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I know you want me.


It is not easy being The Pleasure Queen, now, is it?
You all know as well as I do, being that all of us are Pleasure Queens of our own little universes. It’s a lot of pressure to pull ‘Queen’ off well.
You gotta look good. Feel good. Do good. Pay attention. Grow. Try new crazy things, like when our sister, the Pleasure Queen of England, flew to the Olympics with Daniel Craig in a helicopter. Or figure out what to do with your life after a gig ends that you totally rocked, like our sister, Pleasure Queen Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is up against right now. Or Pleasure Queen Movie Star Katie Holmes—I mean, where do you look for a date after Tom Cruise? Or Pleasure Queen You, getting your holiday sparkle on, whether you feel full of good cheer or not. Or Pleasure Queen me, who always gets kinda chunky, tired, and cranky right around now. As the days grow shorter, so does my good humor.

And it all boils down to a moment for a woman.
Whatever she is up against.
Whether she is jobless, homeless, dateless, listless, or lacking something she thinks she can’t live without…
It boils down to this:
Will I get up off it—
Whatever ‘it’ is—
And love myself?
Just for the next moment in time.
Will I put one foot in front of another, and take that next bitty step towards my what’s next?
Will I risk the new? The unknown?
Will I choose my worth, or will I choose my worthlessness, in this next, most ultimately important second of my one ‘wild and precious life’*?

This precise moment of choice spurred the creation of my upcoming live event, I Know You Want Me.
Because think about it: Queen Elizabeth might have woken up feeling old and cranky the day Daniel Craig came by. But she had to bring it.
I know you want me, she must have whispered to herself.
Hilary can either have the pinnacle of her career ahead of her, or behind her, after she gives up her seat next month.
I know you want me, she says to the world.
And Katie? Well, will she find an even better guy next time? One who truly loves and honors her? Or not?
The deal maker, the deal breaker?
Her ability to embody “I know you want me.”
At this live event we are going to take you inside that make-it-or-break-it moment of decision that every woman encounters.
When she can either plug into her eternal, unstoppable power – or flounder around aimlessly as she doubts, and therefore squanders, her value.

“I know you want me” happens in less than a moment, less than a split second.
You have to learn to catch it, and reprogram it so you never have to trip yourself up on your own doubt again.

In this 3-hour event we will:
-Identify the moment of internal faltering before it takes you down
-Learn how to counter doubt and make yourself an offer you can’t refuse
-Demonstrate the Womanly Arts and Tools that can teach you to reclaim your glory
-Give you a special, secret exercise to launch you to a new orbit of confidence and fun

This event already happened. Check out The Experience.

In the comments section below, my Queens of Pleasure, tell me those moments that leave you dangling on the precipice of doubt, or glory. Where could you use a little “I know you want me”?

And if you want to test-drive this little red Corvette of a motto firsthand and allow it to guide you (and any passengers you wish to include) to each and every destination on your Desire List, come join me LIVE on Saturday afternoon, January 26th in NYC, 1:00-4:00PM ET. No one gets out of that room without demonstrating her own indefatigable, irresistible, irrefutable power. You have it in you, whether you know it or not.

This course is for:
• Single women who want to give up being the girl who never gets the guy (or girl) she wants
• Married women who want it on their terms, not his
• Divorcees and widows who want to feel hotter than they have ever felt in their lives
• Women who want to remember who they really are in any relationship: with partners, co-workers, best friends, etc.

This event already happened. Check out The Experience.

If you know a woman who’s been forgetting to whip out this ancient Sister Goddess mantra in times of doubt, please share this post.

See you soon… I know you want me…

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

*Mary Oliver poem, “The summer day”


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20 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Imperatrix December 11, 2012, 4:52 pm




  • Tish December 11, 2012, 1:35 pm

    Wowza! I am new to the School of Womanly Arts and it is phenomenal!!! As I sat contemplating your email today, I realized that the last time I remember feeling “I know you want me” was over 40 years ago when I was a young woman. I’m now 61 and I’d let the trial and tribulations of life beat that wonder out of me. Thanks Big Mama for helping us Lil Mamas rediscover the beautiful power of Womanhood!

    • mama gena December 11, 2012, 3:42 pm

      you are at the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life, sister. welcome!

  • T. L. Cooper December 11, 2012, 1:32 pm

    When I read the words “I know you want me” the thought that immediately comes to mind is “But more importantly I want me.”
    See I’ve discovered that when I want me trying to figure out if the world wants me, or how to make the world want me, really doesn’t matter nearly so much. If I want me, how could you not?

  • nathalie December 11, 2012, 11:56 am

    I used to by so shy – no self esteem… Afraid of men, especially good looking men.

    I’ve come so so far. Separated for 3 years and grown so much in that time. Am so enjoying myself and feel so hot and on fire at almost 50! Never felt so beautiful actually…

    There’s this guy at work who is stunning. He is in a bon jovi lookalike band and looks exactly, if not better (how’s that possible?) than the man himself….

    Anyway, i am having so much fun flirting with him. Before I’d have been so afraid or thought I wasn’t good enough for someone like that. He is actually coming to me and flashing me his sexy body parts at work! How is this possible?

    The only thing that’s changed is my attitude and how I feel about and adore myself.

    It is awesome to feel my POWER and sensualness…

  • Lauren December 11, 2012, 11:14 am

    Thank you so much Mama for this blog and for your unbelievable work, I cannot wait until January 26th.

    For me, “I know you want me” has become a state of being, a way of carrying myself in the world, and for that knowledge, I am eternally grateful.

    A few years ago before I took Mastery, I was in such a different place. I was beautiful, smart, fun, amazing… and yet there was something missing. The something missing was that deep down I didn’t FEEL that I was beautiful smart, fun, remarkable. I didn’t own it and even in those glimpses when I did, there’s no way in hell I would have been able to to stand up confidently in that spot. In relationships, I would literally remember feeling, “I’m great, but your better”…and I would give up everything just so that the person I was in a relationship with would love me. (All because I didn’t fully believe in myself that I was that fabulous person.) Well that s**t never works and I discovered pretty quickly that as soon as I fell off my spot, and gave them the power they would flee.

    Since Mastery Mama, I literally walk the streets knowing that I am the hottest thing that ever lived. And the most fun part is that I KNOW IT, in my being. It is an unshakable part of myself. I KNOW that people want me! Why would they not, I am irresistible! What a fabulous thing to be able to feel every day!

    What has transpired since then is that I am making more money than ever, I changed careers, and I’m in a relationship where my girlfriend is absolutely crazy about me…and the more I stand in the “I know you want me” mindset, the more she wants me, and the more things come my way!

    I am again, so grateful for this work. So grateful that I can stand in my power. So grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to learn this. I want this for every woman!

    SO looking forward to this event!


    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR December 11, 2012, 11:49 am

      inspired/inspiring/inspirational POST SG! I don’t know if this is Lauren from the palace or not…..BUT THIS POST blew me away!!!!!!!! YES! needed/desired to hear this NOW! thank you!

    • mama gena December 11, 2012, 3:40 pm

      wow -wow- can we just say- wow?

    • little jo December 11, 2012, 3:44 pm

      you couldn’t express it better, that feeling that you’ve got value to your own eyes and that you’re owning your power all of a sudden and that changes radically your perception of the world around… For me also, ‘I know you want me’ is more of a state of mind, a mindset that makes me smile to the world every day so it smiles me back…Rock on S.G. Lauren!

      • Imperatrix December 11, 2012, 4:54 pm


  • Janelle Evans December 11, 2012, 11:02 am

    I sat here for a minute with an empty comment field, then realized I could use an “I know you want me!” while figuring out how to say “Thank you!” and “Hear, hear!” to the amazing Mama Gena. 🙂

    I’m glad to have this in my tool belt for today! I love Tuesdays & emails from Mama Gena! <3

  • SG Swandala~Sensuous Swan December 11, 2012, 10:58 am

    Thanks so much for this awesome blog post Mama! It’s so uplifting & inspiring!
    Here’s what I have to say to my desires:
    Mastery 2013~I KNOW YOU WANT ME!
    Perfect work for perfect pay~ I KNOW YOU WANT ME!
    Live stream of I Know You Want Me event~I KNOW YOU WANT ME!

    🙂 Just a few of my sweet, juicy desires. Thanks for “this little red Corvette of a motto” and for taking me higher Mama!

  • HawtMama December 11, 2012, 9:36 am

    Dear Mama,
    It’s so good to hear from you today. I’m jobless, facing losing the house, 17yo needs to move out on her own, crazy exhusband. But my Mama taught me to follow my pleasure…and today that is exquisite self care: a green drink, supplements, bragging, a hot bath, and a mani/pedi. I will take myself higher through this gorgeous swamp!

    Thank you!
    SG HawtMama
    ps Hanna is getting her first apartment, and has started eMailing fashion merch. schools in NYC! She’s reaching for those stars~!!

    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR December 11, 2012, 11:51 am

      Hey HM
      Glad to see you hear……..Love your uprides and your posts! THANK YOU!

    • mama gena December 11, 2012, 3:39 pm

      self-care? brilliant choice.
      go hanna!! thanks for the update!

  • Lovely Rita December 11, 2012, 7:31 am

    When my hot Lieutenant Colonel D comes home from Germany , and tells me of his plans to fly me to Korea (new assignment) to visit him;when my friends email me to get together for dinner; when my boss compliments the way I’ve handled my work; when my SG’s say they can’t wait to hang out with me again, oh yes, there is the glory of “I know you want me”.
    When my honey H does not express his desire to rendezvous with me, when there is more month than money, when my closet selection disappoints, when I’ve made a mistake at work . . . . .those would be the times I NEED to remember and purr “I know you want me”!

  • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR December 11, 2012, 7:22 am

    Mama G. I can’t wait for the event in january as I think I can use this “I know you want me” thought/body feeling every day when I am out in the world!!!!!!!! I am going to experiment with this thought/feeling as soon as I leave my apt. today, particularly with men. It sounds fun. I love experiments. Thank you.

    I LOVE MY LIFE! Every morning I wake up naturally at 4 or 5am, drink my favorite coffee, do yoga and meditation, occasional dance breaks during yoga, bike, make art, play music and most importantly do a daily 7:30am spring clean…….. NOW I just have to add your idea to the mix!

    SO GRATEFUL that I came to the SWA!!!!!!!!! It has changed everything and I mean EVERYTHING. I am loving my life even without a man in it! WOW! Living more and more in turn on and gratitude………rapturing everything……..ruptures included


  • Genevieve Parker Hill December 11, 2012, 7:16 am

    Wow, this was perfect for today for me Mama Gena. I just finished writing my first book (today is launch day) and I feel unexpectedly…. down. What to I do next? Will people like my book? Will anyone read it? I’m full of doubt and could use an “I know you want me” moment right about now to carry me through the next phase.
    Thank you for doin’ what you do and making the “I know you want me” decisions. You are such an inspiration!

    • mama gena December 11, 2012, 3:37 pm

      congratulations on your first book!!