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How Come I Never Get What I Want?


Have you noticed this phenomenon?
Sometimes you just think about a girlfriend, and boom, she calls you at that precise moment.
Sometimes you are so “in the flow” that the subway appears and just waits for you to sashay down the stairs.
Or all the traffic lights synchronize perfectly on your way to work that even though you left home late, you arrive at your office early.
And other days, not.
Simply not. Nada. Nothing.
You arrive expectantly at the subway platform and wait 30 minutes for your train.
Not only do you not hit even one green light on your drive to work, but there is traffic and construction, so even though you left on time, you are later than you have ever been.
This phenomenon goes deeper, still.

Certain women seem to be just better than others at putting themselves in the right place at the right time.
These women just seem to get exactly what they want. Consistently.
It is just so irritating.
They seem to rise somewhat effortlessly in their careers.
They always have a guy.
And somewhere fun to go.
What is that???
What is up with that?
And how can I get more of that?

Is there an actual method to becoming the perfect conduit for goodness to land smack on your lap?
Oh, yeah, sisters.
And it has to do with one of the most overlooked ingredients in a woman’s life.
Her pleasure.
It is all about creating pleasure, living in pleasure, and expecting pleasure.
And wherefore?
Most of us were taught to do everything but.
We were taught to suffer.
Work our bones to the bones.
But pleasure?
No way.
No no.

And get ready for this: pleasure is actually a spiritual practice.
Crazy, huh?
But, oh so true.
Experiencing pleasure creates the perfect, loving, gracious, generous, gratitudinous relationship between you and your higher power, which pops you straight into that somewhat elusive neighborhood called “the flow.”
That sometimes you are in, and sometimes you seem to be excluded from.
Let me give you a little example of how this works.
Last Thursday, I had 8 straight hours of interviews to accomplish. One interview every 30 minutes.
Just the thought of this made me cranky.
What did I do?
I dressed in hot lingerie. Black satin teddy, red satin tap pants with black lace trim.
I had my favorite snacks lined up.
I put purple hyacinths on my desk, because I love the fragrance.
And a great new music mix, ready to play.
Between calls, I took a twirl on my pole.
And I ended up having the most pleasurable day, loved the interviews, and I had the best evening afterwards with my guy!!

And guess what?
When you are not in the flow, the last place you are going to want to go is in the direction of pleasure.
(But I will hit you up with some more tips on how to overcome that hurdle, another time.)
In the meantime–right here, right now–let’s do an experiment.
How about doing one tiny trio of things, today, that bring you pleasure. Followed by writing down one desire that you have.
And let’s have you do your own research on the correlation between choosing pleasure and “the flow.”
This is what I am going to do: after I finish writing this blog, I am heading for a facial. A mid-winter treat.
And I am going to buy my favorite green juice, on my way there. And buy one for my esthetician.
I know this will make me feel good.
And I want you to join me in a tiny pleasure trio, today.

Report to me, here on the blog, exactly what you choose to do for your tiny trio of pleasure.
And let me know how it impacts your sense of your own flow.
Tell me what happens–
And how it feels–
And see if it tosses you any closer to the sense of being that woman who is in exactly the right place at the right time.
If you want to go even deeper in this spiritual practice, join me for Spring Mastery 2012.
There are only 11 days left to enroll, unless we sell out sooner.
IMPORTANT: Next year, the price of Mastery increases from $4,950 to $6,500.
So, if you have had Mastery on your “to do” list, now is the time to go for it! Click here to enroll online, or call The Palace with any questions 212-787-2411 x1.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena


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31 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Neerja June 12, 2012, 8:49 am

    I’m going to have a delicious shower with my favorite Jasmine shower gel (Korres), then get dressed and apply my best makeup with the best brushes I have while listening to some great Classic Rock, then enjoy more music on the way to my audition and sing loudly and proudly while driving. I bet it will be a FUN audition!

  • Catherine March 8, 2012, 12:49 pm

    I had to stop and think for 2 reasons: first – what would truly give me pleasure and second – I must be present to the experience. My tiny trio is the time I took to dance this morning, the spritz of my very favorite perfume after my shower and the manicure I’m gifting myself this afternoon.
    My desires, to have the “right” men come into my life and creating my dream life – not necessarily in that order!

  • sister goddess laurie February 29, 2012, 10:15 pm

    dearest beautiful goddess sisters. thank you all so much for the sharing. i love the connection, the inspiration and the pleasure of it all. so excited to play with pleasure. its like learning a whole new pleasure vocabulary and then…… who knows…. the now just gets better and better…. this is feeling really nice

  • regena February 29, 2012, 9:36 pm

    ok, this was an overwhelmingly delicious serving of pleasure!!
    thank you so very very much.
    i loved reading every single one of these posts and took many notes on your incredible ideas!!
    how refreshing it is, to be a community of women, taking each other higher and inspiring one another with the new paradigm of pleasure. i am grateful for this sisterhood.

  • Sassy Wildcat February 29, 2012, 5:54 pm

    Today, I sassed it up at my s factor class and danced to my favorite song. I had a mishap with my metro card going through, so I had to wait 18 minutes until I could use it again. Instead of getting pissed, I went into the nearest store and bought some sassy pink glittery nail polish and some fishnet tights for my next s factor class. Then I came home and put together another sexy outfit for class. Finally, I will be listening to my favorite music as I sashay on to my voice and speech class.

  • SG Michelle February 29, 2012, 10:59 am

    Thanks for this reminder Mama, I have been working my ass off to save money for NYC, squeezing pleasure in between and loved your reminder about inserting pleasure into a busy day so that the busy-ness becomes pleasurable and HOT!

    I am going to go out and buy myself flowers to place around the house, as though I had just finished the premier of an amazing play as the lead actress and received many lovely bouquets. This morning, I cleaned the kitchen and picked up around the bedroom which feels much better. I’m going to do a bit of self-pleasuring tonight, either before or after yoga. I’m going to teach a yoga class that I enjoy doing, one that is for me as well as the students. This always seems to work really well. Then I’m going to go to my sewing and fashion class and do some final alterations on a FABULOUS coat that I am so excited to wear in NYC, and so proud of myself for making after 2 years of classes. Last but not least, I’m going to pussify my living room, take a nap, then wake up for the Mastery call – I’m still in England and so the call will start at 1am, lol! But my man is traveling for work so it’s just me and the cat, and I don’t need to be up super early tomorrow. It feels very exotic and “free-bird” to have to wake up for something pleasurable at 1am, like having a lover knock on my door late at night for some surprise steamy tryst. Hooray!!!

    See you SOON IN NEW YORK CITY!!!

    Tons of love,
    SG Magnificent Starlet Michelle

  • Michelle Medina February 28, 2012, 7:16 pm

    I voted in the primaries today, republican though I am a Democrat just to make a little mischief for Mitt Romney, laid in the sun like my Cat does for an hour and walked on the treadmill for half an hour!!
    I Desire to have my letters to Congress set the halls of Capitol Hill on fire baby!!

  • Rosetta February 28, 2012, 3:37 pm

    Already did #1: stopped by Dunkin Donuts for a large skinny caramel latte and free chocolate glazed donut. And #2: Stopped in the middle of a horrifyingly busy day to put on dangly earrings and lots of bracelets just because they make me feel good. #3: Taking a half-hour to watch the beginning of a movie (The Group) on Netflix. Workday will go solid until 10pm, so I deserve a half-hour on the couch!

  • sister goddess stephanie February 28, 2012, 3:21 pm

    thank you mama!!!!
    this is just what i needed today. i brag that i’ve been doing pleasurable activities this morning without even thinking about it! the first is going to starbucks for my fave coffee drink and asking for an extra pump of peppermint, just because. next, i went to the fabric store and, in addition to a patch for my jeans, i bought decorations for my front door to please me and welcome all who ring my bell. : ) third, i’m going to leave for work early and pick up lunch and dessert for the beautiful women i work with. thank you so much mama for reminding me that i deserve every good thing! you are a blessing to me and it has enabled me to be a blessing to myself and spoil those around me as well. you rock!! my desire is that i achieve financial freedom by paying off my 2 mortgages and my six-figure student loan!! there, i said it!! i’m releasing it to the universe and eagerly await the possibilities for completion to manifest. to all my sistas out there, have a blessed day!!! xoxoxo

  • Barbara February 28, 2012, 3:07 pm

    The two incredibly pleasurable objects are sitting on my piano. Two brand new CDs.

    Within the last two weeks, two of my adult male singing students have delivered to me their band’s first CDs, with them (as the lead singers of course) performing some of their original songs.

    1) I spent part of the morning emailing back and forth with one of them, discussing featuring his CD on my website and showing people how to purchase it. He is thrilled and flattered and grateful. I’m just plain HAPPY AS CAN BE!

    So much positive energy has continued on my voice studio during the last four years. I’m so amazed that my pleasure protected me from the economic difficulties I’ve heard of affecting so many.

    2) This evening, I intend to continue cleaning out closets and cabinets to free myself from the past, and open up new space for new adventures.

    3) I intend to watch the 7:30pm and 11:00pm broadcasts of The Big Bang Theory. Nothing makes me laugh more.

    I DESIRE more singing students that I can take higher and higher, and more students’ CDs in my future and on my website!

    It is my desire that everyone find a career that suits them as well as my voice studio suits me.

    Sister Goddess Barbara

  • Anastasia February 28, 2012, 2:52 pm

    Yesterday, I was in the flow all day and most of this morning by first pampering myself, before reporting to work.

    I woke up and didn’t feel like going into work, so I signed onto and wrote a brag and read other brags. I sipped a yummy cup of hot coffee in the stillness of the morning. I affirmed in the mirror how beautiful and good I am and how I live an exquisite life then showered and dolled completely up; dressed in clothes, jewelry and did my hair and make-up, ushering in feelings of being fabulous and sexy, and topped everything off with my great smile!!! I was floating and full of life energy and over flowing with happiness.
    I showed up to work two hours late, my boss wanted to scold me and I told him to stop that I had to pamper myself this morning and it made perfect business sense. I would be the best productive employee he had and my happiness would be contagious and spread throughout the office; which I was and it did. He just smiled; as did all my colleagues, the entire day.
    This all came on the heels of my man writing me an E-mail informing me he wanted to stop the forward movement of our relationship. The best part is I didn’t miss or once feel rejected by him all day, I was able to love him and let him go; by the end of my day he hd called and I had even missed the call, recalling his statements to me and admitted he wrote the E-mail out of fear but he loves me so very much. Later I called and plan a hot sexy time together. He’s trainable!! Taking care of me; brings me everything I desire with ease.

  • SG Kathleen February 28, 2012, 2:31 pm

    Thanks for the article, Mama Gena!
    I just signed up for Spring Mastery last week, and I am beyond psyched to join the Pleasure Revolution.
    Today, the pleasure trinity will look like this:
    1. I’m taking a 5 minute break every hour to gaze at the tulips on my desk and listen to a favorite song.
    2. At home after work, I’m putting on sexy red and pink lingerie and my pink silk kimono and
    3. Watching a movie (Thrive) with a glass of wine and some dark chocolate.

    4. (and then taking a bath and going to bed early!)

    Thank you Mama Gena and all of you other BEAUTIFUL Sister Goddesses for carrying the message of pleasure and love and delicious revolution. I can feel in my heart and bones that things are stirring and that Mastery is just going to explode some light for me!

    xxoxo lovelovelovetoeternityandback

  • SG Hot n' Luscious Lali February 28, 2012, 2:26 pm

    Ohhh Mama,

    Goodness I have been making an art of my GRUMPS this morning
    But I want to feel good too!!!!

    Things I have to do:
    Clean my room
    Send in job apps

    EECK! Just the thoughts of these two make me feel OVERWHELMED.
    How can I inject more pleasure?

    I’m gonna SC 2x today.
    I’m gonna listen to a great lecture while cleaning my room.
    I’m gonna clean it in sexy underwear and nothing else.
    I’m gonna go out in the garden and maybe do a kettlebell exercise.
    I’m gonna go for a walk tonight.
    I’m gonna call the PALACE because I WANT MASTERY! And I’m gonna ask for help to make it happen!


    SG Lali

  • Oceana February 28, 2012, 1:58 pm

    This article? PERFECT timing! Ahhhh…I love you so much!

    Ok, so this morning I had a fabulous start…I had a delicious cup of coffee with my hot and wonderful hubby, during which time we read Daily Word, our little affirmational daily practice. Then we spend half an hour describing in detail a new house we are conjuring.
    Second pleasurable thing I did was stay in my pajamas while I created a newsletter announcing my red tent event this weekend, which is always fun because I love being creative and making it beautiful, seeing the end product and posting it. Fun!

    Third and most fun was that I ran late and had to rush out of the house to a luxurious holistic massage appointment…so I threw my coat on over my pajamas (!) and stuck my clean clothes into my bag. I got there and announced to my massage therapist that I was still in my pajamas and we had a great laugh…and then I had the most gorgeous massage ever.

    I am going for extra credit, Mama!!! I will do three MORE today!
    Here’s the plan:
    *bring favorite books to read while I wait for my son at his film class
    *wash my hair with favorite scented shampoo and have it look fabulous for the rest of the day
    *snuggle up on the couch with my son and read about Siddhartha with him (he invited me and he is so irresistably cuddly!)

    I plan to add some chocolate to this mix, some favorite music, and glitter on my neckline…

    Sending big hugs and love to you, and heartfelt gratitude for your stand for pleasure and the massive difference you have made in my life. (((LOVE)))

  • SG Karen February 28, 2012, 1:24 pm

    my trio, I made my fave homemade chai tea, My New Mama Gena book arrived, will be spending alot of time with that one 🙂 and wrote my Sweety and love note to put in his lunch .
    My Desire is to find a beautiful paint color and free paint and decor items to make my new classroom devine and lead a group of fabulous women to more pleasure and fun.

  • SG Lois February 28, 2012, 1:14 pm

    Love this discussion.

    I am doing #1 pleasure act of my trinity at the moment – sitting in a coffee shop eating a delicious cinnamon roll accompanied by a yummy cup of coffee. My #2 gift to myself will be to walk down the street to the nail salon and have a pedicure. And finally #3 will be a facial. I have been planning this for a few days, so your discussion is perfect timing.

    My desire is to have our business explode with success and feel joyful about this rather than panicking.

  • S.G. Tamara February 28, 2012, 1:05 pm

    Good Morning Mama and SGs!
    Reading the blog and everyone’s posts has me so inspired. Here are my 3 pleasures:
    1. As I work from home today, I will drink tea from my prettiest, daintiest little tea cups and listen to music that makes me feel good.
    2. I will practice my figure-8 hip gyrations throughout the day.
    3. And, as I work, I will wear my favorite sexy new pumps (even though no one will see them but me).

    My desire is to become the best runner I can be! I REALLY desire to run.

  • AnDREa February 28, 2012, 12:53 pm

    I adore you! Thank you, MG for your Turned on Inspiration. I wish you more and more pleasure……….and more and more power and more and more Flow.

    My wholy trinity of pleasure, that I commit to giving mySelf is……….
    1. a long and leisurely soak in a salt-infused tub of life-giving water
    2. a leisurely saunter in the park………….basking and appreciating the beauty of mama nature………..her beautiful sights and cooing sounds and earthy smells.
    3. grabbing my ipod and my kareoke microphone and singing……..all those juicy songs that get my life-force flowing..starting with Firework!! then I’m a Bitch by Meredith Brooks and then whatever else my big and open heart desires.

    Love the new website!! Love this way to connect with other sister-goddess pleasure revolutionaries!! Thank U! It centers me and reminds me to take good care of ME.
    BTW, I just *won* two tickets to Oprah’s LifeClass taping in NYC on April 2nd..maybe I can stop by the Palace with my dear 22 yo daughter……………oh, Spring Mastery for both of us is on my list of Desires. Here that Flow??? :O)

  • Lisa February 28, 2012, 12:20 pm

    I slept terrible last night and woke up in pain this morning, so my plan is to go easy on myself today. Already I :
    * body brushed before my shower
    * had a lovely cup of tea
    * took time to eat a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast (instead of gulping down a quick protein shake)
    * skipped wearing a bra today (I’m researching my pleasure in going bra-free as much as possible 🙂
    I plan to:
    * do a walk and a dance break this afternoon
    * tonight, do only what pleases me (probably watching Big Bang Theory and laughing with my man) and go to bed early
    My desire:
    * to finalize my hotel plans for the first mastery weekend today!

  • S.G. Kerrie Blazek February 28, 2012, 12:03 pm

    Oh my dear sweet, Mama ~

    I was just telling someone, when they asked how is it that I’m being whisked off to Turks & Caicos next month — that when who you are (a proud Pleasure Revolutionary) changes, what shows up (luxurious Caribbean vacations) changes, too! After completing Mastery last year, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt — pleasure is our portal to the divine. It’s the magic elixir of life! Since I learned to turn myself ON, things just have a way of working out in my favor.

    Today’s Trio: I wrote a lil love note of appreciation for my friend, Jessica. I invited a handsome man to join me for breakfast — he’s on his way! I called ahead to the restaurant to make sure they have wi-fi — and I’m having a BLAST reading your blog while waiting on Mr. Hot Stuff. And it’s not even 9am — how awesome is that!?!

    I desire to meet the most amazing women at Michaela Boehm’s workshop this weekend in Ojai, California and expand my network of women so that my business can reach $160k this year!

    With so much LOVE,
    S.G. Kerrie

  • SG Becky from Oregon February 28, 2012, 11:50 am

    What was I thinking? or rather, Not thinking?
    This is SO true! I’m inspired just being reminded!
    The possibility, the magic, we have right at our
    fingertips. We are so powerful!
    Thanks for the reminder!

  • Devla Imperatrix February 28, 2012, 11:31 am

    1. I will have my pleasure assistant Bruna serve me lunch
    2. I will go Shopping and buy whatever I want
    3. I will celebrate my professional stand of accepting nothing but excellence for myself, and will spend my entire day enjoying the Glorious Ipanema Beach Views, as I sip my ice cool coconut, and then get Bruna to give me a foot massage.

  • Princess Jennifer February 28, 2012, 11:29 am

    Thank you Mama Gena. Seems I needed this mid-winter reminder today!!

    I am going to buy some pretty flowers to put on my desk, make myself organic scrambled eggs, plan to go to yoga this afternoon…may throw in a walk by the water in the West Village. Ahhh…

  • Erika February 28, 2012, 11:22 am

    Here are the ingredients to my 1-2-3 Pleasure Punch for today. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this AM so I definitely need this today 😛

    1. Lotion up my body with one of my favorite smell goods (Miami Heat by J.Lo). Made me look even more forward to the upcoming the Sister Goddess Reunion in Miami!

    2. Ate the most deliciously juicy bites of watermelon.

    3. Posted this response. Oh how I love interacting with the Pleasure Palace 🙂

    And now for my desire….drum roll please…..

    My desire(s) [Just couldn’t keep it down to one] that I want the world to know about are:
    – I desire to receive confirmation about the summer job opportunity that will best meet my financial needs and position me for even more kick a** opportunities.
    – I desire to get a hot and sweet text message from a hottie that I’m seeing about all the fun that we had last night.

    Phew! In my Devil Wears Prada voice, “That is all!”

  • Lauren February 28, 2012, 10:57 am

    Mama Gena I am so glad that this was your topic today. It is in the perfect timing.

    Today I already did a few pleasure actions. I took a slow shower and paid attention to how the hot water felt running down my body. On the way to work I bought a green juice at my favorite place in the neighborhood and bought a magazine and had a delicious ride into work. Today, I’m going to do a dance break outside to get the juices flowing and to get people on the street grooving as well. I am going to go to Yoga tonight and not overplan my night, and I am going to bring my friend a little treat at work:)

    Here’s to living a pleasure filled life one moment at a time:)

  • Lori Hepp February 28, 2012, 10:51 am

    Does it just have to be a trio??
    I’ve already started with a succulent green juice this morning, I am going to take a luxurious bath laced with a wee bit of Lavender and Patchouli, get all dolled up and go to a business whom is hiring for a position I feel divinely qualified to do, and not only apply for the job, but land it! Upon my return home, I will engage in a peaceful meditation,then slather my grandbaby boys darling face in kisses kisses kisses… Oh….I will save some of those kisses for my gorgeous husband tonite. Perhaps hauling out my flight attendant uniform and dressing up as the Naughty Flight Attendant… oh the possibilites are endless!!!

  • poetress February 28, 2012, 10:48 am

    today i woke feeling like there was just too much to do – this is a constant in my life and has been for the last 10 years. I am always behind the 8 ball a dollar short and running late – i want to be that woman you described – so in between the bill paying and the research – and all the writing I am going to make sure i take part in this trio of pleasures and a desire…
    i will fit in a bubble bath – after some time in my garden weeding and planning – 🙂 … my desire to be someone that is self efficient and does it effortlessly

  • S.G. Denva February 28, 2012, 10:46 am

    Mama Gena,

    I hate you. 😉 How did you know I was cranky and needed this?

    So, here goes: I am going to pick up a book from another library. Once I finish I am going to go get a nice, blonde roast coffee from Starbucks and sit down with my notes and two books and outline my qualifying paper. Did I mention that I just received my A.B. from Harvard? I am going to outline my paper in a wonderful cafe and then eat a meal that I made especially for me (pork roast with black beans and mixed vegetables).

    And my desire? To make it to Berlin effortlessly with funding from Harvard and my rent paid for May and June in my current residence. I also desire to conjure the most fabulous place to live while I am there.

    Yours in pleasure,
    S.G. Denva

    P.S.- I will let you know how the research goes. I may even sprinkle some scing on top!

  • Mary February 28, 2012, 10:39 am

    my Pleasure Trio is going to be dance break, going to buy my favorite tea tree mouthwash at Whole Foods (it’s the little things, you know?) and sending my Mom a sparkly greeting card.

    I’m getting juicy just thinking about all these pleasure pit stops in my day! Yes!

    • Esmeralda December 25, 2012, 5:58 am

      Emily I am in the green group right? I have two emails besacue when I first registered I picked the wrong one blue . I visited Sam’s sight seriously you two are so amazing. I can’t wait to have my printer working so I can print off some worsheets. love shelby