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Crime of Passion: A Valentine’s Rant


Here was my fantasy newspaper headline this morning:

Mama Gena, deranged leader of the Pleasure Revolution, joined by a pack of hot-looking Sister Goddesses, was picked up by police after defacing hundreds of Valentine’s displays throughout the city.

Good goddess, I get so divinely irritated by Valentine’s Day.
It is one of those days–like Christmas–that can really set a woman up to feel like she does not have her shit on straight.
And this year, I am in a particularly gnarly mood.
As you all know, I am dating. Whew. 🙂
(BTW, a HUGE thank you to those of you who sent me guys last month. I have had a couple of really really fun dates, and look forward to more! Keep ’em coming!)
At least I was in a gnarly mood…until I talked to Sister Goddess Emily, and she reminded me of where she was last Valentine’s Day.
Which reminded me that no matter how many stupid cupids are glaring at me with their pointy arrows, there is no excuse to waste a crime of passion on one of those little guys.
Read how Emily’s genius not only turned her Valentine’s Day around, but turned her life upside down and sideways till she was living her dreams, and beyond….

In January 2010, I was still recovering from a horrific heartbreak the previous autumn, and started out my year still convinced that I would never love again at the ripe old age of 28. As February approached, my thoughts were grim, “Oh, God. I hate Valentine’s Day. I’m not going to have a date. Wah wah wah.” You know the drill, I’m sure. But then one day, my spirit of human ingenuity and my Mastery training sprang to life and I thought, “Well, if I’m never going to have a boyfriend again, I’d better learn how to be the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.

So I did! I made the decision that February 2010 was going to be a wonderful month, come what may, and that I would do all the things for myself that a really great boyfriend would. Read on for what I did…

  1. I started out the month with a trip to my favorite sex shop, Coco de Mer, and purchased myself a little book of Pablo Neruda love poems. Then, I stopped by Vosges chocolates and bought myself a box of their truffles, my absolute favorite chocolates in the world (which I’d already learned through extensive chocolate research…). Both places, I asked the shop girls to wrap the purchases as a gift, because they were – a gift for myself! Doing this cranked up the fun factor of both the shopping trip and opening my gifts at home.
  2. Every night during the month of February before bed, I took off all my clothes, laid down on my sofa, and read myself a Pablo Neruda poem, once in English and then again in Spanish, really taking my time and savoring the sound of the words, even though I don’t speak a lick of Spanish. Then I’d savor one chocolate truffle – first smelling it, then admiring the texture, then nibbling it with the slowest, tiniest bites so that it took me the better part of 10 minutes to eat one truffle. If I had fresh flowers around, I’d end this ritual by sprinkling rose petals over my body, or I’d take a soft feather and enjoy the way it felt against my skin. This ritual always brought me back to a place of self-love, no matter what the day held, and also helped me ease into a relaxing sleep.
  3. I made sure to cook myself at least 3 new meals per week – things I’d never made before – to make myself feel even more loved and cherished.
  4. I joined Inner Circle at Mama Gena’s, because I knew that this would keep the spirit of self-love flowing for the next six months, and would support me in going for all my desires (this was really a genius move, if I say so myself…)
  5. I started S Factor classes as a pleasurable way to move my body in the dead of winter (soooo much better than joining a gym).
  6. I organized lots of dates with people I love–friends, gay boyfriends, theatre dates, brunch dates–as many fun outings as I could.
  7. For Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a gift I’m always happy to receive – a big bag full of Lush Valentine’s Day products! I look forward to these delights every year, and they never fail to disappoint. I made sure that I used them all up by the end of February to ensure that I would take several delicious baths to round out the month of pleasure.
  8. I bought two beautiful cards and wrote a love letter to myself and one to my future beloved. Because guess what? By the time I did all these things, I had faith that there WOULD be a beloved again. And you know what – now there is! But that’s a whole other story…

So that’s my list. I wanted a boyfriend who would cherish me, spoil my senses, take me on lots of fun dates, and encourage me to step into bigger things. And you know what? By cherishing myself, spoiling my own senses, taking myself on lots of fun dates, and encouraging myself to step into new, bold things, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world last February and every day since.

If I hadn’t picked up the tools I learned in Mastery and leaned into my community of Sister Goddesses, I can guarantee you I’d have plodded through February (and every other month) miserably. But because of my February pleasure experiment, I started dating again–a lot–which was FUN! I was living in that spirit of fun with men when I met my current amazing boyfriend–who is the love of my life, and is actually flying me to the U.K. next month to MEET HIS PARENTS!!!!! I promise you he wouldn’t have found me half as adorable if I hadn’t been living in my pleasure and treating myself like a goddess. And even more importantly, I have the tools to continue to care for myself, even now that the boyfriend has arrived. But I had to go there myself first before I could take someone else on the ride.

For me a great boyfriend would read me love poems while feeding me chocolate truffles, but for some it may be planning that long-desired skydiving trip (eek!) or taking a class in pastry-making (yum!). The only thing to remember is that you don’t need to wait for the boyfriend to arrive to do all the wonderful things he’d do for and with you. Do them now, Field of Dreams-style, and you’ll be having too much fun to care if he comes or not. And if nothing else, you’ll have an amazing February this year that will carry on into the next 10 months and beyond!

SG Emily

The Womanly Arts Mastery Program is wide-reaching, in-depth and outstanding—with all you need to not only taste your dreams but chow down. Spring Mastery 2011- the only Mastery Program this year- kicks off on Saturday, March 5th- only 18 days from now!

Everyone enrolled by 5pm next Monday, February 21st will get to be on the phone LIVE with Mama Gena for the “Welcome to Spring Mastery” call.  You’ll join Mama and your classmates from all over the globe to get the party started!

Are you ready to experience the level of havingness that SG Emily is having-not only with your relationships- but in every area of your life? Are you ready to put your hands on the controls of YOUR creativity, YOUR enjoyment, YOUR pleasure and YOUR love?

With so much love and pleasure,

Mama Gena

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18 Comments / Leave a Comment

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Martha Garvey February 17, 2011, 3:08 pm

    I giantly giantly need this today, because I feel as if I am being the worst boyfriend in the world to myself. Must. Change. This.

    • Mama Gena February 22, 2011, 11:37 pm

      i had emily write this just for you sg martha 🙂

      with so much love and pleasure
      mama gena

  • Ayodele February 15, 2011, 11:02 am


  • gail February 14, 2011, 2:35 pm

    Love love love this .. self love is the greatest love of all.

  • Magnes Welsh February 14, 2011, 2:26 pm

    SG Emily

    YOu are a genius conjurer and such a beauty too.
    Your geniusness reminds me of how I am being loving to myself. I treated myself to a 3-day weekend at the Broadmoor with 2 couple of girlfriends and had 3 spa treatments that where divine and one was downright orgamic — a hydrotherapy shower with 18 shower heads. We got all dressed up and went to the five star restaurant on property for dinner with a 3-piece orchestra and a fabulous vocalist singing love songs. Saturday I took a lovely walk around the lake and flirted with the men who were also out walking solo. Sunday we went to its gorgeous Valentine Day brunch.

    I am going to continue this for the rest of the month…with more joyous gifts to myself.

    Someone suggested the cheeriest idea this morning: buying a big box of the Valentines like we received as children. Sign them “You are loved.” or “I love you.” or your own creative message and distribute them everywhere. Sign or don’t sign them. Put them on windshields, drop in a colleagues bag or leave on the desk or slip under people’s door in your building…or give to service people…anyone who comes in your path.

    Happy Valentines Day. I love you.

    SG Magnes

  • SG SHERRY BERRY February 14, 2011, 1:38 pm

    Hello Mama Gena, SG Emily and all the beautiful sistergoddesses. When I read this wonderful testament to the power of self love, pleasure and sisterhood, I realized that I was on the right track. Let me explain:
    My birthday was yesterday (Feb. 13) and I always felt like a loser because my special day fell the day before Valentines Day ( can you believe that, the things we as women do to disparage ourselves, anyway). However, turning 34 something just clicked inside and I do believe it has a lot to do with me attending the desire intensive last Nov, as well as receiving Mama Gena’s Daily fluff and me just accepting my big ol’ beautiful and fabulous self. Sooooooooooo- drum roll please. This month I will have a spa day where they have milk chocolate massages, chocolate pedicures and dark/ milk chocolate facials and champagne. Isn’t that divine? Yes instead of letting that fat little cupid kick my ass I am kicking it’s little chubby ass right back and saying- I love myself, I won’t let being single be a confirmation of inadequacy- and for the first time in my life I am enjoying lovely, goddessly single self.
    Yes, ladies my first spa day is due and I plan on enjoying every minute of it. 2011 is the year of self love, self exploration, self joy and self pleasure. I also think 2011 is the year of the Goddess, I don’t know but I see more and more women waking up to there divinity- including my mom and older sister. It is truly a beautiful thing.

    Well, just wanted to say hats off to SG Emily for a fantastic example of the womanly arts tools and all my love to Mama Gena and the School of Womanly Arts. You are all my sisters and therefore I send my love to all of you this Valentines Day.

  • Palma February 14, 2011, 12:59 pm

    WOW EM!!! having witnessed the beginning of this close up, i am in awe of your conjuring and seeing you now

    fly on your dreams….sooo brilliant…yesss to being the person that you want in your life…love and juice for the

    perfect continuation of unfoldment of your dreams…beijos xxx

  • Deb February 14, 2011, 12:40 pm

    I brag that I suffered a pretty big disappointment yesterday, but came up with the “love myself through Valentine’s Day” idea all by myself anyway! Great ideas though, Emily!!

  • SG Monick February 14, 2011, 12:35 pm

    Great story and thanks for sharing those tools!

  • Sandra February 14, 2011, 12:26 pm

    You are wonderful……yes – I read about loving yourself and I think ‘ how does one really do that?’ – and you made it very visible on how one does that – thank you!!

    hugs and love, Sandra

  • Barbara February 14, 2011, 12:25 pm

    I just read this after coming home with 2 bouquets for myself. Now, I’m going to take it a few steps further since I read SG Emily’s story. I love it! And, I know the yummiest man is very close, making his way to delicious me. xo

  • SG Dangerous Beauty Rachel February 14, 2011, 12:06 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing all the yummy pleasurable details of your pleasure diet! This is So Inspiring!!!

  • Dana February 14, 2011, 11:22 am

    You ladies are both so brilliant – Thank you!

  • Lana Bos February 14, 2011, 11:03 am

    This is soooo brilliant! THANK YOU both for sharing!!
    Valentine Love from Scandinavia <3<3<3

  • BSG Suzi Banks Baum February 14, 2011, 10:45 am

    Total gooseflesh.
    You and the chocolates and the poetry….Emily…you embody our dear Ghandi with a touch of MamaGena
    “Be the Boyfriend You Want to Have in the World”.

    Love you Angel.
    Well bragged.
    Love and hugs on this Valentine’s Day, S

  • SG Christine February 14, 2011, 10:20 am

    I love this! As I read this gorgeous testimony, my smile just grew and grew. How amazing it will be to give and receive and to appreciate and savor every single gift. And to have each one be exactily what I wanted! Thank you so much, Emily and Mama Gena for sharing this today.

    xoxo, SG Christine

  • Sharon February 14, 2011, 9:25 am

    Thank you, Mama!! For the first time in 24 years, I am having the experience of being my own Valentine. I bought myself a dozen roses and am planning on having Champaign & Chocolate Covered Strawberries tonight.

    But what Emily did goes way beyond just having a special day. She was ‘romancing the beloved’ and what a beautiful example of self-love. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Emily for teaching me expanded possibilities for loving myself!

    I think I’m gonna follow SG Devna’s lead and copy this post.

    Muah!! With Gratitude,

    SG Sharon

  • SG Denva February 14, 2011, 8:53 am

    Holy SHIT. This is exactly what I needed. Thank Mama Gena, thank you SG Emily. This is exactly where I want to be in love with myself, having a damn good time. You’re both perfect.

    I am actually copying this and posting it in my mastery folder. One of my most beloved folders that I have.

    SMOOCHES and Happy Valentine’s Day.