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My “make-it-happen” formula

I’m a New Yorker … and while I love being in the Hamptons for the summer, riding my horse, writing my book, dining with friends, walking along the beach, looking for shooting stars … Part of me is also glad I have big obligations to drive me forward and challenges to sink into – a book publishing deadline, two new classes starting next month, a daughter about to start her last year of high school.

I’m often asked how I do it … I’m in my fifties, but I feel 30. I’m super active, I love to sing and dance (as anyone who has attended a class or Intro can attest). I’ve got life and spark and energy. I run a thriving business and I do it all from the craziest busy city ever. As a single mom. While teaching classes nearly year-round.

My answer is simple, but not easy.

There is so much amazing information out there about what to do (business strategy, online techniques, productivity management, and on and on).

For me, my attention has always been less on the “what to do” and instead been on “how I do it.”

How do I be in my body and in my mind?
What’s the energy and style I bring?
How do I tap into my inner truth when making decisions?
How do I FEEL, and what’s my sense of flow as I’m doing it?
How do I stay plugged in to the divine?

So here is my simple, straightforward formula for how I create the impossible. These are my 3 secrets for success. They sound simple – and they are – but actually, they go pretty deep (so keep reading).

My 3-step secret is:
– have a go-to set of practices you’ve mastered
– get in action, and stay in action, to use them effectively
– apply them inside a community of supportive sisterhood

What? Sounds too simple? Often the simplest ideas are the most challenging practices. Let’s explore a bit more …

Twelve years ago, I wrote a book that laid out 8 of my essential practices and mindsets for life called The Womanly Arts. To this day I still use them all the time. These are:

Whetting Your Own Appetite
Having Fun No Matter What
Sensual Pleasure
Owning Your Beauty
Partying with Your Inner Bitch
Owning and Operating Men
Inviting Abundance

These Arts are my core frames and practices, but honestly, you could pick another set of practices from a different teacher, or another school of thought.

The most important thing is to pay attention to how the mindsets and practices make you feel, in your body.

Do they have you feel alive inside your life, and bring your energy and soul online, so you are energized and lit up to handle what life dishes out?

That’s the key experience you need to manifest magic in your life, so when you use practices that accomplish that – you’re golden.

Once you’ve chosen a set of concepts and practices that you feel are right for you – be rigorous and be consistent.

For me, I’ve only ever been able to accomplish that inside of community, inside of sisterhood.

On my own, I get off-track. With the support of other women, I can do almost anything.

I know, without fail, that if I connect with a friend every day to do the a simple exercises that I know work for me (and teach in my classes), then I’ll have more energy and focus to accomplish the huge list to do list in front of me.

When I’m not doing this frequently, I tend to space out, or drink too much coffee to help me focus. Or complain to anyone in my life who will listen, which will actually make me more tired and less able to get to that yoga class or push out the latest chapter of my book.

Sisterhood helps me cut through that vicious cycle, and take advantage of a virtuous cycle.

When my energy or courage flags, my community of practice holds my feet to the fire, and helps me push through.

When I am stuck, someone in my sisterhood will have an answer or tip for me. And I will do the same for her.

And finally, as women, it can be hard to hold our center, to stay in our body, and stay true to what we want. (We also tend to forget that anything we want is possible!)

A community of women who listens to your desires and dreams, who uplifts and uprides you … well, it’s actually the secret sauce to being a powerful successful woman.

Recognizing all of that, a few years ago, I created a course called Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp.

It was my way to create a practice community of women, from all over the world, to get in action and stay in action, with the Womanly Arts. And I wanted them to be able to do it from anywhere, from home.

I wanted a powerful, moving, energized distance learning container where women could bring their problems, bring their struggles, bring where they are stuck – and have change happen.

I know that it’s with the Arts, a community and structure that gets you into action, and a supportive sisterhood, that real magic happens.

At the beginning, I wondered if we could make magic happen at a distance. After 1,000 class graduates, I’m happy to say I know it does. (Don’t take my word for it, check out the success stories from grads first hand.)

Let’s face it … this life, this culture, the way we live, it just flat out does not support us as women.

We’re taught to put our needs last.
We’re taught to get our answers outside ourselves, outside of our body.
We’re taught to be at war with our bodies and emotions, instead of using them as a source of power.

We all need a practice community of other women, a sisterhood of support around us to take back what is our birthright: to live as powerful, radiant, turned on, embodied women.

That’s how we create magic in our lives, that’s what imbues our “what we do” and gets us incredible success. Yes, it takes technical skills to get results – but it also takes all of you. All of your woman. All of your body.

That’s where I think there is so much untapped potential, untapped resource, the place where a little bit goes a long way. I think this is actually probably the secret ingredient in this work… that we help you tap a vein of inspiration and magic you didn’t even know was there for you.

Certainly for me, when I’m stuck or not getting what I want in a certain area, I ask: How can I bring more of me to it? How can I bring more flow, more energy, more movement? And then I do my 3 steps and inevitably things immediately improve – and sometimes they accelerate at an even faster pace than I could have imagined.

A few years ago, I would never have guessed things could be in a place where I could be at the beach all summer, writing my next book. Life felt too full, too busy, too stressed for that to ever be possible.

I wonder, when you read this, what do you feel inspired to tackle now? What part of your life do you want different, and what specific Womanly Art or two do you think could help? And, what has already popped for you, from using the Arts? Also, which Arts will you bring into practice this week, and in what way? Add a comment below and let’s inspire each other!

Let’s see just how much we can create in a week. I’m right there with you, and can’t wait to connect in the comments!

In so much love and pleasure,

p.s. I just heard from my team that we’ve filled all the Boot Camp early bird spots. I’ve decided to extend it for another few days, so now early bird pricing (a savings of $150) is yours through Tuesday. If you’re interested, check out Boot Camp (how it works, what results to expect, and all the details right here on the website.

You can also talk one-on-one with Lauren, a long-time grad of all our courses, and head of enrollment here at the School. Just book a time via her online scheduler link, right here.

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12 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Kami August 30, 2015, 5:47 am

    Reading your post this week, it’s so timely. As often is.

    I’m stacking the “We’re taught to get our answers outside ourselves, outside of our body. ”

    My new womantra is “I am an embodied woman.”
    Thank you.

  • Aud August 22, 2015, 5:40 am

    “a daughter about to start her last year of high school.”
    WHAT? When did that happen?? xoxo

  • SG Christine August 21, 2015, 3:12 am

    Oh Mama, you are a mind reader! I literally just finished a long conversation with an amazing friend about how I am going to use these tools as I shift into my new job. I am going to get into my body more and simply listen BEFORE doing, which will be a big shift for me. I plan to do a daily SC before work, fill my shared office with flowers, healthy food and drink and make the space my own with colour and only supplies and decor that feel good to me. I plan to do a 30-day self-care practice and be my true playful self NO MATTER WHAT! It started today (weeks before work starts) when I told my husband my desire for him to take the kids away for a full day and night so I can just do what I need to do to prepare (asking for what I need is a huge deal for me in my marriage)…and he agreed! Let the games begin!

  • Bella August 21, 2015, 2:59 am

    I want to have fun no matter what! I am zeroing in on what I want, but I can be hard on myself when I don’t see results right away, and I start to doubt myself. I will inject fun throughout my day, and shoo those fearful thoughts away! That rhymed hehehe!

  • Oniongoddess August 21, 2015, 2:26 am

    After such a frustrating day I plan to dance and laugh and flirt with my hot ginger bear at a concert tonight and remember how we used to have fun pre baby! Can’t wait to turn this energy around starting with a dance party with my 18 mo old when he wakes from his nap……xo

  • Megan August 21, 2015, 1:54 am

    Oh Mama! Don’t stop the flow of words, your actions, all that you ARE. What wonderful nurturing thoughts you share….
    thank you thank you. oh my, thank you

  • mama gena August 21, 2015, 1:52 am

    well, today i’m cranky.
    i got thrown off my horse, in my riding lesson, and i am a bit sore, not to mention slightly freaked out! i am so grateful that i have no broken bones, but i am pissed that my horse spooked so badly (second time this week, the big chicken!) and i am hoping this does not become a recurring habit.
    so, i am practicing the art of having fun no matter what. i have already done a dance break, spring cleaning, and i will do a brag right here:
    i brag i got back up on that naughty horse after i got dumped. i brag i am badass.

    • Ellen M. Gregg August 21, 2015, 7:18 pm

      So glad you weren’t badly injured. Your horse saw something – the same something – in both instances. She looks like an earth-bound spirit, and there’s an association with “the old country.” Hopefully it won’t happen again.

      I loved this post. I would be completely sunk with my Compass, as we call ourselves. (Synchronistically, the four of us each represent the four seasons through our birthdates, and also the four points of the compass through indigenous teachings.)

      I have a bunch of practices that I’ve mastered, and yet I haven’t compiled a go-to set of them; a definite practice of practices. That’s something I need to tend to, and it’s something my Compass sisters would benefit from as well. We’re meeting on the 6th. Opportunity! 🙂

      Peace. ~Ellen

  • Lynn August 20, 2015, 8:20 pm

    I’m so happy I read your email this morning. What a nice “kick in the pants” to get myself going again. I have the will and energy……just need to focus more on my goals and what feelings and actions can make that a forward step.

    • mama gena August 21, 2015, 1:44 am

      so, what womanly art are you going to play with, lynn? 🙂

  • Jennifer August 20, 2015, 8:15 pm

    I’ve been partying with my inner bitch all this week – it gives me courage to ask for what I want and, when I’ve been denied, I party some and ask again.

    • mama gena August 21, 2015, 1:45 am

      i love how determined you are….so sexy. you are a woman who gets what she wants!