Darlings – These living national treasures, my best friends and honored teachers, have done it again! They have written their best book yet. Imagine what 70 years of combined research in the area of sensuality and orgasm can do for you, for me, for our guys and gals!!! I love this book because, after you read it, not only will your orgasms be better, but everything will. And who doesn't want THAT? A woman that owns her sensuality owns her LIFE. Meet them and learn more in the following interview. - Mama Gena
School of Womanly Arts: Can you describe the work that you do?
Vera and Steve: We help increase the level of pleasure in a woman’s body, specifically with her sensual experience. We teach women to be more in touch with their feelings and more in touch with their bodies, and to increase the level of the intensity of their orgasms and the length of their orgasms. We think a lack of knowledge has shortchanged women in the pleasure department and we seek to provide that knowledge through our books.
SWA: In your books you describe an orgasm that is very different from the type of orgasm most women experience. Can you describe what a women is capable of?
V & S: An EMO or Extended Massive Orgasm begins on the first stroke and can continue indefinitely. The basic difference between an EMO and an orgasm of the "simple" variety is that instead of tensing the body, one has to relax as much as possible; there is constant attention to the present pleasurable feelings and sensations that one is experiencing and not to any future oriented pleasure. The ability to relax and focus one's attention allows one to experience an orgasm for many minutes and even hours, not just for a few seconds. Above all, there is a lot of pleasure.
A lot of women don’t even realize that they could be having pleasure whenever they want -- that orgasm is not something you get to, but that it is something that is happening in the body all the time. Pleasure is a natural state. People put their attention on other things. But if a woman puts her attention on her clitoris or on her genitals, she can experience pleasure anytime she wants, and that is what our book Instant Orgasm describes -- how to get to that place. A lot of women imitate men’s orgasms. They tense up their bodies, wait and wait until they get to a point of no return, then experience a 10-second orgasm and it is over. But if a woman learns to relax and feel and place her attention on her genitals, she can have orgasmic sensation from the start that lasts indefinitely.
SWA: When you are working with women and they blossom and become more feeling and more orgasmic, how does that change them and their lives? What kinds of things do you see?
V & S: It completely turns their whole world around in many cases. Many of the women who come to us to discover an extended orgasm are very intelligent and educated in many other ways. This area is a completely new step for them. The world becomes full of possibilities. They become happier and more attractive. And they will attract a lot. They become better at what they do in all aspects of their life. They blossom. They become more generous, kinder. More loving. All their senses get increased -- they smell the earth, feel their feet as they walk. It becomes a life-changing experience and it’s wonderful to see that happen in a woman. And men too. Men feel great about pleasuring the women in their lives. They become better people, too. We just had a husband and wife come for lessons. They were ready to get divorced and now they are so lovey dovey -- you should see their faces. And you can be 20 or 70 years old; it doesn’t matter. The blowout of this new experience is just marvelous. It doesn’t have anything to do with age.
When you can own your orgasm, you become a full human being. It is about reaching your potential. You become in charge of your pleasure instead of wondering about it and being chased by it. It’s like taking a tiger by the tail…
SWA: What do you think is the biggest obstacle to women having this, to accessing their pleasure, full throttle?
V & S: We are conditioned against having pleasure. We live in a pain-oriented society, so there’s a lot of resistance about how you jump inside of pleasure. I think the biggest fact that is keeping people from it is that the information isn’t readily available. And even when it is, there are a lot of people who warn others about staying away from this information. They are afraid their religion won’t let them or somebody else won’t let them. We wrote a book called Extended Massive Orgasm. Most people wouldn’t want anyone to see them reading it on a plane.
SWA: But who wouldn’t want an Extended Massive Orgasm? Right?
V & S: Everybody wants that, but they’re afraid of it: they think there’s something wrong with it or them or that they’ll be judged. This is why we don’t pressure anybody to overcome that. They have to find it themselves. We wrote the books so this technique would be available to more people than just the few who can come to us for a session. They can seek a wonderful orgasm without worrying what people will think of them, and do it with a passion by reading about it and testing it in their own private world. We want to spread the word as best we can. That pleasure is available. And it’s not difficult. And it’s not ugly.
SWA: And we are very grateful to both of you for doing that for us. In reading your books, I see that you are also relationship experts and you talk about things like communication and the man-woman game. What do you see as the biggest divide between men and women today?
V & S: We wrote a book called To Bed or Not to Bed which discusses a lot of the differences between men and women, how to relate on a higher level to each other, and how to get to a more intimate place. Summing it up to one thing is tough… How we really say it is, “Men are dumb and women are angry”. But it’s more than that. When men are dumb, women think that men are being mean. Women are mean because they are angry. They’ve been treated like second-class citizens for so many years. They are actually better than guys in a lot of ways. A lot of the anger is covert anger
SWA: Do you really think men are dumb?
V & S: They’re dumb socially. Not every guy and not every circumstance. As far as intellectually or mathematically, they’re just as good as women are or better in some ways. In a relationship, they’re dumb. They say dumb things that piss a woman off and they don’t do it deliberately.
SWA: You said earlier that in a lot of ways women are better than men.. tell us more please.
V & S: Well, they are more functional than men. They can turn themselves on... they have something that we’ve termed “call.” Women can turn themselves on and men respond. Women can respond to other women. Women can turn on the world where men can only respond. When a man wants to turn on a woman, it doesn’t work. When a woman turns on a man and he then responds, then the game is on. Women are more functional. They can turn on and be turned on. We have found this out by research over the years by watching men and women relating. We are not the only ones to have discovered this.
Women can have babies. Women can breastfeed. The genes are half and half. But the nurturing part of the egg the mitochondrial DNA comes from the woman, the mother.
And, as we mentioned earlier, women have the capacity to orgasm indefinitely. The head of the clitoris has twice the number of nerve endings than the most sensitive part of the penis does. Anatomically, women are built for pleasure at a much higher level than men.
SWA: Thank you. It is so much fun to hear good things about ourselves as women.
V & S: Especially because this side of women has been made fun of and mistreated. This information has been withheld from society. Women have never been educated. Neither have guys.
SWA: So how do we educate our guys?
V & S: One little piece at a time. By being nice. By being nicer. Guys like to succeed, so by having your guy succeed, he’ll want to do anything for you. If he is doing a good thing, tell him he is doing good and he’ll keep doing it. And if he is doing a rough mean thing or something like that, give him another opportunity to do something different.
SWA: That is such good advice. And it takes a lot of discipline to follow it.
V & S: The more you do it, the easier it gets. The more you do it and the more you start winning, it is really a wonderful reward. We call it eternal vigilance. Of course, you do say stupid things and you get angry once in a while. The more you experience pleasure, the less angry you are, and the length of your anger shortens. We met each other when we were studying these issues, and we’ve been married for 25 years. We’re together 24/7 pretty much unless he takes a week off to go someplace or run an errand, but that is how we live. We call each other when we slip out of something. We catch each other. The communication helps the orgasms and the orgasms help the communication. We can’t teach unless we practice. It’s not possible.
Drs. Vera and Steve Bodansky are guest speakers at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program. They are relationship and intimacy experts and the authors of Extended Massive Orgasm, To Bed or Not to Bed, and Instant Orgasm.
