Depletion, depletion everywhere

Darling,

Thank you so much for your amazing, beautiful questions from last week. I love it when we get to go back and forth, you giving me a window into your soul, into what is mattering most, what keeps you up at night and where your deepest longings lie.
I do not take your questions lightly.
Your desires, the things you want, are of deepest importance to me.
We are all in this together.
I have exactly the same challenges, the same yearnings, but I have a hat full of tools that I want you to be able to access, to pad your way to even deeper fulfillment.

There was a question that popped up many times, in several different forms.
I loved this question, because it is the iconic question of the age and time that we live in.

“I am utterly depleted. How do I keep my sex life alive with my husband, when I am so burnt out from work, and kids?”
“I am constantly stressed and depleted – how do I feel like a woman when I live and work in a man’s world?”
“Three kids, a house to take care of, I am depleted. Help.”

Can you see a theme here?
Depletion, everywhere.
The word depletion is interesting. Webster says that depletion is ‘the reduction in the number or quantity of something.’
What is getting reduced here, in this age, this time, this place, for so many women?
The erotic. 
Your erotic.
My erotic.
Our erotic.

The erotic has been banished from motherhood, the workplace, the traditional marriage. She’s been banished from our education, our spiritual practices, our social lives, aging, academia, healing, even our sex lives.
She has been overtaken by production. Doing. Working. Achieving. Which we are all so very very good at.
Each woman who posed a Q this week has absolutely no trouble working hard. She can do that with her eyes closed. She knows how to stay late at the office, how to hunker down, clean up the mess, give her all, get s&*t done, make it happen.
There is kind of a (cheap) thrill in how very very competent she is at anything and everything.

Why cheap?
Because this kind of competence that we have all been taught to excel at, leaves a woman empty at the end of her very very long day.
She has given til the well is dry.
And just like all those acres of now-barren land in Fresno, California that used to produce millions of pounds of fruits and vegetables, the climate changes for a woman have left her high and left her dry.

And here is the really hard part:
The last place on earth that a woman has been taught to look is where the antidote lies.
The erotic is a wellspring, a continual never-ending source, running through each of us, constantly replenishing and renewing.
Which most of us have never been taught to access.
We have been taught to work hard, or harder. To give, or give more. To serve, and to service.
Flipping that switch feels kind of crazy-making. Embarrassing. Socially risky. And worst of all: unproductive.

The School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program is an in-depth journey into the reclamation and complete embodiment of the erotic soul of a woman.
But to begin here, allow me to lure you into a new neighborhood, and hold up a different lens.
I want you to consider taking all that excellence that you possess and use it in a different direction.

Today, before you begin looking after the kids, your man, checking your email…take a moment, and look after Her. Who is She? She is the part of you that loves music that makes her soul sing, loves beauty in every form, loves the word ‘exquisite,’ responds to poetry, to flowers, to soft touch and a sidelong glance. She adores praise, longs to have her magnificence noticed and responded to, and loves to walk slowly, feeling her hips sway gently from side to side. She loves candlelight. Magnificently prepared food. Ripe anything. Fragrance. The feeling of fabric against her skin. Dancing in her fashion. Things that sparkle or catch light. She loves to give of her deepest passion, and engage with every drop of her being. She loves nature, the changes in the weather, and making room inside for what she cherishes most deeply.

Most of us, as women, have been taught that we must wait and receive these experiences from another person.
Which leaves us high and dry.
There is another option.
What about each of us being responsible for handling our own depletion?
There is freedom there.
And all it takes is a willingness to experiment with a different choice.

For example, she might choose a poem in the morning, to take with her and read out loud every hour.
She might choose a theme song for the day that causes her connect to her beauty.
She might take a handful of rose petals and secretly trail them as she goes to the nursery to tend the baby, or hits the grocery store, knowing her presence is equally perfumed as the petals she drops in her own pathway.
She might spend her lunch hour designing a special tryst she is anticipating with her husband.
Can you feel the soul fuel in those choices?

The erotic is the deep connection that a woman has with the most sacred part of herself, the part of her that is both timeless and eternal, that never diminishes, but only intensifies, the more she pays attention to it.
When a woman is in constant investigation of her erotic landscape, her well never empties, her cup is always full. (Click to tweet!)
What can you do today, to feed your erotic nature?

In the comment section below…inspire me.
Inspire every woman in our community with the extravagance of your self-love. Filling your erotic longing is only a thought, and then an action, away.

With so much love and pleasure,
mama-gena-sig-180px

  • 54 Comments · Leave One

{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }

Judy February 18, 2014 at 9:08 am

What I learned in SWA is that 99% of women are afraid….afraid to be women, afraid of failure, afraid to go out in the world and slay dragons. They give to avoid living their own lives then live passive aggressively. I don’t understand how they have no balance.

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Judy rabinowitz February 18, 2014 at 1:02 pm

I love this. At a very elementary place, I chose to gift myself a day off as work was quite slow. I began my day in quiet, hearing beautiful words in my head. I stretched and did my PR saying my grats. I listrned to spiritual music by Donna Deloria, gorgeous, and topped it off with Katie perry Roar. My self love today is beginning my financial crystal clarity program. My fun beauty action will be bold colored manicure that I luv to do myself. Then spread coconut oil on my face.

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Judy February 18, 2014 at 5:27 pm

Fabulous!!

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BSG Glitzy Cougar Karen February 18, 2014 at 9:21 am

I spent my life trying to take care of others…my alcoholic father, my wounded mom, then married a lonely, angry workaholic guy, had my two fabulous babies (the light in all of that), then discovered my theatre career, which kept me juiced during my arid marriage. But I operated often on 3 hours of sleep with all of that (and the volunteer work and the part time job).

When I went through my divorce, my entire being stopped. Literally. She said, “no more, you are doing this differently. For years, it was intense quiet, spiritual time, but within that I had two “worldly” desires…for candlelight all over my home, and belly-dancing! What? Why? Ah, the erotic. I had no name for it then. I do now, via SWA, and this new way of life. It takes time to unlearn the old way. But I’m learning. Always learning to open more to it. Thanks for the reminder, Regena.

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mama gena February 18, 2014 at 10:42 am

thanks for your courage, karen!

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Jeanne February 18, 2014 at 9:25 am

This is perfect, utterly perfect, and spot-on. It is exactly what I needed to hear today. And your paragraph describing what a woman loves? I have written almost the exact same thing in my journal of what I love…we need to take time for ourselves. You cannot give what you do not have! Thank you for this post.

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mama gena February 18, 2014 at 10:43 am

you are so welcome, jeanne!

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Sue D February 18, 2014 at 9:37 am

Your post is so very timely! This morning I woke up feeling kind of blah…. lack of sleep…. no motivation… yet another fucking snow storm on the horizon…. I needed to change it up a bit. I took my time this morning getting ready for my day. Spent a few extra minutes in the shower, used the best smelling, richest moisturizer, and my favorite perfume, walked around naked, put on my brightest magenta sweater, had a great breakfast, sang at the top of my lungs on my drive to work, and spent my first ten minutes in my office connecting with coworkers. I feel revived after spending the extra time caring for myself this morning and the snow and to-do list are much less daunting. Thanks for you post! Looking forward to starting Mastery!

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Elizabeth February 19, 2014 at 12:32 pm

I love this! Brilliant!

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Mel February 20, 2014 at 8:31 am

Sue – I’m waiting for a snowstorm too. Thanks for inspiring me to take some extra love time this morning!

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magical February 18, 2014 at 9:55 am

Dear Mama Gena, thank you for reminding us all the time of taking care of that essential to feed us as women. i realised a while ago how beautiful sensitive my breasts are. They are like antenna, and I can feel so much with them, on an energetic level. It seems to me the bra’s we see today are not letting through anything with all the padding. I rarely wear a bra now, since my size allows me that. However soemtimes i do like to wear one and it leaves me almost claustrophobic. I came up with the idea of designing my own today. Have some beautiful silk laying around… who knows what will come out of it. I don’t know how it is for other women, i would like to say, try it out. Feel!!! It is so freeing!

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mama gena February 18, 2014 at 10:50 am

fun idea!!

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Mary Lynne Johnson February 18, 2014 at 6:51 pm

I agree, Magical. I have rarely worn a bra since my recovery from breast cancer five years ago. I choose to wear a stretchy tank top, like a camisole.
It is freeing and healthier for your lymph system. I would love to hear more about your designs for freeing the breasts. Best of luck.

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Suzi February 18, 2014 at 10:01 am

I spent years in a marriage where I ended up feeling like the “guy” in the relationship – I was the breadwinner, took care of the house, was responsible for cleaning and cooking (of course! I have a vagina, right? That automatically makes cooking and cleaning MY responsibilities). I made all the major decisions where the kids were concerned and sex was unfulfilling to say the least. I’m out of that situation now, but found myself forgetting how to be the girl in a relationship. As I ventured out into the dating world, I didn’t even know how to let a man buy me dinner, for heaven’s sake! It has been a year and a half of re-discovery on how to be a woman again. I had a real Mama Gena moment when I decided to send myself 2 dozen red roses for Valentine’s Day. I wanted roses, damnit, and I knew a man would not provide them for me. So I sent them to myself. Recently I signed up for pole dancing classes. The idea of fitness and sensuality at the same time really speaks to me. It has been a year and a half of little wins, but I’m starting to become the woman I really want to be. I love this post, and I love what you do, Mama Gena! Thank you!

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SG Theresa February 18, 2014 at 3:50 pm

OMG! You have described my life! It is really wonderful to know that you have transcended that situation. Gives me hope!

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Earlene February 18, 2014 at 10:09 am

Laying naked between soft flannel sheets this morning, I read your blog and understood more about why I choose to slip out of my night clothes sometime in the middle of sleep. I relish the opportunity every morning to roam around the bed feeling my skin and sensuousness. It’s a little thing. Sometimes it gives me a smile all day or a giggle. Then there are the days I decide to wear no panties. I just turned 69 and am feeling more of my personal aliveness than I ever felt at 20.

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Mittens Oakland February 18, 2014 at 11:24 am

Ooooh, sleeping naked in flannel sheets is the sweetest feeling ever! It has taken years for me to stop feeling wrong and bad for going to bed without my nighties on, owing to my puritanical upbringing, but it’s not too late to change.

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Lois February 19, 2014 at 11:17 pm

Way to go Earlene.

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Annie February 18, 2014 at 10:16 am

Love this post. Perfect timing for me, as well. And my favorite part? It reminded me how much I already am engaging in the erotic in my daily life, how much those small pauses or touches throughout the day matter. I do a number of the ideas you suggested on a regular basis. Some other faves: red lipstick, wearing a sexy outfit even while working by myself at home, reading aloud to myself, having my tea in a lovely cup, noticing the sensory pleasures of the moment like the taste of my tea, the feeling of my food in my mouth, the sway of my hips as I walk. I also find that connecting to an awareness of my mouth and lips will tune me into the erotic very quickly. Giving myself a quick head or neck massage. Of course dancing with my man, whether it’s tango or something else – we do this a lot in the midst of our day or evening, just pause for a little spin. What a gift! And I love to dance by myself too, sometimes singing along, sometimes not. I love to lie on the floor or my bed and let a good song wash over me. Also I feel like almost anything can be erotic or at least have an erotic layer to it. Because we are always in our bodies plus we all have imaginations. I will never forget temping as a legal proofreader at a corporate law firm one day in nyc and connecting to how smooth the paper of the document I was working on felt between my fingers. Instant, subtle, but compelling eroticism and sensuality right there in the middle of that oh-so-dry task and environment. Thinking back on that, it occurs to me that maybe one reason why so many of us turn to sugar and other junk foods and beverages in stressful or unfulfilling work settings is that we are yearning for the erotic and looking for it in what we’re eating. My shamanic astrologer, Sao Long, once said people reach for ice cream when feeling lonely because it’s soft and sexy. Interesting, right? Cheers to us all for exploring the erotic in healthy, sustainable, and most importantly delicious, ways.

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christina kerr February 18, 2014 at 10:23 am

Loved your post! Wow, I have learned alot from you!
I am currently looking for a shaman, could you recommend someone?

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christina kerr February 18, 2014 at 10:19 am

Yes, I loved taking care of myself on this snowey morning!
I listen to my favorite music, wrote my vision to love, read a sweet pom, and commit to be more sensual with myself in the way I move and interact today!

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Nubian Goddess February 18, 2014 at 10:25 am

This is such a timely post! It totally boggles my mind how our culture has made it “the norm” to feel uncomfortable, tired and out of sorts. Since starting the school in 2011, I have learned that my true power comes from within, from pussy, and when I listen and follow her, there is so much ease and flow. When I try to do “what I’m supposed to do”, I struggle and toil like a salmon swimming upstream.

I am constantly reminded-and this post is another reminder-that when I follow and utilize my erotic power, I move with ease and grace. And even better, I typically get more done in less time and far less effort. Thanks for all you do Regena to move us all towards working from our own innate power

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elizabeth February 18, 2014 at 10:31 am

Dearest Regena,
I am so grateful for what you have written in this blog. This situation is a rampant disease of our time and I am observing it increasing. I remember the first time I read your first book, where you said, “We are taught to work hard and then deprive ourselves.” That moment was my initiation into Sister Goddesshood.

What deeply feeds my soul is music. And I had to pleasure of singing and recording and finally!!!! finishing my cherished first album. There were many “reasons” to postpone that pleasurable act of completion and joy, but I did it. Afterwards I noticed I felt in love with myself in a way I haven’t in a very, very long time. I could feel my femininity and beauty and sacredness. I also take dance breaks. For Valentines Day I gave myself 6 bunches of flowers and put them allover my bedroom and this really made me happy.

What you are doing is sacred and vital. Thank you! Love, Elizabeth

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gillian February 18, 2014 at 10:35 am

I got the CHILLS reading this. So gorgeous mama! As a recent grad trying to job search, I’ve been feeling depleted when I’m at a time in my life when I should be so alive. Your post gave me permission to drop the guilt and grind for a second and just enjoy being here :)

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Jules February 18, 2014 at 11:12 am

Dear Mama Gena,

thank you so much for this post! So timely — lately I have been focusing on the sacred, lusty part of me that is SO joyful. I am home from work (chronic over do-er here) recuperating from a full hysterectomy and I decided to use this time to blast myself with as much positivety and sensuality as possible – I have theme songs I listen to, I have been wearing lovely soft clothes that embrace my curves, I wear just a little make-up and tell myself how beautiful I am every time I look in the mirror…I read positive and spiritual books that inspire me, and I have also listened a lot to Dr. Christiane Northrup, a grad of yours, on Attracting the Love of Your Life (surprise — we are IT).

I have never felt more feminine and lovely and happy and powerful because of my focus of the goddess in me!! This focus is a gift and a life changer and I am not going back the depleted work-a-holic, over-doer I have been for most of my life. I would love to take your Virtual Boot Camp in the Fall! Thank you for your great work. Also, I shared your video on Flirtation with my grown daughters for Valentine’s Day — spread the wisdom — I am owning and celebrating my erotic nature and JOY!! — love , Jules

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Sharon Pearson February 18, 2014 at 11:42 am

Most women don’t get it……including me, we could have been born a chicken, a bee or a man hole cover, or nothing at all, you are a woman, what a gift, nothing else just woman, the only thing between you and absolute joy and appreciation of this up taking of life (the marriage of the finite and the infinite) is thinking ‘woman’ has caveats, it doesn’t. Actually the beeness of bees and the ‘feminine’ of my hens humbles me, I think they do a better job of being themselves than me sometimes….

I love Billy Joels ‘She’s Always A Woman’ and Queen ‘Somebody to love’ and that would be…..me!!! XX

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Anne February 18, 2014 at 11:42 am

Mama Gena,

Thank you so much for your beautiful words which I just read this morning. I’ve woken up with a headache everyday for the past few days. I get up, take advil, make a cup of coffee and then begin taking care of the kids, the husband, the cat, the dog. So many need me constantly. I finally quit my job but, jeez, the needs of others never ends! But yesterday as I folded the laundry I took the time to indulge in the Ice Dancing at the Sochi Olympics – one of my favorite things. I watched the women in their sparkly, pretty costumes, as they and their partners glided, swung, swirled, leaped and flew to dizzying heights. Such power, passion, fearlessness, grace, elegance, artistry, precision, sexiness. It’s just thrilling for me. And it fed me. And the kitchen is now a mess and I DON’T CARE. Because filling myself with those performances was much more important. Today one of my daughters is sick but thanks to your reminder I will find something to fill my soul because my life depends on it.

Thank you so very much for your endless generosity and care for all of us.

Love, Anne

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Earth Empress Shakaya February 18, 2014 at 11:48 am

This is so vitally important!

I have internalized this question passionately and intimately for most of my life.

At 16 my beautiful, beloved single mom died suddenly of a heart attack when she was just 49.
Every minute a couple women are struck down by heart dis-ease.
This is a tragedy of epic proportions…every one a library burning to the ground.

I just turned 49 and my son just turned 16.
And I have a heart condition.

Fortunately, that is where the similarities end.

I do not smoke.
I have a husband who loves me.
I practice what I call the 7 Sanctuaries of Exquisite Self Care.

It is essential to nourish our body and dreams DAILY-
I help women get on a deep core level that Self care isn’t selfish, it’s SACRED.

And a huge part of ESC is Support~
I have joined Mastery to enhance my sense of community through offering and receiving Sisterhood.

I have so much to learn from you Mama, and I’m so looking forward to this journey with you all Xxo

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mama gena February 18, 2014 at 12:53 pm

wow.
you are remaking your life, your lineage.
i am so grateful that you have chosen mastery.
can’t wait to meet you!!
xo
mg

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Lori February 18, 2014 at 11:50 am

Mama Gena,

Thank you for caring.

Lori

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SG Hot Mess Michelle February 18, 2014 at 11:57 am

I discovered after taking a dip in a freezing pool in Miami (for SG Weekend) that it wakes up all my nerves in a refreshing way. After reading this, I went for the tiniest of walks outside. The sun in shining and the ground is covered in snow. I allowed myself to be present to the sensations of my body adjusting to the cold and then back to the warm. It’s so much more than the initial temperature “shock.” My body adjusted in waves. I feel so much more present and connected with my breath now. Thank you.

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phyllis February 18, 2014 at 12:06 pm

We sure are in this together!
Lets not forget the words of a friend of mine: ” We teach others how to treat us”
Lets teach them that we want to be heard, seen, appreciated and affirmed!!!

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Ashley February 18, 2014 at 12:26 pm

I just got an amazing job because of you, Mama Gena! Right before my interview I was feeling nervous and inadequate and depleted from the pressures of my current job. Not juicy, not alive, not worthy. And then I watched your YouTube video called Start Getting What You Want Now. And I sopped up some of your loveliness and spunk and sassiness. I went into the interview and not only did I nail it, but the man who was interviewing me barely asked me any questions. He just seemed to absorb my smile, my calm positive energy, and my confidence. He let me ask questions about and told me about the Culture of Exuberance that they strive to maintain in their workplace. He seemed to be speaking from my own soul as he told me about the spirit of play that they infuse into their work. He showed me the Bloody Mary bar in the break room. And then without further aof, he offered me my dream job as an online content writer for his company, part time but with better pay than I’m making now.

I feel renewed and ready to get back in touch with pleasure, not just on the weekends but every day, every minute. I love the woman I was able to be in that interview because you reminded me to fight for my own pleasure.

Thank you.

Ashley

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mama gena February 18, 2014 at 12:54 pm

congratulations!!
you are incredible.
they are so lucky to have you!!
xo
mg

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Caroline February 18, 2014 at 12:41 pm

Thank you for the reminder. I have a long habit of being a disembodied head. I am astounded by how easy it is to wake up a body just by focusing attention. We are the gatekeepers of our own pleasure. Now if I can just make a habit of it.

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linea February 18, 2014 at 12:47 pm

thank you so much mg and goddesses for posting, so great to be remembered thats its all about enjoying all the tiny delicious and fun things – my head is constantly thinking about where to go, the next great plan, but so much better to tap into my body and feel – everything! now my head will have to think about remembering that :-)

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Maria February 18, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Thank you Mama Gena. This is just perfect for this time in my life. DEPLETION! And I am slowly starting to turn it around and do less for others more for me (always my kids) but focus on what matters. Because of the depletion I have felt sick all the time in my belly, nerves, anxious, depression basically empty a lot of the time. So glad I was turned onto this group from My facialist I met at Neiman Marcus.

God Bless!

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Deborah Smith aka SG Wicked February 18, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Ahhh . . . so inspiring and uplifting. I rose this AM to a headache and reading this is slowing me down and deepening my breath so my head does not hurt as much! Thank you!!!

I adore sleeping nude: the cool cotton sheets in the summer and my cozy flannels in the winter feel SOOO good (thank you Mom and Dad for being so into the naked body as natural and beautiful).
Dance breaks! I am getting so much better at giving them to myself.
Doing less: because of you MG I paid attention to my work schedule and when it became apparent I was finishing a week with nothing left in reserve I requested and was given a 4 on, 3 off schedule. This works SO much better.
Hot bathes with luscious additions: milk or essential oils or fizz bombs or my daughter’s AMAZING scented salts have been my default go to for years (except the relatively new addition of Sis’s salts).
Flowers: bought myself two bunches of the sweetest pink roses the week BEFORE Valentine’s Day (why wait!!!)
Great Meals: took my son to one of the finest restaurants the other night-wonderful!!!
Scent: I am having so much fun layer scents that I love. I keep it subtle by misting each scent well above my head and just letting it gently settle. I love the way this creates a cloud of sensual aroma when I come back into the room at the end of the day!
Nude sunbathing-for just a little while (when it’s warm enough!).
Riding bareback- I love feeling the warmth of my horse all along my upper legs and behind. Plus hugging him, burying my nose in his neck and breathing in deep, exchanging nostril breathe and whispering in his ear.
Going barefoot or wearing the thinnest soled footwear I can find: made myself a pair of moccasins from a kit for just this purpose.
Kissing,whispering in the ear of, burrowing my fingers deep into the manes and coats of and scratching all my big beasties at the end of each work day.
Wearing as little as possible in the way of clothing whenever possible: I love the feel of air on my skin.
Skinny dipping!
xoxox

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Sparkly Shilpa February 18, 2014 at 2:39 pm

Perfect timing for me to read and receive this post! THANK YOU for this beautiful reminder of the magic of the SWA.
While I could have had a very depleting past few weeks, I was brilliant enough to schedule a spa day for myself (entirely on gift certificates) in the midst of a crazy work schedule.
SO uplifting to read so many wonderful comments.
This message is reminding me to keep taking it higher.
LOVE the expansiveness of this amazing community!
Thank you!!!

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Debra aka Paradise February 18, 2014 at 2:50 pm

I write myself the little love letters that I would want to receive from my man. Some days he tells me of his love for me, some days he writes of my beauty and often he tells me of the ways he wants to give me pleasure. I randomly pick one of the notes to take with me to work and read it in the middle of my workday for a pick me up. Sometimes I stick one in the middle of a book that I am reading and have a delightful surprise when I get to that page.

Once you have a clearer idea of what you want, it becomes more difficult to settle for less.

Mama Gena taught me how important it is to bring pleasure, beauty, sparkles and giggles into my own life.

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SG Ti February 18, 2014 at 3:07 pm

Having a signature scent is a huge pleasure for me. I smell my wrists during the day and remember my sensual self. I feel sophisticated and seductive. I’ve recently started keeping an online diary (a few, thanks to penzu) and one of my tags is Desire, so I can remember what makes my heart sing when I feel depleted. Most recently, a catalog for discount dance wear came to my work and since then, I’ve been dreaming of floaty frocks, jazz shoes, light layers, leg warmers, low-backed leotards and sequins. The most important change was choosing 2014 as a year of replenishment after an overcommitted 2013 that left me feeling flat, resentful, and whiny. It is so much fun to delete or unsubscribe from emails for seminars, courses, and special offers. It’s hard to hear my erotic self when I’m straining toward some fictional future me.

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Susan July 30, 2014 at 6:47 pm

“it’s hard to hear my erotic self when I’m straining toward some fictional future me.” Wow. Just wow. Thank you for that!

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Beth February 18, 2014 at 3:16 pm

I’ve hit a rough patch lately, and have really been thinking about what Mama Gena has said about a woman embracing her darkness and her light. So today I’m honoring my sadness and my grief and standing for the phoenix within me that rises again and again. I’m finding an inspiring song and some delicious cappuccino and will sit in quiet as long as I can… and then the day will find me and I’ll rise from the ashes and return the calls, take the meetings, pick up the kids….staying connected to my inner core of pleasure and joy of being a woman – dark and light.

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Jane Gossard February 18, 2014 at 3:36 pm

I love that you are talking about our erotic nature right now. I ordered a book for Valentine’s Day called “Erotic Poems by E. E. Cummings.” I am so psyched to read it with my husband tonight. Inspired by that, I wrote an erotic poem today called, “Lilies.” I spent a lot of time just looking closely at some white lilies in a cobalt blue vase on my kitchen table. Flowers are amazingly erotic when you really take the time to look at them. I recommend it! Thanks, Mama!

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Dee February 18, 2014 at 10:18 pm

This Post! So much YES in here! So, so grateful for you and this! Thank you for this reminder.

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C - February 19, 2014 at 1:20 am

Hi mama gena,
I wonder if you might be able to give me some advice on how you would handle being disconnected from the feminine erotic side that you describe due to childhood trauma. How do you develop that as it was something that 1 was not nurtured by your parents and 2 was what you hid because of the trauma?

I would really like to find that part of me that you describe.

Thanks!
C

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SG LAIKA February 20, 2014 at 1:39 am

I chose to leave work early today to meet a friend for dinner… We shared desires and inspired each other… We bragged and we did some spring cleaning… Now I’m in bed, wearing an adorable cropped shirt n had a sweet convo with my hubby over the phone(he’s on a business trip)… I feel every cell in my body is smiling n feeling hot, sexy and loved…

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LiYana February 20, 2014 at 2:49 pm

my favorite image was trailing rose petals on the way to the nursery, not only for the sensual response it invoked, but what it would require of that mother to choose it, in the moment.

i also noticed i placed that fictional mama on a pedestal, and bestowed her with more resiliency, humour, and playfulness than i have a the moment. i noticed i placed a chasm between “her” and me, since hers were such heroic acts and her shoes so grand, i couldn’t even come close. and then i thought, if i can’t go the whole nine yards, what homeopathic amount of erotic can i invoke, now? i might not wow the world with the size of my turn-on, but i can muster a tiny speck, and i decide that counts on the richter scale of woman.

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Phyllida February 20, 2014 at 8:29 pm

It made me smile in wonder this morning when I finally checked my emails (they had been piling up and of course the more there were the less I wanted to check them) and saw this post… This is exactly the thing I needed to read this week. I haven’t been giving myself enough sleep, enough pleasure, enough anything for several weeks and it’s starting to wear me down. I constantly judge myself and am starting to judge others too; being bitchy over everything, feeling like people are fed up with me, disliking everything in my closet despite the fact that I take care to buy pretty things, feeling pitiful when it comes to men in my life. Gah. I’m glad I got that out of me…. I think I can turn this around now, I hope I can, haha I will find some way to – I always do. Tomorrow I will do my hair and cook myself a cute and tasty breakfast. Love you Mama Gena! Thanks for this.

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Stephanie Marrone February 21, 2014 at 7:15 am

You are so right. We are in charge of our depletion and we, as women, must take a stand for own happiness and pleasure. I know depletion very very well. It’s funny that some who teach really don’t practice what they preach to others. They are a farce and it’s a pity. What happened to people before profits?? Oh wait, that’s right, when it comes to money, that’s not the case when you are asking for $6,500 for an 8 month course.

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Phyllida February 21, 2014 at 3:14 pm

@Stephanie Marrone: It discourages me too that the price for inperson classes is so high and I won’t have enough money to get inperson classes for quite a while, but the books and the blog are helpful don’t you think? We can’t control what MG asks for and she does give a lot of energy to this cause. Plus, she wants that much money, she wants to live the lifestyle she does, so I think it’s inspiring because she asks that much and people are willing to pay for it… She gets her desire. She literally makes a living by being fabulous. That’s definitely how I want to make a living!! I think if I ever do get enough money for the inperson courses and still want to do them, I will, and enjoy it the whole time not just because it’ll be an adventure but because I’m taking such an expensive class for the sole purpose of having a good time in life. I’d be spending that much money on myself. It would be nice, you know? And if you don’t ever want to spend that much, If I never have enough money to afford it, the book and the blog still offer enough of the basics for us to figure out what works for us and have fun doing other things.

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SG Princess Tammie Awakened Pussy February 21, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Since Miami Mama Gena would be proud….. the conjouring of all the beautiful gifts… the pampering… the ME TIME…… taking care of me….. I had that colonoscopy for the big 50 yesterday and scheduled that bladder splint surgery for next week and lost 15 lbs and took 5 vacations since Miami… Snorkeling with Stephen in Aruba was the tops… working on that dance CD combo yet… took a bunch of scrapbooking weekends for me and planned 4 more – woo hooo,,,, This week committed to a NY trip for a friends Abundance and Prosperity seminar and schedule classes for pole dancing and belly dancing….. on the way home from Miami I drove a convertable back to Pittsburgh and we stopped at 3 adult stores ….. bought a sex swing… some great pole dancing how to videos and some additional fun videos and of course lots of new toys to tie Stephen up with… (naughty smile) THANK YOU MAMA GENA for reminding us once again that we need to take care of ourselves and spark that fire for ourselves because no one else knows when we need more fuel better then we……. Taking care of me…. Making time for me…. Refueling myself….. Pleasuring me…… Life revolves around The Princess in this house! I even got a gourmet birthday cake that said “Happy Birthday Princess Tammie” from Stephen…. and since garnet jewlery wasnt pretty enough he bought me a ruby bracelet and I got the matching earrings for valentines day….. more pearls for xmas too…. I AM LOVED and I am so happy!!!!!!!!!! Now I just got to get thru the next 2 months without sex after this surgery…. pray for me sisters….. this one is a hard one…… lol
I LOVE YOU ALL
SG Princess Tammie Awakened Pussy

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Sister Goddess AnuKa February 21, 2014 at 8:20 pm

Hi Mama Gena and Sister Goddesses,

This post was timed almost to the minute that I asked a question of the universe- and it provided the answer, by reminding me that I already knew the answer. Doh.

Debra aka Paradise wrote: “Once you have a clearer idea of what you want, it becomes more difficult to settle for less.” Hell yeah! I love that that’s not just a theory, it’s a completely practical, body-centered experience. And it provides me with reliable guidance.

I’m in the rocky shattering stage now where everything that was my life is collapsing around me, and- I can’t go back! It wasn’t actually my life, and I’m done with gently trying to extract a little good, while being “understanding”. It’s spiritual chirpractic. And it’s sensual and alive…

The erotic that I’m bringing into each of my days now starts with risking being more real, telling and living the truth of my experience. Sometimes it’s the sharp pain of fear, or rush of anger, coming from having to fight for it- which gives me a calm, centered peace afterwards. Some days it’s the clear, clean air of saying what I mean, the shock that I actually can stick to my truth, with love and respect for myself and the other person, no matter what’s leveled against it. The lightness of being real feels like the spring thaw is already here. The sadness of having to say No, with love, but sticking to it… that brings a rich security in my living, feeling body- deeply sensual because I’m fully inhabiting my Self, and thus my day, and thus my life.

It can be terrifying, but the sweetness and kindness of doing my best, from minute to minute, to be real, is so liquid and sensual…. sometimes I’m overwhelmed with appreciation for the internal guidance we have, the ridiculously lush gifts that can come from loss and trauma. Today I got a second intuitive hit that standing up for- or better, relaxing and allowing- the power, growth, love, ambition that is real me, is bringing in higher, better life RIGHT NOW. RIGHT THE F*@K NOW.

I’m laughing, because a song by the S.O.S. Band just came on, “Take Your Time (Do it Right)”, from the ancient days of my kid-hood, disco glam disguising a message of kindness and the big Real.

Mama Gena, I thought you would write a blog post specifically on the phenomenal weekend event in NYC in early February. I was waiting for it, thinking it would be the best place to post a message of thanks to you for that experience. But maybe that’s not in the blog plans! SO- my loving thanks for such a mind-blowing time-out-of-time two days, lush and sexy and headbanging. For your generosity, the beautiful courageous grads who helped me through it, and the fabulous women who danced with me. Thank you Mama Gena, and the Pleasure team. I look forward to my time in Mastery, whether I’m able to conjure it this year, and join the amazing sisters I met that weekend, or next year. There’s still time…. so I drink some sauvignon blanc and sing hiphop and disco karaoke on youtube at the top of my lungs…. I’ll deal w/the neighbors later.

LOVE AND THANKS!!!

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Stephanie Marrone February 24, 2014 at 6:48 am

I want to apologize to all of my SGs and to Regena. This is not the place to take out my anger. SWA has taught me so much and has helped shape me into the woman I am today. I recommend mastery to every woman on the planet. This was a very good piece, one that we could all relate to.

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