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Why “getting there” isn’t enough.

Sometimes it’s just a huge accomplishment to get where you just got to.
Like, if you haven’t worked in a while and then you land a way big gig, there is a huge fat sigh of release.
This sense of relief and accomplishment when you hit a big goal, is huge. And not to be underestimated in any way, shape, or form.

Damn girl, you did it, you got there, you made it.
That is huge.

And yet . . .

I have noticed something about the nature of woman, in these many years of teaching women’s empowerment to thousands upon thousands of women of every age, shape, size, and background.

Getting there is never ever enough for a woman.
Getting there bores her after a while. She feels lifeless. And kind of dead. And utterly disempowered.

Which is not what she expected. She expected to feel . . . complete.

The problem is, most of us do not totally understand what it means to be complete.

Most women don’t get that completeness is waaaaay different for the feminine than it is for the masculine.

So, it begs the question.
What does a woman need?
What does she want?
What feeds her exuberance?

Freedom. Creativity. Heart.
A sense of aliveness. Connection. Community.
She needs to be able to pour her life-giving essence into whatever she is doing.
She needs to feel seen, valued, witnessed.
Her life force, her erotic power, her inner fire – must be expressed, or she will ever-so-slowly wither and die.

And I know you know women like that. Women who seem to have it all, but their inner emptiness is not just depleting them, but isolating them from their truth, parching their soul and drying up their life force.

You can tell by that forced sad smile that tries to protect you from her loneliness.
And how she doesn’t let you in.
Because she feels so wrong that everything she wanted – and got – isn’t leading her to aliveness. But rather, the opposite.
She has unwillingly set up shop and now manufactures deadness in her life, every single day, under the cover of success.

The cost of aliveness, for a woman, can sometimes seem too high.
We are afraid to upset the apple cart. So we just quietly rearrange and polish the existing apples.

What does it take to shake her soul awake?
To have her live the full throttle enthusiasm she was born with?
One ingredient.
Which is an item that has been left off a woman’s ‘to-do’ list for centuries:
Turn on.

We have been told to do everything and anything, but not turn on.
We have been told that when we dip into that well, we are setting our bar too low, that we are rubbing elbows with the worst of the feminine – the whores, the hellcats, the harlots.
That if and when we turn on, we will turn everyone off.
That the only righteous place for the expression of that side of our truth, is in bed with our husband.

But the truth of that turned-on side of a woman’s power is very simple: it’s everything.
It’s the way you love your children.
It is the way you pray.
The way you lift the coffee cup to your lips knowing that your beauty is eternal and all who gaze upon you are forever enhanced.
It’s the aliveness in the way you love.
The way your truth rests lightly and lovingly at the tip of your tongue, sometimes gentle, sometimes harsh like a cat’s tongue.

Turn on is our teacher.
It teaches us our infiniteness, it teaches us to reach past what other people consider our maximum potential and create limitlessness for ourselves and others.
Turn on is you, glorious. You, outrageous. You, unstoppable.

Healing and fixing are yesterday’s games.
We are women who want and need oh so much more.
We are women who want to grab life with both hands, to create the lives we want and deserve.
To splash our paint everywhere on the canvas, and roll around in it.
We want sex that breaks us open to god– sweaty, quenching, drenching, soul-filled sex that leaves us simultaneously hungry and filled.
We want to live every single one of our passions with style and precision, loud and proud.
We want to turn every no into a yes.
And turn every yes into even more than we could have imagined for ourselves.

Turn on is the paradigm that I have devoted the last 30 years of my life to create for women, and myself.

And in case you missed the announcement earlier this week, we just opened registration for The Experience – a live, two-day immersive introduction to The School of Womanly Arts, happening in NYC on December 2nd – 3rd.

This weekend event is the place for you to connect to this sacred part of yourself that has been excluded from every conversation, but is the power source to creating the life you long for.

If you are yearning for more, and feel ready to unlock a whole new paradigm for what’s possible in your life, I invite you to check it out and explore the possibilities right here.

And meanwhile, I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s topic:

•  Have you ever reached a goal, and felt somehow empty?
•  What feeds your exuberance, and aliveness – and how often do you prioritize it?

Come add your voice to the conversation, in the comments below.


Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts

P.S. By the way, The Experience event is my gift to you . . . we don’t charge tuition for this intro course because it’s your opportunity to get a felt experience of this work, and decide if you desire to go deeper. You’ll leave with a new lens on your challenges, your desires, and your potential—along with actionable tools to create the change you most long for in your life. I hope you’ll decide to join me!

Click here to read all about the weekend, and register now!

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17 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Veronica August 14, 2017, 9:04 pm

    Love it, Love it, Love it!
    As someone who is coming out of a 5 years self-imposed celibacy and getting out of a dead marriage, this is just what I need to completely shake off the shackles.
    I forward the email to two girlfriends and we are all attending.
    This quote speaks to my soul, “We want sex that breaks us open to god – sweaty, quenching, drenching, soul-filled sex that leaves us simultaneously hungry and filled”.

  • Barbara Zanelli August 12, 2017, 8:07 pm

    Yes!!! I’m starting training in orgasmic meditation for just this! When women are unstoppable, the world will be full of Love for everyone!

  • Fpxy August 10, 2017, 9:30 pm

    Love this. Thank you so much for the reminder, Regina. And for the way you do what you do. xxx

  • April August 10, 2017, 2:06 pm

    This is what I want, “We want sex that breaks us open to god – sweaty, quenching, drenching, soul-filled sex that leaves us simultaneously hungry and filled.
    We want to live every single one of our passions with style and precision, loud and proud.
    We want to turn every no into a yes.
    And turn every yes into even more than we could have imagined for ourselves.”
    I am tired of settling. I deserve so much more and I don’t think I should have to apologize for it. I do not believe my goals are lofty or fantasy or out of the question. They are my desires and they are what I want and if they seem to far out for some then they are not the people for me.

  • Valerie August 10, 2017, 12:07 pm

    Loved today’s message! I just recently achieved a serious relationship that I have been wanting for a long time….but somehow, the aliveness that you speak about seems harder to maintain when you live with another person. Why is that? Is it because we are conditioned to believe we have to ‘take care of them’, make them happy, therefore losing time for ourselves? I do worry that if I don’t focus on him that we will weaken, but I feel the emptiness of not focusing on myself.

    I love dancing, writing, reading…sharing with others. ART of all kinds. Nature. These are things that make me feel most alive.

  • Ceci August 10, 2017, 6:56 am

    YES! I was just telling a friend of mine that I enjoy being turned on. And there are so many times when a simple conversation or “platonic” connection can bring me there. I enjoy them so much more these days because I realize that anyone who has a problem with my turn on, well – they have a problem, not me. I don’t need to or want to turn down my volume or dim my light for anyone.

    I have achieved so many milestones but the one that stands out is when I finished my second marathon and spoke to my dad who was interested only in the time it took to finish it. When I hung up from him my initial deflation led me to believe I would have to run another – to please him, to win his approval. And then I realized that I had run two, I’d injured myself in both, and I was complete.

    These days when a young woman speaks to me of marathons, I can speak with joy at what they brought me. I encourage her to simply enjoy each step of the journey towards the race as well as through it. And that is enough. I can be turned on with and for her as she stretches for this goal. I don’t need to do it again because I know my turn on is in every moment that I fully embrace.

  • Shannon August 10, 2017, 12:32 am

    I looked at myself today and saw a sad face. Feeling unhappy with all that I have done so far, yet I should be jumping for joy! I am an amazing photographer, business owner, creative, and loving person. Thank you for reminding me it all in the pussy~!

  • Kelly August 9, 2017, 2:03 pm

    I’m 41 years old and the only major goal I set and succeeded at was graduating high school back in 97..I was a high school dropout and wasn’t happy going for the G.E.D., because to me it wasn’t as great as graduating with my class and getting the Diploma while my family witnessed that moment!!! I’m still not feeling complete..I don’t have the career I had dreamed of and that’s mostly my fault for the most part..If I could go back and redo some of my life over again I would and then I’d be where I wanted to be today

  • Irene August 9, 2017, 12:24 pm

    Love this! I felt this was written to me, for me!
    I have felt dampened my whole life …. from a young girls I remember turning it off to please. I followed others dreams to find myself unfulfilled and wondering what was wrong with me . I’m now in the process discovering myself — my exuberance and aliveness awaits and I already feel alive with just that thought. Thank you!!!!!

    • Lucille August 9, 2017, 1:03 pm

      This is so refreshing and such a reminder to be true to ourselves. For years, I was striving for more and reached my goals but I wasn’t happy. I made a decision to pursue my passions , simplify my life and focus on myself. I am tge happiest I’ve been in years and so are those around me. I look forward to continuing on this journey and surriunding myself with people like you!

  • Mari August 9, 2017, 12:21 pm

    I’m learning to be alive and to live my life with a great passion rather than with greater caution. I spent the first half of my life hoping not to disappoint my parents and the second half of my life hoping not to disappoint my inlaws, only to discover I was just trying not to disappoint myself. Turing 50 this year and thou I have lived, I have not lived with the fire and passion I know I have inside me. So “turn on”, or “flick that switch”, that’s what I’m going to do. This past year I have distanced myself from people, events and emotions, so that I could build myself up and find my way, on MY terms. It has been a journey of self discovery. I’m still feeling like I’m at the bottom, but there’s only one way out when you reach it..UP.. I didn’t need permission just direction. Thank you Mama Gena.

  • Beth Villante August 9, 2017, 11:59 am

    This blog was on point for me today. This is just where I am right now. As a RN in the specialty of hospice they say it takes 5 years to become a master in your field. I have been learning, growing and working my a$$ off for nearly 5 years and I know that I am excellent at what I do. The thing is, and you described it perfectly, I want to do more! I want to have an even greater impact! When I am providing great care, helping people and their families shift their perspective to experience the beauty and depth of love in the death experience, I am exhilarated! The more I push myself to grow and to give the more passion I have for all the things and people that I love in this life. One thing I have learned is that you have to fan the fires of passion otherwise they will dim and get cold. Fanning the flames is an active process and it takes putting yourself first. Filling your cup to overflowing so that you will be able to fill the cups of others. Once I figured this out (which I admit has only been in the past few years) I give myself permission to be who I am. Wild, sexy, passionate beautiful ME! I make no apologies for being Me. I love my body which inspires me to care for it. The more I do that, the more I energy I have to care and love others. We women have had it backwards for so long!!! Any-who, thank you Mama Gena for giving a voice to the passion and beauty of Womanhood and giving us all permission to be the beautiful, sexy powerful humans that We are! I look forward to attending one of your events in the near future!

  • Katie August 9, 2017, 11:45 am

    Good Goddess I needed that! What a powerful reminder…Thank you!! <3

  • SG Jean August 9, 2017, 11:42 am

    Wow! In the middle of this realization right now! Accomplished my huge $$ and position goal this year and realize I am hurting myself totally and it is NOT what I thought it would be! I am currently recovering from being sicker than I have been in a very long time which I have been told is greatly from stress… so I am excited to truly follow my desires as I am honoring and rediscovering with the help that I got during Mastery. Have learned … money isn’t everything and if I am not honored respected loved and cared for it just isn’t worth it! I have been pushing boulders uphill because I can and realize I don’t have to! So looking forward to my REAL life!

  • SG Jules August 9, 2017, 11:17 am

    Thanks for the invitation to participate in today’s blog :)…I think one of my latest favorite frames about turn-on is from my daughter, 18. She recently read the pink SWA tools book. That was (and is) a connected experience for the two of us. At one point, she quoted from the book « Am I right or am I right ?» with a turned-on look, while raising one of her eyebrows at the same time. I loved that moment 🙂 Just then, I felt a rush of something better and greater for women at large. Thank you writing it, Mama Gena ! XO

  • Toni Baker August 9, 2017, 10:44 am

    Wow…this one really smacked me right in my face!
    I just recently discovered that I’ve put myself and all of the things that stir my passion on a back burner while I care for my mother and my husband. I’m working hard to find time for me again before the person I used to be disappears.

  • Sibylle August 9, 2017, 10:32 am

    Love love LOVE this!! It’s why I’m a Passions Priority Coach! <3 As for the questions:
    • Have you ever reached a goal, and felt somehow empty?
    Not that I recall, but then I've never really gone for "worldly success" in a big way.
    • What feeds your exuberance, and aliveness – and how often do you prioritize it?
    Dancing. Connecting to wonderful, alive people. Loving. Shooting my bow and swinging a sword. My life has changed *completely* since I started prioritising these things, and yet, I still forget sometimes! It's all a journey… constant learning and growing in joy and pleasure and love.