Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts
Subscribe to Letters from Mama Gena
Get free tips on life, love and sisterhood from Regena Thomashauer

“I know you want me”? Are you kidding?

Darling,

Do the words “I know you want me” fall flat on your ears? Like a thud. Clunk. Or even a halting screech? If so, you’re not alone:

Dear Mama,
What were you thinking?! I absolutely love you and the work that you do, but why would ever title your event something as trivial as “I know you want me”? Pitbull? He’s a former drug dealer who named himself after a dog. I expect you to empower me and inspire me in the face of this kind of misogynistic nonsense running rampant in society. I haven’t yet taken your class, but I’ve been going to your orientations for five years now, and I’ve always gotten something great out of them. You open my imagination and put me back in touch with the woman that I am. I’m 39, very successful, have a PhD in Economics, an amazing job, great friends. The one thing I don’t have is the epic love affair—but I’d never be so ridiculous as to walk around thinking “I know you want me” in order to get it. I can’t stand women like that. It couldn’t be more shallow. I guess my question is two-fold: Why did you, as intelligent and insightful as you are, pick such a useless and obnoxious title? And, could you please give me some advice that’s actually helpful in creating the relationship I want?
Seriously Annoyed

Dear Sister Goddess Seriously,

First of all—know this—I can’t wait to see you at the Intro Day on January 26th. I am sure I will remember you. There are a few dozen women who are my Intro junkies. They have never done a class, but show up, like clockwork, year after year at Intros and graduations. I love women who cling to the fence. I so understand that spot, after sitting on it for so many years myself. I think there is a worn-out spot on a fence somewhere with my ass-print in it.

And I agree with you. This is one of the most irritating intro topics ever thought of, ever, in the history of woman.
Why is it so annoying?
Because it is a call to action, in a place that most women have no real experience, and no real muscle.
We were basically taught to fluff the despair and the disappointment off our faces with botox, get highlights, implants, and stand there smiling, trying to look perfect, while waiting for our prince to come.
Prince!! Come!!! Here, Prince!!
And Prince wants to come. But he is so confused. He has no idea why he consistently disappoints women and pisses them off so much. So he is gun shy. And unsure of when to make his move and what move to make. Or he’s had his heart shattered so much that his real game is gone. Or his bravado is on overdrive, making him too repulsive to handle. Or no one really taught him who a woman is, and what she wants.
None of the aforementioned guys can ever be counted on to pull off the Prince move.
At first.
But, inside each man, here, there and everywhere, lives a Prince that wants busting out. Every guy wants to be great. To serve magnificently. To contribute. To love.
And so much more, besides.

And the least helpful thing in the world, to a man, is a woman that has no idea who she is, or what she wants, or what makes her happy. Worse still is a woman who has no idea that she is amazing or beautiful, or worthy of love. Disaster beyond measure for a guy? A woman who thinks something is wrong with her. She thinks she is a loser compared to other women, or not pretty enough or not thin enough or not sexy enough to be loved.

No guy can cut through brambles that dense or climb a wall that high.
At least, in the Rapunzel story, she let down her hair.
Remember?
All that nice, shiny hair helped her Prince to navigate, and find his way to her side.
He yelled “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair,” and she did, and it helped, and he climbed and they fell in love.
What are you letting down, Seriously?
Your disappointment?
Your fear?
Your frustration?
While those feelings are righteous, and can certainly be understood and shared by every woman on this planet, they are in no way, shape or form something that will attract a great relationship.
Or a great anything.

And all those feelings of yours are not something that Prince can possibly decode into any kind of mating call. He hears your disappointment and he wants to run the other way. Your fear scares him. And your frustration does not belong to him. It’s yours. And like a car, every 7,500 miles, your need your oil changed. You have been driving way too many miles on old dirty viewpoints that are not serving you or your most deeply held desires. In fact, your 39 years of accumulated frustration are making it impossible for you to get what you want.
Thus: “I know you want me.”
See, if I can get you to change your viewpoint, change your perspective, change your outlook, then I can get you right up next to your desires, rather than your disappointments.
And if I can get you right up next to your desires, then there is no how, no way that you can’t get exactly what it is you want.
And the only thing I care about in this world is getting women what they want.
Why?
Because everyone wins.
Men, women, children, employers, employees, governments, countries.
The only way for the world to change is for women to change.
Like Rapunzel, to let down their hair.
And to live, unequivocally, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the truth of this statement:
“I know you want me.”
So, Seriously, come, try this viewpoint on for a while.
The payoff is unbelievable.

In honor of Rapunzel, I want to give you a little homework assignment from my second book, Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men:

“Write a Little Fairy Tale”
Write down the fairy tale of love that you were raised with. Which kind of princess were you supposed to be, and what kind of princely rescue was supposed to happen? Really do it up with dragons, if you want them, illustrations of you in your ballgown, and of course, the happily-ever-after kiss. Let’s get that story out on the table. Read it out loud to one of your Sister Goddess gal pals. Get a little perspective on the unrealistic expectations you are counting on some guy to fulfill.

Do this little exercise and report back in the comments section below.

And Seriously, let’s get serious for a moment: five years of orientations? It is time for you to take Mastery. No kidding. If just one evening put you back in touch with the incredible woman you are, imagine what we could do together over the span of nine months? Let’s get your butt next to your desires…

If you’d like to inspire another woman to let her hair down, please share this post. Better yet, bring her to Intro Day on January 26th.

This event already happened. Check out The Experience.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. If you really, really want to help another woman let her hair down, check out my newest video series, Someone Who Loves You. It’s completely free and will take you both on an unforgettable five-day adventure.

photo: lizlinder.com

Want more of Mama in your inbox?
Subscribe to our newsletter to get free updates.
38 Comments / Leave a Comment

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Starburst Reinvention Goddess February 9, 2013, 3:32 pm

    BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT!!!!!!! AS ALWAYS!!! MWAH XXX

  • SG Tatiana January 30, 2013, 1:06 pm

    I have to brag or I will burst. I just signed up for the Sister Goddess website. And my membership is processed tomorrow, but I can’t wait. Mama Gena, you don’t know what you’ve brought to my life already. Just from dusting off the cover of my old Womanly Arts book, and reading the introduction, I decided I didn’t have to get a major job right away and started looking for paid internships. I opened myself up to the possible and thought about how much fun an internship would be, or traveling over seas to teach English (right after getting my degree from SDSU). My best friend Shane called the next day with a job offer. I love my job, have my own office, a wonderful boss. I decided to go to cycling classes and faced my fears head on. I survived it with a smile on my face. From then on I knew I could do anything. I now go 3 times a week and do weight training two times a week. Oh and after getting out of an on then off again relationship, that second night of cycling class, I met a guy in the jacuzzi of my gym. He’s a pilot from Europe, who flies in my city and is applying to fly commercial. He’s strong, in shape, smart, and a total teddy bear. We went on a date Friday, which was so much fun! I saw him in the jacuzzi last night at the gym, so we went out to coffee and to see the beach/jets fly over at night. He caressed me in ways when massaging my back and hugging me, that were delicious. Kissed the back of my neck, etc… so sexy. I’m not used to being around a strong and loving man. Patient, affectionate, and not trying to rush things. Yet again, delicious. This was only possible, because I gave up my fear and frustration, like you mentioned Rapunzel giving up her hair. I get to see him again tonight. He re-invited me to fly with him and his crew on a short two hour trip, and I couldn’t be more ecstatic. Yet again, thank you for everything, and I can’t wait until my dues are processed to be a member of this community. It’s already giving me so much!

  • Aine January 21, 2013, 2:16 pm

    *laughs* Am I strange that I didn’t hear the sassy, cocky, annoying “Oh, you know you want me,” arrogant sound that the writer seems to hear?

    I heard a gentle reminder, an acknowledgement- Here. Try this story and see if it’s less distasteful!

    He’s watching you and he’s not sure. Yeah, you’re gorgeous. You’re flat out stunning. It’s not really your body, per se- it’s this something that’s got you sparkling, and he wants you. He really does. So does every other guy in the room. But man, last time he was like “Hey, I totally want you”, the girl? She freaked out. Hollered and yelled about sexism and how dare he.

    But then you turn, and you see him. Your eyes meet, and in your eyes is a sparkle, a flirtatious pleasure. He can almost hear you. It’s like you, knowing that he wants you, that you’re desireable- he knows that you know. It’s a gentle hand out to him, gun-shy and skittish, with a smile and an acknowledgement-

    “I know you want me. It’s okay. I’m not going to freak out. I understand that I’m a desirable creature and that you long for me. So give it a shot. I understand.”

    Even if you’re not promising him anything, you’re giving him a safe space to say “Hey. Can I buy you a drink? Or a ticket to Paris?” Because you know you’re desirable. You know that men (or women, if that’s your thing!) want you. You’re fully aware of it. It means you can afford to be gentle with a skittish guy.

    Because, you know….. you know they want you.

  • robin Kahn January 9, 2013, 9:54 pm

    Yeah, really! Get off the fence, the pot, whatever…Mastery changed my life, too, on a cellular level, on every level. I got out of a marriage that I spent 7 years in marriage counseling trying to save and finally, I saved myself.

    I was in therapy for 20 years and it was helpful, but even my therapist said, “Wow! You really have changed!” I kept talking about antidepressants, I need something, I would say, and then Mama Gena came along and I don’t need drugs, or Botox, or anything. I just have my SG’s and so much gratitude for having taken this leap. Take the leap. You know you want to.

  • KissMeQuick January 8, 2013, 2:45 pm

    thanx for hittin it outa tha park again, MaMa! XOXOX

  • Vulvanica January 8, 2013, 1:56 pm

    “What are you letting down?” Ooooh, so good, SO good!!!!!

    Thanks for this post. I was laughing out loud so hard in the first part, where you said there’s a piece of fence indented with the shape of your arse, I nearly spat out my parfait.

    Seriously Annoyed sounded seriously familiar to me. I’m so that “give me intellectual, sociological brilliant banter, now!” brainiac sometimes. It was great to read and laugh at an aspect of myself in your story.

    Have I ever shared how I got into Mastery?

    I was listening to a Podcast by Dr. Christiane Northrup on a Saturday night toward the end of February 2010, where she clearly stated, “Every woman must attend Mastery.”

    Something about her voice just struck a cord in my guts — on Monday morning, I called and enrolled. Even at one of the most difficult times in my life, deep down inside I was a pleasure-seeking zombie. Go me!!!

    YES! I desire to start this new year like the Firework I am. Letting down all my goodies, wink, and nurturing them first. Cuz my life depends on it.

    So much love and hugs to u,
    Vulv

  • SG Judi January 8, 2013, 1:18 pm

    All of this has been sitting stuck in my craw since I first read your book and the first question that pops out in my mind is…..
    Didnt the guys put us in this position. Stripping us of our power and our divine essence way back when? And now it’s on us to fix it, so that they can have their rightful place, know how to deal with us, while we take on the daunting task of finding ourselves again as women, and reclaiming the right to even desire it again?
    Please, if you could take me, all of us deeper on this, I would live to journey in!

    • mama gena January 8, 2013, 2:42 pm

      hey judi-
      oooh, i can feel your glorious righteous passion and rage through the internet. thank you. thank you. thank you.
      and yes- men are complicit. and yes, women are complicit, too.
      and we go deeper into all of this in mastery.
      not into the blame, or the whys or the wherefore’s.
      but, into the solution.
      and yes, women lead the way.
      now, then, and always.

  • Impera January 8, 2013, 1:18 pm

    YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROCKED THIS! MY DEAR BEACON OF TRUTH & LIGHT. YOU ARE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING ME LET GO OF ALL THAT DISAPPOINTED ME – GONE GONE GONEEE WITH THE WIND – AND OUT CAME THE FORCE OF LIGHT AND LOVE AND RADIANCE – THE TRUE, BOUNDLESS, BEAUTY OF WHO I AM. AND NOW AFTER HAVING ME CONJURE THAT DEEP, EPIC, LOVE AFFAIR OF MY LIFE… WHICH BY THE WAY MAKES EVERY FAIRY TALE LOOK LIKE A DISNEY JOKE COMPARED TO THE LEGENDARY, AWE INSPIRING, THUNDER AND LIGHTENING, REAL LIFE – REAL LOVE THAT I HAVE. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL….THERE ISN’T ANYTHING REALER. AND ANYTHING GREATER WORTH LIVING FOR THAN THIS CONSTANT POURING OUT OF LOVE AND APPRECIATION, GRATITUDE, AND DESIRE THAT MY LIFE HAS BECOME – BECAUSE OF MY OUT OF THIS WORLD SENSE OF COURAGE, TRUST AND DISCIPLINE AND YOUR OUT OF THIS WORLD INSPIRING MISSION, COURAGE, HONESTY AND GENIUS ARTS.

    • mama gena January 8, 2013, 2:45 pm

      hey imp-
      how the f*#k did you get your ‘o’s outside the lines?
      🙂 🙂 🙂
      xo

      • Maiya January 10, 2013, 12:47 am

        I loved those o’s outside the lines!

  • SG Belinda January 8, 2013, 1:06 pm

    That is a beautiful post MG! Thk u so much for the perspective! Love it!!

  • Sg Ti Sugarbitch January 8, 2013, 12:58 pm

    I sat on the fence until sistergoddess.com arrived – then I went for it, first by posting regularly, then with Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp 2010, then with Mastery 2012. I thought it would be too expensive and tiring since I’m in California, but it was worth every flight and dollar. There is a joy to OWNING the phrase, “I know you want me,” that can’t be understood by the mind until it’s been felt by the body. Ahhhh, the lowering of the eyelids, the slight lift of the lips, the arch of the back, and the flood of yes across your cells. Try it, Seriously Annoyed. Once you own the feel, own the words, you own the world. Off to dance!

  • Shannon January 8, 2013, 12:51 pm

    I’m one of the damaged ones – even as a child I knew the Cinderella story (Lesley Ann Warren version!) did not apply to me. And while I became self-sufficient and uber-independent to compensate, so I’d never NEED rescuing, I have wanted it so desperately all my life. My father was violently abusive and used my accomplishments to make himself look good – even trying to involve me with the men he was attracted to once I got into my teen years. When men say they love me I guess I don’t believe it because I am drawn to men who can’t give to me and withhold what I ask for even if they do love me. I feel hopeless in this regard. 55, divorced 16 years next month, last bad relationship ended almost 6 years ago, raising 3 fabulous if I do say so daughters alone. I don’t want to pass this on to them. And yes, I was in Mastery in 2010 so I feel like I failed at that too! I am working with SG Deb now and considering Holographic Repatterning. I’ve done everything else. Thanks for the opportunity to vent… SG Shannon (62 inches)

  • Superhero Space Cheetah January 8, 2013, 12:33 pm

    This is fascinating! In burlesque, “I know you want me” is just one thing we say to ourselves over and over onstage to keep that twinkle in our eyes. It helps us connect with the audience, stay relaxed, and remember we’re powerful, in charge, and super hot. While I get your letter writer’s complaint, I’d invite her to try “I know you want me” as a womantra for a day, when she’s ordering coffee from a barista, or looking in the mirror putting on her moisturizer. A little research never hurt anyone, and the first person to want is oneself!

  • SG Gypsy January 8, 2013, 12:19 pm

    I remember feeling similarly to the irritated author of that message to Mama Gena when I first discovered her books a few years ago. I am a size 24 and COULD NOT fathom that any man could truly want me or love me because of my weight. I had never had a real, loving relationship, even when I was a size 8, so how could it possibly happen now? I read the book over and over and over again and finally decided that if I was to change my life I also had to change my beliefs and my feelings about myself. Prior to this I would have though that saying “I know you want me” was a totally shallow statement made by totally shallow women. But it is anything but when applied in a positive way. Men everywhere had wanted me and wanted to love me, I’d just chosen not to see it because I believed the opposite. At my size, believing “I know you want me” didn’t seem vain and shallow (after all, how could such a heavy woman ever be deemed “vain” in our society?), it seemed absolutely absurd. And yet, changing my mind to believe that I wanted and desired MYSELF even if no one else ever did for the rest of my life was all it took to bring those old notions about my desirability crashing down.

    For the record, I’m now engaged to a admirable, sexy, attractive, manly man who put a huge rock on my finger 12/24/11. I am loved and desired by him more than I could have ever dreamed possible but even more importantly, I love and desire myself beyond measure.

  • Cristina January 8, 2013, 10:39 am

    Brilliant, Mama Gena – I am blown away by this one – I remember when I could totally relate to Seriously, when I went to my first Miami before doing mastery or 2 Inner Circles. Reading your answer and knowing the truth of it from my own experience, I see how far I have come as I have learned to let my hair down and bring in the best relationship I have ever had. THANK YOU. Ladies, if you’re curious, tempted, or any other little nagging feeling inside of you, GO TO INTRO DAY AND SIGN UP FOR MASTERY!

    SG Cristina

  • SG Phoenix January 8, 2013, 10:35 am

    I love it when people get pissed at you MG, and I know you love it too. This stuff is really deep, hard work that you somehow wrap up into a really simple, fun, lighthearted package.

    This topic is so about being confident, not cocky and there is such a difference. It’s not that you need to go around telling everyone how hot you are and trying to convince them and yourself, it’s about inner confidence, about knowing yourself, knowing your uniqueness, your desires, etc.

    Every man I have ever known is attracted to that true inner confidence…whether or not they can handle it is another story 😉

  • SG Jill is MAGIC January 8, 2013, 10:28 am

    I love this post and all the comments. As a former fence-sitter….get thine ass to Mastery!!!
    I am a West Coast Goddess and yes, it was challenging to get my ass to NYC…it felt like I was never home, my life was disrupted and disjointed, kinda crazy…but it was the BEST thing I’ve ever done, the greatest gift I could have given myself. Mastery changed me on a cellular level. I am going for it professionally, artistically and with men…if you were to see a before and after ‘me’, it would be like this little mousy girl trying to hide, and this bright shiny beacon dancing all the time!!! I have so much confidence and self love and trust now – the tools taught in Mastery combined with Sisterhood and Mama’s Fairy dust…It truly is MAGIC. I am so grateful XOXO

    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR January 8, 2013, 10:49 am

      SG

      Your post is the BEST example of all the transformation(s) possible through the SWA!
      Thanks for all your uprides!

      best
      warrior

  • Henna January 8, 2013, 10:00 am

    I love reading this woman’s struggle and Mama Gena’s response! They are like looking at my old self and my more recently acquired perspective side by side. A recent development of my spiritual path is that I decided to start making love with my husband every day. In the past, I felt like sex and his desire for me was somehow belittling the real me – the me that lives in my mind, that is intelligent and respectable. Now I see that it is through physical connection that we arrive at passion, pleasure, adventure, and oneness. Interestingly, he’s started telling me things like, “I want you every day!” I didn’t know I wanted to be wanted… but I do. It feels good. But he couldn’t tell me before because I didn’t want to hear it. Now that I have made it safe for him to want me, he does. We’ve blossomed as a result, and our relationship of nearly 17 years is growing stronger every day.

    • Maiya January 10, 2013, 12:46 am

      That’s beautiful!

  • Gwennie January 8, 2013, 9:57 am

    Years ago I toldy prince I did not need to be rescued. But I did not tell him what I Did want. Now I see the errors of my ways. Perhaps my current relationship can still be saved.

    Thanx

    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR January 8, 2013, 10:40 am

      Great post! Thank you.

    • Superhero Space Cheetah January 8, 2013, 12:34 pm

      Oh honey, you are a TOTAL GENIUS!! Get in there and lay on the transparency — and please report back!

  • BSG Glitzy Cougar Karen January 8, 2013, 9:45 am

    Woah, Regena, this is a big one. Good question, sister! Great answer Regena…I too am still working on letting my hair down…more (it’s come down quite a bit:).

    I have to tell you fence sitters and any other goddess in any other part of the world…get your asses to NYC. We have had women from around the world and I think they would tell you it’s worth it. Stop sitting on the fence! Intro night is but a snippet of what happens here.

    I’m including the latest testimonials…I’m the one in the red dress, but watch them all…they all tell a different piece of the story.
    http://www.mamagenas.com/mastery-testimonials/

    Don’t delay, ladies…your LIFE is waiting!!!

    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR January 8, 2013, 10:37 am

      Love this Karen! You are always inspiring!!! and my thought is…….. that “LIFE ISN’T GOING TO WAIT FOR US” We better “grab on!”

  • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR January 8, 2013, 9:15 am

    Mama G

    I always love your “irritating” and “annoying” topics. They always point out areas of resistance that I need to MOVE THROUGH…..and NOW/soon! Ha! This one may be the most annoying!

    This morning, I was/am HAPPILY making swings (art) out of pipe cleaners and plexi glass, etc. and see your blog which I am TOO curious to avoid (I avoided the last one…..may read it today)

    This IDEA is SO HUGE! (rapunzel) I never “got it” that I have to let down “my own hair” in order to allow a great man to climb to me (even though I have had a couple of phenomenal relationships with men and many great men friends/family in my lifetime)!!!!! I just never thought about it IN THIS WAY!

    This will take me all day/weeks/months to digest!

    Can’t wait to see you intro day. In the meantime, I will be checking out worn fences for your ASS PRINT!

    Best

    Ellen sg warrior ready FOR MASTERY 2013 YES!

    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR January 8, 2013, 10:01 am

      OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just realized that I may be annoyed/irritated because mama g’s blog means that I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for myself and my life. UGH! HA! YES!

  • Jill Viney January 8, 2013, 8:48 am

    feed your own life
    feed yourself sexually, intellectually, lovingly
    feed yourself with a new friend, new music, art, a class learning something new with others
    then bring it to the table for two(do you want to join me?)
    maybe…
    Talk up a new thing you’ve tried–bring him a flower, a netflix, an outing
    Draw him in
    if he doesn’t come, Go on building your self for yourself!
    Don”t make it a one shot! When you are more interesting to yourself, you are more alive to others
    Live and Glow(everything is attracted to light!)

  • Racheetah January 8, 2013, 8:39 am

    Mama Gena,

    Do you EVER come to San Francisco? I would like to do your work, but on the Left Coast.

    Please consider us Bay Area Sister Goddesses and schedule something out this way!

    Thanks for your sassy wisdom shaking us awake to a bold-hearted, full-hearted way to live,
    Racheetah

    • mama gena January 8, 2013, 11:33 am

      come to me, racheetah. we got lots and lots of west coasters in mastery. all i ask is one weekend a month and i will give you back to yourself in a way you cannot even begin to imagine….
      xo

  • She lala January 8, 2013, 8:25 am

    “inside each man, here, there and everywhere, lives a Prince that wants busting out. Every guy wants to be great. To serve magnificently. To contribute. To love.
    And so much more, besides…”

    I live in deep deep gratitude every day that you taught me this! It changes everything.

  • SG Lotus January 8, 2013, 8:07 am

    Hello Mama!

    I just like so much how brilliant you are with your answers, insights and use or compare with those ‘Fairy tales you have always said we thought would be true for us and never were.
    SG Seriously, though I never had the chance to ‘sit on the Fence’ about MGena’s class, I jumped in head first and trust me not easy to do something not common, but so glad I did. I was one of those confident women like you, in my other parts of my life, except my love life! I was shy, didn’t know how to flirt, never confident around men, thought I had to be certain way: But once you take this class Sister goddess this ride gal will take you places you never thought existed in your life! Best part is the ease at which you find yourself loving yourself, your body, confident from that place of a woman/goddess and with a Cherry on top, the ease with which you relate with men an trust me they will want to be close to you, talk to you, be with you!
    And mostLY: the confidence YOU WILL HAVE TRUSTING that you can easily handle any situation with a Guy, because you will trust yourself and what you do, and they will like you for it, since this shows you know what you want, just like Mama Gena says!

    I am proof SG, and trust me if you can, this time don’t just take this step, go for the whole mile! The investment will be worth your life and soul!

    From a former shy, inconfident and not sure of what to do with men type of goddess! I look forward to being with you in this coming Mastery?!!!

    Love and Hug! SG Lotus!

  • SecretLover January 8, 2013, 7:45 am

    Hi Mama Gena,

    The blog did sure make think… Was I raised with an expectation of an fairytale prince?
    What are my expectations of a man? I seem to have a two fold “agreement” with myself. Reality one and a fantasy one.

    Ok… So here goes. This is the script I carry in my head.

    Man and woman, getting together young and innocent, way before the knowledge that something / someone better could be available. Live together year after year, very bored and stuck, but together. Main thing is that you stay together. That is the basis of a relationship. Stay together.
    You love one another, but don’t ever say so or show it in any way. Just stay together. No passion, maybe sex sometimes, but hardly passion or excitement. That is just way too hard work. Just work, live, get depressed and live a life of quiet desperation.

    Then there is The Dream. Arrival of a prince that fullfills all your dreams and reads your mind before you even know what you want yourself. A saviour on a white horse who takes you to a land of cotton candy and eternal sunshine. I am just in it for the ride, I dont need to do anything else than to sit in my beautiful gown, golden locks and eternally young skin. He fullfills me in everyway I can think of.

    Pretty crazy, right? But that is the God honest truth I am playing in my mind like an old VHS tape. It is very interesting to see it in writing. No wonder my relationship is boring and I am bored to death. There is nothing wrong with it, I love my man and Im semi happy. To use a British expression “it’s not bad”.

    But I have no energy to make things better. I try for a while then I stop and get busy with being bored again. Any advice?

    • Leilla B January 8, 2013, 9:58 am

      WOW! That was my story exactly. My husband was my high school sweetheart. It’s been over 20 years and 3 children now. We went through an “its not bad” phase for many years and have re-discovered each other (and continue to). We each had to let go of the identities of who we once were, connect within ourselves separately with who we have grown to be, develop and allow these new people to blossom and re-connect with each other as these new and exciting people today… and everyday. It can be a scary process because you are comfortable with each other and know what you are getting when you stay stuck in the stale identities that are no longer serving you or your relationship. Just know that who you each are at your core doesn’t change and isn’t that what you really love in each other? So don’t be afraid to embrace new passions and encourage him to do the same. Your prince on a white horse in the land of cotton candy and eternal sunshine may be already be right by your side, but if he thinks you need him to be your butler and chauffer, the horse will stay in the stables.

    • mama gena January 8, 2013, 11:30 am

      oh sister, i love how you pulled the panties down on this one!!
      and yes i have tons of advice.
      come to the intro on jan 26 and we will get your engine cranking…..
      xo
      mg