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Having Fun No Matter What

Welcome to the second installment of our 8-week summer series, The Womanly Arts Unplugged! This week, Maurya, a Mastery and Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp Grad from Boston, MA, joins us to teach about the Womanly Art of Having Fun No Matter What…

Maurya, Age 51 – Lawyer, Coach, Wife and Mama

Maurya HeadshotThe Art of Having Fun No Matter What is really my favorite art, because it’s about claiming my power and agency, and making the choice in any experience to find my pleasure and joy.

When I’m practicing this Art, I look at my life through the lens of a researcher, exploring ways to inject fun . . . even if, especially if, I’m dreading a particular obligation.

When I first learned about the Art of Having Fun No Matter What, I was like, “Yeah right. Are you kidding me?!” I didn’t think it was possible. Have fun no matter what? Come on. It seemed so frivolous, and unattainable.

Then, I moved into “research mode” — I still didn’t think it would bring enough change to be worth the effort, but I decided to experiment.

It was all about the baby steps. Flirt with a toddler, or a puppy. Go to Starbucks, get your favorite drink and compliment the barista on how they made it. It’s about treating yourself to that connection, and pleasure, in all the little moments that could otherwise just pass by.

That’s the way that I was willing to try this — choosing little risk-free opportunities to inject fun, and practice pleasure. And then notice, okay how do I feel? Lighter. Okay, interesting. And that’s what propelled me to take bigger risks, with bigger change potential.

What was your relationship with Fun like, before and after learning the Womanly Arts?

Before I learned the tools and arts, I did all the things I thought I was supposed to do. I was a good lawyer. I made good money. I was a good wife. I was a good mom. I volunteered. A lot.

I went to parties. They’d be . . . kinda fun. But because I didn’t feel fully confident about who I was and what I wanted, I was still concerned with what people thought of me, there was a certain level of self-consciousness. I would make nice conversation, it was lovely, blah blah blah, but it wouldn’t really feel juicy and connected.

See, I’m not the loudest crayon in the box. Before the SWA, I thought that having fun meant trying to be someone I’m not. I learned how to look like I was having fun — big smiles! But those experiences didn’t really light me up. I wondered, “Is that all there is?”

On a spectrum from A to Z, where A is bottom of the depths heartbreak and Z is total ecstasy, I was living in the middle of the alphabet. It was a pretty narrow bandwidth.

And I think that’s the societal thing that’s expected! If you’re too happy, people are taken aback — it’s too much. I think my standard answer to “How are you?” was “Ok, hangin’ in there,” and depending on how close we were, maybe “Ugh, it totally sucks.”

My life was pretty bland. And when I think back, it just didn’t occur to me that there was an option to have better. 

Maurya friendsNow, if something good happens, I jump up and down (yeah, kind of like a 5-year-old!) — it’s so much more fun! And if something shitty happens, I’ll have a tantrum. And that’s fun, too. What’s fun is being fully expressed. Expanding my bandwidth to span the full alphabet.

Through practicing the Art of Having Fun No Matter What, I’ve learned that there are different flavors of fun. Each woman has her own unique flavor. And each flavor has its own color, texture and taste.

For a long time, fun was just not one of the things on the menu. I did a lot of things that I thought I was supposed to do. And I did them really well. So I got a whole lot of rewards for doing them.

Fun was certainly not part of the job description for being a lawyer, and not really being a mother either.

The kinds of things that passed for fun during that time (like a girls’ weekend away, or a trip to the amusement park) took a lot of planning.

Fun really had to be engineered. Paid for. Planned. Childcare arranged. Fun was effort. And so alongside fun came pressure.

For instance, if my husband and I did all the work, spent all the time and money to plan a romantic getaway — damn, we better have an amazing time.

It is really hard to have fun under pressure.

Now that I practice this Art, fun is just injected in so many things. In everything. Things aren’t so serious. I can have fun for free, spontaneously, wherever, whenever.

How did you get started in the Womanly Arts in the first place?

I signed up for Mama Gena’s emails, and deleted most of them for a year or so. I thought, “That’s not for me.” I didn’t unsubscribe, though — almost like it was somehow just nice to know that this school was out there. Even if it “wasn’t for me,” I liked knowing there were these women out there having these fabulous lives. “Good for them!” I thought.

At the time, my life had become very small. Although I had once lived in NYC, spent a year in Paris, traveled Europe, I was living a pretty static life. My focus was on my kids and husband, work, civic and community volunteering. I had great female friends but we were all in a similar spot. Our lives were okay — good even — but not great. My relationship with my husband lacked spark. I didn’t feel sexy or confident. I was flat.

When I saw the opportunity to go to an intro event with SWA, I jumped at it. Even though I was terrified to go to New York alone. Even though I couldn’t imagine paying the tuition for the course. Even though I really had no idea what I was getting myself into!

All the women were SO warm and welcoming. And Mama Gena — she wanted more for me than I even wanted for myself. It makes me cry to remember that feeling, standing there and realizing this woman saw more for me, wanted more from me — and that I had lost touch with that for myself.

Maurya hubI knew I wanted Mastery. I went home, talked to my husband. We agreed, for lots of great reasons, to plan, save and for me do it the following year. But as the start of Mastery approached, I knew I had to do it that year — I knew nothing would change in a year, and I just couldn’t let myself delay any longer. I signed up on the last day of enrollment, trusting things would figure themselves out. And they did.

Then, I signed up for Boot Camp at my graduation from Mastery — I was clear that I was so not done, and wanted to jump right into the next thing. Boot Camp really helped me take the work to the next level. What I liked about it is that there was so much space for digestion and integration. Boot Camp really anchored the work for me. Also, it helped me bridge the gap between going to NYC to have these amazing live experiences in community, feeling fabulous there and then also in daily life. Boot Camp showed me how to practice in my real life even more.

Also, the community is AMAZING. My study buddy from Boot Camp and I are still practice partners 3 years later, practicing the tools together and holding each other accountable. I LOVED meeting her for the first time in Miami after we connected in Boot Camp. We knew each other so intimately — yet we had never met in person.

How do you justify practicing the Art of Having Fun No Matter What, amidst all the competing priorities of life?

At first, the Art of Having Fun No Matter What sounds VERY frivolous.

For example, one way I might practice this Art is, if I have a presentation, I wear really sassy underwear and great accessories. Fun! Saying that sounds so frivolous. But the thing is, it’s not — because what it’s actually about being in relationship with myself. Knowing that me, myself and I are creating our experience, and we can choose fun.

There is something about putting the attention on myself, and specifically making that connection so fun and pleasurable, that lets me continue that connection wherever else I go in my day. That helps me stay in the position of being a researcher. I’m dressed for fun. How can I have more?

So when I’m doing my presentation, it’s much more fun because I’ve spent that time with myself, and instead of worrying about how I’m being perceived, I’m anchored (connected) to my ability to choose fun through my accessories and my sassy underwear! It’s contagious. Even though they don’t know why, if I’m lit with fun, everyone else has much more fun too.

How do you use this Art in different areas of your life?

First, it’s a practice.  Sometimes I forget or get lazy and things get bland again. But not for long! This community reminds me, opportunities for fun are everywhere. Here are a few examples . . .

  • I recently went for a mammogram (not on my top 10 fun ways to spend an afternoon). I injected fun by flirting with the staff and technicians. I took a selfie of me with a tortured face and a squished breast, shared it with my sisters and we all had a good laugh.

  • Recently, I took my Aunt to her radiation treatment. That’s a sad and scary thing. But I took a stand that we can still have fun while we’re doing it. I was determined to make it fun. We went out to lunch, I brought feathers. I brought joy into a tough situation and we made it fun.

  • Maurya sonMaking meals for my family. It’s one of the things I hate the most some days — it can get so freaking monotonous! So now, I’ll do things like breakfast for dinner, or ice cream first. Just for fun.

  • When it comes to mothering two adolescents, the Art of Having Fun No Matter What is game-changing. Where I would normally react with anger and discipline, I can now respond with humor. WAY more effective. If something gets canceled, and one of my kids is disappointed, as opposed to being focused on the thing that we missed, I’ll make it fun, framing it as, “Wow, let’s see what adventure is going to unfold now!”

  • I spend a lot of time in my car ferrying my kids to their various activities. For fun, I keep a tiara and a disco ball on my rear view mirror. I have music ready to crank up. We’ve had some rockin’ dance breaks on the highway. They allow me to express the pent up frustration by dancing rather than pounding the steering wheel or dying inside as the time slowly ticks away in traffic.

  • In my marriage, my husband and I have integrated the Art of Having Fun No Matter What in many different ways. When we get into an argument, we can just get silly about it, and that will lighten the mood. I step outside of the old patterns of, “Ugh he’s being such a jerk, why can’t he see things the way I do and be done with it??” Instead, it’s knowing there’s a different way and enjoying each other and our differences. Also, I’ll plan things that are fun that we wouldn’t normally do. Like a romantic dinner in the middle of the week after work. One time when we really needed an injection of fun, I got champagne and we had a date in the back of my car!

  • At work, if I have stuff I’m dreading doing, I know it’s time to amp up my fun practice. I get my atmosphere together. I make sure I have flowers. I’ll bring rose water. I’ll set a very pleasing stage for myself to do stuff that I don’t like.

  • Also, I say “no” a lot more. One way to practice the Art of Having Fun No Matter What is declining invitations that I know won’t be fun from the get-go! I give myself permission to say “no” to things that are not in my pleasure.

How can you practice the Art of Having Fun No Matter What, when you’re in a really bad mood, or in the middle of rupture, or having a terrible day?

This is so important. It’s when I least feel like doing it that I need to. In addition to the challenges of everyday life, I suffer from clinical depression. This can really knock a woman down! Reaching for the fun when it’s the opposite of what I feel like doing makes a huge difference and shifts my energy.

When I’m in the middle of a stressful time or have been kicked in the ass by something happening in my life, the very last thing I want to do is have fun. Hiding from the world under the covers with Ben & Jerry was my go-to move before the SWA.

Now, if that’s where I’m at, I handle it differently. I don’t try to take myself out of the mood, or out of the misery. Instead, I play with it. I throw myself a party. Fine wine, tasty treats, sad music, smeared mascara — the works. Giving full expression to whatever I’m feeling is what turns it into fun.

And it’s about community too — doing this in community makes it much more powerful, and helps you give yourself permission. Since studying at the SWA, I feel like it’s my responsibility to take charge of my life and insert fun whenever I desire.

What’s your secret weapon in the Art of Having Fun No Matter What?

Remembering that it is always a choice. Many things in life are outside of my immediate control — mean people, traffic, the list is endless. But I have the power and agency to control my experience and make it fun anywhere and any time.

Also, headphones. I can instantly create my desired atmosphere with sound. When I’m stuck in traffic, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, making dinner, waiting for an appointment, whatever, I can just pop in my headphones and turn it into a dance party.

It seems so simple, and I don’t know why I didn’t think of doing it before — it changes everything.

Ok, your turn. Join me in the comments! I’d love to know — how are you doing in the Art of Having Fun No Matter What? How do you flex your fun muscle in your daily life? I’d love to hear your tips, tricks and stories in the comments section. And better yet, come join me in Boot Camp in September — I’d love to play with you there!

— Sister Goddess Maurya

In case you missed it, check out Part 1 of The Womanly Arts Unplugged: The Art of Whetting Your Own Appetite. And stay tuned for Part 3 next week. (Make sure to subscribe to our newsletter for updates!)

This summer series is our way of pre-partying for Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp, which is currently open for enrollment! Boot Camp is a distance-learning program that takes a woman deep inside each of the Womanly Arts. It includes live teleclasses with Mama Gena, carefully crafted weekly exercises, and a thriving online community. Click here for all the details, plus a special discount offer for the first 75 registrants!

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  • Caliente Creatrix Mercedes August 7, 2014, 12:21 pm

    I so adore you, Maurya. I feel so blessed to know you & have you in my life. You are a sparkle of warmth & delight. What an awesome post!!! Thank you for sharing the different flavors of fun! I love how you find the fun with your family, at work, even at the doctor’s office. I can’t stop smiling after reading your post. This is so contagious, you’ve inspired me to find the fun wherever I go, even if i have to throw a tantrum! 🙂

    xo

  • Ruby Red July 29, 2014, 4:35 pm

    Wow, what a potent post, SG Maurya! Your brilliance cut thru my case’o’blues today. I”m a huge believer in having fun no matter what, it’s my womantra, but don’t I forget it frequently?

    I need the reminder today, as I come back from some exhausting and wonderful life changes, 2 weeks after my big wedding. You are lifting me from my slump. Thank you so much! xoxo

  • Desirée July 19, 2014, 7:33 am

    Dear SG Maurya,

    Thanks so much for this inspirational post! I feel so much pressure at times from many people around me to conform to how they think I should be and what I should do. It’s been like this my whole life and I thought this would get easier with age, but it doesn’t. It’s hard to fight off other people’s constant disapproval and judgement.
    But getting inspiration from your post, I’m not gonna worry about that today. I’m gonna have fun. I’m gonna go to an outdoor reggae festival and shake my butt non-stop!
    Have a great weekend!

  • Kypris July 16, 2014, 2:21 pm

    I totally agree that headphones are the best secret weapon EVER! Today I have to do some editing for several hours for someone else. Not my funnest part of my job. BUT — I can add the fun of my Lady Gaga Pandora station and instantly it lightens the whole mood. Thanks for the reminder! And yes, I have a tiara too….. 🙂

    • SG Maurya July 19, 2014, 6:57 am

      SG Kypris — love how you’re choosing fun ‘cuz Baby you were born that way!

  • Elke Rindfleisch July 16, 2014, 1:17 pm

    Wonderful post! Radiating aliveness and total commitment to pleasure and fun to keep life as rewarding and beautiful as possible! FF: breakfast for dinner, and ice cream first! YES! Thank you.

  • Sister SpiritGoddess Marrey July 16, 2014, 12:14 pm

    Sister Daughter Goddess Maurya,

    Thank you for sharing this thoughtful reflection with the community. Your practice of welcoming research, taking small steps, and being curious and conscious of the outcome are important reminders.

    Your words of wisdom resonate deeply, and I take pleasure in experiencing your stepping (ah, dancing) into a life of pleasure…and fun. I’m in awe of the way you’ve integrated this core practice of having fun no matter what into your life. Brilliant!

    I am grateful,too, for your introducing me to Mama Gena, and that we now share a Mama whose teachings are beyond what I received and, hence, could pass on. You found SWA. You did it. You introduced me. You led the way. You rock! How blessed we are to be learning/growing separately and together at the SWA and the special women’s community gathered round.

    Fun for me this summer is slowing down, planting hydrangeas and watching them blossom, working in and harvesting from my urban farm (3 Earth Boxes), reading and watching clouds go by while on the deck, swimming at Walden Pond, and joining a Wisdom Circle (with other men and women who are in their golden years) exploring creative and conscious age-ing and sage-ing.

    From your blood mama who adores your beauty, strength, and leadership. Lead on!

    Sister SpiritGoddess Marrey

    • SG Maurya July 19, 2014, 7:13 am

      SG Mommy — I love that I get to call you that! One of the greatest gifts from the SWA has been the healing and expansion in our relationship. It hasn’t always been easy, but OMG it is infinitely rewarding. I am so grateful for your desire, willingness, perseverance, curiosity and courage. I am honored and blessed to call you mother and sister. We have so much fun together. Love you beyond!

  • Kim July 16, 2014, 10:48 am

    Living in NYC, the subway makes me crazy. Uggh. But I bought the Chopra Center “Living in Love” meditation app and it has changed many a commute. Although I wouldn’t call it “fun”, it calms me down and evens me out on especially difficult rides. I would highly recommend primordial sound to even out those awful and tense MTA moments! 🙂

  • Leslie July 16, 2014, 8:41 am

    Maurya,
    I met you several months ago at the Bobbi Brown counter at Nordstroms. How great to see your story here. Hearing your story inspires me in so many ways. Especially as you express your views on how to deal with clinical depression. That’s my bete noir, and I’m always searching to alternate methods to tame it.

    Thank you….

    • SG Maurya July 16, 2014, 11:48 am

      SG Leslie – that was so much fun! My mom and I were out for our first real make-up consultation. I loved your frame of us, “That we looked like ourselves, only better!” And to discover that you knew SG Oceana?! Sister Goddesses are everywhere! I’m thrilled that you’re here on the blog. Are you thinking about Boot Camp? C’mon, take the plunge! You know you wanna!!

  • cristina July 15, 2014, 8:04 pm

    Maurya, my original spring cleaning partner!!! How I love seeing this post and seeing you blossom into the leader you have always been – in the FUN department of all places!!! You are an absolute delicious delight my friend!!! In my third trimester of pregnancy and unexpectedly without my partner, having fun no matter what has become one of my biggest challenges. Yet, I understand how powerful it is and thanks for the extra reminder.

    Some of my favorite things to do lately: have a really good time playing with my cat and talking to him, loving him up with abandon, making up crazy songs to sing to my unborn baby, and making myself laugh out loud, taking in the incredibly pleasurable aroma of lavendar essential oils every night before bed, flirting with EVERYONE during the day at work and in life, listening to music, moving my pregnant bod in whatever way feels great.

    Thanks for putting this back at the center of my radar screen!
    xoxo
    Cristina

  • Gina July 15, 2014, 7:37 pm

    I guess you can say that I’ve been “spying” on the Sister Goddess community. I’ve read both of Mama Gena’s books and thoroughly enjoyed them, and in fact, reference them frequently as I implement the practice. I spend many hours at the office, working up to 14 hours some days, and what I’ve done to have fun at work is created an atmosphere that is becoming to me. My desk is decorated with personal touches that almost gives it a feeling of being at home…it’s my “work from home” philosophy. It draws others in, they come by my desk for no particular reason at all. I’m convinced it’s because of the environment I’ve created, it’s somehow cozy and comforting. I even have a candy bowl for my guests. I am “the hostesses with the mostess” and I love sharing. It helps tremendously during those 60 hour work weeks. In peace, love and FUN!

  • SG Sensual (Spanx-Free) Shakaya July 15, 2014, 7:08 pm

    FUN =D
    Fun was never a priority for me…there were always so many more ‘important’ things …
    Seriousness was a dis-ease…until Mama Gena!
    Thank you SG Maurya for reminding us all to have our daily dose 🙂

  • Laura Jacobs July 15, 2014, 6:35 pm

    What a glorious way to go thru life. Why not? These are wonderful ideas especially the tiara in the car. I have two now so relocating one to another location sounds great. I also love long bubble baths ,perfume,lip gloss,funny movies and reframes. Reframes are my specalties I practice just for fun. Even in Paris we had a waiter who was miserable when he asked me what I wanted in a tone that was well shall we say condescending I told him I wanted a smile from him that would make me so happy . He did it and it changed our entire experience with him I ended up giving him a big tip and a kiss on the cheek that her certainly was not expecting.

  • Brenda July 15, 2014, 6:02 pm

    Gorgeous post!!!!
    FF What’s fun is being fully expressed. Expanding my bandwidth to span the full alphabet.

    LOVE witnessing you having fun no matter what!!!

  • SG Heidi July 15, 2014, 4:06 pm

    Hi SG Maurya! I was so excited to read your post. We met during the introductory weekend in February and did the spring cleaning exercise together. At least I think that’s what it was called. You are an inspiration! I’ve been working on infusing my life with more fun and I loved all your ideas. For sure will be getting my pink boa out and putting it in my Jeep. By the way, buying my Jeep was one of the ways that I put some fun back in my life! I’m guaranteed to have fun people wave to me whenever I’m on the road. Which helps me remember to keep it happy and keep it sassy! I’m planning to do Bootcamp and go to Miami so I’ll be on the look out for you.

    • SG Maurya July 16, 2014, 11:44 am

      SG HEIDI!!! It was such a pleasure to meet you at the Intro event. I’m SOOO excited that you’ll be in Boot Camp!!! I look forward to playing with you there!!!! XO

  • SG Sue July 15, 2014, 4:03 pm

    I loved this post. One of the biggest parts of SWA that really spoke to me was how important it is just to have fun. I missed that part of my life and I’m so grateful to have it back. This was a great reminder! Great article and good to see you out here too! oxox

  • Susan July 15, 2014, 3:09 pm

    Thank you so much for the invitation!
    When I had a discussion with my love yesterday about a topic we can’t solve at the moment, I felt like hiding under the covers for the whole day. But I went with a friend to visit her sister who’s cat got six kittens! We’ve been cuddling them for hours. Afterwards we went to share a delicous Thai meal and then got the employees at LUSH to show us many many delightful products that smelled heavenly and glittered or could be kneaded. Lots and lots of fun (without spending much money).

    And I love having a beautiful coloured candle and some incense sticks at home to lift my general mood. And candy-coloured nailpolish. Oh, and I try out hairdos from TV shows (Penny from Big Bang Theory eg).

    If you’re feeling really down, dress up and go to a gay club. That always works for me. Let yourself be complimented without any hidden agenda and flirt with those wonderful, open-minded people! Dance with them to disco beats and let yourself be cheered up. I ended up making several really close friends!

  • Hannah July 15, 2014, 2:15 pm

    I loved this post so much – thank you for sharing and inspiring me, SG Maurya!

  • T. L. Cooper July 15, 2014, 1:54 pm

    What struck me most about your post was when you talked about the difficulty of having fun under pressure. We put so much emphasis on what’s supposed to be fun, we forget to stop and ask ourselves what we actually enjoy!! I was guilty of this for a long time and wondered why the great trips I took to awesome places just didn’t have any magic in them for me yet I could have a blast just hanging and dancing by myself in my own home. Then I realized it was the pressure. Not only the pressure of what’s supposed to be fun but worrying that what I found fun my husband wouldn’t enjoy. Now, I just put it out there. And, yes, saying no is key. I’ve learned to say “You go ahead. That just doesn’t sound like fun to me right now.” when asked to do something I’m just not in the mood to do. My desires and my fun are just as important as everyone else’s and for a long time I refused to even admit that to myself. The funny thing was when I finally embraced that, not only did my fun increase but so did the fun of those around me. Fun is as contagious as smiling! 🙂

  • Kyra Gaunt, Ph.D. July 15, 2014, 12:34 pm

    This was inspiring. I am so excited about being in 2015 Mastery course. I felt the love and energy at the NYC graduation. It brought me to tears. I need more of this in my life my spirit said to me–the feminine unhinged and released. For all my studies around music and dance, this is needed and desired in my life now.

    • SG Maurya July 16, 2014, 11:42 am

      YAY for you saying “YES” to Mastery 2015!! (Jumping up and down like a 5 y.o.) Mama Gena teaches how to be a woman in your body and move your emotions through your body. Combining her teachings with your love of music and dance, you will be even more of a powerhouse. Congratulations!!

  • Sg Rockstar July 15, 2014, 12:27 pm

    SG Maurya

    You totally rocked this art in your post – I loved what you wrote and I love that you have given me a refreshing perspective on this tool. I am now off to have fun no matter what!! Thank you for your wonderful share!!

    • SG Maurya July 16, 2014, 11:39 am

      SG Rockstar!!! You are one of my idols. The fun starts when you get there!

  • SG Anne July 15, 2014, 12:18 pm

    Thank you so much, SG Maurya, for opening your tool box and sharing your pleasure research — you are such an inspiration and so wise! You’ve inspired me – I love that you keep a tiara and disco ball in your car. Brilliant!

  • SG Estela July 15, 2014, 12:17 pm

    Hello SG Maurya,
    It is a great intention “Have fun no matter what”. You said also you “swamp” and it felt good. This piece is easier for me to do it with people, in our practices, and not alone.
    I believed that boot camp comes before Mastery, many people go to Mastery several times, one lady said: 6 times. How do you choose one program from another? I also want to keep in touch with the sisterhood. Can you say more about your choices. I want like the rest of us to be in pleasure most of the time.
    Thanks for sharing,

    • SG Maurya July 16, 2014, 11:38 am

      Sister Goddess Estela — I ADORE you!
      For me, I didn’t even know about Boot Camp when I signed up for Mastery, so I did Mastery first.
      I kind of hid out in my first Mastery, so I signed up for Boot Camp as Mastery ended because I knew that I needed to be in a SWA program to insure that I would stay connected to the community and use the tools. Boot Camp was perfect for me. It supported me in a much deeper and consistent practice of the tools at home and in my everyday life.
      Then my mom, SG Marrey (Spirit Goddess) did the next Mastery and I was on Team Pleasure, so I had the opportunity to experience Mastery in a different way.
      At first, I was suspicious of women who did the courses multiple times. I said to myself, “I’ll nail this the first time through.” Paraphrasing SG Elvira and Heraclitus, “you never cross the same river twice.” As you know, this work changes you. So each time I took a course for a second time, I was a different woman and it was different depending on the community of sisters who were in the course. In some ways I felt more connection, because I was interacting with other Boot Campers from my own turf.
      Also, I’m pretty value-driven. Boot Camp is a great value, especially if you get one of the discounted early-registration seats. Follow your Ps and whatever you chose will be perfect for you.

  • SG Patty July 15, 2014, 11:56 am

    Thank you, Sister! I loved this post. My FF: I feel like it’s my responsibility to take charge of my life and insert fun whenever I desire.
    Thank you for this heavenly reminder that it’s my choice! And thank you for your transparency,
    Kisses and hugs,
    xoxoxox

  • Juliet July 15, 2014, 11:54 am

    Thanks so much Maurya… your post hit many buttons … I know that I dated many men that were fun because I didn’t know how to have fun… being a total empath I was running around with everyone’s energy in me and what fun is that.. then, of course, my upbringing made having fun a sin or something like that.. I was recently introduced to Mama Gena through my friend Adell and am going to the Miami event in November. Looking forward to it and would love to get to a place where fun is something that I fully embrace. hugs juliet

    • SG Maurya July 16, 2014, 10:55 am

      Sister Goddess Juliet — Isn’t that the truth! Playing other people’s idea of fun just isn’t fun sometimes. What an excellent opportunity you’ll have to research your flavor of fun in Miami!

  • SG Saleemah July 15, 2014, 11:54 am

    Great piece and great suggestions. Thanks so much!

  • Paula July 15, 2014, 11:23 am

    SG Maurya — love your story and thanks for this great reminder on finding the fun—it’s always there waiting on us to ask it to dance and to notice how fab it is to twirl around in the swirly skirts of life and love!

  • Zoe July 15, 2014, 11:20 am

    Call 911, I’m having a breakthrough! Maurya darling, you’ve inspired me from my halo to my cloven hooves. I too put a lot of intent and action toward making life fun, and you’ve shown me that I can step it up not just a notch but a mountain! Tiara and disco ball?! Champagne in the backseat?! And you spoke to the core of my soul with the words I needed to hear when you shared on saying no. GPS bless you! xoxox

  • SG Rump-Shaker Rachel (aka Rampage) July 15, 2014, 11:18 am

    I love hearing from a SG who’s “not the loudest crayon in the box” because there are so many of us SGs who are mostly on the reserved side with ribbons of wild colors swirled in.

    I work in a very stuffy, corporate environment, so at least once a day, I close the door to my office and crank up my iPhone for dance break. I also make sure to always joke with my colleagues and not take myself or the job too seriously. I say “hi” to everyone and don’t take it personally if they don’t return my greeting.

    It get’s tough at home sometimes because my energy is so intertwined with the energy of my husband and stepson. I try to be goofy to lighten the mood, play with my dogs or blast music and dance.

    On my long commute to/from work, I often spring clean by myself, speak my desires outloud…or do trinities. It really brings fun and pleasure to a horribly long drive.

    FF: “Now, if something good happens, I jump up and down (yeah, kind of like a 5-year-old!) — it’s so much more fun! And if something shitty happens, I’ll have a tantrum. And that’s fun, too. What’s fun is being fully expressed. Expanding my bandwidth to span the full alphabet.”

    • SG Maurya July 15, 2014, 11:35 am

      WOW! SG Rump-Shaker Rachel, your commitment to fun and pleasure is so fierce and inspiring!! Spring cleaning or doing BGD’s (trinities) in the car on your commute — genius way to #grabatool !

  • Sister Goddess Dazzling Debra July 15, 2014, 10:58 am

    This blog is so brilliant and so visceral. I can feel your intention and how the “discipline” of having fun becomes a practice, then a habit, then a way of life.
    You are so right on that the community keeps us on point.
    I love how centered and grounded and clear and easeful this practice has become a way of life for you
    THANK YOU for your beautiful elucidation of how fun can be integrated..AND thank you for your transparency regarding depression.
    I just want to look into your eyes and tell you how much I appreciate you…
    Let’s make a date to do that in Miami!!!

    • SG Maurya July 15, 2014, 11:30 am

      Thank you, thank you, SG Dazzling Debra. Mutual appreciation date in Miami? It’s SO on!

  • Erica July 15, 2014, 10:57 am

    Thank you, SG Maurya for an amazing post. My FF is ” Many things in life are outside of my immediate control — mean people, traffic, the list is endless. But I have the power and agency to control my experience and make it fun anywhere and any time.” You’re so right about having the ability to make your own experience. I hope to some day be in a state of mind where I readily realize the control I have in being able to mandate how I experiences things. I find that I’m still in a state of just dealing with whatever happens rather than recognizing and acting upon my power. As always, I’m left being grateful for these posts because they get my brain juices flowing as to how I can better myself.

    • SG Maurya July 15, 2014, 11:26 am

      SG Erica, thank you for that frame. That really is the heart of it – whether to be at the mercy of things outside of our control or to take a stand for one’s experience and pleasure.
      Your awareness is everything. When you notice that you’re just dealing with whatever happens, ask yourself “What might I do to claim my power in this moment?” You don’t even have to choose to do it then. As your awareness builds, you might be willing to take a baby step and try it. It’s really hard to do it alone. The support and reinforcement from our community has been essential for me.
      Bootcamp is a great playing ground for practicing fun and other SWA arts and tools. Come join us!

  • Allyson July 15, 2014, 10:08 am

    SG Maurya! Thank you soooo much for this reminder and tutorial on FUN! I had fun reading it and I am having fun reflecting on all the ways I have fun in my life now post-Mastery. We really do choose our lives– why be miserable when we can be rocking our way through life?

    • SG Maurya July 15, 2014, 11:11 am

      SG Allyson, Great to see you here! It’s SOoo true and so easy to forget. Staying in touch with this community helps me remember. Keep on rockin’!!