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What are you dying to ask me?


We all have them, and I want them.

Your questions.
I want your questions.
The itty bitty to the vast interminable.

I am doing something I have never done before: next week, I am gathering a gang of Sister Goddesses to take on the questions that every woman has, and answer them in a video series, in honor of Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp.

Why? I want you to not only get the answer to your most deeply held question—I want you to see how that situation gets played out in the life of a woman who’s practicing and applying the Womanly Arts in real time, in real life. We all have so much to learn from one another.

So, what kind of questions?

Everything from why your husband won’t have sex with you anymore, to how you can get a great guy to fall in love with you, how to flirt, how to own your beauty, how to party with your inner bitch, how to drop those 10 pounds that keep you hating yourself, to how to stop being your own worst enemy, and on and on and on.

I got you.

It’s your moment, your shot, your opportunity.

Now, give it to me, in the comments section below, so I can give it right back to you.

This won’t happen without you. I can’t wait to give you what you want.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena


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193 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Boy Hopeless Love February 2, 2015, 9:24 pm

    I ask not for your hand in marriage, I don’t ask to share my life with me which has been my dream for so long. I stand just a man before you with a steeled heart and potential with a stern command. I have been tempered by the hardest tests of men. I stand before you with unbreakable will in my spirit and lust in my heart for more time with you. I am haunted in my soul and heart, in my very spirit that something is not right. I fear love has blinded me and am truly lost between loving bliss and devastating heartbreak. I admit my cowardice to find out what truth actually exists for it would crush me not as a human, as a man, as a young man and as the little boy that still is a part of me. I stand before you my immortal beloved to know the truth am I your man or am I one of many that you keep. I stand before you to ask, to beg for my freedom from your enchanting love I have for you. I would lay down my life even damn my soul to save you, yet I know, I feel it in the depths of my heart that you wouldn’t even bat an eyelid for my sake to interrupt your life. This thought is the torture I live from waking moments to forced struggling sleep invading my slumber at night. I want to know was I your man as you were my woman I strive after, dreamed of, longed for, worked and sacrificed for or was I one side of the dice rolled to see which man you would spend your life or next season with… then I beg you let me go, my once Lion’s heart has been beaten enough, I struggle to hang on to life. If I am as you are to me, then don’t worry… nothing can keep us from one another my eternal Love.

  • Paula September 27, 2013, 7:21 pm

    Mama Gena,
    I’m 44 years old and recently divorced (2 1/2 years) after almost 20 years of marriage. I’ve discovered that I’m a very sexual woman and I’m embracing it. I’m finding though, that my appetite is much more than my casual friends are available for. (Pesky jobs and kids) ;)and that leads to me being sexually frustrated. It’s very distracting and I can get a bit grouchy. I should point out that I can take care of business with no problems, but I need to be touched, kissed, and sometimes just plain ole’ fucked! Ultimately, I strongly desire a long term relationship and likely marriage again. What I’m conflicted with is what the hell to do with this sexual frustration when those friends are unavailable. And…I wonder if keeping casual friends sends karmic energy that keeps the man of my dreams away.

  • Claudia September 27, 2013, 2:57 am

    My husband wanted a divorce. I was desperate and decided to give your service a try. I purchased your Stop Our Divorce Love Spell last year. Within 3days, he did an about face. I have to say, I wasn’t really expecting that at all. Dr. Abu, this has made me so happy. I’ll be using your spell casting service all the time. I love the personal attention I get. Even better, I know your spells really work accurately and quickly. Thanks again Ominighospelltemple @ gmail. com

  • Msval August 6, 2013, 10:23 pm

    Dear Mama,

    I am a 35 year old divorcee with no children, an uncertain career, no money and way too much debt. I have a boyfriend I totally adore but who refuses to use the word “love” or “beautiful” when it comes to me or to reassure me verbally that I am special to him. He just took me on a vacation and I got jealous of all the other beautiful women he was looking at and screamed at him after he took me out for a nice dinner. I feel horrible about it and I really need to get over my insecurities.

    I am so ready to just get on with my life and forget the struggles of my past, but no matter what I do, I can’t seem to escape the poor choices I made when I was younger. I can’t seem to get what I want no matter what. I’ve tried so many forms of spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical methods of healing and nothing seems to work. There has been no permanence. I know I am beautiful and smart and talented, but it doesn’t seem to be enough.

    Two years ago, I lost my father to brain cancer and got involved with an abuser who took full out advantage of me, and now, I have been living with my mother who loves me dearly, to pick up the pieces. I had to swallow my pride and ask for help and put myself in a position of depending on someone else. Though I am grateful, this is not what I want and I don’t know how much more I can stand not having what I want.

    I am so confused and can’t help getting this weight off my chest in hopes that you can somehow help.

    How do I deal with past wounds that continue to turn me into a raving lunatic jealous insecure sad bitch who is afraid to love herself? How do I go for what I want when I feel so trapped by a low paying job and burdened by too much student debt? How do I make the man I want love me and move forward with me? How do I move on from the past and start building what I want for my present and future?

    Please help.

  • Ara August 6, 2013, 4:19 pm

    Thanks for this opportunity Mama,
    How do I raise and unschool my 3 children (all under 6yrs right now), be a stay at home Mom, take care of myself, my home and my husband?
    He is very supportive but hates housework + he works outside of the home 40+ hours per week. Family not very supportive of unschooling.
    Can it be done without me feeling resentful, angry and like a pressure cooker most days?

  • Olive August 4, 2013, 11:03 am


    All my life I’ve been committed to one art form – working tirelessly and happily at it for years… that is, until two years ago. I was in heaven every moment I was at work on my art, and getting great reviews to boot. Then, out of no where, my passion left me. It was replaced with fear. FEAR where I had only known confidence and enthusiasm. I started school at one of the top training programs for my art in the US, hoping that my passion would return, but the fear remained and from there I started to hear my mind making excuses not to do the delicious work I had so looked forward to before. Then, when I came to class confused, scared, and underprepared, when my classmates started to out-perform me and in many ways leave me behind, I started to tell myself I was a failure.. that I couldn’t do it! At the end of this past school year – my second year of training – my instructor dropped in my lap an assignment that really lit my fire. I got a glimpse of the passion I had once known, and i devoured the project, with results that stunned everyone who witnessed them. They were stunned because they had no idea I was capable of anything close to what I had done. I tried to convince myself that this was the re-emmergence of my passion…. But, Mama, I’ve started work on other projects since and the sickness still seems to be with me.

    I don’t know what happened that fateful day that I woke up with a piece of my heart missing, but I know that since I’ve been on a downhill slope of self-doubt and misery. I feel like my feet have been cut off. Without my passion I can’t do my work, without my work my light is dimmer and my life is lonely.

    What can I do to find my passion again? I feel the longing inside me, I know the hunger for my art remains … just buried under two years now of insecurity and self-doubt, fear and shame. And confusion! What do i need to do to find her?

    Thank you for your help, and for everything you do!

    SG Olive

    • Jan August 5, 2013, 11:08 am

      Have you tried Julia Cameron’s THE ARTISTS WAY ? I’ve found it to be SUPER powerful when combined with Mama Gena’s teachings. All my love to you, sister Goddess!

  • Jan August 3, 2013, 11:53 pm

    Mama Gena,
    I am a beautiful, fantastic woman. I have be following your teachings for years, but have recently been struggling with image self esteem. (I never forget how awesome I am as a person. ) Unless I am standing in front of a mirror (where I SEE how beautiful I am ) I tend to forget that I am DROP DEAD BEAUTIFUL. How can I train myself to always REMEMBER that I am so beautiful? Thank you so much for being a role model and a beacon! You. Have been a beautiful influence on my fabulous life.

  • Simin Vaswani August 3, 2013, 2:21 pm

    What do you do when you are stuck in the negative and you can’t even say yes to your negative. Or you are the kind of woman who has done everything by herself and finds it very hard to reach out to another woman for support. So you are stuck with the negative and you can’t even seek the positive.

    SG Simin

  • DeeDee August 1, 2013, 3:18 pm

    I feel stuck and stagnate. I am 42, single and childless. I have fears of engaging in anything that is unknown and I don’t have a group of willing and able sister goddess’s to drag me out and along. At the top of my Bucket List is the Mastery Program! How do I start to move forward?

    • Kat August 2, 2013, 7:36 am

      Take Mastery. No, really. DO IT.

      • DeeDee August 5, 2013, 1:09 am

        Thanks, Kat. I am trying to figure out a way to do it.

  • Miapapaya August 1, 2013, 1:52 pm

    Thank-you Mama Gena for opening up this forum, it sure helps to know we’re in this together.
    I just turned 45 and feel as though I am barren sexually. I am married to a man who is very loving, however he has little sexual desire and is ill most of the time.
    Between his health issues, my mother’s issues of having next to nothing and virtually no relationships except for me, then my youngest daughter, who is 18, beautiful and talented, yet has very little social ability, I feel trapped as the person who is somehow supposed to be the one to find the solution for all their problems.
    I feel most responsible for my daughter and am willing to do whatever I can to help her, but there isn’t really that much I can do…she needs a job and they are tough to come by around here, although we try and try.
    What I feel like I need is an outlet, and I feel like the outlet is physical, sexy and sexual. I am bisexual and always have been and yes, I desire intimacy with another woman.
    It has been quite a few years since I have experienced this and if my husband was more genuinely concerned with the sexual part of our marriage, I might be able to stave off my true desires. Since he isn’t interested in meeting my sexual needs, I’m finding myself more and more actually UNattracted to him, although I love him.
    I feel like I’m going to waste down there. She’s a gem, but I no longer enjoy pleasing myself. I want to kiss, to pull, to tickle, to roll around…to connect intimately. I think having that will empower me to be more capable in handling the issues of my family members…something to revive me. But I’m scared of hurting people and ultimately hurting myself even more.

  • Kelly Higgins July 29, 2013, 10:45 pm

    Mama Gena

    I was told by a man I have feelings for that he’s just not in the place to be in a relationship with me. We have not had sex. I just said sure we can be friends. He says that th foundation to a good relationship is friends. He said we can still cuddle. Anyways, I actually said yes thinking this was okay. Now I just don’t think so.

    I realize I would want more with this man. I would want to date him or have hopes to date him.

    My question is I have a DVD of his ” singles” he let me borrow and he has my sunglasses. Anyways he texted me saying he had a great time the other night and thanked me for understanding where he is at right now. Mentioned a boat ride around portland. Mama, we both know when he meets another lady friendship goes out the door.

    So to stay in my power how do I tell him that I’m grateful for this experience but that ultimately I would hope for more with hi. So I can’t do the friendship thing. If his position changes and he wants to date with the thought he could be open to a potential relationship with me to reach out Andre the timing is right it could work. I want to do your rule of finding him right yet I also want to stay in my power and let him go. If I stay friends ill be wondering when ill hear from him and one day he may stop contact altogether. I’d rather have him when he’s ready if its mine by divine right. So how do I o this? And am I right on or should I be friends and wait it out knowing ill have that hope that he may choose me one day and cuddle from time to time?

    Thank you

    SG Honey Blossom

    • Kelly Higgins July 29, 2013, 10:48 pm

      Also I would want to have passionate sex with him. We have touched one another and he gives me orgasms like I’ve never experienced before and we have lust for one another but no oral or sex. He actually turned me down. At first said it was too soon. It’s like he said he was looking to fall in love then he just changed it. So sad about it and just need clarity. I seem o always accept what they are willing to give me. In this case crumbs. I want to o it in person too when the timing is right.

      • Kelly Higgins July 30, 2013, 5:34 am

        Or do I choose to just let it go and the maybe In a few months when I’m ready I can get together and get my sunglasses back. I’m not sure I really want to see this man right now. He is not into me and being friends I think will be hard when I have an attraction for him. I’m confused. I feel like I was me and I was open to him and then he shut the door on me and now is leaving it a little open with crumbs for me to take but not be into it full throttle. So he’s new to the area and wants friends until that right girl he feels the chemistry comes along and it’s not me for whatever reason. He has a lot of women that are friends too. This kinda bugged me. Not sure why. I thought I was suppose to trust all women as we are a community yet I don’t feel this way at least in this situation.

        I’d just like to know how to handle this sort of situation. I even showed tears in front of him and he felt flattered. So I guess I boosted a mans ego and he now wants to keep it going as “friends”.

        Feeling discouraged.

        SG Honey Blossom

  • Kalyani July 29, 2013, 2:16 pm

    Dear Mama Gena,
    I am so grateful for you and the SWA, thank you ! I am so looking forward to BootCamp !
    My question is: How does one stay focused on the good
    in one’s life and moving higher? I notice I have an old habit of doubting the good opportunites and abundance that come into my life, as if all the good is just a mirror trick in a funhouse. By living this way, I miss ALOT of wonderfulness and I am ready to Stop and join the fantastic Parade that is my life.
    Thanks Mama Gena,

  • SG Cay July 29, 2013, 1:57 am

    Ok, so I have herpes. I finally love my body and enjoy sex and now I have to deal with this! What can you tell me about trying to date with this? Last guy I dated I explained it to him and though we continued the relationship it had kind of freaked him out and I never felt great about my body with him.

  • Livi July 27, 2013, 7:03 am

    I am a mother of three, a divorcee of a 10 year marriage, personal trainer, yoga instructor, Pilates reformer apprentice. As a yoga instructor, I teach nude yoga to both men and women. I feel that it is a beautiful and enlightening experience to do yoga in the nude. Anyway, I teach nude yoga under a different name and model with another different name because prior to my marriage ending my ex husband told individuals about my nude modeling that he encouraged me at first to do and then he turned it after our separation and told my family and friends that I was participating in prostitution for money. Which is an out right LIE. Anyway, my fear is those lies will taunt my business going forward. How can I continue to touch people’s lives without my reputation being distorted again. I love what I do and I help a lot o people but I just feel my business is staggering because I need to hide behind an alias. Please help.

  • Paige July 23, 2013, 10:26 pm

    Hello Mama Gena:
    Thank you for being YOU!! I totally appreciate you!
    Just one question: When are you bringing your amazing energy to southern California?
    What do you need to make this happen?
    A venue? Several venues?
    A place to stay?
    A team of sister goddesses to set it up for you?
    Southern California wants you!
    Thank you so much for having the guts to be yourself!
    You rock!!!

  • Sister Goddess Faith Phoenix July 23, 2013, 7:42 pm

    Mama Gena,

    What a pleasure to have the opportunity to ask you questions! I deeply appreciate it. My question is: how can I know what I truly want? I have so many conflicting desires that seem to come and go. One minute, I want to work in the U.S. Senate, and the next minute, I want to open a smoothie stand in Key West. One minute, I want to date lots of men, and the next, I’m drawn to motherhood and apple pie. Most of all, I desire to have a sense of purpose and direction and a partner to make some of these decisions and choices with me. Apart from that, I’m not set on only one path.

    Thank you for taking our questions, Mama Gena. You are an inspiration!

    Oceans of Love,

    SG Faith Phoenix

  • Kitty July 23, 2013, 7:24 pm

    I have a couple of questions:

    1. You say it’s so good to be feminine and advise women how to get in touch with their feminine side…but is it so bad if I’m not feminine? I mean, every time I try to be feminine I feel like I’m totally faking it. I don’t think being unfeminine is a bad thing at all, but then I keep hearing things that imply that I’m totally doing it wrong if I’m not feminine. So do you think being unfeminine is so terrible to everything?

    2. Regarding masturbation: I have tried it, and I get bored very easily when I’m doing it. I can fantasize with the best of them, but when I actually try touching myself, I get really bored and want to do something more fun. Is that such a bad thing? Is it okay if one doesn’t really enjoy masturbation?

    • Jan August 5, 2013, 11:21 am

      Doesn’t being FEMALE mean that the things you do BECOME feminine, just because you do them?

  • Miranda July 23, 2013, 4:02 pm

    Hello Mama, I just go the career opportunity of my life, the teacher I admire the most recommended me to work with her and some other people I’ve admire for a long time. .. and I blew it… big time. My nervousness was palpable and I bombed.
    How do I continue to pursue my dream after I failed so publicly? I feel I’ve lost my drive, and I had a ton.

    • Paige July 23, 2013, 10:22 pm

      Can you ask for a second audience with the folks you wanted to work with?
      Can you, candidly, let them know what happened, and just plain ask for another shot?
      Never say die!

  • Lisa July 23, 2013, 12:07 pm

    I want to know how can I get back into using the Womanly arts tools and being in a great space and really indulge in my pleasure if I don’t have any SG to use them with?

  • Dawn July 23, 2013, 2:10 am

    Dear Mama Gena,
    I want to start a business that helps women with sexual issues. I am in upstate NY and my massage business is been hampered with the nerve damage in my hands. I am 59 years old and I support myself. I have visited a lot of sites and stores that are in this particular business in one way or the other. I always read your website, blogs, and have listened to you in webinars. I am wondering if you have any advice for me? Thank you Mama Gena!

  • p July 22, 2013, 11:08 pm

    What are the causes and consequences of Deferment of Desire … when practiced long enough…. is it a hobbling like japanese feet? Permanent damage? Or is there a remedy? Anorexia or fear? Or dysthemia? Goddess Mother must be put aside in favor of Goddess Goddess…. intelelctural spiritual more than genital.

  • Jessica July 21, 2013, 1:09 pm

    Hello Mama Gena,
    I have a tendency not to want sex with the partner I’m with after about 6 months. It’s awful because it’s not that I need encouragement and then I get into it. It almost repels me to have sex with the person I love.

    I know why this happens and where it stems from. In a nutshell, I can do both sex and intimacy separately very well. But when I put them together it’s too much. I get very scared so the ‘easiest’ thing to do is to withdraw the sex.
    What can i do about it? It’s very distressing. I am single at the moment but I am committed to a fulfilled and fulfilling sexual life with my future partner.

    Thank you in advance

  • SG Cappi July 20, 2013, 10:02 am

    Why do i always project the best onto my guy and fail to see who he really is? It is like i ignore, dont see at all, the “bad”… And it gets me to a place that i am not being treated well, or valued in the way I know I should be. I want love and intimacy so bad that i project my desires but end up more like settling because i have not seen the reality of the relationship.

  • Silverheels July 20, 2013, 8:03 am

    Dear Mama,

    How do I let go of procrastination in both my work and home lives? In general, how do I make the change to better self care overall?

    Thank you,
    SG Silverheels

    • Jan August 5, 2013, 11:29 am

      Have yoj tried a sticker chart?

  • SG Sam July 19, 2013, 1:30 pm

    What do you do when you run into a wall?

    Not literally, obviously.

    Recently, I’ve been feeling like there’s nothing I want to have or do. Nothing looks appealing or sounds appealing or tastes appealing. It’s all just bland or annoying or just plain undesirable. And I don’t know how to get away from the wall and onto the path of pleasure.

  • Melissa in Astoria July 19, 2013, 12:36 pm

    Mama Gena,

    Your books have opened my eyes and made me feel ~normal~ in my female skin! I’ve been dealing with a lot of intense anger and disappointment. I’m in the second year of dating a man I love dearly (we are both ~40). He has a 21 yr old daughter from a one-night stand in high school. His life has been defined by trying to make it right with and for his daughter, and I admit, I had a lot of jealousy issues in the beginning.

    She moved in with us in our NYC apt against my wishes, and it’s been nothing but downhill. I didnt’ think our relationship was ready – she had no where else left to go. They had a plan for her to make money and travel, and then she didn’t want to travel and now it’s open ended stay. She only buys her food – doesn’t pay any bills. I tried to deal with it, I tried to be a mother figure and create a “family”. I tried to do what my mother did with me. But when she rejected me in that role (and her ~real~ mom, the lady who raised her, is always being super kissy with her), it caused to shut down and hate. Boyfriend and I have gone to counseling, it’s only helped a little. I feel jealous of their connection – almost like he has a girlfriend. It’s CRAZY, right?! Bc I’m 20 years her senior. But I give away all my power and I’m tired of it.

    Now I am moving out of the apartment to create the space needed for growth. It pisses me off that I’m moving. He says I don’t love him if I dont’ love his daughter, but I harbor so much anger and blame for this “wedge” I feel she has created in our relationship. And for the decisions he’s made to put her first. Or perhaps this is just a story I want to believe. 🙁 I am committed to letting it go. I would love to marry this man if it’s in the stars, and his daughter would be a permanent part of my future. I’m just very angry, confused, and too proud to give up my position on it. I dont’ know how to “make things right”, bc I haven’t talked to her in 2 months, and she lives 2 rooms down the hall.

    How do I let go? How do I overcome my jealousy and resentment of her? She’s beautiful, kind, and compassionate. She has had little upbringing and guidance and a HS diploma. I have 3 degrees and have traveled the world. Yet I fall victim and cry like a child, and am hypercritical with her every move. I blame it all on her, but it could not all be her fault. I don’t have kids or a pet, and I’m very disappointed on how I’ve handled everything with his grown daughter. Pls help.

  • Cindy July 19, 2013, 12:23 am

    Ok, you find your beauty (took me awhile, I had an eating disorder for twenty years along with some abusive relationships), you learn what you love, you find there are men out there that really are worth your time, your body, your trust. You learn what you like in the bedroom, even if, at first, you thought it may be fringe behavior. Bottom line? You are willing to fly your own flag. Now, I seem to have found the man of my dreams. He is more than everything I have ever wanted. We live long distance, so we see one another about ever 6-8 weeks. In the interim, I play, flirt, test boundaries. I like the new freedom, yet I sincerely hope he commits because I cannot imagine life without him. Have I lost my mind???

  • Jessica July 18, 2013, 2:36 pm

    Mama, I’m having trouble with follow through and distractions. Sometimes, I have to get lost to get found, but it’s hard (if not impossible) to get lost without having some sort of income to support myself on. I’m young (27, that’s still counts as young, right?!) and I want to explore, be free. I’m bursting at the seams in this office. I am imagining mountains to climb, and hikes, and cities to drown in the art, and the wine and the men! I want to talk to people, find out what makes them tick, what makes them love, and feel loved. But it’s hard to find yourself when you have to make an income. I’ve done it the opposite. I strung jobs together for 2 years, to try to follow my heart desires. I think I was blocking the finances. How do I unblock myself from MYSELF, listen to my heart, then follow it?

  • Jbird July 18, 2013, 12:14 pm

    Mama, I would love your insight on maintaining pleasure and one’s inner Goddess when in a relationship with someone who struggles with predictable cycles of depression and treats the symptoms with alcohol and pot. Life is rosy for a week or two and then turns very grey for the 5-6 days his depression kicks in. I feel like I’m riding a roller coaster and am ready to mix up this ride!

  • susan July 17, 2013, 9:44 pm

    Great questions! I have created a very good life within the constraints that I seem to always attract/create. My only desire in life was to be a wife and mother. Old fashioned I know but i couldn’t imagine anything else. Homeschooling, natural medicine, home cooked everything….the whole package. At 49, due to bad man choices and health….no man and no children. I fall into the nice, understanding, flexible woman category who has no problem attracting men and have married two but no true partner. The men always want to stay friends or when another man comes sniffing around they get possessive but still want their freedom. How do I stay positive??….after struggling with health issues since birth….therefore financial constraints and work restrictions…still wanting a partner….won’t be a mom….have ‘t had a garden or house….hardly travelled….no big desires fulfilled. I have been happy but i can feel the 50th birthday coming and hope for the fulfillment of my desires slipping away.

  • SG Susan July 17, 2013, 8:09 pm

    Dear Mama,
    Thank you for asking this Q! My burning question is about desire vs. motivation vs. ability. I desire to be at a healthier lower weight, and be able to fit in all of my small clothes. I currently have time, a beautiful gym, and no reason that I can’t work out and get myself into shape. I have the desire and all of the necessary tools. So WHY can’t I get moving? Am I lazy? Is it that I don’t really desire this? Is it that the last time I worked out my motivation was to get in shape to get pregnant. That motivation is now gone. What is missing? What am I not seeing? Thank you thank you thank you for any insight you have into this gap between desire and action! Warmly, SG Susan

  • Ally July 17, 2013, 5:20 pm

    Dear Mama Gena,

    Is it wrong that my desire and wish is to NOT HAVE TO WORK? I just want to have fun, and ride horses, and travel, and read, and party, and shop, and do nice things for my friends! Are those valid wishes? As a soon to be divorced woman with no other means than my job (for which I am grateful!) I don’t see how I’ll be able to get there, and I’m not even sure it that is a valid thing to wish for…

  • SG Hot and Happy July 17, 2013, 5:15 pm

    Wow, these questions are incredible. I don’t know how you’ll cover it all in an hour! But I’m still going to ask for mine.

    I love my husband and don’t feel sexually attracted to him. I did when we first met, but he had sexual issues and there was all this tension and I lost the feeling for him. He suggested that I take other lovers and I did for awhile, all with his knowledge and blessing, but it became too much for me emotionally. After a number of years of him being my only partner, we both aren’t sure we’re right for each other because we aren’t satisfied sexually, despite our very tender love for each other. I’m not sure I’m that interested in sex any more – no desire to go pole dancing, don’t really feel it for other men. Maybe it’s time for another woman. Anything to wake my pussy up again. So here are my 2 questions:
    1. How can I find myself right about wanting the amount of sex that I want, however little? If I’m finding my pussy wrong about what she wants, doesn’t that get in the way of her reclaiming her lust? Or not reclaiming her lust, if that’s what she truly wants.
    2. Is it a sign that the marriage isn’t right that I don’t feel hot for my husband, or is this normal, or at least very common? That’s what a therapist told us. If it’s just one of the things that often happens, how do I wake my pussy up? I’ve read on the boards women saying they were dead and now alive, pussy-wise. I’ve had a huge shift from Mastery, but my sweet pussy is still not eager and lusty.
    3. He doesn’t work me up the way I want. I liked it when he used the feather. I’m never ready when he wants to go for my hot zones. He can’t get enough of me and I keep wanting him to back off. Have I just been lazy and not practiced my own sensual exploration enough to know exactly what I love and teach him? Could that be the whole solution? Or is there a real problem because I don’t crave him?

    Thank you so much. I hope you’re enjoying these questions. Can’t wait for the call tonight!

  • A July 17, 2013, 2:40 pm

    How do I stop beating myself up? How do I stop the inner judge, bitch, meanie etc? How can I stop sabotaging being loved and doing what I want?

  • Laura July 17, 2013, 1:10 pm

    Hi Regena,
    I’m interested in what you’d have to say on this subject. I know it can be challenging and require real effort and determination to practice the Arts with any real oomph and stamina in the best of times; you say it many times in your books that pleasure takes commitment. How do you think the Arts and Tools can be applied and made useful in times of true personal crisis, like what I’m experiencing right now, an ongoing family health crisis? It’s easy to just imagine that the tools were meant for sunnier times and dismiss them as frivolous or not-enough when the ^#$%^& hits the fan, but I know you and others close to you have weathered hard times, and I’m curious about your perspective on this.
    Thanks and gratitude always,
    SG Laura

  • Maria July 17, 2013, 12:07 pm

    My Mom died in December,2013, my husband told me three months later that he hasn’t loved me for at least two years and wants a divorce. Lo and behold he has been having an affair for more than a year. And I just lost my job in a merger.
    Feeling very vulnerable and need help to get out of the grief and panic I am in.


    • Paige July 23, 2013, 10:13 pm

      My heart goes out to you. Wow. You are a powerful woman to be able to reach out for some help. Sending you a big, strong, long, deep hug of unconditional love. Hang in there.
      Though you may not be able to see it or feel it now, it looks to me like the Universe is opening some grand, huge doors for you to expand through.

      P.S. If your husband pursues a divorce, you may wish to ask a good, close friend to stand by you when you meet with your own attorney. Said another way, your friend will be able to support you in standing up for yourself, while you may feel like just going home and curling up in your cozy bed. Be aware that your deep grief (shock and anger, even) may cloud your vision through what can be the most important financial transaction in your life.

      My loving thoughts are with you.

  • Joyce Raby July 17, 2013, 11:55 am

    How do I combine gratitude with wanting more? I love my life and regularly thank the universe for everything I have. But I want more, but then I often find myself feeling ungrateful when I want more than what I already have. How can I find the right balance/perspective/place between loving everything that is, and yet being open to and moving toward everything that can be?

  • Samantha July 17, 2013, 11:25 am

    Mama Gena,

    I need to know how to stop attracting losers and attract an amazing man who is on my level. I usually date way below me, partially because I just want to get out of the house, but also these are the men that come into contact. I am an amazing, dynamic woman. I want to meet men of the same caliber. Thank you!

  • melanie July 17, 2013, 9:58 am

    Hi mama gena,
    I would love to know how a sister goddess can be sure that she needs to divorce her husband And if she is sure that she needs to get a divorce, what steps she needs to take before she initiates the divorce with her husband (being prepared with knowledge (financially etc), before she tells her husband) And remain a Sister Goddess in all her brillance!

  • single mama July 17, 2013, 12:12 am

    Dear Mama G.
    I have thinking about doing the course and feel all delicious about it but talked myself out of it last week because I just rented an office for the first time for my new business, I tutor my kid with learning disabilities, I’m a Girl Scout leader, my crazy ex-husband is about to take me to court again… I dated one fellow since my divorce and that was a disaster, I was last on his list and just got out of it in a very positive move for myself.

    Long story short, I feel I’m too busy to take on one more thing…On the other hand, how can I put this on the back burner…again…?? My goal is to get this business in good enough shape I could do Mastery next year…How can I make that happen!!??

    • SG Luscious Lisa July 17, 2013, 2:25 am

      Dear Mama Gena,

      I would love to hear examples of partying with your inner bitch, such a delicious side of ourselves and yet SO underutilized!


  • Carolyn July 16, 2013, 11:21 pm

    Dear Mama G-
    I have a question, If you have been through a lot of rough times: divorce, financial crisis, hurricane sandy victim etc. what is the best way to help yourself find the sense of entitlement that gives you the feeling that you deserve all the great things that life might have to offer you? Where do you find that source of energy that others who have not had to endure great pain have just by waking up in the morning?
    With live and respect-

  • Adrienne July 16, 2013, 10:43 pm

    Thanks for asking, Mama!

    My partner of almost 3 years (and the father of my son) is carrying around heavy emotional baggage from his childhood. We are in counseling together and he’s had a handful of individual sessions as well and seems to be making a small amount of progress on one of his issues, which is a hypersensitivity to stress.

    Meanwhile I’ve been carrying the emotional and financial burden of our family for 2 years, stuck in a job that is entirely boring and draining and pushing my partner out of his rut and into counseling. He is slowly getting better and will be back in school full-time in the fall. My needs are not being met at all and I am so tired. The constant stress has me grumpy and short-tempered even with my adorable, easy-going toddler. My creativity and passion are stifled and it is killing me. I want to quit my job and work from home, but my partner is too terrified of the unknown and instability to agree to that, or really even to consider it.

    My partner’s big problem is fear and he is working on it and I believe he can overcome it and become a much happier, fully alive, healthy person. We had lots of good times together before the surprise pregnancy and still do have good times when we are not both overwhelmed by stress. I still have faith in good times for us in the future, especially now that I see some small positive steps coming from the counseling, but I know it will take him a long time to heal from his childhood issues.

    How can I help him get outside of himself and his problems long enough to pay attention to me and show his care and love and passion for me/our relationship? How can I get my needs met while he is healing himself? I am not afraid to ask him, but even when I can tell that he’s heard and understood me, he still won’t act.


  • Paulette Erskine July 16, 2013, 10:16 pm

    Had a hysterectomy years ago and loss my sex drive, my marriage is suffering,how do I get my sex drive back?

  • Leelee July 16, 2013, 10:03 pm

    Hi Mama Gena — How do I honor my goddess through heartbreak? In the last month my boyfriend of 2.5 years (my first big love) and I broke up and my grandfather passed. I feel so far from the pleasure of mastery and want to go back. How do I get through loss and find me again?

  • Megan July 16, 2013, 9:30 pm

    How do you stay positive and motivated if something you want is taking longer than expected to obtain?

  • Brynn July 16, 2013, 9:21 pm

    Hi Mama Gena!
    I have recently discovered your book from a SG friend of mine, and am looking forward to someday taking your class!!! I have an unexpected problem and do not know how to deal with it. As I am taking stock of my many desires, especially sexual desires, I keep finding that I desire my (female) friend. I have been having many sexual thoughts about her and I’m not sure why!!! I have been married (to a man) for 20 years…though this marriage has not been fulfilling for a while…and this friend is significantly younger than me, and has the body, personality, and life I have always envied. What do I do!

  • Mary Liz July 16, 2013, 9:13 pm

    Hello Mamma… I have been reading your books and workingn with your ideas since I first say you on Conan many many years ago. Thank you… you have turned my life around in so many ways and help me make it so much better. Thank you for all you do for so many women. I just have one desire that has eluded me. Ever since I was very small, a horse of my own has been a dream. It seems to be the one thing I have not been able to date to manifest. Any direction on how to bring this to me, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Mamma. Mary Liz

  • Veronica July 16, 2013, 8:57 pm

    Yes!!! I’d like to know how I can put pleasure back into making and eating food!!, I am currently becoming a vegetarian and I am finding that the pleasure aspect is not really that present as much as I want it to be partly because of the not being fully vegetarian and partly because I have to wash dishes, what can I do to put pleasure back into my meals?

    • Veronica July 16, 2013, 8:59 pm

      I do listen to music and podcasts while washing dishes and I dance but it doesn’t feel like I’m getting anywhere as the kitchen is constantly dirty

      • Jan August 12, 2013, 1:05 am

        Hi! I might have some ideas that could help you, please email me if you would like to hear my thoughts!

  • tamara July 16, 2013, 8:16 pm

    How do you fall in love with your vulva if you have Lichen Sclerosis (google it!)? It does atrophy women’s genitals, and make them really uncomfortable. I now have really asymmetrical internal labia, which hurt regularly, and don’t feel I’m as gorgeous down there as I used to be, and am grieving that. I still get pleasure, lots of it if I wish 😉 – that’s fine, but really feeling totally and utterly drowing in love from that place is challenging at this moment. I feel like this is an unspoken subject – it’s a non-contagious disease that usually affects post-menopausal women (which I’m not!) Tips?

  • Bonnie July 16, 2013, 8:15 pm

    Hi there! I am working hard at the womanly arts…however I am struggling with the fact that no matter what I do, my husband does not appreciate me, and is frankly quite mean. When this happens I fall back into my old habits of self loathing and doubt. I am thinking about leaving him…but not sure…help me!!!!! I can’t live like this any more!

    • Norma Lange July 20, 2013, 9:07 am

      I left my husband who ignored me and made me feel like crap and it was the best decision of my life! I have since moved back to the U.S., had my own apartment, found good work, travelled and enjoyed life. BUT… most importantly I met, am courted & treated like a Queen by a real man!
      Go for it! Don’t look back!

      • Paige July 23, 2013, 10:01 pm

        Ditto to Norma’s reply to Bonnie’s post:
        Set yourself free!
        There’s a whole wild world out here!
        What have you got to lose, except “self-loathing and doubt!”
        What are you waiting for?
        Go for it!

  • Norma Lange July 16, 2013, 7:43 pm

    Why, why, why — even though I am extremely happy with my husband who, unlike my ex, gives me everything I want and need and treats me like a Goddess– do I obsess about his ex?

  • Sarah July 16, 2013, 6:23 pm

    I’m 23 and my relationship of 6 years is coming to an end. How do I be me again? I need fun…. Help me!

    Lotsa love x

  • Lilithe July 16, 2013, 6:18 pm

    Hey there, Mama Gena! Love your stuff! I have one very large question that I come up against with ALL of these types of programs – they are geared toward people who already have a good modicum of physical ability. There are many of us doing our best to pull ourselves out of chronic illness by focusing on our joy and pleasure and bliss and going for it even in the face of VERY difficult odds, that many women you are working with do not deal with. Could you please address this? I am sure there are more women like me out there who would love to have your wit and wisdom geared toward our particular realities. Thank you!

  • Wende Jowsey July 16, 2013, 6:12 pm

    Hi Mama,
    I’m 55 and hot. I’ve looked at my own life choices, and the lives of women I work with in women’s groups for years. I’ve starting writing a book to look at why do the vast majority of us still appear to struggle with true self- R-E-S-P-E-C-T? –I want to examine whether or not 3 generations of women in the women’s empowerment business since the sixties has made a difference? I’m convinced this goes far deeper than economics, social status, race. ect.

    So my questions are- what do you think, and would you like to be included as one of the interviews in the book? I’d be honored of course.

    • Jan August 12, 2013, 12:59 am

      I would love to hear more about your project! (I love hearing brags !) Please consider emailing me more info at Positive reinforcement, lavish praise, and generally supportive cheering available upon request!

  • Barbara July 16, 2013, 6:05 pm

    Why can’t I move on from a man who treated me in a very vile and disrespectful manner, even though I have found a man who absolutely spoils me?

  • Andie July 16, 2013, 5:22 pm

    I have another one! Given the very real risk of violence that women face whenever they make themselves vulnerable, (you know, by leaving their house alone or going on a date with someone they haven’t done an FBI background check on) where’s a safe space to flirt? I live in a city where I, literally, never feel safe. I’ve been followed from a metro station to my office by a teenager who threatened to rape me. I’ve been chased down a street at night by an intoxicated stranger, and I’ve had another guy grab my bare arm in a metro station. I even had a security guard in my building think it’s appropriate to compliment my “pretty eyes” when I was working late at night –alone. Since I never feel safe, I try to make myself as inconspicuous as possible and keep my head down –not exactly the conditions under which one feels juicy and attractive.

    • CO July 20, 2013, 6:34 pm

      Yes, I like this question because sometimes attracting all the attention that you do as a fully alive juicy sister goddess can be scary in the wrong situations (on the subway late at night or walking down an empty street, etc.)

  • emezzo July 16, 2013, 5:08 pm

    Dear mg,
    So glad you asked. I think what i need is to attend one of your retreats. A dear friend just graduated from your mastery program last month. Very interested in how she has grown. I am a classical singer who just found a benefactor and am a little nervous how to go about accepting and enjoying his generosity. Advice? I know in some way this id definately your area. Warmly, erin

  • Clari July 16, 2013, 5:00 pm

    I want passion, excitement, and most of all unconditional love for myself? How do I move forward in life and let go of my past.

  • 4Winds July 16, 2013, 4:59 pm

    Thanks for this opportunity! When I was at your Intro Day I wanted to ask you – where in NYC do women go dancing? I mean, suburban woman who need to catch a train by 1am (and even that is late for me). Most clubs don’t even open until 11pm, and I’d rather be heading home around then. And to have the dance place with men in my age range.

    Also, how does one feel “juicy” when going through periodic “flooding” in the menopause time (the time before periods stop…when they last 3 weeks, partly due to fibroids). I’m exhausted and don’t feel up to being fun, even if I feel sexually interested.

  • StChienne July 16, 2013, 4:55 pm

    I’ve gained weight, can’t stand what I see in the mirror and none of my clothes fit. Talk about self-hatred! I’m at the gym four days a week and eating like a monk which will hopefully work in the long run. How do I survive mentally in the meantime???

  • SG Robyne July 16, 2013, 4:28 pm

    Mama Gena,
    With the last several years replete with divorce, job loss and sickness, my life is filled with chaos, dread and an overwhelming need to just let it be. When I wake up each morning and read the daily fluff, I desire a life of magnificence, splendidness and succulence. I want my life to be dazzling…but how? How do I really make it happen? Can I really make it happen?

  • tasha July 16, 2013, 4:12 pm

    How I can make my husband (separated after 20 years) to help financially (to pay for private doctor visits) to our daughter, who is very ill (she lives with me and I am practically her carer; she got ill with serious depression& related illnesses, because of him, abandoning us). He is saying, he can’t decide, because he need to consult his women in his life (another, who took him from me….)
    So upsetting….
    we are still not divorced even yet….
    So humiliating
    and somewhat cruel
    and I don’t want to do anything with him anymore…
    But at the same time, if that woman using her “power” quite successfully in my husbands finances (he pays nothing to me and our daughter), how I can do the same for the sake of our daughter????
    or I just need a lawyer?…………..

    • Paige July 23, 2013, 9:54 pm

      I suggest that you contact a licensed family law attorney in your state.
      You can find an attorney through your County’s bar association, e.g. Lincoln County Bar Association. The local bar association may have its own lawyer referral service. Or, go to your state’s bar web page – from this page, you will, likely, find links to local lawyer referral services.
      Tell the folks at the lawyer referral service that you need a family law attorney. You may pay $35, or so, for a referral to an attorney. You may, then, be able to speak with the attorney for 30 minutes or so regarding your situation. If you are not comfortable with the first attorney, ask for another referral.

      You are still married. Your husband may be legally responsible for some of your daughter’s expenses.
      Best wishes to you.

  • Nicole Emmanuelle July 16, 2013, 4:05 pm

    Dear Mama,

    Thank you for the opportunity to present this very difficult problem that keeps my stomach tied in KNOTS!
    Last year, I was involved in a “no strings attached” very kinky, sexual friendship with a guy 15 years younger than me when I became pregnant. From prior conversations, I knew he didn’t want any children and he knew that although I was already a struggling single mom, I was not open to terminating any pregnancies. The last time I spoke with him was when I told him I had a positive home pregnancy test and would be going to the doctor to confirm. I haven’t heard from him since and my beautiful baby boy is now 7 months old.
    I did try to contact him when I was in my 2nd trimester and a couple times after the baby was born; however the phone number and email I had for him are either not working or has me blocked. I knew he was planning to move back to his hometown after getting out of the military and have found address information for a couple of his family members there.
    The real problem is I can’t decide what to do now and I’ve been trying to sort out my feelings before going forward with any action. I don’t know if I’m more angry, hurt, embarrassed, sad, or frustrated over this situation. A part of me feels like he’s young and starting out and deserves a free pass. That part of me feels guilty because I know he didn’t want a child but I chose to go ahead with the pregnancy! Another part of me feels he should be forced to take responsibility for the life he created. That’s the part of me that is angry, stressed, and broke! The embarrassed, and sad parts of me are stuck and indecisive.
    So Mama, I can’t decide what to do. Should I leave him alone and take full responsibility for my child? Should I try to contact him discreetly through his family to let him know for sure he has a child and see what he does? Should I just go after him for child support through court? The whole mess is sordid and I feel very confused and conflicted about it as you can see. One thing is for certain, I love my baby and am so glad he’s here!
    I look forward to any advice.

  • Kel July 16, 2013, 3:59 pm

    How do I feel more like a woman? Most of the time I still feel like a little girl, especially when it comes to sex. And I’m 30.

  • Bianca July 16, 2013, 3:34 pm

    How do I get rid of the million thoughts that run through my head everyday? Many are negative thoughts about myself.

    • Jan August 12, 2013, 12:50 am

      Take a pen and a notebook in a quiet spot. Turn a negative thought into a positive affirmation and write it on the top of the page. Your brain will supply a long list of arguments in response to the positive affirmation. Write them all down, until you run out of things to say. Rewrite the same positive affirmation, and repeat the process until you BELIEVE the affirmation OR until you can write it without provoking an internal response. This can be a time consuming process, but ‘work ‘ with a pen and paper has a powerful impact.

  • Laura July 16, 2013, 3:25 pm

    Do you think there is one thing in common that men love & admire most in women or is that just all over the place and totally an individual thing for each man.

  • Tara July 16, 2013, 2:57 pm

    Thank you Mama Gena for giving all of us this opportunity! My 2 questions are:
    1. How does a timid person initiate flirting with her boyfriend?
    2. How do we overcome the fear of rejection and initiate intimacy with our significant other?

    Than you so much!!

  • Hannah Klay July 16, 2013, 2:42 pm

    Hi Mama Gena,

    I love you!
    This website will provide a framework for my questions on the female pelvis. This women is a women’s health physical therapist. I am in D.C. and she is in Portland. I would love to have an appt with her but in the meantime:
    1. Could you please incorporate into your teachings about connecting to our pelvis?
    2. The anatomy of the pelvis and the mind-body connection of the pelvis
    3. Understanding the pelvic muscles, the anatomy, why they are tight.
    4. I have had many broken bones and accidents, and have discovered deep connections with my pelvis – particularly how I feel about my pelvis, how I hold and position my pelvis, in my pelvis feels dense and heavy.
    5. How to lighten my pelvis? Free my pelvis? Embrace my pelvis? First lesson I received in Alexander Technique class was to the use ‘my’. MY PELVIS. 🙂
    6. How to be confident when setting up my energetic home in my pelvis?
    7. Tips on how to LISTEN to my pelvis? Body truth is truth, and I believe women have an intuitive knowing, if we just know how to listen to our pelvis.

    Thank you Mama Gena! Love your photo.

    With Grace,
    Hannah Klay

  • Jackie July 16, 2013, 2:27 pm

    How can I use tools like Tantra to attract a soulmate? Other than go on dates how can I use it as an energy to maximize my odds of creating lasting attraction with the man I am on the date with.

  • mela July 16, 2013, 2:20 pm

    Oh to the pleasure of living deeply in touch with the devine….how can I make this near constant?

  • Laurie July 16, 2013, 2:03 pm

    How do I feel like I deserve what I really want? I know logically I do, but I would like to feel it in my heart.

  • Sandy July 16, 2013, 1:51 pm

    My question should have read like this ,,,,,,

    How and WHERE does a middle aged woman make to make friends when her job isn’t an option, she doesn’t belong to a church and she lives in a small city without any social options?

  • angel b July 16, 2013, 1:43 pm

    Thank you for the opportunity to hear the voice of so many amazing women!

    I want to ask how to honor all the beautiful people I am fortunate enough to cross paths with on this life journey.

    B e well. Take care of yourself!

  • Molly July 16, 2013, 1:38 pm

    I am a 62 year old woman, meditator, healer, singer, goddess, looking for a healthy man after divorcing from a 20 year relationship.

  • Molly July 16, 2013, 1:37 pm

    What advice to you have for me in finding a new partner? I am 62, and divorced after 18 year marriage to the love of my life. We have tried getting back together 3 times in the past 5 years, but it really cannot work for us. I am very discouraged after dating some for these past 5 years. So many unhealthy men – addicts, poor self esteem, broke, etc. It is so hard to find a healthy man that I am interested in being with. I am in therapy to resolve my “men issues”, and have done so much work on myself over the years. I meditate, am a healer, musician, a strong and together women with some health issues that slow me down. I am very open sexually, but that expression does not exist for me at this time in my life.

  • Sandy July 16, 2013, 1:35 pm

    How and WHERE does a middle aged woman make when her job isn’t an option, she doesn’t belong to a church and she lives in a small city without any social options?

    • Paige July 23, 2013, 9:41 pm

      I’m guessing your question is about making FRIENDS?
      If so, I was in a similar situation, recently: feeling isolated. I started thinking about when I had had friends in my life before. School, work, clubs… When I connected the dots, for me, it noticed that I made friends when I hooked up with the same group of people on a regular basis, right? My new friends at school, whom I met up with twice a week for a term; my new friends at work whom I interacted with every day… You get the picture.
      What are you interested in doing, or learning? Could you join a gardening club? Church could be a possibility – look around for the belief “framework” with which you most closely align – and give it a try!!
      Also check out the website “meetup” for possible groups to join – or start your own!
      Your new friends are waiting to meet you!

  • Sara July 16, 2013, 1:23 pm

    Thank you ever so much for asking Mama Gena!

    Before my daughter’s recent vaginal birth and since my husband and I began residing together just over two years ago I found myself getting hurt or even resentful when a weekend or two would go by and my husband would not show interest in initiating sex, and so often I would initiate. We have a strong relationship and are in total love with each other. His family does not express love largely through physical affection but rather through acts of service which he does to the nth degree and has asked me to be patient with him and encourage him. He works very hard and often long hours in an often stressful environment and has expressed that his libido has been affected by this, though we always did have great sex when it happened.

    In recent years my libido has been more of a heart centered sensation than lower chakra centered- I wonder, could this be a factor in the dynamics of our physical relationship? Since childbirth I now feel more polarized to my upper chakras. Before the birth I would have asked how To invite my husband to WANT to engage in a giving sexual relationship and perhaps more often? My approach in the past has been to give what you want to receive and communicate in conversation from time to time. I certainly do not mean to leave my husband’s body out of this but since the birth I also have been wondering how the both of us can enjoy my body more, and how could that unfold in a natural, happening way instead of due to a problem-solving, thinking process which I find futile?

    Thank You for reading Mama Gena and Sister Goddesses!

    • rc July 23, 2013, 1:54 pm

      Wow I second this, different circumstances as we dont have children but it feels like he has such little interest in our sex life-I have to ask for it in the morning so we can do it in the eve, never spontaneous and getting less and less. I feel like a failure and just want to protect myself from how much this hurts me.

  • Kelli July 16, 2013, 1:21 pm

    I would love to hear how Sister Goddess navigate the emotional rollercoaster of a relationship ending. I find it so difficult to allow the full spectrum of the Goddess, I either do the desire, or the grief and hopelessness, I want to embody all of it~

  • Vasi July 16, 2013, 1:15 pm

    How do I develop unconditional self-confidence? Confidence that isn’t swayed by how much I weigh or if my hair is frizzy or if my life feels totally chaotic and overwhelming? How can I believe I’m beautiful and capable, no matter what? That’s what I want to know.

    Thanks, Mama G and SGs!

  • Sophia July 16, 2013, 1:00 pm

    Dear Mama Gena,

    How do you gracefully deal with disrespectful catcalling?

    Thank you and much love.

    • Hannah Klay July 16, 2013, 2:45 pm

      I second that question!

    • CO July 20, 2013, 6:05 pm

      Third! ha, ha

  • SG Pu-rekini Alison July 16, 2013, 12:48 pm

    Mama, darling. You have a lot of homework. Thank you for this amazing offer. I look forward to reading your replies to the juicy questions already put forth.
    In Oneness and Love,
    SG PKA

  • Kelly July 16, 2013, 12:44 pm

    Hey, I’d love tips on how to get my mojo back after recently having a baby. My sexiness has well and trully left the building due to the exhaustion, the fact that my vagina looks/feels foreign, my tits have turned into a milk bar (and are way too sensitive to be touched), I’m too busy to do my hair most days let alone anything else and my husband and my attention is almost 100% focused on our gorgeous baby. I adore being a mother and feel totally blessed but I don’t want to lose my sexual side.

  • karen July 16, 2013, 12:26 pm

    Hello MaMa

    Thank you for this opportunity. I have read 2 of your books and highlighted what I want ti read over and over.

    My Question: How do I get beyond thinking all this is not possible for me because I feel foolish and that I would be a total outsider if I were to attend your class????

    Thank You!

  • Erica July 16, 2013, 12:24 pm

    just reading all these questions is inspiring.
    here’s mine:
    What steps can you take to fall in love with your own power,? after a lifetime of feeling guilty every time you exercise it for being selfish.

    • West Coast Girl July 17, 2013, 4:19 pm

      I’m in love with your question!

  • EM July 16, 2013, 12:22 pm

    I need to give more dynamism to my sexual life (i have a boyfriend). Our sexual chemistry is veeery good, but sometimes it gets a bit “repetitive”…Besides this, he lasts a lot, so sometimes I find myself feeling weird and “waiting” for him to “end”, I dont want to be mean, but I could get bored…

    Can you give me some tips for activating myself or adding dynamism to my sex life? I dont want to get bored :-S
    Thanx!!! lots of love

  • SG Megan Lawrence July 16, 2013, 12:10 pm

    Mama G,

    I have been undergoing a complete health overhaul the last six months to eradicate a chronic battle with systemic candidiasis and parasites. After years of trying everything I could think of, I think I’m finally getting the help I need (and documenting my experience on film as a way to channel my creativity and hopefully help others!), but as I clean out my body, my emotions are all over the place. I don’t feel well a lot of the time, and my world around me is continually in upheaval. I’ve had to put my acting career on hold. In a matter of 3 months I lost my job, my beloved cat and grandfather died, my dad almost died, I got pushed out of my home, and my relationship of 2 years almost ended–Sounds like the perfect material for a country song or a comedy sketch. Because of the detox, I can’t wear make up, earrings, or perfume; sex and self pleasuring is very tricky and sometimes not possible; I’ve lost at least 10 pounds or more (I’m teeny tiny to begin with) and I don’t feel very feminine. Its hard to dance break when you don’t have the energy. How do I stay centered and in my pleasure while I’m going through this long tough journey back to balanced health? How can I create an environment of serenity and fun for both myself and my loved ones while I’m feeling like shit? I’m handling it like a warrior princess and I’m putting one foot in front of the other, but I’d like to take this shit sandwich I’ve been handed and turn it into a fabulous gourmet meal.

  • Mary July 16, 2013, 11:56 am

    Thank you- here’s a few I’ve heard my friends talking about and me thinking about……

    How do you handle growing older as a woman when you’re starting to feel invisible but are still young and pretty?
    How do you seize your power in being a woman when you’ve been treated like a girl your whole life?
    How do you handle aging gracefully?
    How do you make yourself feel more sexy?

  • Jill Fromelius July 16, 2013, 11:43 am

    Hi Mama. Love you btw!!! I woke up this morning with the knowing, “I serve no man!” I see how religion and our society has enslaved women and I have lived it. How do we own and worship the Goddess and have a man in our life that “sees” us and honors us? I have never had the kind of relationship I now want. I have never wanted to be subservient to a man but no other role model was shown to me. When I rebelled, I was made to feel bad or wrong or even sort of punished for being who I am. I see how this is a huge plague to our society and the world. And I honor you for the champion of women and Goddess that you are. I honor the work that you do and are doing to help empower women to know the truth and their truth. May you be richly blessed in all good things. Love, Jill

  • Cherry July 16, 2013, 11:39 am

    Hi Mama Gena.

    I wait someone i love. He is soldier 2 years ago i wait him. I don’t know why he not come back to me? But he know i wait and love him always. My friend tell me he love me but i’m not sure. Last year he had a little bit connection with me but this year he had connection with me more than last year, valentine this year he call tango to me i’m very glad. Mama Gena some time i’m have feel confuse i know he live alone and i know he like to check my facebook when he have time, but i don’t know why he not comeback to me ? i want him and i love him so much


  • SG Lois July 16, 2013, 11:33 am

    I am a long time followerer of Mama Gena, and am so happy to have this opportunity to ask a question. My partner of 5 years recently had a massive stroke. He is 58 and I am a young 65. He is in a nursing home at the moment and most likely will be there for the rest of his life, as he can do nothing for himself. Needless to say our relationship has changed drastically since this happened. On my part there is no longer any sexual attraction or passionate feelings for him. I still care for him, and feel obligated to go to the nursing home each day and visit him, but at the same time I feel that my life should go on. I am having a difficult time figuring out how to continue to live a full productive enjoyable life on my own, but at the same time not abandoning him. How can I discover pleasure again under these circumstances?

  • Jennifer July 16, 2013, 11:32 am

    I noticed a pattern in myself – I meet a man, we become emotionally close and sometimes physically close. The relationship is very intimate but it’s a friendship or a fling, never a committed relationship. The man learns learns a lot from me, about intimacy and communication. I bask in his attention and affections, the close bond we form. Then invariably he goes on to date/marry someone else, who is usually a lot like me! It’s like I get them ready to go out and have a relationship with someone else. What brings these men to me, why do they go on to be with someone else, and how can I attract someone who wants ME, not just my wisdom?

    • Kat August 2, 2013, 7:29 am

      Sounds like you are an amazing courtesan!

  • Melanie Isis July 16, 2013, 11:31 am

    Thank-you very much by the way. xo

  • Susan July 16, 2013, 11:28 am

    Hi Mama Gena,

    This question is coming all the way from a – rarely – hot and sunny London, England!

    My question for you and the Sister Goddesses is, how do you stop the plague of self doubt stopping you from taking that leap into the unknown in all matters? I thought I’d licked it, but it seems like a default setting that has got hold of me again and I now feel sort of stuck. I’ve just graduated into my 30’s and would love to leave that voice behind as I’ve been aware of it (loudly) since I was about 7 years old. I feel like it’s holding me back from being all of me! Does that make sense?!

    I love what you’re doing – it often makes me laugh and cry in equal measures!

    With much love and gratitude,

  • Melanie Isis July 16, 2013, 11:26 am

    I’m feeling confused. 7 months ago I started a relationship with a man and we fell in love. , I was appreciative, loving, I have always been a pretty independent person, so I don’t suffer from neediness. Sex with off the charts, he told me he loved me, wanted to support me, and that he had never grown so much in all of his previous relationships combined, but he left me. He told me I was in his head too much when I was away from him, and this caused him anxiety so we couldn’t get his work done, he is an artist, musician. I filled my own tank with pleasure, I didn’t need him, we communicated all the time, we were transparent. When he broke up with he told me he always runs from relationships, and I deserved better. Which makes me cringe. I followed my heart and my gut on this one, and I can not figure out where I went off track. I am so sick of analyzing what went wrong, but it has left me feeling cautious. My heart is still open, but I’m scared.
    My question is when everything feels right, and I am taking care of myself and trusting myself, and feeling empowered and in ownership of my pleasure, how can I understand what the hell happened? And now I feel sad. I’m ok. But really, sad.

  • Kate July 16, 2013, 11:26 am

    Dear mama gena, I am 35 and have never had a long term relationship. I would love one and have been living my life as fully as possible and fulfilling my desires. Generally I don’t let not having a guy get me down. Occasionally it does though and I feel like the girl who is destined to never have guy. I’ve tried Internet dating but it leaves me feeling a little negative, I feel as though I’m selling myself!
    I’ve tried to live as though I love being single but don’t meet many guys for it to have an effect. I feel like I should try to create rather than wait for one to walk through the door! What do you think I should do?
    Thank you for reading

    • ellie July 29, 2013, 12:28 pm

      Hey Kate,

      I’m 34 and in a pretty similar situation to you! Mama, if you can answer this one we would be so grateful! i have a good job, my hobbies are an important part of my life and i have GREAT friends and social life….. but a long term relationship would be the icing on the cake!!

      Kate, long may our fab lives keep us happy and that great guy will appear! xx

  • SG Dar July 16, 2013, 11:22 am


    How timely! I was out of practice in the womanly arts and have recently gone back to the beginning to give myself a refresher. My bestie, SG Hels and I brag every single day to each other now. I’m not perfect and undoing 35 years of body hatred is taking time. I’m single but that is ok too. What I’d love to have you clarify is bringing pleasure to things we dislike. I have a job that is acceptable, well within my skillsets but bores me witless. I have flowers, pictures, delicious coffee in a mug I made for myself (just to make work prettier), I’ve asked but been denied working from home 2 days a week. I’m out of ideas on how to be a positive force and find joy in something that is so soul draining. It’s a negative and unsettled environment with my coworkers and it is a low part of my 24 hrs. I want to live joyfully in all my 24 hrs, not just the ones on either side of the 9 hours in the workplace. Lippy and heels aren’t cutting it, I need the big guns!

  • oni aningo July 16, 2013, 11:16 am

    I have been with my partner for over a year now, we are inlove, and we speak about marriage and rings and wedding all the time. But he hasn’t proposed yet. He claims hat he wants to propose with a ring, then he says we will have tobuy the ring together, as he knows I am quite specific with my taste. How can he propose ASAP?

    • Kat July 16, 2013, 7:51 pm

      My dad proposed with a cashiers check… Just a thought. 😉

    • Justine August 13, 2013, 11:43 am

      Is a ring that important to get right away for you? Have you heard of ceremonial rings? Some couples propose with one ring but then design the perfect ring for themselves later some time as long as its before the wedding of course. More importantly is he the right man for you or will he dump you at the first sign of trouble? One Year is really not that long, get to know him better…. he has to pass some tests before you know for sure.

      • Hopeless Love February 4, 2015, 1:29 am

        When you seek to collect men’s hearts to adore you, you will find them, but yours will be empty. When you desire the true love of one man, your man… love finds you, he fights to find you through droves he will find you.

  • Eri July 16, 2013, 11:14 am

    Hi, Mama Gena.
    I’m Sister Goddess from Japan. Sorry for my poor English.
    Last year, my mother had a terrible disease. She was saved somehow.
    I went back to the distant home for her care immediately. Long-term care of one year, it became much better. Because of illness of the brain, she is still emotionally unstable and her memory is confused. She needs the care of me.
    However, I have a boyfriend. It’s long-distance love. He is still waiting for me to return for him. I love my mother, and I also love him so much.
    What can I do in this situation? What do you think about long-distance love?
    Thanks for reading. You are my goddess, Mama. Thank you.

  • Sonia July 16, 2013, 11:12 am

    I feel bad, I went out with one man, i thought I did the pleasure thing, then left him and met someone else. Now I get a call back from the first one and in fact lots of my previous ex’s. I do not know what to do next?

    All this choice yet its all a bit blah. I need help Mama to move my energies in a bit place.

    To be honest I never expected to attract so many men and so I tried to let go of the ones who were not floating my boat. I am wondering what I can do. I am still getting used to all this male attention. My girlfriends were always the ones with tons of men after them. i was the fat dumpy one, now is changed and I feel scared. My girlfriends are quite angry with me at times and get frustrated with me. They tell me to make a choice.

    I am scared that I will become a fat dump again I am putting weight back on. Mama please please help.

  • kyia July 16, 2013, 11:07 am

    I suppose i do show off a bit when they complain and say someone will like me if they don’t and i giggle and run off. But it feels not nice having to always train them to be nice. Mama help please

  • kyia July 16, 2013, 11:04 am

    men seem to love to be with me and then get mean to me. They seem to want to possess me and get jealous when I am out and about. I do try to let them know I am into them and yes I am friendly but I don’t cheat when I am with a man. in fact I never have. I am wondering what vibes I am giving off why they think I am off doing stuff with other men when it does not even enter my mind.

    then how do I encourage a man to be nice to me and see that it is to his benefit. its almost like they do not want to because they feel like I will get something and they will not. I do pleasure myself which they seem to like but I ave not quit got the hang of the other part. They want reassurance which I am happy to give but act like it does not bother them. how do i help us b helping me to resolve this thing that is going on for me.

    One said he does not like to tell me nice things because I will get big headed, the other that i might leave. There is something that i am doing that is making them have a dig at me and tell me that my life is so wonderful what about them. Please help. I do really love my boyfriend. I adore him and try to dumb myself down so I do not shine too much. I have even put on weight but he complains. What do I do? I need Mama’s gudiance

  • A friend with benefits! July 16, 2013, 11:04 am

    Somehow I became a friend with benefits to a man that I think is awesome. He has always been straight with me that he isn’t available for dating due to having an 8 yr. old but he asks me out every 2 months or so for dinner, drinks and great sex.
    I have been open to dating other men but I must not be going to the right places because that hasn’t been easy.
    How can I get over this desire to have more with my friend with benefits without losing him as a friend? HELP!
    Sending love to ya, Mama.

  • KT July 16, 2013, 11:03 am

    Before I think about a relationship, how do I get to feeling fabulous about myself? Dead end job, kids grown, stuck at a weight I’m not happy with. Nothing in my life terrible and “friends” tell me I should be 1) Glad I have any job in this economy 2) That’s the way life is, we don’t always get what we want…How about ever? Do I ever get what I want? I worked to raise my kids, put myself through college because I was told that’s what I would need to get promotions (didn’t work) while holding down a full time job and managing a rental property and all the work that goes with that. People tell me I’m strong, have a “big personality”, I’ve accomplished so much, etc… but I feel like I’m idling, stalling out, I can’t seem to dare myself to really reach for the big dreams. I’ll be 55 on my next birthday and feel like…is that it? Am I out of gas? I can’t seem to find the energy/strength to do more than get through the days and all the usual day to day things living seems to require. Make the coffee, walk the dogs, go to work, come home, walk the dogs, make dinner, wash the dishes. Weekends, yard work, housework, maybe a book to read, a dinner with family. Some people would kill for my life. No real dramas. No man who makes me feel bad about myself (he’s fifteen years back down the road, unloaded his sorry butt, but can’t seem to find the interest to look for another), no real tragedies. It’s not a BAD life, I just want more. Why can’t I find the energy to go for more?

    • CO July 20, 2013, 4:32 pm

      Oh gosh, I’m only 33 but I feel the same way! I really relate to what you said.

      That’s what I’m wondering too. I also think, is this all there is? and if not why can’t I find the energy to go for more?

      I’m very healthy and active but when it comes to drive or energy towards creating a more fulfilling life or future I just seem to run out of steam.

  • Priscilla July 16, 2013, 11:03 am

    I am a 58 year old woman and am having challenges being clear with men in dating. I have good boundaries and let them know that the process is one of getting to know each other and then making a decision about whether to move forward or not based on what is learned and whether there is the potential of creating a beautiful life together. This to me is what we need to be doing in an mature way. But, I find men get attached and angry when I cut off the dating process because I believe that there is not enough good things to go forward
    ( like financial stability, sexuality etc). I know this is an emotional process but I believe I have a responsibility to myself to find the best possible life partner to move forward with… sometimes you don’t know right away. How can I be clearer with these men so that they get this is the process for me and for all really caring about seeking out a winner for both parties?


  • Alice July 16, 2013, 11:01 am

    Dear Mama,

    I’m 45 and my boyfriend is about 9 years younger. We’ve been seeing each other for about a year and a half. Although he kept saying that he loved me, he was conflicted about our relationship for a long time. I couldn’t understand why and he refused to adequately explain. A few months ago he had an affair with a younger woman. I broke it off with him after I found out. He felt horrible about it as, of course, I did, too. He begged to come back to me saying that he made a big mistake and realized that I am the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He still says that he loves me and loves being together. Turns out that his conflict was over having children and thought he should see someone younger to have his kids when he’s ready. I had no idea. I mentioned that I wanted kids earlier in the relationship but, it was most likely too soon to bring it up.

    Now we are back together. I’m still not sure how to trust him after this. Kids come up in discussion but we haven’t really sat down to figure it all out. Despite the pain of his affair, I do love him. But, am I making a mistake in going back? I’m lucky, I look young for my age and am in very good shape. He and I have so much in common and a special connection that’s not easy to let go of. How do I keep up my confidence in this kind of situation?

    Thanks, Mama. I need you!

  • sally July 16, 2013, 10:57 am

    i left my boyfriend of 2 years. We were happy for ages, then he began to say he suspected I was cheating. I was not. I kept on saying i had not. He said he was not sure why i was with him. he got more miserable and nasty. I tried to do the pleasure thing and be happy but he just began to distance himself and hung out with his mates.

    I let it go and finished it and then we met up yesterday . I explained why, that i was just giving him what he wanted. He said he misses me and that I did everything a girl friend should do and what do I want. I told him I adored him and miss him too but was no longer sure about him. I said nothing after that. He then said he does not want to bring me down and feels like he is drifiting and would like to know that he can fix up and come back.he said that i was a stable point in his life. I asked then why were you so nasty at times. he said he was irriated with himself. I do not know what to do

  • SG LOTUS July 16, 2013, 10:57 am

    Dear Mama Gena!

    Thanks for the opportunity!
    My question is after thinking I would never attract/find a man for me, I have and will be committing to each other soon officially. I love him and like to enjoy the pleasure of Sexual with him. However, when I am tired and my partner wants to make love, I find that those times when I feel really tired, Ms. P will just not be there. After some foreplay she sometimes will get back in herself and I enjoy it. However, several times she isn’t up to it.
    a) What to do when a partner wants to have sex/make love more (times) than myself: I mean several days in a week?
    b) How best to tell a partner that perhaps we can try for another time when I am not as tired, with out making him feel like rejection?
    c) What are other ways we can share intimacy without it always being or ending in having sex?
    d) In mastery I know we used the feather to show this, however how to man-train a man to love this and use it as another tool for intimacy?
    e) Any other queen goddess words/advise around this topic that you could please share?

    Thanks for your work!

    Trully SG Lotus (Raquel)

  • Andie July 16, 2013, 10:52 am

    How do I open up to the men who want to be in a relationship with me instead of fixating on the ones who aren’t interested? I often find myself being super-critical of reasonable men who show interest in me and not flirting with them. How can I allow men the space to woo me instead of rushing to judgment and shutting them down?

    Thank you!

    • SG LOTUS July 16, 2013, 10:59 am

      Surrendering to what is would be a good start SG. This is what I used and it helped me drop the judgments, and push yourself out of your comfort zone, while also ‘dropping that list of things of how the man should be, look like, do…etc’. This worked for me SG. To wishing you to find yours too goddess!

      • Andie July 16, 2013, 1:32 pm

        I feel like “surrendering to what is” would require very heavy sedation. So the best I have to look forward to is enough wine so that I don’t want to wretch when I see my lover naked?

  • Jules July 16, 2013, 10:50 am

    dear Mama Gena!
    Thank you for this opportunity!! I have been married for almost 30 years — and am soooo restless. I am 55 — with a great career and am in great shape and love life!! I have been in therapy for the past year for me which did wonders! I was able to see the patterns of how I was with my husband, who is a nice guy but also a narcissist and who can be verbally abusive…And how codependent I have been.

    I have been to the edge of divorce many times in the past few years but I am scared. Things are “okay” — my husband and I are friendly — yet I do not feel that sizzle for him; I don’t see him as my lover…and i have wanted to. It’s like we are siblings, not hot…. When do you know when to say enough? It seems so daunting! There are so many factors involved — family, money, house, etc… I would love to hear your take on divorce/separation. What mindset does a sister goddess need to see her through something as big? Or not?

    Thank you!!!!

    • Redhead December 10, 2013, 12:03 pm

      Jules – we are kindred spirits. I am 50 and married 25 years to a basically nice guy who is narcisstic, insecure, anxiety driven, and immature. We have been in counseling for 1.5 years and he has altered his behavior but the does not seem able to understand what I’ve been through and how hard it is for me to feel good about him. He is on Prozac which doesn’t seem to do that much. The counselor has told me privately that is it unlikely that he will ever really be able to empathize with me. He is broken. I need to make a decision about whether I can live in this relationship. I have been in individual therapy for a year and that has been helpful for me to see other ways to deal and to change my behavior but I don’t think she truly understands what has gone on with him. I have the same question or concern that you stated. I’ve read the School of Womanly Arts book and trying to train him seems like a long shot and I am so so exhausted at trying to make this relationship work for me. What does a Sister Goddess do in this situation?? Help??

  • Chris July 16, 2013, 10:38 am

    Dear Mama,

    I have been wondering for a long time how do deal with all the women around me who are not goddesses and mean, and still remain a goddess myself?

    • Skye July 16, 2013, 8:49 pm

      Dear Chris,
      One thing I have been working on as I have this issue too is seeing each and every person, living thing (plants, animals etc) as all vessels of God. If we can see HIM in them we will be able to develop empathy and understanding for people who formally we might have been tempted to judge. When we compare ourselves to others we will always come out either better than or less than and neither of those are healthy places to be.

      • SG Katty August 2, 2013, 7:34 am

        SG Skye has great insight. EVERY one (every woman) has a drop of divinity in her, even if it is deeply buried beneath bitch-ness. With empathy, we use different vision and can see that divinity within the person, and can connect with it and fan it. We also can detach emotionally from the outcome of those interactions–however they treat me back is a reflection of them, not of me.

  • Marie July 16, 2013, 10:35 am

    Dear Mama Gena,
    I would love to know how to maintain the mindset to be fabulous every day! Resist discouragement. Keep the inner lightbulb lit and shining brightly.
    Thank you.

  • Racheetah July 16, 2013, 10:18 am

    Mama Gena,
    I just turned 44, never married. I’ve been buried last few months finishing novel for kids, about to send to agent. Great thing, yes! But I feel SO disconnected from dating, men, my sexuality. Beneath that–great disappointment at the type of men who write me on the internet (15-20 yrs older, or my age and not attractive, fit and doing self-care like me). I think under my creative project that’s wrapping up in next couple weeks, I totally come from scarcity, not trusting that I’ll meet a match for me–someone who I will find really attractive, overlaps with my values and interests, vital, handsome, closer to my age, hot. The internet seems to be a huge beauty contest I won’t win. And just offer crumbs that are stale, old, leftovers no one else wanted and not tasty to me.
    Help! How can I set myself up to really draw to me and meet an AMAZING life partner? I’m bummed out this part of my life has not happened by now. My discouraged, scarcity mindset is not helping I know!
    You rock, Mama Gena, and I value your wisdom.

  • Kini July 16, 2013, 10:14 am

    Thank you for the opportunity!
    I have two questions:
    1. My boyfriend broke up with me and our beautiful relationship suddenly, it was 6 months ago and I can’t get over of him, I tried many different things and still thinking about him. How can I forget him forever?
    2. How come a single woman in her 40’s find a motivation for wake up early, exercise and enjoy her life.

    Thank you very much!


  • Rosy July 16, 2013, 10:14 am

    I am still waiting for what my husband can’t give me. Honor respect that is not wrapped up in guilt,or with hidden agenda and approval seeking behavior. It has been 18 years of destructive conditional based relationship which began as an arranged marriage. There is no trust, he sponsored many of his family members from India without my consent and responded by saying “we are not on the same page and if I told you I am afraid you would wreck it”. Meaning I would find a way to prevent him from sponsoring family of origin members from India who have expectation to sponge off of us. This is a family who came from poverty and used me to get into Canada. I feel like I am not living, I am just existing for my children who are now 16 and 15. The two children I am proud of and myself for our cohesive unconditional love. Without it we would be lost.
    I am not certain what my question is for you, I am sharing to gain sisterhood and like minded souls who I walk the same path with different challenges.

  • SG VIP Jeyan July 16, 2013, 10:08 am

    Since I came back from my 12 days in France… I haven’t been able to drop the 5 lbs…but I seem to have good weeks and not so good weeks — the funny thing about it is that I really seem to connect it to the weight gain… – I don’t know if I am hiding behind the weight because when I am losing weight I seem to be in control and in my power.. I know that I want to get down to 160 for running to help the knees…but I seem to be fighting myself … is this because I am afraid of being successful… or being successful in my private personal relationships… – how do I overcome and get myself to stay on the good track in improving all the things that I want to get done and be successful

    • Jan August 4, 2013, 12:14 am

      Have you tried spring cleaning on paper, yet ?

  • Marsh July 16, 2013, 10:04 am

    I have been dating a 58 year old man off and on for over a year. Every time we get closer, he pulls away and needs a break. He says he is afraid of change, and of being a step dad, of a committed relationship. He had a very brief second marriage that seems to have scared him…Is there any hope that he will get past this or should I say goodby. Other than this, our relationship is great, we connect emotionally, physically, same value, beleifs, we have a wonderful time to gether and then he just panics.. Help…

  • Mona July 16, 2013, 10:00 am

    I have these men in my life who are generous with me, they take me on vacations, give me money, one gave me a car, clothes, they wine and dine me. They are not my boyfriends. I have a man in my life who is my boyfriend and I love him….I cannot ask him for what I want. How can I change that?

  • SG Birgit aka RedChilli July 16, 2013, 9:51 am

    How do I deal with this kind of resistance that is like a big concrete wall with a BIG sign saying behind this wall is nothing hidden of any interest. But somehow I can smell like a scent creeping through a crack that here is something really important.
    How to deal with having so many big desires that I have a hard time admitting them to my self and then sharing them with others and then go for them with having no clue how and not the bucks ?

    Thank you Regena

  • Laura Jacobs July 16, 2013, 9:49 am

    Thanks again for being the Unique woman you are

    It has been 2 years since my last relationship and after Mastery I crave another I am 62 and do not see many alive men who want a relationship What do I do in the meantime.
    Self pleasure doesn’t seem enough

  • D July 16, 2013, 9:46 am

    How do I continue to feel Sexy and Delicious even when everything around me is going wrong/falling apart.

    Thank you!

    • Rosy July 16, 2013, 10:16 am

      You are sexy, you are delicious, what is around you is an illusion the feelings of love inside your beating heart are real. Accept what is and find yourself surrounded by strength and wisdom. You have all that you seek



      • Hedonia July 16, 2013, 7:39 pm

        Thank you Rosy. What you said will hold me over until Mama answers all these incredible questions… “You have all that you seek….”

        Happy! Thank you! More please!

        With love and appreciation.
        In pleasure,
        SG Hedonia

      • D July 29, 2013, 12:41 pm

        Thank you Rosy!

        I agree with you. Feels so hard to remember this though, even if it is only an illusion.

  • Jane McIver July 16, 2013, 9:45 am

    My husband and I are building a cottage and he has decided on the design, picked the colours, the flooring, the cabinets…etc. He doesn’t really care what I want and what my tastes are. This is maddening and yet I’m held hostage. We have teenage children to attend to and so many other more important responsibilities than this stupid cottage. However, our every waking moment is consumed with it, he talks about it socially, he uses this as an attention-seeking topic and any small focus that might have been on me, is taken away from me. I feel invisible and friends who I once spent time with, don’t want to be with me because he is so indifferent. Crazy world for sure!!! No matter what we have or acquire, some people are just not ever happy.

    • Paige July 23, 2013, 9:08 pm

      Dear Jane:
      You are always free to choose how you want to feel, where you want to live, what you want to do, with whom you want to spend your time.
      You are a free agent. You get to free yourself.
      I freed myself from a similar situation. It took me awhile. But I did it.
      I am worth freedom.
      And so are you!!
      Imagine how wonderful it could be to get out of that relationship!!!
      Listen to your self-talk when you read this post.
      Are you holding yourself hostage?
      Love yourself right out of there!!!

  • Deona July 16, 2013, 9:36 am

    How do I become happy and comfortable in my own skin? I am short, chubby and dark, while I always wanted to be tall, elegantly slender and fair…for 51 years I have been the total antithesis of beauty, in my own eyes. I want to stop that – how?

  • Barbara Mayfield July 16, 2013, 9:35 am

    I keep hearing that attracting a fabulous life partner (a male) has nothing to do with my weight. I know I am beautiful, but am carrying around 25-30 extra pounds, and although some flirting is happening, nothing else. My experience has been that the men go after the skinny women; when I’ve been thinner, the guys come round. With extra fat, no action, little attention. SO:
    Is 62 too late to find a love?
    Is being 25 lbs overweight the enormous block to love/dating/marriage it seems to be?

    • Lisa Katzoff July 16, 2013, 1:16 pm

      HI there gorgeous! Had to jump in on this one.
      I am a mastery grad and also a virtual pleasure bootcamp grad and I’m known as SG LisaK ROCKSTAR!
      I know people who found the love of theior life at ages even older than 62, so I know its not too late for you. And as to your qs about the weight issue, well, guys come around when you are in love with your self and happy and sparkling in your own true divine personality. So your block is only in what you want to put out there and plenty of men like their women with some meat on them or some junk in the trunk and some even prefer women with juicy round voluptouous bodies. I even know of somevery desirable millionaires who like their women plenty plump. Fat or thin, love yourself whatever shape you are in. However, I will definitely say that when your body is in motion more ( exercising, eating delicious nutritious foods and getting out there more) you will probably feel better and sparkle even more and have more energy thus making you feel more attractive, so get out there and dance! Remember, its all related to how you feel. Take pleasure in yourself everyday. And if only flirting is going on then you need to make your intentions a little clearer! Best fo luck and love to you sister!

      • Lisa Katzoff July 16, 2013, 1:24 pm

        Whooops- I just realized Mama Gena wanted us to ask questions not awnser them so I hope at least that I am on the right track with my comments. Anyway, hello everyone and I’ll try to think of some of my own qs for Mama Gena.

        • SG Katty August 2, 2013, 7:26 am

          SG Lisa, Im sure mama appreciates the leadership and great advice!

    • Pam July 17, 2013, 9:05 am

      Barbara, thank you for this question. I am also 20-25 pounds overweight, and just turned 50. My dilemma is that I feel like “the fat old lady” … on the outside. Inside I’m still 30 and digging life and full of life and have a TON to offer. How do I meld my visions of my inner and outer selves – and how do I allow that to shine in a way that attracts men?

  • Skye July 16, 2013, 9:34 am

    My question has not been posted yet so here I go! I feel good about me and about my relationship – I ask and receive what I need/want MOST of the time. It has taken alot of work but can be summed up that in that I am learning to live in the NOW and accept and be grateful for what my life IS. My issue is this has not yet permeated my work life. I know it usually starts there and makes it’s way into the personal but for me it’s been the reverse. I’m still too timid and hurt by rejection when I have to approach people in my job. How do I let my freedom to be ME infiltrate my professional life?

  • Anna July 16, 2013, 9:23 am

    I want to feel confidant asking for what I want! Even exploring my daily desires for life is difficult. I don’t think it should be.
    I started trying to ask for what I want intimately with my partner the other night, but couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Why is it so hard?!?
    How come when I become a mother, I no longer could alow myself to be a sexual being?
    Not like it was easy before children, but there was alot less body shame, shame in wanting.
    Ahh! it’s almost maddening how rediculous this feeling is!

    Thank you so much,

  • Tatiana July 16, 2013, 9:22 am

    I have a question. I’ve been dating and now live with a guy that I thought was great. He used to serve me breakfast and do all kinds of sweet things for me. Everything changed when it came to sexuality. He doesn’t like when I masturbate, thinks I should only orgasm through intercourse, and now when I want him/am in a good mood he tries to talk about sad things and argue (though I don’t give in). I thought guys want us to be happy?

  • Lisa July 16, 2013, 9:20 am

    How can I stop thinking about Food and start thinking about Sex?

  • Sarah G July 16, 2013, 9:19 am

    Thanks for doing this, Mama! I have a preteen and I worry so much about she already struggles with self-love and self-value vs getting her value from boys and friends in spite of being super deliberate about setting good self-love as a key part of how I parent. How do we, as SG Moms, best reach our daughters the Mama Gena principles from a young age to protect our girls from the way the culture will try to tear them down? How do we create a bunch of mini-SGs?

    • Jenica Deer-Cerda July 16, 2013, 11:52 am

      I passionately second this question! I don’t have preteens yet…my girls are small, but I think about this all of the time! Thank you!

      • Hil July 16, 2013, 1:18 pm

        I do too. Even as a four year old, I want my daughter to start loving her body just as it is, and listening to her inner voice. How do we keep that intuition strong, as she starts dating and enters middle school social craziness?

        • Fairy Princess Genevieve July 18, 2013, 6:29 am

          I fourth this question! I don’t have children yet, but wonder how in the world I will be able to teach my daughter(s) one day to be confident women and embrace everything about themselves.

    • shelby July 16, 2013, 5:12 pm

      I started my 8 YO off with the book Beautiful Girl by Christiane Northrup…I think it was a recommendation from Mama…

      I’m happy to take any and all ideas. I’m divorced and I want her to be happy and strong, not controlled by a man like I was by her father.

    • Bonnie July 16, 2013, 8:24 pm

      I am working on this with my nieces! I always remind them that they deserve what they want and can achieve their desires! They do not need boys or friends to make them feel good….they can do it on their own!!! I have also been sharing with my son, so that he will grow to appreciate all the goddesses out there!!!

    • Jennifer July 17, 2013, 1:36 am

      Great question! I dance with it, too; the culture is so pervasive. Two things that help me are the magazine & Web site New Moon Girls and an organization called Maiden Spirit.

    • SG Christy July 17, 2013, 12:03 pm

      I desire to know how to do this as well, through your work Regena I learned to own and love my beauty/body (thank you Mama Gena!) so I feel like I lead by example but my 8 year old girl keeps saying she’s fat and I hear her little friends talking about being fat. In addition, my 11 year old niece’s mom died 3 years ago and I want her to grow up knowing she is enough and so much more but my opinion is not perceived as cool by my girls! Thank you for asking the question…and thanks for answering Mama. And I think further to this question is how do we teach our boys to grow up respecting, loving and protecting women? I can’t believe some of the sexist things I still hear from boys!!

  • Pandi July 16, 2013, 9:13 am

    How do I get him to finalize his divorce?

  • BSG Glitzy Cougar Karen July 16, 2013, 9:11 am

    Upon exiting my empty, sexless marriage, my ex said to me “Well, you weren’t perfect either. You weren’t demanding enough and you were too low maintenance.”

    And yet when I did ask for what I wanted, he fought with me all the time. I was not a woose, but he badgered me into giving up. And of course he was living a secret life, hiring a dominatrix.

    Since dominatrix doesn’t seem to be my bag, how to I truly step into my desires in a way that men LOVE to serve me? I mean LOVE it!

    • Erica July 16, 2013, 12:17 pm

      Seconds for this question!
      my facts are a little different, but the question is just as valid in my life

  • Flamingo Flame M July 16, 2013, 9:10 am

    OK, here I go:
    How to stop thinking and wondering how others see me and my choices and stop waiting for approval for: being free, being loud, being quiet, being me?

    How to use my beauty and smarts for my own pleasure (without being smartypants;)?

    Thank you Mama Gena

  • Fi July 16, 2013, 9:09 am

    Dear Mama,

    I want to know how to feel like a woman. How to really feel like a woman. How to feel like a real woman. How to make that feeling so strong that it won’t come down even when you’re being ridiculed and rejected by the person who’s meant to love you.

    • Mariam July 16, 2013, 12:55 pm

      I’ll drink to that. 😉

  • Pam July 16, 2013, 9:09 am

    Hi Gena!
    I desperately need to connect with my husband who doesn’t know how to give me what I need. He plays victim to THE MANTRA… No matter what I do it’s not good enough. Strangely this is what he found with his mother.. Now deceased. I have a lot to give and want to give it all to him. Where do I start?

    • Rachel July 16, 2013, 12:21 pm

      Hi Pam,

      Last week, I read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
      It is an easy read and it may guide you or at least get you started on a
      more positive path with your husband. Rachel

      • Karen July 19, 2013, 10:15 pm

        I also loved the book! It will not only help you connect with your love partner, but also all your relationships will improve. It is about really learning what someone requires to feel loved. If you get the singles edition it will cover the same material and also go into how you can apply the principals to other relationships as well.

  • SG Jen July 16, 2013, 9:06 am

    One thing I have wondered about is….why do men complain when their woman is demanding, and how it bugs the shit out of them, yet it seems that the “bitches” get spoiled by their men….and the “low maintenance” women that they are initially attracted to because they aren’t bitchy and demanding often find their needs not getting met. And, we secretly envy those “bitches” who get whatever they want from men. Damn, what woman doesn’t want to be spoiled?? What the F is that about???? xoxo

    • SG LOTUS July 16, 2013, 11:00 am

      Great question!

  • Patricia July 16, 2013, 9:04 am

    What kind of connection do men want?

  • Bonnie July 16, 2013, 9:03 am

    My husband left me suddenly last November. He denied it and denied it but two months later I learned he had fallen in love with another woman. We had been together for close to 15 years and during most of those 15 years he showed very little interest in me sexually. When I reflect back now I realize that I had accepted scraps from him from the very start.

    My question is, going forward, how do I ensure that I will no longer put myself in a situation in which I accept scraps? I want the whole bloody, delicious, warm, cozy, marvelous blanket, not tiny, frayed pieces of cloth.

    Many thanks,

  • Erica July 16, 2013, 9:03 am

    Hey Mama Gena,
    What a gift you’re offering! I have two questions that I desire to have answered. One, how can a woman turn her strongest desires into a reality? Lastly, how can a woman get out of her head during sex and really go into the next realm of experience and “feel those nerve endings?”

    • Steph July 22, 2013, 11:00 pm

      How to get out of your head during sex. . . I second that q!