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Gestating an Elephant

After whipping my smoothie together, grabbing my gym stuff, tossing a green juice in my bag, scanning the NYTimes on my iPhone and ordering a latte – to go – it’s only 7:30am.

Me, you, and who else?

Then there’s my kid, who is vexed because she isn’t sure what to declare her major in, and she’s still in high school.

And my only-just-graduated nephew, who feels under the gun to write the next great American novel.

We live in a world of instant, immediate everything.
We keep going faster in order to go even faster.

In this goal-oriented, production-focused, instagrammable, patriarchal culture, we are taught that it’s all about results, results, results. We want outcomes, people, and we want them now.
Exhausting. And so much pressure.
And what’s worse? It is so not feminine.

Culturally we have not been taught to encourage or respect the native indigenous growth cycle, or gestational cycle, of a desire.
Some desires seem to happen almost instantaneously.
But other desires have their own timeline and cannot be squeezed out quickly like a tube of toothpaste.

In fact, pushing too hard for results can destroy a desire.
The most truly deep, magical, soul-shifting and profound desires require somewhat longer gestation.

Desire, she begins in the imagination. She is fueled by your enjoyment of the thought of her, your gladness at catching glimpses of her, and your continual delight at imagining her coming to fruition. Your desires are executed by taking very small, deliberate baby steps in the direction of her fulfillment.
With no judgment, and no timer.

Very often, a desire is just the tip of an iceberg. It slowly expands into something greater, bigger, and more powerful than you could have ever even imagined at the beginning of the journey. Very often, when a desire pops into your soul, heart and mind – it is the inauguration of an adventure of such epic proportions that if your life were a film, it would be like Star Wars, and you would need 8+ full-length features to tell the whole story.

The nature of the feminine is cyclical. It takes one little ovum 28 whole days to ripen and get ready in the ovaries, then to burst forth and travel down the fallopian tubes, for its shot at fertilization in the uterus, or getting shed in menstruation. And those 28 days are a drop in the bucket of the 280 days that it takes to make a baby.
Or the 640 days it takes to gestate an elephant.

The nature of woman is to want to be the housing for the gestation of creation in so many different forms. Whether it’s bringing a new life into the world, or an idea into the world, or a book or a business or a poem or a work of art or an ambition.

The problem is, none of us were taught how to withstand the wait.
Or – lawd have mercy – savor the wait.

And if we do not enjoy the gestation of a desire, it not only slows down the progress of the desire, but it makes life very frustrating and unhappy.

So, how do all of us fast food-raised, text-happy, amazon.com-loving women slow the fuck down enough to enjoy the adventure of our ever unfolding desires?

For you, for me, for Hillary Clinton (who, politics aside, has not given up on her desires, no matter what), and for all of us speed demons who are on the adventure of making our dreams come true, whether we know it or not…here’s what I want you to hear:

You were born to gestate, and anything you can conceive of is on its way to you, as long as you think so.

By the way, this is why the School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program exists. I’ve watched more desires take root and grow to fruition than I can count, every storyline as brilliant and unique as the woman who lives them. It’s what I live for.

For today, to help remind you how to gestate, when you just want it all yesterday, here’s a 5-part mini-roadmap to live by.

Desire Incubator Process

1. Celebrate the simple enjoyment of having your desire. Allow yourself to feel turned on and excited as you imagine living your dream. Really. I mean it. Feel turned on as you imagine what you want. It’s like pouring fuel onto your dreams. Like meditation, this requires daily practice.

2. When you get impatient, take a break and give yourself 21 days of no action towards your desire. Your job during those 21 days is simply to pay honor and tribute to the creative source that you are. YOU are the gestator. She who creates.

3. Don’t keep your dreams to yourself. Tell everyone you know about the wonderful desire you are gestating. Don’t feel embarrassed because you don’t have a result yet. Intention is everything. Brag about it. You are a woman in the process of living her dreams and creating her destiny.

4. Gather a community of women to support your desires. Be willing to teach people how to encourage you on your way to living your dreams. Guide the people who criticize you or tell you that you can’t do what you want, to applaud you and cheer for you instead. Explain that whenever they say, ‘rock on’ or ‘you go, baby!’ they are fertilizing your soul.

5. Every day, take another baby step forward. You got this. You were made for this.

I know, I know, everyone around you has made New Year’s resolutions, and has signed up for the next 10-day detox, and they all want to know what your quick fix is going to be.

But, in the comments below, I want to know:

  • What are you gestating?
  • What wonderful big giant baby are you creating over the next decade or so?
  • Or, what elephants have you brought to life?

 
xo,

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75 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Dee January 25, 2016, 5:28 am

    Hello Regena,
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you are doing to empower women everywhere!!
    I love the concept of the Desire Incubator!
    A sacred place to create, nurture and imbue our most cherished and precious dreams with all the detail and potential that they need to thrive and sustain for the foreseeable future.

    I’m gestating living with my gorgeous husband in the West Indies.
    I wake up every morning and take a long walk across the beach, breathing in the soft new morning air, watch the warm sun rise whilst connecting with God through thankful prayer.
    I return home have breakfast, enjoy a quick swim and get ready for the day.

    I own a beautiful spa that is dedicated to well being.
    It is situated opposite a beautiful beach.
    It has 7 ensuite guest rooms, and 7 treatment rooms. A hydrotherapy suite. Gym, Pilates and Yoga Room.
    The spa also has a beautiful restaurant, covered in gorgeous giant 3-dimensional murals of tropical plants and flowers for guests and non guests.
    The restaurant serves amazing food and beverages where most of the ingredients are grown organically on the island itself.

    My husband and I live nearby the spa and I/we visit daily to commune with the guests, have a chat with Oprah, Steadman, Gayle and Michelle Obama if they are visiting .
    I oversee that the staff are happy and have everything that they need and that the spa is running smoothly.
    I have a treatment, enjoy a meal in the cafe and maybe join in an evening yoga or pilates class.
    At the end of the day I stroll through the spa making sure everything and everyone is ok before going home.

    I/We then return home to have friends over for dinner and drinks or just refresh, relax, chat, watch the sun set while listening to amazing music, sip on gorgeous cocktails and eat delicious grilled seafood salads.
    We then shower, and retire to bed. Make love, have amazing sex and fall asleep in each others arms.

    Woo hooo!!!

  • SG ABISOLA January 21, 2016, 10:21 am

    Thank you for this post. I read somewhere that gray hair (I have got some) comes out of a belief in pressure. I was looking at how I have shaped my life out of pressure to ……. and the list goes on. When I took SWA’s Mastery course, one of my top desires was to shape a life from having my desires met rather than goals, task lists and all the other stuff that goes with it. Change is really beginning to happen. This post reminded and provided me that missing link – gestation – that Desire Incubator Process is brilliant! My desire is to create a life of ease, faith and prosperity in having my desires stated out loud and met in full. I’m coming out!

  • Kirsten January 18, 2016, 4:43 pm

    Wonderful post.

    After a series of relationships that ended in disappointment over the past year, I am gestating a deeper sense of self-awareness and understanding. I don’t know what it is that I want in a man, which has led to a medley of relationships that have not led to deep, meaningful connections. I am gestating the desire to understand what it is that I actually desire. With this intent I am refocusing my energy on self rather than the search for someone else. Getting reacquainted with my values and what brings me true happiness. It’s been a while and I’m not quite sure that I’ve ever dedicated significant time to this for the sake a self-knowledge. There is a always an undercurrent of hope that by focusing on myself, I can find *him* rather than focusing on myself purely because it’s good for me. It is difficult to tease the two apart, but 21 days of no action will bring me closer.

  • Lois Shannon January 17, 2016, 11:51 pm

    I received a calling 3 years ago that I was supposed to set up something like AA or 12 Step for women. The download I got from the Universe is that we are in a recovery process of what it means to fully show up as a woman, since our society has honored the masculine for so long. I too had honored the masculine as it seemed like the best road to safety and success. I was what Maureen Murdock calls “a father’s daughter” in her book The Heroine’s Journey. My father was a war hero with a successful career and I wanted to follow in his footsteps. I had a big business career and then had three children in four years. When I became an instant and full time mom my whole world changed. My children didn’t need the doing, accomplishing, fixing energy I had developed in order to succeed in the business world. They needed the nurturing, patient, presence of a woman and mother. I was so out of touch with this part of myself that it took a suicidal depression and a lot of shadow work to help me recover and reclaim these parts of myself. The message I got was that perhaps I am not the only woman going through this process. I was guided to create an organization where we could come together and learn from each other, remembering together our intrinsic worth as women and honoring our sacredness. I have been doing exactly what Mama Gena suggests in this fabulous blog post. I have held on to this vision, telling everyone about it and taking baby steps to keep moving it forward. I feel like I have been giving birth to a 20 pound baby and I have intentionally gone slowly so as to follow the natural unfolding and birthing process. It has been scary and uncomfortable as creating a business in this way is so different than anything I did before in business (where everything was deadline driven, performance oriented, etc). The Woman’s Network is all about “feeling” when the time is right to launch something and letting the community build organically. Nothing is forced or controlled. I still don’t know exactly what this business will look like just as we never know what our baby will look like before it is born. We just have to trust and learn to be comfortable in the unknown and the unfolding. It is a beautiful process and I am learning how important it is for us to use these skills of patience, nurturing, the unknown which come naturally to us as women. As we do this we will reclaim and recover what it means to be a woman instead of doing it the way it works best for the men.

  • KP January 17, 2016, 11:46 pm

    I’ve desired love since July, and I’ve essentially done all of the steps in the incubator processes except for taking the 21-day break from it. I’m going to work on that starting today and not worry too much about when love is coming. I love basking in the deliciousness of the feeling of the desire of love though, and it’s so much fun. I can’t wait until my real love gets here 🙂

  • Segolene January 13, 2016, 5:11 pm

    The suggestion to take 21 days off was music to my ears. I have busted my butt for the past 18 months and I’m tired. I’ve done my part, now going to step aside and let HP do theirs.
    You know, in the past, everything I’ve wanted came from being clear and this “gestating”. I don’t know why I forgot this!
    I’m starting the 21 days today, so I spent the latter of the afternoon at my desk but listening to 80s hip hop, especially LL Cool J.
    “They’re jingling baby! Go head baby!” It’s feeling good…

  • Lea January 13, 2016, 11:47 am

    Perfect timing, Mama Gena!
    I am just about to send invitations on FB for my first women’s group event in my local town. The baby in coming on 29th January and I’ve been carrying it for about a year and a half, since I’ve first been to a women’s group my self. I’ve been listening to the call and I’m very proud of myself for I had to face some of my greatest fears to do that. I’m still a little afraid but so excited and it just feels so right, like I’m going on rails and letting it happen. Cross your fingers for me!
    Loads of love!

  • Miss Kate January 13, 2016, 11:29 am

    Well, I’ve long desired to write a novel and now I’m working on one with my writing brother. I’ve long desired to run a gypsy food truck selling pies and other soul food at folkie festivals. That desire is still gestating and indeed, I’m fit to burst with that baby. That baby’s twin is a desire to travel in our vintage trailer and write stories and take a retreat from the petty high school girl drama at the lovely library I work at.

  • Alecia January 13, 2016, 10:18 am

    I am gestating and giving birth to the ultimate Instinctual Female Leadership Training on the planet.

    Learning female leadership from the White Wolves.

    http://www.TheWhiteWolfWay.com

  • Hanna January 12, 2016, 11:49 pm

    It took almost 30 years, but I gestated my dream job, in my dream location! I start Feb 8th!

  • Ellen January 12, 2016, 9:42 pm

    Darling!
    I have been gestating since the day I met you!
    I launched the gossip blog but now I am challenged in growing a large following.
    I have so many ideas and I am constantly experimenting since, as you know, I am quite greedy. But panic sets in since I just turned 59! Gulp!
    Thanks for this wonderful reminder and blog post.
    I will take a breathe and enjoy the ride in 2016.
    Happy New Year Mama Gena!!
    Love you,
    Prada

  • Nuriyah January 13, 2016, 4:25 am

    Yes!

    After much gestation, I birthed my website which was just published yesterday.

    Thank you, Regina.

    ~Nuriyah~

  • GR January 13, 2016, 4:18 am

    I can’t even begin to express how meaningful this was to me, particularly today!

    I’m a print journalist aspiring to be a broadcast journalist. I snuck out of work to listen to a veteran television correspondent speak; I had woken up (yet again) with that furious anxiety of not getting where I want fast enough. She inspired me to keep going for it, even told me I had “the look.” The talk sent me buzzing.

    On my walk back to work, a light in the W Hotel lobby blinded me. A TV journalist was interviewing a Starwood executive with her camera crew. It was like “driftwood,” as you once called it! And then I check my inbox, and here you are.

    It’s hard to enjoy the journey – but you’re inspiring me to keep trying.
    And your timing was divine, as always. 🙂

  • Purring Delight SG CHantal January 13, 2016, 3:56 am

    I have been gestating the desire for a love partnership for as long as I can remember.
    I have fueled that desire with many tools one of them being Booth Camp at the School of Womanly Art.
    I have diligently adopted the defensive dating method even if it was uncomfortable and LOTS of work.

    I am now at the beginning of a relation with an extraordinary man.

    and your advice on savoring desires and taking baby step is very timely as I am so glad about all this that I would tend to run before I can walk.

    but all my guts are telling me to take it slowly and delight in each and every little desires that are awaken as we walk along.

    slow but steady wins the race.

    Thank you for the reminder…. much blessing to you

  • Rachel January 13, 2016, 3:47 am

    I am gestating my business which has been years in the making. Super excited to be making progress and creating more as I pursue my passions.

    http://www.rachelroseboucher.com/

  • Janet January 13, 2016, 2:25 am

    Letting go of old ideas/expectations about men and embracing my feminine while including men is 2016…and I’m up for the challenge! Talk about gestation time! This has been the deepest, longest, least productive old pattern of my life. Of course just when I was comfortable living with those old beliefs along comes a man who challenges everything! What a turn on! Just when I was ready to accept a relationship, he pulled away. I guess the gestation period to change a lifetime of old beliefs should be savored , if not yet ready to be celebrated.

  • Annika January 13, 2016, 2:25 am

    I’m living my dream – generating fantastic creative clients to coach and consult with as I create my own stories and develop books and other sources into narrative features and television projects! And, of course, I have the love of my life to do it with! All in a world of amazing creativity that tells stories that change the world 😉

  • Ingrid January 13, 2016, 2:14 am

    Fabulous, timely reminder that important projects need gestation time to evolve. The manifestation process may be slow or instantaneous. We often don’t see (or value) all that has gone before that is required to birth something. In my case, I often compare and judge myself as being slow or unproductive when, in fact, I’m designing, gathering or integrating the elements that will bring the project into reality.
    I am creating a Nurse Leadership Program for New York State that will be replicable and scaleable in ways that it can be “installed” in the system. In this way, all nurses working in the public sector will be equipped with skills, confidence and resources to collaborate, communicate, innovate and serve their patients and staffs. They will be able to work with more ease and grace in a system that currently is fundamentally flawed, maintaining their balance and integrity through self-understanding and self-care.
    Designing and delivering Train-the-Trainer sessions, more nurses will be able to conduct these trainings so that the programs will continue to evolve and replicate, creating cultures of trust and accountability…with dance breaks!

  • Estela Sasson January 13, 2016, 1:39 am

    I want to congratulate all the SG with their defined
    paths, sharing their talents with others. May you
    be successful and healthy during this year to enjoy
    the product of your gestation.

    What do I want to create 2016?
    What do I want to create?
    That it is not here yet
    I have thought of healing sessions
    I am still healing myself
    I thought about women’s gatherings
    It is still in my mind
    I have been looking for sisters
    To hold me while I walk
    I have not found them yet
    But my dreams about it is concrete
    I have been looking into creating
    Workshops, parties, and outings
    To have them all meet a soulmate, to be a partner with a man
    Yet I have not done it, my sisters are still busy, what a shame!
    I have gone to old age homes
    And talk to them about hope
    I have given them strength
    I have shown them the way
    To have a meaningful life
    To wake up every morning and ask up High
    To get their dreams fulfilled, in the sky.

  • Suzi January 13, 2016, 1:34 am

    Thank you for giving voice to what I have been living…definitely a frustration of more, faster, better…I’m tired of the marketing of politicians and beauty products…never mind the string of self-help literature that adds to the very same marketing it claims to save me from.

    Connecting to the feminine of the world…guess begins with women…but not just women…I have blamed the media and corporations…and in the end we’re tribes of people…who have lost our connection to our humanity…we’ve humanized our gadgets and dehumanized those who are different from us. It will be through the birthing of the “mother” that we might just get back to something rich and real.

  • Renée Suzanne January 13, 2016, 1:34 am

    I LOVE this post!! Thank you for the very timely reminder to savor my immense desire to create a thriving coaching business helping women find true love. I’m doing it. I adore the women I work with, helping to midwife their desires in the area of love, romance and relationships. I’m enjoying every drop of creating a life I love.

    I never would have taken this path if it hadn’t been for this community. I shudder at the thought of spending eternity in a cubicle and thank the Goddess for pointing me in this direction.
    xoxo

    BSG Renee (aka Frodychick)

  • Kathleen January 13, 2016, 12:52 am

    Best. Post. Ever.

    Yes. Yes. Yes!!

    I am gestating a book that was conceived TWELVE years ago. There have been times I wanted to give up. There were times that I wasn’t even sure what this book was supposed to be; a memoir, a self-help book, a novel?? There were times I wondered if I had what it took to write it and if God made a mistake in giving this idea to me.

    And then I remembered: God doesn’t call the qualified – He qualifies the called. I said “yes” and I keep showing up. I keep remembering that it’s a journey and the setbacks have been part of the process.

    Just the other day I sent my agent 3 fully revised, edited chapters and he said that the writing is vastly better and really encouraging to go out there and get a publisher.

    My time in Mastery breathed new life into this book and rekindled my dream of having my book in the hands of young women all over the world.

    It’s coming… I can feel it.

    mwah!!
    Kathleen
    aka SG Pussy Kat

  • Shakaya January 13, 2016, 12:02 am

    Timely and profound Mama G!
    Instant Gratification is an addiction but it pales in comparison to the sensual simmer of a Creatrix who savours her process…

    I just shared a receiving ritual my clients called Creation Incubator because I’m a Powerful Creator Extraordinaire and we can all be if we are willing to take back our power as Divine Feminine beings!

    Currently I am incubating my by Invitation only 2016 VIP experience that will include Private Mentorship on anyone of my Signature Programs~ The Feminine Formula of Receiving, The radiance Retreat Body Cleanse Detox, or How to Go High-Raw~ AND an Essence Photoshoot WITH a Goddess GOWN designed by me, all held in the beauty and high vibration of magical Maui and possibly other exotic locations!

    I’m dripping just sharing about all that deliciousness, thank you for asking!!!

  • Georgina Rambton January 12, 2016, 11:54 pm

    Thank you for reminding me about how dreams turn up in their own time in their own way. Please can I share how my big big desire/dream came about after 5 yrs. I’d moved away with my twin girls to an island of the coast of UK, I was a single parent and it was nothing but a leap of faith, I had no job and I was a single parent. I spent 2 years looking for a home for us 3 to be happy in and a studio to paint in. We moved 5 times in 3 years. Once I decided that we needed to be in a small town and not the countryside I kept receiving details for the same house from the estate agent, they just kept dropping through the mail box, over and over. In the end I decided to go and see the house. I hated it! It was filthy and so not what I wanted. However when I went into the garden I felt such a strong feeling that I had to buy the place despite the thought that after all our struggles we were going to land up living in a dump, but I recognised the feeling, it’s the one that doesn’t turn up very often – but does when I need to take notice. I bought the house, we moved in, it became a safe place that wrapped itself around us and made us so happy and brought us closer. Three years later sees me decorating the bathroom and theres a guy on the back wall of the garden working on the roof of a building next door. I always thought that the building was someones shed. I spoke to him through the bathroom window. To this day I don’t know where the words came from but I found myself saying. I am looking for a studio, Ive looked for 5 years, do you know anywhere I can rent. The guy looked up at me astonished, told me that the building he was repairing (not a shed after all) was a studio. Cut a long story short, the studio was as big as my house and the man who owned it came round to see me showed it me and offered it rent free, he loved my work and just wanted to see me paint! His wife had used the studio and she had died 10 years previously. He never bothered me, I didn’t pay electric – nothing. When he died I bought the building of him and I knocked through the garden wall and the studio is at the bottom of my garden now. If someone had told me that buying that house would complete my life in ways I had not imagined I wouldn’t have believed them. In fact I’d given up looking for a studio, I was working on the kitchen table. It just turned up when the time was right and in a way that I always try not to forget. I’m so grateful. Thanks again. GX

    • Susannah January 13, 2016, 12:15 am

      Georgina – what a beautiful demonstration of your desire and a reminder of how the Universe works in such wonderful and mysterious ways.

    • Tamara January 15, 2016, 1:47 pm

      What a wonderfully inspiring story! And I so know that feeling. I’m also looking for a place with studio/ session space and garden space. I’ve been in a tiny temporary place for a few years now, moved almost every year before that, and have no idea where I am to go next. You remind me to be alert, and relaxed, and just wait for that feeling. Thank you for sharing your story! Much blessings to you! -Tamara

  • Betsy Ames January 12, 2016, 11:38 pm

    Love it.. I desire to sell my house for a certain amount and buy or rent a new one with ease in the next month!

  • SG Annette January 12, 2016, 11:26 pm

    Wonderfully wooftastic receiving this email today! I’m gestating this desire, long time desire, to find the real true me. I’ve just always been waiting for it to happen, for me to see the big signs and for the right time. Well my kids are bigger and it’s time for me to do some exploration and soul searching. This is the year of me! #hello2016

  • Jewl January 12, 2016, 11:24 pm

    Thank you Mama Gena for this wonderful realization you’ve given to Me and thank you to all of you beautiful sisters who have inspired me today and helped me clarify my own dreams. I seem to have a challenge articulating what it is I desire, probably out of fear of mistakes, and reading all the beautiful comments produced an ah ha “yeah that’s what I want” moment that resonated deep within me. I’m excited!

  • Nancy January 12, 2016, 11:13 pm

    Was feeling a bit anxious about the slow pace of manifesting a line of fabric products for sale this morning. I knew I needed to let the process take as long as it needed to take, but….still felt impatient UNTIL I read your post!! Thank you. Thank you. 😉

  • Linda January 12, 2016, 11:11 pm

    I am gestating a huge desire of mine; to recieve my masters degree in nursing. I am currently an RN with an AS degree. I tried to pursue by BSN but between 3 kids, a husband, working full time and just life in general, ive put my schooling on the back burner. I currently moved it to the front burner and enrolled myself in 1 class this semester! Baby steps; but my desire WILL HAPPEN, even if its one class at a time!

  • Elana (SG Siren Seductress) January 12, 2016, 11:05 pm

    Oh Mama!
    I needed this post today!! What a powerful reminder! And not only does this fast food culture make it hard to savor the desire if it is not quickly attained, it can also make you discount all of the amazing gorgeous desires you have already created/fulfilled!
    A major elephant desire I have is to create “writing toward peace”- an organization which uses creative writing to build bridges between people in conflict. I want to travel the world giving workshops in this methodology which I have already had the opportunity to share with people from Israel, Palestine, Jordan, India, Pakistan, Egypt, and the U.S.! More goddess! I want to make it official????

    I also want to express my gratitude at my most recent desire being fulfilled, having a child. After 3 years of trying, after 2 failed IVFs, my son was conceived naturally 3 weeks after a surgery. Talk about not on my timeline.
    I also want to celebrate the writing and publication of my first book of poems, also a 5 year process from glimmer of an idea, through many drafts…I was following a compass, instructions from GPS– I did not even know I was writing a book — I was exploring the questions that mattered to me.

    Your post reminds me to tap back into that spirit with everything I do. Thank you.

  • Carla January 12, 2016, 11:05 pm

    Mama Gena! I was just speaking to you this morning… telepathically …. As my alarm clock went off. I was telling you how I needed to hear your words today, I needed to be reminded of my feminine power. Usually, when I feel as though I am being run over by masculine energy, and having a hard time staying true to my feminine, I reach for your book. But somehow, in the last 6 months, and through various redecorating and rearranging escapades at my house, I have misplaced my pink book. The Bible to my feminine and womanhood has went missing… I nearly pitched myself a fit because I couldn’t find it over the weekend… And then I got to work and opened my email, and wa-la! Here you are! THANK YOU! Your words are exactly what I needed to hear today. Working in a world and a career that is over run with male testosterone, I often have to tell my co-workers to slow down, and quit pushing. I need time to savor and watch as my desires, dreams, and ideas unfold. So this morning, like every morning for the last year, I am thinking, and dreaming, and desiring a creative career for myself, where I can work in Texas or California during the cold winter months, savoring a warmer climate. Then return to the Midwest, to be closer to family during the summer months. I am also desiring and dreaming of a man coming into my life, to be my partner, friend, and lover. Six years ago, I took some of your advice, and I wrote out a desire list for my life (which I review and add to almost daily)… and then I took a good hard look at myself and my life, and how I approach relationships, and I wrote out a desire list for the man that I seek to have in my life, as a partner, a lover, a friend. And now, I am ready. I am ready to meet “him”. Desiring, conjuring, and creating. Today, I am celebrating these dreams.

  • Latrice January 12, 2016, 11:05 pm

    As always, your messages are right on time! I’m gestating my desire to build my handbag business. I have been designing and sewing one of a kind handbags as a hobby for many years, but for the last few years I have been taking baby steps towards growing my hobby into my primary source of income and lifelong dream. I’m not there yet…far from it…but for the last year or so I’ve been learning how to appreciate the steps I’ve made (regardless of how small they are). In the midst of my tiny steps forward, I’m now excited to have a Desire Incubator Process to focus on. Thank you, Mama Gena!

  • SG Jules January 12, 2016, 10:45 pm

    Thanks, Mama Gena, for the witty words shared about the Desire Incubator Process, which, as usual, made me laugh !!! … and to the SGs who commented as well … I’m gestating a career change, and it feels like this incredible, huge thing to come. I had a meeting with my vice-principal and have started talking about it. It feels great ! I’m also gestating a desire to have a house in the countryside. Best !

  • Leubgythe January 12, 2016, 10:44 pm

    I’m gestating a project (“Cherished Baby”) to reclaim the sanctity of birth, supporting pregnant moms, babes in the womb from pre-conception and very early pregnancy); thereby a more peaceful world. Babes in the womb know more than we’ve realized and are ‘wired’ for love and growth OR fear and protection. Science AND wisdom traditions support this–we’ve just lost it and it will make ALL the difference if we truly welcome children. We can all support these incoming souls…

  • Tamara January 12, 2016, 10:40 pm

    Thank you Gena!! So inspired by your email and all you women who have posted here! For me, a life changing event forced me to give up my Veterinary Medicine Career, something I loved. I was almost killed in an accident, and the physical ramifications have been tremendous and have reached into all aspects of my life. I lost everything, but not my life! Through this experience, I have looked to my daily practice (I meditate, pray, practice some Buddist philosophies and also some Native American Traditional practices, gratitude and I’m pretty tenatious and upbeat) and, though western medicine has been only able to help me slightly, I was fortunate to find some complimentary therapies that have assisted me greatly to be able to walk and use my hands more efficiently, and to also deal with the pain in a more healthy way. I had practiced some of these therapies on animals from a young age, not knowing there were names for what was just a part of how I lived, but when I learned there were names for this work, and when I experienced such an amazing improvement personally, I set about becoming certified in Reki, HeaingTouch, Bowen,Sound Healing, etc. and am building my healing practice- thrilled with how I can help and enrich others lives! (And, yes, also animals! Even, amazingly, wildlife!) Have always been an artist, (mother and older sister were artists… genetic, I guess!) but had only used my creativity as an adjunct in my medical career. Now, I’ve become more focused on my art- creating one of a kind jewelry designs, (focusing on the healing properties of stones- an extension of my healing practice) as well as photography, and have been slowly getting my work in galleries and boutiques locally, as well as taking more orders for custom jewelry pieces for people. Have also contributed to community art projects and other community volunteer opportunities- whenever I am able to participate. (These experiences have brought me such joy!) I had also walked away from performing and singing to pursue veterinary med and I am just starting to delve back into this, and am so excited, and terrified at the same time!! 🙂 Yes, still limited, some days my hands won’t work, sometimes I have difficulty walking… not easy in any way, but I am determined to make the most of what I can do and blessed that I have life! Things in gestation- expanding my jewelry and photography into galleries and boutiques nationally and doing much more custom work; developing my housewares designs; expanding my healing business to be able to help more and would love to do some time traveling with a show or event (have loved working at shows and events that have come into my area); developed my website, blog and pod casts; find more frequent opportunities to write, perform and sing; and continue to learn, develop and connect and collaborate with others to facilitate each other’s path, and to love! Wow, putting it all down here feels amazing! You may see some of my work on FB at Te D’Agostino; Heart Stones; and Riverside Studio (Narrowsburg N.Y.) Love and encouragement to you all! Rock on Sistas!!!

  • Chiara January 12, 2016, 10:38 pm

    I loved this post. Thank you. I am finishing my Master degree, which is a result of doing vision work. For this year, I want to do what I love and create financial abundance with it. I also want to take time this summer to make a few prototypes of blankets and other home accessories.
    I want to create create create and be a channel for the universe.
    Love to all of you!!!

  • Martha January 12, 2016, 10:30 pm

    I’m gestating a desire to have a new job. I am gestating a desire to move forward professionally and take the risk of doing something that has not been my ‘title’ before.
    I’m gestating books that I feel the push to write and publish
    I gestating artwork
    I’m gestating creating an uncluttered home with ‘places for things and things in their places.
    I’m gestating a new level of comfort with myself and a letting go of past incidents that have affected me and that I have not been able to control – can’t control others’ behaviors – have to let them go and gestating the realization that their attitudes end at the end of their energy and are not mine to manage or connect with. Gestating a protective beautiful shield from unwanted energy so that it bounces away.

  • Sharon January 12, 2016, 10:29 pm

    I desire to put my body back together. I am grateful that I have the time to finally devote to making myself well again.
    I brag that yesterday, I swam 3/4 of a mile (100, 40 foot laps) and walked 1 mile. This is huge for me because a few years ago
    I was homebound due to a very small non cancerous brain tumor that caused permanent brain damage and left me with a condition called dysautonomia.

    • Tamara January 12, 2016, 10:45 pm

      What an awesome accomplishment!! You rock, Sista!! Love to you!!

    • Carolann January 13, 2016, 12:44 am

      Well bragged! You and your body are working beautifully together! xo

  • Maria Stenvinkel January 12, 2016, 10:27 pm

    I got goosebumps from your post. Your words go BANG – directly into my heart. Thank you for raising your voice and for saying what needs to be said.

    You’re incredible!

  • Ruby Red January 12, 2016, 10:27 pm

    I’m gestating my desire to enjoy all aspects of my work more: “Have fun no matter what!” All the parts I dislike, I’m transforming the process so that I can bring more fun into the drudgery aspects.
    And I’m dreaming of retirement someday, even though there is no more terrifying word to me, as a happily self-employed woman. The baby steps will be to take more time for myself and my wife to travel, or to just relax (!) and enjoy life. I”m trying to detach my self-worth and identity from my work; huge challenge! So this is a really looooong term gestation. Thank you, Mama, for the concept!

  • Nathalie Lussier January 12, 2016, 10:23 pm

    This is divine timing and oh so needed in our fast-paced society. I’m also 7 months pregnant, so literally gestating at the moment as well as figuratively. I’m desiring a strong local organic food-based community, and lots of amazing opportunities for my child to grow up learning about nature.

    • Rachel January 13, 2016, 3:48 am

      All that & more for you and your family. 🙂

  • Kim January 12, 2016, 10:19 pm

    You are speaking my language this winter, Mama! (And that was en excellent use of the f-bomb – totally made me laugh out loud.) I’m gestating a new spiritual path and practice for myself this winter. I plan to call on my own process to help clients with their own spiritual lifestyle development, but not now. For now, I’m hanging out in the womb…

  • Pamela January 12, 2016, 10:11 pm

    Thanks for your timely reminder. I am gestating a desire to have my own Food TV show and to write my second cookbook! I have a website where I post videos often and I love to inspire others to create health and magic in the kitchen. I was on Beat Bobby Flay as a judge twice this year!
    I loved being a judge and sharing my knowledge with the world!
    I am taking a plant based cooking course right now to expand my food knowledge as I think we all need to eat less animal protein!
    I also have a desire to perform… to sing and dance. I have no idea how this will manifest but somehow it will!
    I am savoring the wait now that I read this… enjoying my time in my kitchen and in my life!
    I am grateful to you and this incredible community which you have created!

  • Leigh January 12, 2016, 10:06 pm

    I’m growing my desire to become a queen of hospitality. As a chef, I’ve worked in many beautiful environments and plan to own an Inn on the coast. I want to live in, and care for people in a healing environment. First, I want to improve my current home to reflect all of the talent I have in creating a place where people love to spend time, and feel welcome. Then I will expand to the next level of becoming the queen of hospitality.

  • Claudine Liss January 12, 2016, 10:06 pm

    “Allow yourself to feel turned on and excited as you imagine living your dream….. Feel turned on as you imagine what you want. It’s like pouring fuel onto your dreams. Like meditation, this requires daily practice.” YES!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS MUCH NEEDED REMINDER TODAY AS I BOUNCE UP FROM MY MOVIE WRITING ABYSS. I bounced out of bed this morning, at 3am, after yet another sleepless night –remembering my duty to other women to stay and be turned on. A lesson that truly hit home after last January’s Intro weekend. As a TP member, I was privileged to hold space for hundreds of women. Out of my own pain, I saw the need to stay a turned on women (beacon) for other women. Yes,, just like meditation, it takes practice! It’s mind-blowing to receive this blog post today! Thank you Regena!
    The big giant baby I’m gestating over the next 10 years – my own media production company that supports healing and joy in the world! 😉

  • Dr. Tracy Kembnle January 12, 2016, 9:59 pm

    I really like this concept. I think that it is something unique to women (being gestators – I am sure spell check is having an issue with that word). I think if we can learn to enjoy that growing and building period and see it as part of the “DO” in destiny management, we would enjoy the journey so much more. Thank you for the insight.

  • Rachel January 12, 2016, 9:57 pm

    I am gestating a desire for my divine right relationship!

  • AJ January 12, 2016, 9:53 pm

    Oh this is great! I am gestating a desire to find my life partner, and am starting an accountability partnership with other women to manifest this. I have incredible success manifesting at work and other areas -even becoming pregnant months after I decided to adopt a child no become a mom!- but this has been different. The reminder to savor the wait, and honor the love I have already, is a great one.

    • AJ January 12, 2016, 9:59 pm

      Sorry, typo^. Not ‘no become a mom,’ but ‘and to become a mom.’ ????

  • SG Tracy Brosnan January 12, 2016, 9:52 pm

    The magical timing of your message….every single thing you said is what I needed to hear…
    I am so, so grateful that I met you. I am so, so grateful for your brilliance and your wit. I am so, so grateful for our magical timing and your reminder to let myself and my desires be…
    I desire a long term, loving partnership with a kind, intelligent, accomplished, funny, witty, sexual man who I can feel loving me and holding me even when I am not with him.
    I desire to begin to tap into my “something more” even though I am not quite certain what it is and to have fun and enjoy the unfolding of my “something more”.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  • Polina January 12, 2016, 9:50 pm

    I want to move to London from Moscow and get rid of 20 pounds!!) As well as to get a job of my dream in the nearest 3 weeks!

  • Sister Goddess Bonnie January 12, 2016, 9:41 pm

    I am a Boot Camp grad and attended Immersion in Miami in November. Gena prodded forward my desire to rejuvenate both my marriage and my business. I am happy to brag that both are flourishing….but there is always room and time for improvement beyond my earlier wildest dreams. It just keeps getting better. Thank you, Gena. PS: I’m about to celebrate my 70th birthday, so it’s never too late to activate a desire.

  • genaingeneral January 12, 2016, 9:34 pm

    And I’m starting a blog, Gena in General, soon. Thought about it for few years. Btw, my daughter used to call me Mama Gena when she was two. And she lives in NYC. It’s fate. I must attend one of your sessions one day! Soon.

  • genaingeneral January 12, 2016, 9:32 pm

    My daughter changed hers at last minute before college started. And is now in grad school with wonderful things happening. I changed mine several times. Finally joined Army ROTC for a ‘career/job’ but my real passion gestated several years even using my army days…to become a screenwriter 20 years later with film made and now I’m becoming novelist, etc after more gestation. You are so right. Wish I’d savored that wait more. But I am trying to now. Thanks

  • Amanda January 12, 2016, 9:32 pm

    Dear Mama Gena,
    Wow, I really needed to read this! I dream big, I’m filled with desires and I want to make it all happen now. Oftentimes, I pile too much on my schedule, feel overwhelmed and then shut down. It’s an exciting time in my life: after 14 years working in the corporate/nonprofit world, I’m back in school full-time studying the human body and starting my own business. I want it all now, but will definitely put your desire incubator process to work. Great things are happening for me, and I needed this reminder to enjoy every moment.

  • Amy January 12, 2016, 9:30 pm

    I have been reading Tarot and oracle cards for over 10 years. I just recently became a Certified Angel Card Reader. I would love to read professionally someday. It is also my deepest desire to raise my children by the beach and to travel and hike with them all over the U.S. Right now I am a teaching, so money and time is tight. But I do love dreaming about the life I want, and for now we enjoy hiking and traveling locally.

  • Heather Braund January 12, 2016, 9:24 pm

    Thank you, I so needed to hear this today!

  • Carey January 12, 2016, 9:22 pm

    I really enjoyed reading your post; letter; blog update whatever you call that; thank you! I found it comforting, validating and inspiring; just back from a weekend women’s retreat w 38 beautifull powerful awesome women! So the pot has been stirred and I know I need to work on courage and finding my
    Voice ( even at age 49) ; yes it’s true; i get confused between allowing myself to express, sing out, drum and play and love and be BIG and then holding silence, not wanting to take up too much time or space; fear of judgement
    And not being good enough; that is the old story ; the new story is
    YES I am powerful, creative, loving and magical and I have music and healing love to share w the world!

  • Kristen January 12, 2016, 9:16 pm

    I loved this email! So much of what Mama Gena says (and many sister goddesses) articulate so beautifully what I am feeling (and feeling discouraged about). I work in a very deadline driven, product oriented environment and it really gets me down sometimes. I’m all for productivity but not at the expense of a quality process and some joy! The feminine knows how to embrace both. This was exactly what I needed to hear. I am gestating a new job. One that will allow more time for creativity (on the job and off) and honor the process as much as the product.

  • Laurie January 12, 2016, 9:12 pm

    As I expand my ability to receive I am gestating a life filled with like-minded people that laugh, create, connect with each other and Divinity. I am on stage inspiring, motivating, teaching and lifting others up. I am creating products, services, books and movies that do the same. I am flow and joy and love and fun and Spirit personified.

  • Foxy January 12, 2016, 9:09 pm

    Absolutely fantastic. Thank you for the reminder and, as ever, your awe-inspiring, butt-kicking, ground-breaking, K-A perspective. YES! YES! YES! <3

  • Barbara J. Simon January 12, 2016, 9:08 pm

    I am gestating an Indiegogo Campaign for my voice studio. Am working with several marketing experts who have worked with others on these kinds of campaigns. They say that the hardest part it is trying to come up with the appealing perks / giveaways that attract the larger donations.

    Three years ago I started working on a playful product for my studio – I worked over a year on the concept, design, production issues, several mock-up versions – then not knowing how to use it, I put it away. But I knew I loved it, and would come back to finish it when the time was right. Now, as I show it to my trusted friends, we all agree it is the perfect Indiegogo perk that will attract a lot of attention.

    The project gestated. My desire for it grew. I had the faith to pursue it, without knowing how I would use it. And now – here it is. A powerful sign that I’ve been on the right track all along.

  • Lorraine January 12, 2016, 8:58 pm

    This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you for the reminder to savor the desire and allow it to unfold in it’s own time. Ah. Much better. Thanks Regena!

  • Councilwoman Joyce Burges January 12, 2016, 8:56 pm

    I am campaigning to become Mayor of the city of Baker, Louisiana….It’s what I’m been preparing for over the last 6 years. I desire it and I was built for this elected position. Thank you for the encouragement.

    • Purring Delight January 13, 2016, 3:09 am

      The city of Baker deserves you !!

      Go for it ! So shall it be or even better !

    • Rachel January 13, 2016, 3:45 am

      Awesome! I just was teaching about how there have not been enough women in politics over the decades. Best wishes!

  • Holly hummingbird January 12, 2016, 8:55 pm

    Beautiful post Regina!!
    I’m creating a telesummit on all kinds of healing from energy healing, nutrition, fengshui shui etc. since I am the antithesis of techy and I lost my list when computer broke I feel like I have to start all over but it’s going to happen !! Then I will start a mentor ship program to train young massage therapists to be excellent!!

  • anoek van praag January 12, 2016, 8:48 pm

    Just wanted to say, tell your daughter NOT to declare a major
    The first year is all about required courses , no need to declare, almost nobody understand this
    It is costly and useless to declare a major and then switch
    best to both of you
    anoek