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This Week's Question and Response:What to do when the spark seems to be gone?
Dear Mama,
What do you do when you know the love is there, but the spark of the romance is lost? I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We've lived together for a little more than a year. Lately I just seem to get irritated at his touch. He tries to be cute and loveable but it just doesn't turn me on like it used to. What can I do?
Signed,
Without A Flame
Dear Without A Flame,
Clever girl. You are suspecting that there are actions a woman can take when the spark sputters. And you are so right!
See, when we meet a new guy, we are filled with the thrill, the excitement, and the wonder of it all. But the excitement of a new toy only lasts so long, right? Then, does it have to get chucked in the back of the toy bin with all the rest of the toys, I mean boys, you have lost interest in? Absolutely not. You actually have a shot at creating an experience with a man that can be even more interesting and fun than the excitement of something new. You can begin to make yourself a student of pleasure.
Whaddaya mean, Mama?
Well, when the excitement stage has passed, a whole new world is opened. You can really begin to focus on each other’s pleasure, rather than the butterflies in your stomach. Each of you can begin to learn what makes each of you the happiest, feel the sexiest, and what you enjoy the most. You can study each other’s pleasure, and even schedule the creation of pleasurable experiences in each other’s lives. You could have a little dose a day. Because you can expand pleasure infinitely. You know how a musician can get better and better at playing the guitar each year? Well, you can get better and better at pleasuring him, and he can get better and better at pleasuring you, every single day.
Does it take practice? You betcha. Is it fun? You know it. You can teach this man to be a Yoyo Ma and you can be the cello, and vice versa. He can play you like the instrument of pleasure that you are, and you can play him. Does it take a lot of practice? Yes. But practice leads to true artistry. There is a whole world of pleasure out there, waiting for you two to explore, that is way more fun than excitement. See my books for even more tips!
Yours in pleasure,
Mama
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