!! Reading SG Rockstar’s post and all of your comments brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat! I am so moved by the gloriousness of it all! Bringing ourselves and others HIGHER is the ultimate healing for our world. Abundant blessings to all of you!!! And big hugs to Rockstar and our dearest Mama Gena!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:03 pm

And the biggests of hugs and flirts right back to you. I love the word glorious and am so glad that you used it in your comments.

Peace and love and joy to you my dear sister goddess

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Holly July 29, 2014 at 1:13 pm

Oh Rockstar!!! Swoon swoon swoon! I loved all of this do much I almost licked my computer screen just to get the last little morsels after I was done reading. I adore you fiercely and can’t wait to continue flirting with you till the end of time itself. Yay for self-love, yay for flirting, yay for you!!!!

Huge kiss!!

Sister goddess GTP

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:02 pm

SG GTP

Yea for you because you have always given me courage and love while I learned this most valuable tool of flirting.

XXOO

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Joanne July 29, 2014 at 1:35 pm

You really inspire me, Rockstar!
You are gorgeous, you make me so happy just reading about all that you have accomplished. You inspired me to up flirts and get happy!

Thanks so much!

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 1:56 pm

Up flirts – whoo hoo Send some success stories because you are rocking this tool.

XO

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T. L. Cooper July 29, 2014 at 1:49 pm

Every time I read these posts on flirting, I’m amazed… I never thought of any of that as flirting… That’s just treating people well, being friendly, being nice… I grew up believing that’s just the way you treat people. You give them a reason to smile. You give yourself a reason to smile. Compliments and noticing the little things are just a part of life. I guess that makes me a natural born flirt, so to speak. The only downside to being a good flirt is that sometimes your innocent comment is interpreted as naughty, but that’s a downside I can totally live with and even appreciate and enjoy.

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Sg Rockstar July 29, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Naughty is sometimes a good thing too!! You are right. Flirting is probably just bbeing nice but it also is authentic. I am nice to people because that was what I was taught to do -” like if you can’t say anything nice about someone don’t say anything at all?’ remember that? Flirting is authentic and from the heart and soul – for me that is the difference that deep deep meaning beyond just being nice.

I am so glad to have this thought posted by you because I struggled for a while as well about what ecactly the difference is.

You sound like a natural born flirt!! You go girl – the world needs more flirting.
XO

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Gina July 29, 2014 at 4:35 pm

I LOVE Mama Gena’s definition of flirting. I have been doing it and not even realizing it, now I know what I am doing and it is all good! I am loving the positive energy it creates.
However I have one question. When I was married my husband was a BIG flirt with woman in front of me and behind my back. I was OK with that for a while cause I know it made the women feel good and I love women to feel good. But after a while I started resenting it, probably after he cheated on me and probably because he didn’t flirt with me. I guess my question is it OK for a married man to flirt with other woman and on the flip side is it OK for married woman to flirt with guys, in front of or behind the spouses back?? We are now separated. I think I know the answer but I am curious how others see it.

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Nathan July 29, 2014 at 5:13 pm

Hi Gina. I hope its ok I answer as a guy (and husband). My wife follows Mama Gena’s and showed me today’s blog post and I randomly happened to see your comment …

I think many things are possible in the context of a relationship when there is transparency and agreement and trust. It sounds like your husband lost on all of those accounts (and I’m sorry to hear that).

I’m always asking – is what I’m saying, is what I’m doing creating more relatedness, more intimacy, more connection? Its very possible that me flirting with someone is doing that…. it depends on the context, who the person is, where we are, etc. Its possible sometimes it is exactly whats not needed.

Whats interesting in pondering that is not only “is this creating more connection” with the person in front of me, but also with my wife? Would she be thrilled if she were here watching? I’m often “feeling into” what my wife would think about what I’m doing or saying, and if I feel like she’d have questions / have issues / be concerned – I will stop what I’m doing.

I include her experience into the experience I’m having, even when she’s not there. So effectively I’m never flirting behind her back, as she’s always included.

What I’ve learned, in a practical sense, is that I have ALOT of latitude when my wife feels me connected to her, caring for her, and taking her into account. She loves how well i give attention to other women – and I ensure that she doesn’t lose out as a result, but that she actually benefits – from me being more social, from others around me having a better time, from people getting to know us as a couple through my winning personality : )

Loved your questions. Thanks for chance to share a bit from my experience

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Gina July 29, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Nathan, thanks so much for your perspective and you are an awesome husband with an obviously awesome personality ;-) (how was that for flirting :-) )

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nathan July 29, 2014 at 8:29 pm

so good! ; )

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Lisa July 29, 2014 at 7:47 pm

Rockstar!! I desire to flirt with you in Miami! You light up any room with love, desire and the appetite for more. We LOVE you and what a delight to witness your divine journey. xoxoxo

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Sg rockstar July 29, 2014 at 8:44 pm

With you Sg Lisa -keep your flirtation ticket open!

Xxoo

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carla July 29, 2014 at 7:59 pm

Thank you so much for this article Rockstar! It was very inspiring, and you’ve encouraged me to attempt this practice again. This is a hard one for me. When I was young teen, I was exceedingly good at flirting. It came completely naturally to me. All of my friends were envious of what an fabulous flirt I was. But then at 15, I flirted with a man at a party who proceeded to rape me in a fairly brutal way. That put the kybosh on my flirting career. It’s been hard for me to flirt ever since. I want to open to it but it feels dangerous to me. Still, I want to reclaim this part of myself. I want to have a love affair with the world! Any advice would be appreciated.

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Sg rockstar July 29, 2014 at 8:46 pm

If you want to spring clean on this let me know. The best advice is right inside of your you and we can spring clean right into it!

Xo

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Sindy July 29, 2014 at 9:15 pm

SG Laurie thank you so much for sharing your story and revealing your inner most you! You’re a true inspiration to me as I feel unhappy with myself a lot of days. I used to practice flirting daily in my younger years but I too have grown grumpy and self concious of my assumed imperfections. I will definitely try the self flirting act daily and try to get my self inspired to flirt with others. Again thank you for bearing your all and giving the rest of us courage and inspiration.

SG Sindy.

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:16 am

Sg Sindy

Flirting put the fun back into my grumpy life such as you described your life above. It really is an a amazing tool. Come back to flirting!

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Island Goddess Sara July 29, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Way to knock it out of the park, Rockstar! Wowwww! What a brilliant and inspiring post! You made me realize that I am actually flirting all the time. Whew! I thought I was so bad at it, but with your explanation, I finally get what I’m doing on a whole other level. Thanks for bringing such bright light to a very confusing (for most of us) topic! I can see how it truly is enjoying yourself in the presence of others, and bringing everyone higher (in a way that never clicked before reading this). You are not only a total rockstar, but also a transparent genius! Love love loved it!! Thank you!

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:17 am

My beloved island girl Sara

You have flirted with me from day one and I learned much about flirting from you! Sending you love always

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Joni SG TTH July 30, 2014 at 12:10 am

Rockstar~
Waaaaaay to go! I am more in awe of you than the first time I met you in
Miami. Your transformation during that weekend inspired me that I too could look within and get my insides to match outer exterior. I am so grateful and honored to be a part of your blog.
XOXO,
Joni SG TTH

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:18 am

Sg Joni

You are such a great flirt yourself! Love you

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Alice July 30, 2014 at 12:25 am

This was a phenomenal treatise on flirting, Rockstar! Thank you SO much! Such eloquence and clarity in so generously sharing your story with us! Your challenges with flirting (that so many of us struggle with) and your clear and loving expression of what flirting really is – this lifts the veil for all of us, clarifies it for all of us. Your post was absolutely beautiful – I was moved and inspired! Thank you SO much! Bodacious Alice
(We were in Mastery together last year.)

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:31 am

Dear SG Bodacious Alice

Thanks so much for your kind words and how could l ever forget you you bodacious love you!

Xxxooo

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SG Garden Goddess Leelee Diamond July 30, 2014 at 7:27 am

Thanks for this beautiful post. You are such a supportive, positive, vivacious flirt who sees light in those even if they can’t see it themselves. I loved reading this today. I don’t feel like I’ve ever really gotten this tool down and want to make it a top desire for boot camp coming up and mastery next year. See you in boot camp and Miami!!

Leelee

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:27 am

I can hardly wait to give you the biggest hug ever in Miami and am looking forward to boot camp with you!
Xxoo

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SG Sensual Shakaya July 30, 2014 at 11:42 am

Wow! That was delicious.
And O that photo of you…
You are a Legendary Flirt
and I’m taking notes, thank you, Petal!
xo

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:31 am

Thank you and so shall it be and even better!

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jennie July 30, 2014 at 3:29 pm

wow thank you for that I’m at a very low point right now but reading about your flirting has given me such a lift. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m going to start practicing flirting first thing

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:26 am

If you ever want to talk about getting out of that low point,there are about 2000 plus of us that will stand with you on the journey!

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Susan July 30, 2014 at 6:25 pm

This is my favorite article yet. Thank you so much. I got so much out of it. In so many paragraphs, I could see me…the insecurities, etc. This is going to inspire me to flirt!

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:24 am

If you need extra inspiration I am here for you!!!

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Ruby Red July 30, 2014 at 7:51 pm

Wow, you’re not called Rockstar for nothin’! You rock!! Thank you so much for your brilliant words. Also, as a lesbian, I appreciate your coming out so quickly and wonderfully here in your writing; we all want to know we are loved and accepted here. :)

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:23 am

Dear SG ruby red

Thanks for showing up with me in this blog!

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Rosie July 30, 2014 at 9:12 pm

I have been reading mama gena’s blogs for a few months now. They make a lot of sense, but seem a bit outrageous to me. I am nearly 50, overweight, single, ugly, unemployed and have very low self confidence. I live in Sydney, Australia, and we have a culture of self knocking, unlike the “have a nice day” attitude that you have in America. There is no way that I could afford to do any of the Womanly Arts courses, but it is nice to read the blog and emails that I get.
This is the first email that i coukld actually relate to. Thank you, Laurie, for a very honest and inspiring blog. I will try your flirting tips today.
Rosie

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Sg rockstar July 31, 2014 at 8:22 am

Hey Rosie

I would be happy to skype with you if you are interested in talking. I never thought I could afford mama gena either and that was emotionally and financially. In terms of payback on on investments this was an out of the park home run for me. Virtual pleasure boot camp sounds perfect, my email is laurie.irwin60@gmail.com. Let’s talk if you want to?

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SG Sue July 31, 2014 at 11:46 am

I love that picture of you with the lipstick on your cheek! So gorgeous!

I loved this article. I agree, flirting is one of the best ways to make yourself and everyone around you feel good. Just the simple of act of acknowledging a new outfit or haircut on someone, saying “hey handsome” to the mailman, or winking at myself in the mirror totally puts a spring in my step.

Thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself and your insights! You are amazing and a true rockstar!

oxox

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Sg Rockstar August 2, 2014 at 12:23 pm

Dear Sg Sue

My insights come from your inights come from our insighs and no into infinity. so amazing and wondeful we all are.

Rockstar.

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Sg Rockstar August 2, 2014 at 12:25 pm

forgive my typos – i get so excited sometimes!!

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Chantal July 31, 2014 at 5:56 pm

SG ROCKSTAR,

you might not remember me….but we did Booth Camp and Miami Together with SG Red Chilie.

I am soo soo soo trill to read your post and I am thrown of my seat by your beauty especially that photo with a Kiss…That is a gem…you are a gem.

I can feel all you vivacious energy through your post ….and I want to thank you for showing up so gloriously for Yourself first and then for your Sisters…what unlimited generosity you show in your reply ( flirts !!) with everyone who commented.

And thanks for the perspective on self flirt… I didn’t realize it but since Booth Camp I have perfected that …I will sometime spontaneously kiss my arm or my fingers or smell my skin and feel so much love and joy at and for my body.

and I wish you a Happy Belated Birth day and to your 30 + extra Birthadays…so shall they be or even better.

XOXO SG Purring Delight

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Sg Rockstar August 2, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Sg Chantal

I would never forget that first magical bootcamp that we all did together!! Love you -come to miami!!

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Sister Goddess of Miraculous Joy July 31, 2014 at 10:38 pm

Loved this write-up! It IS fun to be open, see what happens, spread that SG “fairy dust” around. Like a boomerang that one puts out there, and it comes back enhancing everyone.
Keep dancing, flirting, sharing!
nancy

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Sg Rockstar August 6, 2014 at 10:24 am

yeah for fairy dust and for flirting!!

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Deborah Smith aka SG Wicked August 4, 2014 at 3:25 pm

Dear Rockstar,
As always, you are the complete and total BOMB!!! There is so much useful info in your post that I am simply going to have to copy and paste the entire blog to my SWA Journal!!

Love you. See you in Miami.

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Sg Rockstar August 6, 2014 at 10:25 am

Thanks for the upride – you are so kind to keep me in your book!!

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Eunice Aekyung Lee August 6, 2014 at 1:29 pm

You’re beautiful! Thank you! Thank you for being a mirror to our own inherent beauty! <3 Eunice

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Mia August 6, 2014 at 4:43 pm

Thank you for sharing your flirting experience. I am excited and nervous to start. Flirting defined in this way makes so much more sense to me! I’m giggling just thinking of flirting with myself in the mirror. Hee hee. My heart feels lighter and the world feels a little less hard and serious. Yumm.

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Caliente Creatrix Mercedes August 7, 2014 at 12:08 pm

You are truly an inspiration. I love your spirit! I witnessed your transformation and I am so inspired by you and your generous, beautiful & flirty heart. Thank you for your post! I really liked what you said about how the art of flirting has enabled you to stop trying to control the outcome of a situation and how you are able to stay positive because of it. I enjoyed this line a lot: “It’s like walking through life with my hands open instead of my fists clenched”. You take me higher!

xo

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SG Abisola August 19, 2014 at 12:14 pm

Break it down to the bare essentials – you made my day! You sho is one hot mama! See you in Miami! xxooo

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