Oh, $#!&, I’m stuck

There is no worse word for a woman than stuck.
We can handle pain.  We can handle loss.  We can handle chaos.
There is a beginning, middle and end to those experiences.

But stuck feels like slow asphyxiation.
Like solitary confinement.
Trapped with no oxygen, no windows, and no understanding of how to get out.

Which is the worst part of all.

Because in some way, somehow, we know we put ourselves in this stuck spot.

There are so many ways to be stuck.
It might be a job you kinda hate with a future you don’t want to live into.
It might be a marriage that you knew, from the moment you walked down the aisle, was a compromise.
Maybe you are a drained and exhausted full-time Mom, or a drained and exhausted working Mom, with years of child-rearing stretching ahead of you.
Or you are on that dating treadmill, where you just cannot bear to have another drink with another guy who does not know you, and ask him what he does for a living.

I have to admit I am on a first-name basis with ‘stuck’.
I lived so many years in a marriage I had outgrown.
So so so many years in a job that was low paying and nowhere near the neighborhood of my true calling.
I have even sat down and counted the number of days until my daughter graduated high school.  Single motherhood can be overwhelming.
And dating?  Big sigh.  There and back, sisters.  There and back.

Once you have spent a day, a week, a month, a year, or a decade in that formaldehyde, you would do anything—and I mean anything—to avoid going back.
This blog is dedicated to the woman who is willing to do anything to jump off the ledge of stuck, and leap into the turbulent wonderful risky ever-changing waters of life.

How do you even know you are stuck?
You are irritated all the time.
You can’t think of anything you are looking forward to, except if it has chocolate frosting or extra cheese on it.
You actively run through a long, very long, mental list of people that you blame for your current situation.  Your parents, boss, co-workers, your kids, your lack of kids, husband, lack thereof—you get the picture.  You pull this list out frequently.  It keeps you up at night.  Which makes you even more tired and cranky.
Exhaustion is the nail in your stuck coffin.

I remember this night, once upon a time, many many years ago, when I went toe to toe and head to head with my ‘stuck’.
I was an actress who was not acting.
A singer who was not singing.
A woman with deep longings for partnership who was not dating.
I was lonely.
And dried up.
And imprisoned by my own limitations.

I came home to my tiny studio apartment, after a long day of waiting tables.
And I was picking up the phone to order Chinese for the 8 millionth time, and sit on the couch in my solitude.  But I found myself pausing.
Because I had been invited to a party that night, that I had automatically decided I was not going to attend.
So there!
But then—phone in hand, Chinese joint on speed dial—I thought to myself: I know exactly what will happen if I order Chinese and sit here in this apartment by myself for the 8 millionth time.
Nothing.
That’s what will happen.
Nothing.
And I might be here, just like this for another 10 or 20 years.
Gulp.
Terrifying.
So I made a different choice.
I tore out of the house and headed to the party.
And changed my own destiny.
Which became the beginning of the adventure of this extraordinary life that I continue to live.
And all it took was one choice.
One small change.
One ‘yes’.
One action.
One step.
Which led to another.  And another.  And another.

Which sounds a lot easier than it is.

What led me to take a different action?
Desperation.
And despair.
And the simple fact that I confided, to a new friend, how miserable I was.
And how much I wanted to change my life.
I was seen, I was heard, exactly where I was.

Can you see the first step out of stuck?
Full disclosure.
Admitting your stuck truth to someone.
And then admitting your deeply held desire.

In order to stay stuck, you have to bury both.
That is why this community is so powerful.

In the beginning, it was so so difficult for me to summon the energy to put one foot in front of the other and climb out of my deep doldrums.
I was so alone and so lonely.

But now?
With this extraordinary community of women surrounding me, I cannot stay stuck for long.  There is always someone to inspire or be inspired by.
We all need a hand, now and then, to haul us out of our self-induced, life-induced doldrums.
This is the beauty of The School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program.
The program is structured to dismantle ‘stuck’ and give a woman access to living her most deeply held desires—even if they are long buried inside her.
Mastery teaches a woman to overturn the vat of formaldehyde she has been marinating in, and cut herself loose to live the adventures, the heartbreaks, and the divine exploits that are calling her name.
As you know, you cannot have an adventure, nor heartbreak, nor divine exploit when you are stuck.

Since I have already given you the first steps of how to get out of ‘stuck’, let’s play a little game together. Now.
In the comments below, post an area where you are stuck.  You can be free as a bird in one area of your life, and locked and bolted in another.  We all have them.
Then, state your desire.  Even if you can barely find the words, even if your desire is just a feeling you want to have.

And for those of us responding, we will just fill you with love and support and stand for you in reflecting the beautiful vision of your desire.

Let’s see how many women we can unstuck from stuck this week.
Every time a woman lives her desire, she is not only serving herself, but she serves the world.  It is our obligation, as a community, to stand for one another’s most deeply held dreams and desires.
Let’s see what we can create, together.

With so much love & pleasure,

mama-gena-sig-180px

Mama Gena

  • 188 Comments · Leave One

{ 188 comments… read them below or add one }

Suzi December 3, 2013 at 9:10 am

I am stuck in two categories: money and love. I am living in fear of my expenses even though I KNOW better than to think that way, that my normal mantra is trusting that the money will come. I’m working hard to change my thoughts around money but it is hard. Second, I am tolerating behavior from men that is not serving me and I don’t know how to change it. I keep telling myself that I’m not sure what I want, (date like a maniac and stay uncommitted or seek committed love from one person) but there are two men in my life and I’d like a lot more from one of them. Part of me thinks I should kick him to the curb but part of me says to keep him around for fun. The problem is, the fun isn’t happening nearly enough, and I am frustrated more than I’m happy. I’m stuck.

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mama gena December 3, 2013 at 11:09 am

oooh, i sooooo feel you, suzi!!

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Dani December 5, 2013 at 11:19 pm

Been married 30 years to someone who puts his extended family, including mom and several siblings, first. They take advantage of this and he just can’t see it, and I am becoming smaller and smaller in his viewfinder. To say I’m a distant 3rd, 4th or 5th on his radar would be an understatement. It’s not a new issue, but it is getting worse and worse as we all age, and even though I know he still loves me, he has no idea what makes me tick anymore. The intimacy between us is long gone. I sometimes consider leaving and starting over as a single woman, but the thing that scares me most is that our 12-year-old son would be crushed by this, and I feel I just can’t choose my own happiness over his for the time being. In the meantime, I’m feeling more and more desolate in my own home. Should I wait it out for his sake, or just take a deep breath and take the plunge?

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SG Petra/ Irresistible and Unresisting Iridescence December 10, 2013 at 9:38 am

SG Dani,

I would say that no level of diminished light can benefit any other human in any deep true way.
How much shrinking do we need to allow before we make a move. What if we listened most deeply within sooner?

I was stuck for a decade in work-situations. I felt like I was stuck in a funnel, trying to move either forward or back, but could not move: stuck, stuck, stuck.
I owned up to it, I was actively looking for a way out. I still couldn’t figure out how to ‘move’ or where to ‘move to’.

In the end what helped me was a healing crises: seeking help and finding that help (in my case with Gem Essences that helped me move), and then making changes in my life.
I recently released another stuck part of my life. And though it’s scary in many ways, the energy that this potential is giving me makes me feel so much more alive and in my right place, that I know -even though where to go is not completely clear yet- that this was the right step at this point.

Much light and pleasure to our stuck moments, may they be brief and scarce and may we find ways to listen more deeply within sooner and move through stuck times swiftly and eloquently…

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Lola December 10, 2013 at 9:08 pm

It’s time your put yourself first. What are you showing your son? Choose your happiness no matter where you are. I know it’s not easy. But first find your happiness within the marriage even if your partner won’t share this new found happiness. Make your community, love yourself, put yourself first. Happiness is an inside job. As you get happier, he’ll either join you or he won’t. Then you decide what to do with that. When I left a 30 year marriage, I grew happier but I was already happy. I realized he wasn’t going to add to my happiness so I put myself first. My children are proud of my life.

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Alicia December 3, 2013 at 9:11 am

Mama Gena your posts always seem to have this totally cosmic timing…Oh f*&k, I’m stuck in a weirdly unpeaceful living situation with an incredibly loud couple of neighbors. Lots of uncertainty is making it hard to make wise decisions about my next move. Lack of sleep and peace is making clear thinking difficult. Please don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to have a place to live and feel it’s time for change.

My desire is to live in a place where I feel at peace and my heart is happy where I can truly unleash my creativity.

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mama gena December 3, 2013 at 11:09 am

and so it shall be, or something even better, alicia!!

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Rakel December 3, 2013 at 9:11 am

I feel stuck in my professional life. Something is happening that money is just not flowing ing in.
My vision and desire is to open up sharing my knowledge with no doubts, help others through creative ways, and that abundance enters my life lovingly and joyfully.

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mama gena December 3, 2013 at 11:10 am

yeah, sister!!

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Jessie December 3, 2013 at 3:07 pm

YES!!!! You can do it!!!!

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Denver Diva Karen December 3, 2013 at 9:12 am

Ahhhggg! You’re inside my head again, Mama Gena. Stuck, stuck, stuck. Yet another relationship ended a few months ago, stepping back into dating and dreading it like I am dreading leaving the house to buy a new car today! The weather in Denver is turning cold, snow is expected and I am all alone to watch all of the Christmas movies about love and happy endings ALONE for another year. Holding on by my teeth until Mastery begins (Yay!) but struggling and stuck through another holiday season. ID to find the beauty in my aloneness, the sanctity of my solitude, and enjoyment of seeing the happiness of the season. XOXO

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mama gena December 3, 2013 at 11:11 am

i can’t wait to see you at mastery in march!!
sounds like you in a huge reinvention, karen.

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miss_me December 3, 2013 at 9:21 am

Recently I’ve moved to entrepreneurship and now I work from home a lot. I am a bit sad that I don’t have many opportunities to meet new people and to party somewhere, because all I do is sitting at home. I will be grateful for advice on how to organize my home-working process for it to be more fun and where to meet new people since I don’t go to office or university anymore. I am 23 y.o. and live in Moscow (Russia), if you’re interested.

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Alicia December 3, 2013 at 9:32 am

I work at home sometimes as well. If you have a laptop, try working at a coffee shop for a change of space and opportunity to meet others. Some cities have cooperative work spaces where you can share space, wifi, etc with other entrepreneurs. The public library can also be a great space for this.

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Hellen December 3, 2013 at 10:01 am

When I worked at home I joined several networks of people with the same job. I shared my experiences with them and met new people as well. Through the internet it is easy to find all kind of networks you might want to join and they will inspire your work as well.

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Sister Goddess Princess Tammie Awakened Pussy December 3, 2013 at 10:35 am

Hello miss Me – LOVE MOSCOW – spent 7 years in Russia – get up – get dressed – leave house – go get coffee -n come back to OFFICE MODE – also here in USA I hire college interns for theirm class grade – I put them to work on projects to help me and my business and they keep me company – I have 10 part time interns that rotate in the home office – that keeps you on your toes – Awaken Pussy LOVES comany

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sg lali December 3, 2013 at 9:21 am

I’m stuck in jobs!
I want freedom, travel, lots of abundance, and feelings of EXPANSION in my career!!!!!

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Rebecca December 3, 2013 at 9:59 am

This is where I am, I have a graduate education in a field that, in theory, I love, or once loved. Yet, I am feeling very blah about work. I no longer want to sit at a desk and I no longer want to do something that doens’t feel particularly meaningful. Yet, I’ve worked hard to get here and I make good money…such a dilemma, I take care of myself so the money is important. It allows me to live in a neighborhood I love, and to do the things that bring joy to my life. I do appreciate that and wonder, often, if I am wanting too much or is it possible to get that kind of satisfaction and joy from work?

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Adrienne December 3, 2013 at 2:57 pm

For some reason it’s occurring to me I have a knack for finding people’s “right now money” openings, their “right livelihood” vocation and even their “Million dollar idea!” I don’t know why – it’s not even my specialty (global healing!) but I’m amazing at it! Hit me up on FB to say hi. xoxo Thanks

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Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:04 am

Hi Adrienne,

I just contacted you on FB – would love to talk with you. You sound amazing – I would like help in getting unstuck with money/career. Have tried multiple avenues.

Sister Goddess Janice

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Andrea December 3, 2013 at 9:21 am

My job STINKS! It’s boring, creativity and ambition is frowned upon, I’m being harassed by a coworker — all her supervisors are too afraid of her to do anything — and none of the other jobs I’ve applied for have even called me for an interview. Also, I don’t get paid enough to take the vacations I want to take or even pay off my mountain of student loans. I have a cubicle with a door. I hate the city where I live. It pulls and itches like bad polyester. I am so over dating tepid dudes who I practically have to beg to use me for sex because their ex cheated and they don’t know how to love anymore or are all so busy at some stupid happy hour or on some hash trip! The only things I look forward to are yoga class, red wine, and snuggling with my cat.

I want to write screenplays and make films. I want to live in New York, or LA (or maybe Milan). I want to f$&k off to the Maldives because it’s Wednesday. I want a deeply intimate, hot love affair with a beautiful man who wants me desperately and can’t keep his hands off of me.

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SG Ti Sugarbitch December 3, 2013 at 12:10 pm

Your desires are so juicy! I can feel them dancing with joy and waving their hands, going, “We’re here!”

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Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:06 am

SG Ti Sugarbitch,

I love your name – especially the “Sugarbitch” part.

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Adrienne December 3, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Ha ha, it sounds like you’re working where I used to work – and it was a metaphysical book publisher, for goshsakes! May the bouyancy of your desires bring you exactly where you need to be.

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Malika December 3, 2013 at 9:25 am

Hi there, and thanks for the opportunity to share my ‘stuckness’. Ironically I have done 23 years of readings, channeling and intuitive healing for others to help them unstuck. I was born with the gift to see where people are stuck on their spiritual path and speak (channel) the inspiration needed for them to move on from there. Of course I don’t see it that clearly for myself….and found myself stuck in a relationship that is not happy anymore, no money, don’t seem to find a clarity about my purpose and feel a bit depressed…My desire is to truly shine my light,live and share my gifts to the best of my ability,to be happy,to earn a living doing what I love to do and be able to share my wealth in good ways for our beloved planet. So lovely ladies,if you would like to comment,I would be so grateful, Malika.

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Hellen December 3, 2013 at 10:04 am

Thank you for sharing your gifts with fortunate people. Maybe you can find other spiritual woman who can help you out the way you do with others. Or just join a network of people who have the same interest and background, share live with them!

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Adrienne December 3, 2013 at 3:02 pm

I’m excited for you! Mama is right – just speaking the stuckness pops the lid right off! I would love to take a gander at your lovely merkaba self and see where your next growing step is. (That’s all it is, by the way – risk aversion). Love!

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Malika December 5, 2013 at 6:12 am

Thank you Adrienne, I think it is true,speaking opens the door to getting insight into our story. I am too so looking forward to my next step…..Love,Malika.

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Malika December 5, 2013 at 6:05 am

Thank you Helen ,I am part in a few groups ,well actually almost to many to handle where I give and receive support, so you are right ,being with people who have same interests does help a lot. As to finding someone, well maybe I have as someone here posted they are intuitive. Thank you for your reply,Love, Malika.

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Molly December 3, 2013 at 3:23 pm

I agree that joining a new network of very alive people can change your life. Perhaps a group couples therapy situation could open up things with your mate.

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Malika December 5, 2013 at 6:07 am

Thank you for your reply Molly, love,Malika.

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Denise December 4, 2013 at 6:08 pm

I know exactly how you feel! I am also an intuitive and find it easier to help others instead of helping myself. I spent a few days alone and allowed myself to get to the core of my issues and fears. The truth is within you! And sometimes, it is just better to allow yourself to feel all the pain and let it out when it arises. I am learning to trust myself and set better boundaries with people, especially men. So far it’s helping. There is so much pressure to be, do and have, yet this moment is kinda nice…

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Malika December 5, 2013 at 6:01 am

Thank you Denise, yes I also feel the same about the answer being within and so I have meditated and journeyed a lot lately and so got some lovely glimpses of my energy and how joyful it really is. Had about 6 weeks of dealing with pain lately and now as it is diminishing I can see how it led me to go back inside and stop looking outside for answers. With love,Malika.

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Jessie December 3, 2013 at 9:27 am

I am stuck in two areas – finances and body confidence – and I feel so frustrated. I was just journaling about it and got your email – beautiful synchronicity. I feel like I work so hard, passionately, and joyously in my job and on my health and yet money is still not flowing and I still don’t feel good in my body. Of course I’m grateful and blessed and love my life – I love my bf, my friends, my job, my family, my home, my everything – but I feel like money and a flat stomach have been on my wish list since FOREVER and I don’t know that the missing link is. Why am I so darn stuck in these areas? I don’t know what to do. I feel like I deserve these things after the effort I put in and the inner work I do on a daily basis. I want to help empower others in these two areas, but to do so I feel like I should be empowered in these areas too! Sending all of you blessings! Together we are strong! Wishing FLOW to all of you!!! XOXO Thank you Mama Gena <3

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SCHERAZADE December 3, 2013 at 9:41 am

I feel your concern. I too have the same problem, and it’s not getting better. I wish I can get out of this hole, and live. I find myself crying when I see people that do less but have more. Having things (pretty) are not supposed to be our focus. Believe me once in awhile it wouldn’t be bad.

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Sasha December 3, 2013 at 10:04 am

I run a dance studio and a flat tummy seems to be every woman’s desire. I find its simply not possible unless you have zero percent body fat which to me is a painful goal to ever aspire too. I love mushy tummies. They feel so warm and inviting. Hard abs always seem so cold and repelling. They never seem to make anyone around them feel happy except the woman wearing them. But then even to her it seems like a screen she gets to hide all her own pains behind. Sometimes I wish hard abs could be banished from the earth. Though we keen women would likely just find something else to focus on. I wish that women could see the softness of their bodies as natural, inviting, gentle and loving. I wish our wee mushy tummies could get a whole lot more loving from us. I sincerely think that the majority of us are built to have some softness there.

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SG Hot Mess Sugar Mama Michelle December 3, 2013 at 12:34 pm

Thank you so much for that beautiful spin on soft bellies. There is definitely beauty in it and its curves.

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Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:13 am

I agree – loved what you said about flat bellies being an impossible, self -punishing goal (iron thighs, too) – wonderful to value my softness. Be proud of it. Thanks

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Michlene December 3, 2013 at 1:25 pm

Sasha – Such an awesome response. I needed that for my meditation today. My kids all love my belly, i’m the only one freaked out by it!!

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Jessie December 3, 2013 at 3:06 pm

OMG! I love it! Thank you for giving me a new perspective! I so needed to hear that! Big soft squishy hugs, Sasha!! XOXO

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marie December 4, 2013 at 2:11 am

i call it my jelly belly! and haven’t had any complaints from the male persuasion… i think most men love our softness. <3 <3 <3 to all our gelliness!

Janet December 3, 2013 at 4:11 pm

Thank you, Sasha, for speaking out in behalf of softness. The more I’ve grown to love my soft places, the more I love my body and then I treat her with compassion. Change blossoms out from a loving environment not from hatred.

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Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:15 am

Love that last sentence, Janet. What Mama Gena spoke about this past weekend, too.

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Denise December 4, 2013 at 6:11 pm

I learned to embrace my curves and when I finally stopped torturing myself with dieting and ate what I truly wanted (and savoured) the weight is slowly starting to melt off. I wasted too much time and energy trying to be thin and yet I didn’t see that I am beautiful, just like you are!

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Erin December 5, 2013 at 1:23 am

What a beautiful post about our bodies.

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Malika December 5, 2013 at 6:19 am

Beautifully said! love,Malika.

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elide beltram PhD December 3, 2013 at 9:27 am

I feel stuck when I don’t listen to pussy, when it wants to pout and feel sorry. Respecting static states are ok if we know that we are in a “holding” moment needed before things get stirred up. We see this phenomenon in the cooking process, the alchemical reaction of food. Take bread, it needs SILENCE and CARE in order to RISE or you would have a cracker. So, we must listen to every single minute message coming to us or within us, to that spark, or whisper that often comes to us under a mask, but we have to be open to see it, hear it, feel it. Sometimes we just have to “get off the chair and move on”. (we practice that in my workshops, see my website above)

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sloopyonnaharleyonthehhp December 4, 2013 at 10:43 am

WORD XO
move….

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Lisa Blythe December 3, 2013 at 9:34 am

I am stuck in so many ways. Not living the life I want, in a home I feel good about, blaming my truly bad past for the present and not thinking I can move forward.
Stuck because I have not been so much as KISSED this year and I want an amazing sensual life.
I am stuck in the fear of being a success.
I am stuck in not believing I can move forward and be more than I am now.
I am stuck in the bad choices I made in the past.
and I am DONE with being stuck!
Thank You MAMA! for providing this forum to express it.

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Lea December 3, 2013 at 9:54 am

I am stuck in a job I do not want to spend the rest of my life doing , I have a husband that wanted a child and I didnt want to wait until I was unable to have another child but now I have put myself in a situation where financialy I HAVE to stay in this job because my husbands income alone isnt enough for me quit and go back to school. I have two other children and know I wouldnt have the energy to be mom, wife , work and tend to my home ( having a clean home makes me happy ) and go to school at night UGH!!!!! I am so stuck and have done this to myself!! Now I am bitching at my husband and children ALL the time and if I keep this pace my husband will surely leave and my children will leave to never return as soon as they are of age ….I want to wake up and be happy with what I do 80% of my life HELP!

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Lea December 3, 2013 at 9:55 am

Im pregnant ( forgot to mention that )

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Chantal December 3, 2013 at 1:29 pm

Sweet Lord…team up with your guy to take care of the kids, clean up the house and find way to make money go a longer way….it sounds like your putting all the pressure on YOUR shoulders….ps Congratulation on your pregnancy… I know you feel stuck right now…but I sooo love my 3 grown up sons…they sooo bring me the most intense joy…it more than compensate for the hard work I put raising them as a single mom. Ask for help from your kids too…don’t forget to crank up the pleasure diet !!

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Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:19 am

Sanity is more important than a spit and polish clean house. And if that makes you happy – get help doing it – somehow, someway.

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SG Laura December 3, 2013 at 10:08 pm

SG Lea,
I never felt so stuck in my life as when I was pregnant and let all those areas of my life I wasn’t content with snowball into depression and self doubt. I spent my pregnancy focusing on the negative. I didn’t know about Mama Gena till after my daughter was born. I could have saved myself so much pain and suffering if I had believed that I wasn’t stuck at all. I was physically flowing having that baby grow so quickly inside of me and mentally you’re just at that threshold about to have major breakthroughs to improve your life. Fight for your happiness. I’ve been there. It’s not worth it and it’s so much harder to come back from with hormones. By the way , I value a clean home too. A mothers helper to help with laundry once a week is totally worth the $20. I desire for all Mommies to make their first job to fight fiercely for the happiness of themselves and thus their families.

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Stacy December 3, 2013 at 9:54 am

I feel very similar to the way you seem to…blaming my abusive past for my current problems and feeling unable to move on. I’m also done being stuck!

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Denise December 4, 2013 at 6:16 pm

I totally understand. When I finally just admitted to myself I had pain and guilt about the past, it didn’t have control over me anymore as much. Still learning. I’d rather have several heart breaks than to not even try at love at all….

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julia December 3, 2013 at 9:41 am

Hi sisters, you talking about STUCK, it’s me, in a relationship, motherhood, workerholic, going no where for 30years, still stuck in this situation, my dreams no where to be found and I try so hard to get through what Iwant in life, no education, no profetion can help me through the life Iwant, no boyfriend or husband can take me to the top where I want to be. those I try to get them through they through me like a dirt, sometimes I want to give up, but hey no way
Thank you so much to write this articles, it’s help me so much not to give up
Thanks again
julia

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Cristina December 3, 2013 at 9:42 am

MG, like others have said your timing is impeccable – I was just spring cleaning this morning on being stuck and then I checked my email and there you were! Where am I stuck? In my usual place: overwhelm, exhaustion and ambivalence. I do not have a clue how to unstick myself. I got gloriously unstuck when I did Mastery in 2011 – why a frigging miracle that was!! I took myself to the next level with the help of mama gena and my sisters here. I think it’s like losing weight though, when you’re very overweight the first pounds seem to shed more quickly and easily; then it gets harder. it’s like I’m still full from unsticking so many aspects of me, that I first didn’t see and now don’t have the energy to unstick myself in the more pervasively, seemingly permanently stuck parts. I use overwhelm and exhaustion to avoid “rocking the boat.” Oh and also ambivalence. Yay.

I desire to feel free of overwhelm and exhaustion! I desire to live in clarity, action, truth, self love and self trust!

Thank you!

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kathyk December 3, 2013 at 9:42 am

I am stuck in finances. I owe hundreds of thousands of dollars in school loans, IRs. I am not working right now and I can’t seem to make myself apply for jobs When I do apply they don’t call or I blow the interviews. I do sell vintage items on ebay (allthings4divas) but that doesn’t pay the bills. My man is supportive but I know we could do better if I was contributing more.

My most deeply held desire is to finish my novels, movies screenplays, plays and see them produced or produce them myself. I’d also like for my artwork to get out of my basement and into galleries or venues where people can enjoy them. I like vintage hunting for ebay items so I’d like to keep that going.

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Stacy December 3, 2013 at 9:52 am

I owe about $300K in student loans too – I know that stuck feeling. I’ve considered trying to bankrupt against them but have been told by more than one attorney that’s not possible, so I am using income-based repayment until I find a better job. I have my dream education and I just try to hang onto the pride that accomplishment brings me. I hope that you are able to follow your happiness and have what you want in life.

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Stacy December 3, 2013 at 9:49 am

I am STUCK in a job I do not like and I, too, have hundreds of thousands in student loans and don’t make enough money to pay them. I want to have a better-paying job that is more enjoyable to me, but I’m so afraid of failure that I can’t bring myself to send out resumes.

I am also STUCK because I am lonely without a partner, but I’m too afraid of rejection that I don’t even try to meet people anymore. I want to have someone in my life who loves me and whom I love – that is my deepest, most secret desire – the one I try to play off and laugh at.

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janine December 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm

I feel you, Stacy.

What’s great about being stuck though is that at least you’re aware of it and from that point on you can adjust your outlook on it. It takes a bit of effort, yet seeing it as something that will propel you forward can turn it into an experience that benefits you.

I also desire to be in a relationship. I recently decided to be bold and create an ad online asking for what I want, and several men have shown interest. This experiment was necessary as it allows me to simply enjoy interacting with men at the moment. It also reminds me of how easy it is to modify what I experience in my life with one action.

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magical December 3, 2013 at 9:51 am

Dear Mama Gena, thank you for this great invitation. I am stuck in a life that still is not the full expression of ME. Even though I am creating bigger and bolder already, and learning to uncover and speak out my desires I can feel there is soooo much more of me that wants to be explored, and I stay stuck in don’t know how, or what to do, or not enough time. I am stuck really in I don’t have enough time!! Time flies by and again I haven’t done what i wanted to do. I want to feel fully and completely alive, creative, sexy, juicy, free, inspiring, loving, healthy and intensely grateful for all that is in my life. I am ready for the day when i walk out of my own house, step out of the door and look at all the beautiful nature around me, hear the silence of the area, and be part of a community with my neighbors, be Me, fully, ever growing. In a home that is sustainable, in harmony with Mother Earth, created together with my man and loving friends. Yeah, bring it on…. every day a bit more of this! Thank you Mama Gena! SG MAgical

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Caroline December 3, 2013 at 10:01 am

That’s what I want–to feel the way you describe and not have it be dependent on a man or a job. I want it to be mine. The one time I did feel that way was when I was meditating daily for several hours. That is the only clue I have. Let me know if you find it.

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magical December 3, 2013 at 11:11 am

Hi SG Caroline,

I love that: I want it to be mine…Well it seems that knowing I create my own life, I have to start at the inside. To feel that I can be that, experience that, and actually AM that. These past two days I do more instead of fret over what is the best thing to do. I do what makes me feel happy at that moment. And it helped to have the man out of the house for a few days, and when he came back I started man-training, which is actually training myself to ask, and he cooked yesterday and told me to take a break. To know I can have this and be this in any moment…! And you can too! Good luck! I now I am going to cook the most delicious meal.. yeah!

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Bonnie December 3, 2013 at 9:53 am

I am stuck in blaming others for decisions that I make that don’t take my own needs and health into serious consideration.

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Roberta December 3, 2013 at 10:07 am

Hello Bonnie. I’ve been there too. What helped me was trying to send that person loving thoughts when I got a negative thought about them. Like say I got a negative thought about the guy I live with… I’d say to myself…”OK, there’s that negative thought again… well I’m just going to choose to send him love instead… I send ____ love and light and hope he has a good day.” After a while, the negative thoughts came less often.

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magical December 3, 2013 at 11:13 am

Hello Bonnie and Roberta,

what is great too is Ho’o nopono:
I am sorry
forgive me
I love you
thank you
First of all to yourself!!!!
See you tube dr Hue Len

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Linda December 3, 2013 at 9:54 am

I am “stuck” in my career. Not that ugh I have to go to work way, but the unmotivated don’t want to do anything way. I know I need a change, a different direction. I am just not sure where to turn.

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Caroline December 3, 2013 at 9:55 am

I don’t have money problems. I have an attentive and caring man who adores me, but there is no spark after many years. I don’t have a job. I can live wherever I choose. I don’t have many friends nearby because I seldom meet anyone as interesting as a book. Obviously, there is nothing out there holding me back. My life lacks vitality and excitement. I lack motivation to do anything. I am in a permanent holding pattern and it’s of my own making. (I have many talents. Art, writing, plus two graduate degrees).

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sloopyonnaharleyonthehhp December 4, 2013 at 10:49 am

start with gratitude, baby!!!! make a list, check it twice, of every goodie you got…….gratitude always starts the juice for me! xo

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Missy December 3, 2013 at 9:58 am

I have been in the process of becoming un-stuck for almost a year now. Got free of heartbreak and smoking and a bad work environment. Yay me!
But I’m stuck in this aging body! I’m not 24 anymore, or even 30, and it shows. I try to he gluten-free, I try to move my body everyday, but the gravity and loss of elasticity has got a hold on me! Can anyone help?

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Denise December 4, 2013 at 6:21 pm

It might help to start focusing on what you do like about yourself, pretty eyes, expressive hands, quirky feet ect. and then you will start to love everything else you see. Beauty is in how you feel about yourself! Celebrate your accomplishments, even if it is in small ways :)

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Roberta December 3, 2013 at 10:01 am

Stuck – for years I’ve been living with a man I know is not suitable for marriage, yet I long to be married. Last month I realized he has Asperger’s Syndrome and many of my efforts at making any kind of a relationship with him were like beating my head against the wall. So we’ve been just roommates for several years and I have dedicated 2014 to moving out of this house.

It has been a prison of sorts, taking my very breath. But, like you said Mama Gena, made with these two hands. So now I know. People are where Inspiration comes from and people are what I need more of.

Last night I checked out a writer’s group as I’ve pulled a +long ago+ book project to the table and need some “inspiration” in finishing the thing. There is a New York Times best selling author in the group and he brought the cover to his latest book coming out next month, for us to admire. We also critiqued his current piece. How exciting!

And a few months ago I joined a bowling league. Last week an eligible man from the league asked me out to dinner! Wow! You gotta’ get out there dearies and make your life happen. It will open and unfold for you when you make that first step.

Such a good post. We all get “stuck” now and then. & it is with our choices and these two hands that we get … unstuck. Hugz ><

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janine December 4, 2013 at 8:12 pm

“You gotta’ get out there dearies and make your life happen. It will open and unfold for you when you make that first step.”

Yes, yes. Love this reminder. Congrats on moving yourself out of your ‘stuck’ status.

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Barbara December 3, 2013 at 10:03 am

I’m stuck in the false “comfort” of a j*o*b that is toxic and sucks the life force out of me, but gives me a fairly decent paycheck. What I really want to do is serve women and have luscious Intensives that will turn them right around and get them unstuck — oh, the irony! LOL
Love you and your “perfect and elegant timing”, Mama Gena!
xo

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Vanessa December 3, 2013 at 10:04 am

Stuck in a long-term 5 year separation and afraid of filing.
Stuck with being the mom I want to be, but feeling like I am failing.
Stuck being a Z-list actress and not auditioning enough.
Stuck being 8 pounds overweight, and snacking every night on ice-cream, cool-whip, cookies and crackers.
Stuck ruminating about being 45 and my big dreams having not panned out.
Stuck trying to get 7 letters of recommendation for a private club that is all bullshit anyway. Just can’t seem to get it done.
Stuck being the target of my teen-ager’s daily angst and hostility and letting it make me feel like crap.
Stuck with my messy closets.
Stuck with no new creative ideas brewing and sense of panic I am all dried up.

I desire to be an academy award winning actress and producer making at least 5 million dollars a year. I desire to win “mom of the year award” and get long hand written letters of gratitude from my children. I desire to have the body and career and marriage of Cindy Crawford. I desire to have funny, smart, sexy men fawn all over me.
I desire to be the girl- women- that everyone wants to talk to, sit next to, invite on their show.
I desire to feel strong and kick ass when it comes to my ex-hub.

Whew! Feel better now. Thanks! :)

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SG Debra December 3, 2013 at 10:39 am

OMG Mam Gena, once again, as is said so many times here, you have hot the cosmic nail on the head.
AND thank you for giving it a name other than depressed. I am NOT depressed and I do feel stuck. At the moment stuck with thoughts on a guy I briefly dated (oddly, the time in Miami got the train off the track). There are so few men I meet that I am turned on by that whichever is the last my brain gets fixated on. After being an unhappily married mom for 9 years and a single mom for 10 years after that, this dating thing which was new and novel for about 2 months is getting old and I feel impatient and, well, stuck…like I would rather hide in my apartment than go out.
I also just bought a new business and have not worked in the 20 years I was raising my daughter and feel overwhelmed so I just shut down and go into hiding.
Sounds like I am hiding a lot.
I am signed up for mastery but SO wish it were starting tomorrow

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SG Debra December 3, 2013 at 10:45 am

Vanessa the only thing I can address is the teenager thing. I am sure you have heard this MANY times, but it is their job to become independent and it is healthy AND when you had a close relationship with your kid they have to push harder.
DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!! I am just learning to do this now, and even with my daughter a freshman in college and becoming a tad more appreciative, it is the hardest thing to do.
My daughter would come home from school and blast at me and I would try to fix things and she got even angrier which of course, well it is a vicious cycle….BREATH…and just keep telling them you love them and you have confidence they will know what to do that is in THEIR best interest. Of course keeping your eyes open for aberrant behavior which could be a problem, but that is rare, not the norm

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Michlene December 3, 2013 at 1:29 pm

<3

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Susan December 3, 2013 at 10:06 am

In the last three years, I’ve activated so many desires and begun fulfilling dreams…. But like a mammoth at the La Brea Tarputs, I keep getting stuck at plateaux. Right now, I’m just a few steps away from finishing a novel that will concrete my new career as a children’s book writer… But I’ve been stuck for a year. Also still dragging along a lot of pain and resentment about my ex-husband”s betrayal and sneaky divorce tactics…even though I am in a beautiful new relationship. I am so grateful for all that IS in my life – how do I let go of fear of what could be and anger about the past? Any advice from my sisters would be a blessing xoxo

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toni December 3, 2013 at 10:14 am

i just (proudly) left a miserable relationship, two of them actually. i felt so stuck and bogged down by being with the both of them it was driving me nuts and i finally mustered the courage to say bye! but now i’m stuck with this feeling that i “should” be alone for a few months before i start dating again because i dont want to carry over any baggage into a new relationship… on the other side i feel stuck because i’m tired of not being in a normal happy relationship. i want one, i want to find him already! i am either stuck being single or being in unhappy relationships?

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Debra December 3, 2013 at 10:14 am

I’m stuck because I cannot decide if I want to go to graduate school next year (I took a year deferrment), or continue pursuing a career in Child Welfare. I’m stuck because I’m exhausted from dating and going on bad dates. I’m stuck because I just moved 5 months ago and already feel like maybe I made a mistake. I’m feeling stuck because I cannot reconcile that I want a career in the Yoga/Wellness/Holistic Health Coaching world and making the leap to actually get there while trying to provide for myself and my 6 year old daughter. I’m stuck in indecision and uncertainty about how to go forward.

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Nadsse December 3, 2013 at 10:17 am

Mama Gena, I really screwed up my life. I am in SUPER SWAMP STUCK MODE AND I CANT GET IT UP!! I AM IN FIVE MAJOR RUPTURES ALL AT THE SAME TIME. 1. MY SPOUSE CHEATED. 2. I HAD A STROKE AND LOST VISION IN MY RIGHT EYE. 3. I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH LUPUS AFTER I LEFT MIAMI. 4. I HAVE TO DROP CC BECAUSE CAMPAIGN FAILED. 5. MY STEP FATHER DIED WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. 6. I MAY BE GETTING A DIVORCE. I AM SO STUCK AND I CANT GET IT UP. FEEL ING TO TAKE DEPRESSED. STUCK STUCK STUCK AND MORE STUCK

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Rosa December 3, 2013 at 10:21 am

I dont have a solution for you…but I do have some prayers and love to send your way. Hope things start looking your way very soon. Dig deep for that strength all of us women have to get by.

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SG Debra December 3, 2013 at 10:49 am

Sending you love Nadsse…That does sound like a lot to have occur all at once. What I try to do when I get into a place like that…YES, I could tell you a time when I had 4 or 5 MAJOR ruptures at once…is try to see each thing individually and see how long I think it might be before there is a shift…even with Lupus, you have discovered the issue and now the time to heal is about to begin.
AND you have this AMAZING community of women sending you love and light

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Deborah Smith December 3, 2013 at 11:32 pm

Oh Nadsse,
Sending you tons and tons of love!!!
Tru Angel

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SG Joan Champion of Pleasure December 5, 2013 at 10:50 am

My dearest Nadasse,
It’s so brave of you to state your ruptures here and I hope this is the beginning of your unstuckness. I’m sending you much love and support. I have you on my prayerlist and will keep you there and in my heart. I was impressed with your radiance in Miami, and your inner vitality. I know you are a spiritual person and in touch with the divine within you and surrounding you. You are never alone. Draw on that divine strength to move you forward and out of your hole.

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Rosa December 3, 2013 at 10:17 am

I am stuck in being the push over. Stuck letting people say what they wish and not saying as I wish. I am also stuck in the rut of not doing what I want. I want travel. I was excitement. I want fun. But, I stay stuck at home…doing nothing exciting. I also and stuck on past love. He haunts my dreams. I am stuck in thinking its me. I am un-worthy of love, and that I will never have love or the children I desire so badly…

I am also stuck in my creativity. I have been wanting to write, but fear keeps me from it. Fear of being judged as not good enough. Thats a lot right? lol

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Lauren Harkness December 3, 2013 at 10:26 am

Stuck: In repeating the same relationship patterns with different men. Stuck in the spot of recognizing my role and responsibility in these patterns, and unsure how to change it. Stuck in feeling the false belief that my dreams and desires are impossible when they are actually alive, well and kicking. This feeling causes me to be overwhelmed in a high state of anxiety. Stuck in feeling an underlying, nagging stress all the time when my life is actually beautiful and full of creation. Thank you for this blog and for the community where we can say the TRUTH. All the time.

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Lacie December 3, 2013 at 10:40 am

Killer blog post, MG, and perfect timing as always.

I am stuck in 3 areas:

Money. I KNOW I’m doing my true life’s calling. I love what I do. I’m really fucking good at it. I worked hard to get so remarkable at it and now I can do it in my sleep and still kick ass. But the money is not flowing in. My perfect-fit clients are not finding me. I want to be a magnet for all the people who I know I can help. I want them to be wowed by what I can offer and beating down my door trying to get access to it.

Relationship with food. This is just my barometer for the other stuck areas, but I end up biffing about it and thinking everything will be better if I can just stop emotional eating. I know that’s backwards thinking, and what I really need to do is make non-food pleasures a discipline, but I often feel at a loss about what that even means.

Love. My partner has moved to a different state to be near his teenage daughters. I decided not to join him. What does THAT mean? I thought I loved him and wanted to be with him, but apparently I’m not willing to move for him. I wanted a relationship so badly before we met, and I finally found my dream guy and I’m willing to throw it away because I don’t want to relocate? Are my priorities all fucked up? Do I start over trying to find love with someone who will never want to move? Or who I love enough to be willing to move for? What would starting over look like?

Meanwhile, I brag I cured my workaholicism in Mastery 2013. I brag my clarity about not wanting to move. I brag I have a life here that I love enough to not abandon. I brag I turned the rupture of my partner leaving into an opportunity for a new kind of life and I now have a home full of creative energy and people who are pursuing their passions.

RAWK!

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SG Deborah December 3, 2013 at 2:02 pm

Lacieeeee! Goddess, I miss you, even though don’t know you that well… But that is the power of Miami, right? Thank you for this honest post. I feel the pain of your dilemma. Interesting to think about how exploring a move could shift that block in the flow of your money life? Help you find ways to find the people who really, really need your awesome service? Could be fun to do it on a trial basis? Sublet your place and take a ‘sebatical’? Sending you lots of love and light! xoxo

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cindy December 3, 2013 at 10:44 am

WOW…. I can relate to a bit in each post, especially LOVE-MONEY-MY PURPOSE!! (Amazing that several mention screenplays, acting, writing, painting, all creative stuff- things I very much desire also!) I am so fed up with feeling stagnant-I have tried so many, many modalities and healing things, read more self-help books than I can count-journaled and trusted and thought I believed……and I am beyond befuddled I am still in this place that I call HELL! I know I signed up for this before I incarnated, but geez….Find it real difficult to believe that my Higher Power and Self would want me stuck here! I KNOW I have been blessed with many, many gifts, yet I’m single and currently, again unemployed for the 4th time in 3 years-can’t find a decent job that pays me what I am worth and always playing catch up with bills. Never been a big dater and the ones I have allowed into my life seem to have drinking and emotional issues and aren’t monogamous. (last one ended up with his bookkeeper)
I desire an awesome career where there is LOTS of laughter and deep connections with healthy, like minded people-where I earn more than I even imagined-A creative environment where I am free to come and go or if a project is fascinating and my passion is great for it, wouldn’t mind an 16 hour day….like on a movie set!!-That will allow me to help other people who are struggling – A life partner/husband who adores, supports and has great passion with me-one who is giving, loyal, trustworthy and monogamous. Who loves to travel the world with me and experience awe inspiring adventures and other people and cultures. Or will have no problem with me renting a house on an island for months in the Carribbean to write a book. I am READY and WILLING to be delivered from hell!!!!

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Kathy B December 3, 2013 at 11:07 am

That is EXACTLY where I was last year. Stuck and Miserable. I was in a marriage that did not fit me and was way too small for where I wanted to go. I had spent many years trying to be smaller to fit into the marriage only to find myself miserable. I put on a ton of weight trying to eat my pain away. Everything and everyone pissed me off.
Then I went on a journey of exploration to find myself. I found my dreams, I found myself, I shed the weight, I healed my body and this weekend I left my marriage.
I am OFFICIALLY UNSTUCK. Now what? Now I have to clean up the mess of the life I gave myself, get out of debt, create financial freedom and go for my dreams. I feel like I am on the edge of the world, where everything is possible and so many things are grabbing my attention. I am trying to focus on where I want to go and what I need to do to get there.
I have a HUGE DREAM. It is bigger than me. It came to me like a vision from the Angels or God or the Universe or whatever you want to call it. The dream is so big I don’t know how to make it happen. I am Feng Shui’ing my new home and placing my dreams forefront in my life, my home and my mind so that the only direction to go in is the one that I want.
This is powerful and scary. I am learning to be alone and like myself before I go near another relationship. I only want the love the feeds my heart and soul and not saps me dry and until I am strong and big enough to fit into that kind of love, I will hold off on finding true love.
Thank for this blog. It is exactly what I needed to hear and exactly what I needed to think about to clarify where I am.
I will be at the Womanly Arts one day. I will be one of your Goddesses. But financially it is not there for me yet. Soon. Please don’t go anywhere until I get there.
Kathy

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Molly December 3, 2013 at 3:34 pm

sounds exciting!~

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StardustSandy December 3, 2013 at 11:08 am

I have been stuck in way too much goo for too long!
It isn’t caramel or taffy sticky, more like chocolate pudding.
Just comfortable enough to keep me from moving forward.
It all started about seven years ago in the midst of pursuing my dream.
I got really really ill, my business failed & my husband left.
My home was my safe zone.
Which just got hit by a flood.
Now my chocolate pudding turned in to mud.
I am spending all my energy and money repairing it.
I want to create, I want a really deep relationship, I want a Love affair!
I want to live in the South of France! I want to be fulfilled!

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Kimberly December 3, 2013 at 11:17 am

I’m stuck in soul wrenching, crying all the time, can barely work, missing, longing, angry that I couldn’t play it cool, devastating heartbreak….the kind I don’t feel I can recover from. I’m stuck in wanting my person so badly and not being able to see a way to the other side. Stuck because I don’t want anyone else except them. Upset and angry because they awakened a deep part of my sensuality that I was ignoring in myself. And seeing how beautiful it can be and losing it all in 5 short weeks. From blissed to bottomed-out!

My latest tally:

- Getting a divorce from a man that I shouldn’t have married….(who is wonderful but not my delight…and the entire community is so sad we will not be together. Everyone keeps asking me if there is any way I could make it work)

- Asked my husband to have a sexually experience with someone else. He agreed, then we fell madly in love with each other, and then they ran away and hid from me. It was too overwhelming. I couldn’t pull myself back enough to take care of my life. (The one brag I have is it was 3 weeks of heaven and 4 weeks of utter heart wrenching pain…and I broke it off…stood for my desire to be met fully….still doesn’t make the heartbreak any easier) The pattern is getting to caught up in another when I fall in love…stuck in the urge to spend every moment with them.

- Recovering from 7 years of being sexually frustrated

- Upset that I didn’t leave sooner or listen to myself….now, stagnation feels semi-permanent

What I desire, is a full blown love where inside of difficulty we stand face to face be open honest, fully transparent, be willing to say and show each others dirty little secrets, be present, listening to each other, holding each other, with our hearts open. If anything does come between us that we repair as soon as possible. Loving each other open each and every day no matter what’s going on. Be willing to fight for our love when people are uncomfortable with our love.

I want to be blissed out, kissing, cuddling, licking, touching, tasting, playing, teasing, and delighting in our lives together each and every day.

I desire to go dancing with my person and fully love the experience of being with them.

I desire to be madly in love and be as happy hanging out with my girlfriends as I do with my love. (I tend to only want to see my lover….and that is it)

I want a career that pushes the limits and blows people open to the bliss and love they are.

I want to be good friends with my husband as….we each discover who we are individually and after divorce. That we grow closer and continue our incredible bond.

I want my body strong. My knees healed…and ready for a lifetime of dancing. My neck healed…so, I try all those fun sexual fantasies in my head. Happy feet…so I can wear sexy shoes and walk, run, jump, play….and sexy dance for my person. Deliciously strong back….for dancing the night away. Or loving the night away with my person.

I want to be strong enough that when my lover has me up against a wall…there is nothing we can’t do…or try….all possibilities are open!

I want friends and a community that when I say I am in heartbreak….that I need help…that my community call and come to visit….or take me out. And love me up.

I want a best friend who isn’t jealous of my person. Who totally supports, loves when I am happy. And if I’m in heartbreak will be fully there for me.

I desire a life I love and am on fire about. I desire my passion and zest for life back. I desire a full range of experiences and senses to be fully expressed in the world.

I desire to be fully expressed, fully playing, fully experiencing, fully living!

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Rebecca December 3, 2013 at 11:22 am

I’m stuck muting my words and body and not putting myself out there going to auditions when I could be. I feel stuck in the throat and so I feel weak, and this makes me feel less powerful, a place where my beauty, or just my Self and presence, cannot pull me out. I worry I won’t be able to voice myself without feeling my confidence dropping, so better to neither say anything nor shine out among others.

My desires are to audition for some great roles, and to speak my words all the time the way I want with all this sass and power to anyone I want.

:)

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Kimberly December 4, 2013 at 11:24 am

So beautiful!!!! Thank you!

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SG Shannon (62 inches) December 3, 2013 at 11:28 am

Mama Gena, I so related to your post – I have been stuck in every area of my life for years! This after Mastery and 2 rounds of Overcoming Underearning. I’m a single mom and my last relationship ended over 6 years ago, I am a “partner” in a law firm but have no income from it above the retainers that my two clients pay me, I’m in a political profession and my personal politics are very different from the prevailing party’s and I’m sick of having to fit in to their right wing conservative exclusive poison. My desires have been repressed so long I can’t feel them anymore! But I do know that I deeply desire financial security for me and my girls, I desire to find my voice again, I desire work that fulfills me and in which I can effect a positive change, I desire money for ME, I desire to wake up feeling hopeful and energized and motivated… I desire a whole new life.

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Anne December 3, 2013 at 11:39 am

This is me, this is me! Wow, I can’t believe how many goddesses have already responded to this and I just saw it in my inbox! Mama Gena you are a GENIUS!!!! This has been me not once but many times in my life and I have been in my most recent stuck place for over a year! It’s my damn job. But guess what? I signed up for Master in Spring 2013 and here we are in December 2013 and my toes are right over the ledge and I’m about to jump overboard from this #$%^@ sinking ship of a company. My boss is in complete denial. She’s embezzled, can’t pay the bills, the creditors are calling and what does she do? She GOES ON VACATION FOR 3 WEEKS LEAVING ME HERE WITH NO ASSISTANCE! I AM DONE! I cannot tell you how freaking grateful I am to you for creating this amazing community of women who are there for me even if I haven’t even met them! They support me, listen and hold me in the swamp and spring clean with me so I can clear my head of the toxic anger that clogs me up from being in this toxic job. I desire a bridge job that will allow me to bring in a steady income to help support my husband and kids; something I enjoy, that will allow me time to just BREATHE, REST, RAISE MY VIBRATION AND THINK CREATIVELY AGAIN. Because I have been marinating in formaldehyde for so long, been demoralized and defeated for so long, that I wouldn’t know the right job if I walked right into it. I want to be free. And because of you, the sister goddess community and the brilliant Barbara Stanny I will be free of this place by the end of 2013. I thank you for your inspiration from the bottom of my heart and depth of my pussy!

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SG Imperfect Me December 3, 2013 at 11:44 am

Ah!! I am stuck about stepping out and being seen. I have been afraid to share my gifts and talents for fear if rejection. I keep repeating old patterns of assuming that others are smarter, prettier, wiser, kinder….whatever than me. Thanks to the SWA and this community, I am awakening to my self-imposed limitations and opening into the possibilities of what I can have. But it’s scary!!

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Sindisiwe Luvuno December 3, 2013 at 11:44 am

Oh S*&% I am stuck.
I just completed my degree and I have nothing certsin lined up, making my fanily feel more uncertain for me, thus creating more uneasiness for me.

My desire is to feel strong and secure in my soul, body and mind. Work in a great environment with great collegues and a great boss :) I desire to in grow my highest excitement, experience more thrill,adventure, love, joy, peace, ease, happiness and FFFFUN.

I am OPEN and ALLOWING. Amen
Thank-you Mama G :)

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Karen December 3, 2013 at 11:45 am

First off, I have a great life, and am thankful for all that I DO have and for all the areas of my life in which I am NOT stuck, which include most aspects of my life (health, career, money, home, my child is awesome).
But, BUT, my dating life. It is where I have been stuck for what seems like forever. I am a single mom of a now 20 year old. He’s great, and the greatest accomplishment of my life. For many years, I didn’t want to date. I was just too busy working and being a mom and had no desire. But that changed years ago, and while I’ve dated, the pool of men I find interesting enough to go out and spend time with is small. My life is busy and I do go out and I am “out there.” I’ve made a lot of changes, particularly the last few years, and have really stepped out of my comfort zone, especially with respect to dating. I know it’s a process, and that nothing happens overnight. I’m generally a very positive (there’s always a bright side, silver lining) person. Things always have a way of working out how they’re supposed to. I know this deep down. Sometimes, though, it’s tough.

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Cindy December 3, 2013 at 11:47 am

I am often stuck in saying to myself that I cannot take certain steps such as move to a new house, because I do not have the money for it. I know I am mentally stuck when I say this to myself an invite lack of money when I think these thought. I long to take the leap and trust!

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Ssanyu December 3, 2013 at 12:03 pm

I feel stuck in a new city with a new man and a new baby without much support. I feel stuck in my fear of REALLY growing up and being responsible. I feel stuck after 3 years of a crappy waitress job followed by eight months of unemployment. I feel stuck by my significant others inability to find gainful employment after almost a year and a half. But I know the power of my desires. I know that my juicy desires brought me to Mastery after wallowing in them for many years. And here I stand now, once again wallowing in my perfect desires for an extraordinary life.

I desire divine and perfect employment for my Beloved and myself.
I desire for my first novel to pour from me like an undammed river
I desire to inspire my children to grow and be there divine selves, no matter what
I desire to bask daily in my own incandescence and shower the world in the light that is me
I desire to have more fun daily then I ever thought possible
I desire to marry my beloved in a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by my Sister Goddesses

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Dana December 3, 2013 at 12:09 pm

I feel stuck with my business and love. I have learned to attract men, and they so desire me yet I cannot figure out the whole relationship thing. I feel like handless maiden often navigating that world, feeling safe to express my feelings and desires to men in a powerful way. I cannot seem to get what I desire from men, which is deep authentic connection, honestly, openness and creating deep compassionate love. I see myself be dragged down by men in my family and feel so weak standing for my own desire and knowing with my business. It is a constant struggle speaking up for what I know is right. My business has been taking forever and now it is coming to fruition yet I have an overwhelming sense of failure and that it will never materialize or succeed and I have wasted all this time and energy for nothing but failure yet again.

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Alay'nya December 3, 2013 at 6:25 pm

Dear One – much love. I’ll hold you in the light on this.

yrs – A.

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Meg December 3, 2013 at 12:12 pm

I am stuck working 2 part time jobs, 7 days a week as a single mother trying to keep my head above water. I hardly have a social life, heck I hardly have time for myself anymore.

My desire is to be financially comfortable at one job and the freedom to travel whenever I please!!

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SG Ti Sugarbitch December 3, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Look at this swampland of stuck you’ve unleashed! Well done, Mama! Talking about the unbearable pain of being stuck makes it real and keeps me from pretending “it’s not that bad.” It is. I am working my way out of a stuck situation with work and money and oh oh oh it’s sloooooow. Add in illness, injuries, and the death of my father and it feels like change is years away. But it’s not. I’m throwing all I’ve got at the debt and remaking myself into the amazing work-is-play woman I was for years and years. I’m feeling old emotions I wasn’t brave enough to feel in my first marriage. I’m moving and eating well and being kind to myself.

I desire to fall madly in love with myself, to date myself, build a financial nest for myself, and fly into creative coaching possibilities with a whole tribe of women cheering me on. I desire to reclaim my health and fitness gently and surely and with a lot of pleasure along the way. I desire to keep my relationship hot and growing.

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Dr. Liliana Sacarin, Seductress, the Irresistible Pussy December 3, 2013 at 12:22 pm

I’m stuck in my love life, in my previous relationship and house ownership, in my not knowing how to have a committed relationship and keep my independence at the same time – the feeling of independence, as I am not inclined (at least at this point in time) to have multiple relationships. I desire a lover, maybe first and a committed relationship at some point – when I am ready for it, or a committed relationship if I conjure the man of my dreams right away and I KNOW I am conjuring him at the perfect timing.

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ayodele December 11, 2013 at 4:39 pm

oh yes. to your desire. Lover on his way to you. under grace and in perfect ways. it is done. hugs, ayo

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Janet December 3, 2013 at 12:22 pm

I am stuck in my aloneness. I have a great life in all other respects, yet the relationship piece seems totally out of reach. I feel like missing this piece is draining the fun & joy out of life. I work really hard to stay positive and upbeat, being grateful for all the amazing gifts in my life. Lately though this is getting harder and harder to do.
I desire more love in my life. A fun playful relationship with a man who is smart, funny kind & courageous.

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Mary December 3, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Dear members of this lovely community, I am new and this is my first time writing and may be the second reading the posts. I recently heard about Mama Gena School of Womanly Art from Dr. Christian Northrop in the Hay House Radio. I am also a nun in the process of leaving my community where I am feeling stuck and leaving feels like the best way for me at this time to get unstuck. Currently, I am stuck in the areas of loving and supportive relationships because not many people understand how I am trying to get unstuck but I am also feeling some relieve already. For that reason I will keep going. I am also stuck in the area of money because I still have in the process of letting go my vow of poverty and have money enough just to live a simple life. I am stuck in the fear of not knowing what the future holds for me.
My desire is to peacefully complete the process of leaving the community that has served me well for about 25 years and to develop new loving, caring, and supportive relationships, and community. I also desire to create stable financial and material abundance for myself and the people I want to serve in my ministry as a clinical psychologist. Thank you for this forum to share my desire with many of the women who share the space. I wish all your desires to come true in more abundant ways than you can imagine. Thank you Mama Gena.

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Alay'nya December 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Dear Mary – I am enthralled by your courage, in leaving the community of sisters after having been a part of that group and tradition for so long.

It truly is a NEW VOCATION to take on this next life journey.

Trust that you WILL be guided.

yrs – Alay’nya

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Mary December 10, 2013 at 9:15 am

Alay’nya,

Thank you for your kind encouragement. I am learning daily to trust more and more in my new call. I have strong sense that my new calling is to serve from a place of love. Keeping my heart open.

Gratefully,
Mary.

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SG Hot Mess Sugar Mama Michelle December 3, 2013 at 12:39 pm

I am stuck in my finances and career. My job does not allow for any growth. Not only that, it’s slowly killing me. It’s rare that I feel valued or intelligent at this job. I was not meant to be anti-social or work in a cubicle, but here I sit. I feel stuck in my finances and it’s getting worse. The hole is getting deeper and I’m not sure how I will ever get out alive or happily based on my current situation.

I desire a career with upward momentum and that I can grow with. I desire a career that makes me feel valued and intelligent everyday. I desire a career that has a new adventure every day. I desire a career that will take care of bills and desired lifestyle with ease. I desire a career that will allow me to move forward with my financial life.

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jennie December 3, 2013 at 12:42 pm

I’m soooo stuck. I’m in a relationship that has become very safe and boring. He is a lovely kind generous man, who loves me deeply, but I’m not happy. I feel ‘what’s wrong with me’. After being in a very up happy marriage of 25 yrs. this should be everything I’ve ever wanted. I will hurt him deeply if the relationship ends, but if I stay I’m going to end up resenting him and back to square one. ohhhh help

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Krissy December 3, 2013 at 1:02 pm

I feel stuck in my relationship with my girlfriend. When we started dating, I was so happy. I felt like I had finally found the person that I was meant to spend my life with and like everything I wanted was coming to me. We moved in together in September and I was so excited for us to start a life together. But things have not been going well. She isn’t happy and does not feel appreciated by me, or special. I try to do things to make her feel that way and then feel frustrated because I feel like she is never satisfied. I feel like she finds the faults in what I try, rather than acknowledging that I am trying. I also feel like I am putting aside my own needs and wants to make her happy and I am feeling resentful. I feel afraid because when we argue, she says that I am just not the right person for her. So, I feel like I am on eggshells because I don’t want to lose her and never know what will upset her.

I desire for her to trust the sincerity of my feelings enough that she is not always looking for signs that our relationship will fail. I desire to trust her love enough that I am free to be myself.

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Denise December 4, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Keep being yourself! I find it can help to not take her moods personally, and when she complains, speak to her calmly and directly, and don’t give in to fighting with her. Set standards and boundaries in a gentle way, then leave the room if she continues to be angry or toxic. This actually worked with me and I learned how to grow up and be more mature in how I communicate :)

It works! Good luck!

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Simin Vaswani December 3, 2013 at 1:29 pm

I feel stuck in my career, I don’t feel good about myself. I desire clarity around my soul’s purpose. I desire freedom. The feeling of I can do whatever I want and the feeling of looking forward to waking up in the morning because I look forward to doing what I do. I desire feeling financially free. I am stuck in sensual pleasures and I desire to enjoy my body for myself. Feel free with my body. I desire to be popped into walking in my light. I can see the other side and now I need to be unstuck to get on the other side. I am desperate to do anything to make this happen.

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Elizabeth December 3, 2013 at 1:51 pm

I feel stuck in money/livelihood and love.

I can see more and more clearly how good I am at manifestation, only it doesn’t seem to translate to money. (Or else, it does translate, and I am both not seeing it and actively blocking it. I suspect this is the truer version.) I have been following my intuition, and I know what I am here to do and I am good at it and I am doing it, only it seems to have taken me from plenty to lack. I can usually remember that everything seems to work out better than I expect in the end and there is probably a reason I am here, but there are still many moments when I am more frustrated than fascinated. I desire more than enough money, including to fulfill my contracts, and to radiate brightly enough that everyone who needs my particular brand of hope + possibility + wonder + magic can find me.

I do feel stuck in love. I desire the deep connection of partnership, at least occasionally, but I recently moved from a large city to the tiny town where I grew up and I notice my current story is that if it wasn’t possible there, it definitely isn’t possible here, for a myriad of reasons. What I really desire is to remember that this is just a story, and to open up to the expansive possibilities that I know are out there.

Witnessing all the desires written above. I can feel the power behind them. May it be so for all of us.

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Alay'nya December 3, 2013 at 2:05 pm

To Mama Gena – A Deeply Thoughtful, Sincerely Serious – and Completely Light-Hearted Reply!

Dearest Mama Gena (aka Regena Thomaschauer) -

… a woman whom we all know as the Princess of Pleasure, the Diva of Desire –

Your blog today (Oh, $#!&, I’m stuck) is excellent. Well-timed. You’re writing on – and asking for comments on – that good ole’ feeling of being stuck. One that we know so well.

And you have inspired me so much – my blog today is all about you.

[Brief extract ...]

“Throughout your posts, and for the past many years, you’ve been consistently offering tools. And they’ve been the right tools. The brag. The spring-cleaning. And many, many more…

“You are a Hierophant-Hathor – You are teaching women to connect with their inner Love-Goddess, their Hathor – the Egyptian goddess of love, pleasure, and sensuality.

“So far as I know, you are – absolutely – the best teacher (Hierophant) in this role, on this planet.”

For the full post, please go to:

Yours with love and laughter – Alay’nya

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Chantal December 3, 2013 at 2:06 pm

Oh ladies thank you sooo much for sharing your stuck. Thanks mama for bringing it on the table…Goddess…I thought I was the only one stuck in a cage with an open door.

Can see the cage, can see the open door but can I muster the courage to walk out ??

I am stuck in this old story I created somewhere back in my youth that no man I truly love will love me back. Only men I am not attracted too will love me. And I want out !!

I Desire to madly fall in love with someone who will see me and love me unconditionally for who I am. I Desire a partner with whom living a happy story will be easy and beyond my wildness dream of pleasure and delight.

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Molly December 3, 2013 at 2:12 pm

I have been dealing with a medical problem – vertigo- for 2 years. I feel totally stuck. Divorced for 5 years (and yes, went back with my ex 3 times to make sure it was the right decision to leave), and feel lonely a lot because of my solitude.

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Leslie December 3, 2013 at 2:16 pm

I feel stuck with my health. I have not felt consistently well my entire adult life… I am now 35. From doctor to doctor, cleanse to cleanse, now facing the possibility I may have Lymes disease… I’m so tired of trying to be free of the heaviness of exhaustion and weird symptoms that come and go. And investing all my money in doctors and supplements. I want to be free of this, of tiredness, of trying, of praying and hoping I can finally consistently feel good in my body…. I am in a flare up right now and have been crying and praying the last two days. I need a miracle and transformation…. I deserve so much better than this!!!

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Alay'nya December 3, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Dearest –

Have you considered having a really good medical intuitive look at your energy field?
Your cries and prayers – and now speaking out your desire – this may be what is elevating your voice to be heard in a new and different way.
If you wish, contact me (my name for this should link to my website, but you can find me as Alay’nya on the web), and I’ll pass on the names of two really good people. Top-notch. Outstanding. World-class.

I’m finding, myself, that I need to clear out energy blockages (specifically, negative thought-patterns that suck in emotional energy and send it out from me, and also ones that sort of wrap themselves around my energy core) in order to reach new levels of health, energy, and even financial well-being.

If things seem stuck on the physical level, and you’ve been working with all the logical avenues for a while, check things out at the energetic level.

I mention this specifically because you speak of the “heaviness of exhaustion” – it does seem like an energetic thing that is imposing on your physical well-being.

much love and light – Alay’nya

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Tiara December 3, 2013 at 2:25 pm

I feel stuck in my job.

I desire a new job that I love doing so much I’d do it for free, but that pays double what I’m currently making, has opportunities for travel, but allows me to have some predictability in my schedule, and requires me to spend four days or less in the office with an average workweek of under 50 hours.

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Watwa December 3, 2013 at 6:51 pm

I feel stuck in my current career as a clinical massage therapist and spenting 15 years a single parent.
I’ve been in practice as a CMT for 13 years. I own and operate my business and work part-time at a spa. I have no desire to do this type of work nor any modalities relating to massage. I’ve recently got certified as a fitness trainer and wellness coach. At the time I was interested now I’m not sure CMT has been a ware and tore on my physical and mental. I can barely pay my bills because the income fluctuates, and I’m bored. I’m working to survive.
I was enagaed to my child’s father 14 years ago. Since then I’ve join church and practiced abstinence. I was taught and truly believed that abtaining would prepared me for my husband. I realize most of the men in church were no different then the men outside of the church. The best part about the whole experience is that I got to know myself. I built up my confidence , got involved in hobbies such salsa dancing and and running. I also, became a figure competitor and won. I desire to be a fitness model and make six figure doing endorsements.

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Shannon Lagasse December 3, 2013 at 2:37 pm

Mama,

For a while now, I’ve felt stuck in my relationship. On Sunday, I had the courage to ask him to leave. I knew what my life was going to be like together: doing everything myself, fights, the frustration with a partner who has been stagnant and stuck for years.

Now, I’m feeling stuck in how to move forward. Where do I go from here? Like you did, I often stay at home, working, cooking, cleaning. I can easily find things to do for myself without going out and about. But I know what that’s like. What is it like on the outside? What is it like to have a busy and active social life? What is it like to make new friends in this new town I’m living in?

Thanks for your amazing writing, as always. In the middle of “Mama Gena’s School for the Womanly Arts” and learning a lot.

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SG Pussy Delights Me December 3, 2013 at 2:48 pm

I am feeling stuck in my job. I am exposed to the most toxic and demoralizing environment. I stay because I have 23 years service and secretly fear I cannot make it in the “real world.” I desire ever overflowing resources so I can take exquisite and pampered care of myself and the most loving, encouraging, supportive, evolved partner and friends to enhance my experiences in all positive and pleasurable ways. I desire daily body work, organic meals prepared for me by my personal chef, a lovely and lean strong and healthy body and an amazing home or homes in beautiful and peaceful and pleasantly warm locations. I desire to have fun every day being me : )

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SG Taiza December 9, 2013 at 12:30 pm

So shall it be or something far far better !

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VivienneCygne December 3, 2013 at 3:02 pm

I am sad to admit that I am stuck and have been stuck for well over a decade. I am not young and not old (57). Don’t know what to do with myself. Sometimes I feel/ dream that I a suffocating. I’m not sure of what to do…. Thank you for your post, really hit the spot. I appreciate you and all of the women who share.

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Camilla Benedicte December 3, 2013 at 3:10 pm

I am feeling stuck in my relationship…. I am so excited by my career that I’ve gone full speed ahead and kinda left my r in the dust. However, I truly desire to feel true love and passion and turned on again and fired up by my relationship. I desire to rekindle our love. Please fan my flames xox

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gillian December 3, 2013 at 3:17 pm

I’m feeling stuck at a time when I should feel limitless! I’m graduating with a master’s in international business in two weeks, and everyone around me keeps saying “the sky’s the limit.” But that’s exactly the problem – I’m stuck in the possibilities. There are so many directions I could take, the fear of choosing ‘the wrong one’ or not truly knowing what I want is where I’m stuck. I find myself spinning my wheels and going nowhere with the job search, wondering if it’s possible to go down the ‘wrong’ path or discover I was meant for something else too late.

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Julia December 3, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Wow! This came at just the right time!
I am stuck in my home environment, stuck at my parents, torn between buying or renting and the scary prospect of feeling alone. I am stuck in my relationships, I’ve been pretty much single for the last five years and just can’t seem to attract the man I so desire, no matter how much work I put in. I am stuck in my friendships which I seem to have outgrown, but with no new friendships on the horizon, again no matter how hard I try. I am stuck in clearing out, creating the environment I want, with lots of other peoples voices ringing through my head instead. And I am stuck trying to work out what I am here for – how I can best serve others and where to start. I have been pretty much stuck for what feels like the last ten years, wasting my life and what feels like my best years, not living how I really want to, trying lots and getting nowhere.

Now it’s time for change, it’s time for the desires to come true:

I desire the perfect partner for me – a partner who becomes a husband, with a dog, a cat, a house and three kids. I desire true friendships – people who value me, appreciate me for who I am (all that I am), and who I have great, great fun with. I desire my own place, where I feel empowered and safe and is a cosy place for my new friends and partner to be and to have lots of fun. I desire clarity and clear-headedness, energy and knowing why I am here. I desire a better relationship with my mum and dad.

Thank you for the opportunity to share.

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Farah December 4, 2013 at 11:09 pm

Im stuck in those same avenues. It seems that I can never attract the right kind of man, or they just see me as a friend…not girlfriend material. I’ve been stuck for quite some time and dont know how to get me out of this mess.

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Julia December 5, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Thanks for responding to my post Farah. Writing my own post helped as it made me realise how I feel like I’m always ‘trying hard’ to find the guy or find the friendships I crave. I’ve decided this month I’m going to take a step back and see what the universe sends me, instead of constantly ‘trying’ and ‘looking’ to fill my time – and if that means a quiet month where nothing comes along then that’s okay. It feels good to surrender and allow space for things to come in, instead of pushing to try and make things happen all the time to try to fill the loneliness. Wishing you all the best, Julia x

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Dee December 3, 2013 at 3:52 pm

I”m stuck in an unhappy marriage with a husband that doesn’t want to divorce but doesn’t want to do anything to improve it. I want to be passionate with a man. I’m stuck at work as I have this horrific certification exam that I need to pass and I’ve already failed it once. I’m stuck because I have 2 kids in school and demand most of my free time. I desire to be on a beach somewhere warm, with a drink in my hand and the man of my dreams.

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Kimberly December 4, 2013 at 11:30 am

I hear you sister! Thank you for your share.

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Bast December 3, 2013 at 4:36 pm

Mama Gena, I just Spring Cleaned on this topic before even seeing your post! You are so right — everything that you describe is what I feel. I want to scream with frustration! I feel stuck in many areas of my life and the kicker is that I completely see the solution right in front of me and yet, here I am…stuck. It’s like I am paralyzed. I don’t know what to do to unstick myself. I’m angry and frustrated that I can’t seem to know what to do. I’m looking for that small change. That twist. That brush with genius or fate. Ohhhh I just want to cry out loud!!! Why do we get stuck?! It’s so boring and unproductive here. It is now who I am or want to be. I am stuck with my career, my business, my marriage, my weight. I desire to get clarity on my career training, my business direction, to meet a fantastic client that will help propel me, to spice up my marriage and to once and for all lose weight. I desire a miracle.

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Janet December 3, 2013 at 4:38 pm

I am grateful I read through others’ situations before I got down to the place to state my own stuck-ness. I am so fortunate in so many ways. I have already started on the path of a Nia trainer. I like being the person I am when I am doing Nia and the lifestyle I maintain when I’m doing a week-long training.
And then there’s home, today, when I planned to re-start writing my proposals for future workshops. Why am I having more lunch when I’m full? Why am I reading emails and blogs when I vowed to be typing? Thank you, Mama Gena, for catching me in your net today and reminding me that I need to speak it and share it and not feel alone.
I desire clarity about what it is I am so afraid of when I know I can be a success? What keeps me from completing and sending in those proposals?
I want to give my light a chance to shine.

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Nathalie December 3, 2013 at 5:50 pm

i am stuck no other way to say it. cannot sugar coat it. it is what it is. I am stuck in my workplace. front and centre. I put my heart and soul into all aspects of my job”changing peoples lives” and yet the atmosphere in the office is one of negativity and oppression. it is almost better if i “play small” and participate in the “aint it awful” which i proudly do not participate in. but through this blog i have “seen the light ” and understand that i have only just begun my journey in life. I have so much energy power strength that i can do whatever i want-and smile feel joy laugh while doing it
thank you

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laura December 3, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Im stuck in being single, afraid to go dating women again, in a job that is work i on some days really love, but is an all male environment and quite tough – i would like more softness, swinging in a hammock, sunshine, travel, playing guitar, living, loving and laughing out loud. My physical body has been so good but so overworked and over trained – rest, ease, softness, love, children, lovers, joy, thanks so much for the space to put this down.

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Janel December 3, 2013 at 8:03 pm

I have felt stuck for about 8 months now in a marriage that is one sided. I continually compromise so that he can achieve his goals, he treats me like I am his child not his wife, gets upset when I want to do anything with friends or family because I am not spending time with him. He had brought me to a level that I had no confidence in myself, doubted that I would be able to achieve my goals and he never really supported them either. I knew I was better than what he was making me believe but now I feel like I want to follow those dreams and desires but I still feel like he is this big weight holding me down. I am so unhappy and I don’t enjoy spending time with him and I think I want to leave and be on my own. I guess my fear is of hurting him because I know he is a great person but what he is doing to me is not good at all. I fear what other people may say which I know I shouldn’t but we have so many mutual friends. I fear I may regret leaving but I also fear not leaving. I just want to be happy and I feel so stuck and in limbo!

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Julie December 3, 2013 at 8:25 pm

I am stuck in a job I am ready to retire from so I can financially give my granddaughter (whom I am raising) what she needs…………college, a car, etc. However, I have done this before (raised my daughter and sister alone) and my needs are often not met as I care for another. I earn a very good living but it all goes to my granddaughter.
My desire is to retire and travel with my fiance’ and have my granddaughter’s needs taken care of by someone or something else.

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Esther December 3, 2013 at 9:54 pm

I cannot for the life of me get back into working out. All my joints and body aches for physical activity. I don’t know why I can’t get to a yoga class, go out for a walk or run, get to a gym.

What is stopping me? My kids are in school until 3 and I am a writer and blogger so I get -0- movement and I do have the time.

What gives?

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Robin (aka Dirty South) December 3, 2013 at 9:58 pm

Mama Gena, Wow! You have hit the nail on the head. I am so stuck, I cannot move forward. I am so stuck I am thankful that I know and I desire to move forward. How the hell do you get unstuck from the thickness of stuck in life (job, finances and a relationship). This is some crazy shit. I continue to pleasure myself to maintain an unstuck feeling and to bring some comfort of the stuckness (new word). Any information, suggestions or unsticking the unstucked, I greatly desire and appreciate~
Lots of love

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Tracy December 4, 2013 at 12:08 am

Wow! Always amazes me how the timing of things, such as your post, have an uncanny way of corresponding with my life. I’ve been feeling stuck in my situation – single mom of two small children, trying to work, and going through a divorce. I keep taking one financial hit after another that when it occurs, it takes all of my money. Then the child care for my youngest putters out and ends. Leaving me with an inability to work and feed us. I keep seeing little gifts here and there come into my life though. Like the pajamas grandma just sent when I was scrambling online trying to find something that I can afford when I should have been doing the books for my business and putting money into the bank. I’m fighting to get out of this moat. But someone/something keeps kicking me back down. I know mine is coming. I feel it. But then I don’t all at the same time.

I desire to get unstuck from this sticky situation forever. I desire to have consistent child care and a consistent clientele, so I can share my talents for helping people heal through massage and yoga. I desire to not feel I have to work on my shit and am able to watch a movie at night and knit. I desire to be able to leave for a weekend or night and not worry about the children being with their father so I can have a social life and explore the world that lay in front of me.

Love and gratitude to all!

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Amber December 4, 2013 at 12:56 am

Yes, I’m stuck. I left a marriage with a guy that I cared about but had never truly desired and moved in with my parents as I was a housewife and had nothing to my name when I left. That lasted about 6 months as they couldn’t deal with the change that living with a 2 and 1 year old can bring. Said guy offered me a place to stay as I had been unable to find a job and I moved back in with him with the understanding that our relationship was still over. And I’ve been here. For 6 years now. I know. And I know stuck haha. I have a job now. It is not the work of my heart or deepest calling. And it doesn’t pay enough for me to move out. My friends are married, so I can’t stay with them and I will never go back to my parents house. So here we go— I announce it; I am s-t-u-c-k! AND I desire to be a professional artist and to be fully and abundantly supported by my work. And I desire to meet my lifemate, marry him, and have or adopt more children with him.

And so it is. Thank you!

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KarenSue December 4, 2013 at 6:23 am

One would think that a magnificent lotus, so full of light, love, inspiration & compassion for all creation would naturally unfold into all it’s splendor! Opening and revealing the unique gifts that await in all her petals of “knowing” that the timing and outcomes are in their own unique dance…and she has the Life rythem flowing through her to create miracles everywhere she shows up. Bliss is what she vibrates to, lovingkindness flows from her center even in the midst of chaos around her…one would think this lotus wouldn’t entertain being “stuck” but she is….because some how unworthiness dripped unto a petal or two and she’s letting that go….right here, at this moment in this community of support that she is Inspired by & grateful for all the woman who unfold their Beauty with such grace and truth. Women are amazing… And so it is……:)

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Carole December 4, 2013 at 7:12 am

I am totally stuck. It’s been twelve years since I divorced and I haven’t met any one remotely interesting. I live in a place where the ratio is about twenty or fifty women to one man and the men are “married, gay or leaving on Tuesday!” (It’s a leading vacation town in Mexico) I really want to be in a relationship, but don’t know how. And I can’t stand being alone anymore. I have lots of friends who have chosen to be in what I would call compromise relationships, but I don’t want that. I feel that could be all that’s available (I’m a very young 65). Being alone dominates my life and I’ve done all the suggested things and am still alone and lonely. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to say this – it has helped!

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Kimberly December 4, 2013 at 11:31 am

Thank you so much sharing.

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evelyne December 4, 2013 at 9:46 am

The more desperate I am for “something” the more it evades me. The more I “want” it, the more poor choices I make. Vicious little cycle. Keep Faith and Grace will come….it always follows!!! Surrender to the Universe, shaking what the MaMa gave you all the Way….it doesn’t always come in our time but it comes sisters!!!! I myself am digging, wearing a silver and turquoise crown, with worn~in cowWildWoman boots, my way to my Desires. You have 5 minutes to Moan…..Now…..Get off your bodacious behind!!!!

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Lora December 4, 2013 at 10:06 am

I have an ivy league degree and I’m stuck making $16/hr doing tasks that should pay$30-50/hr. My physical disabilities are so severe, however, that I feel lucky that Im being paid at all, and could never produce sufficient output to get paid what my skills set would normally demand. My ongoing hormonal imbalances have not responded to any of a dozen holistic efforts to normalize them, to the point where I would far rather be dead than live like this. I feel like crap, my life is crap, and to top it all off, I have no idea what I would rather be doing (other than relaxing under a tree for the rest of my life). I have a ton of skils and things I like doing, but nothing marketable, nothing anyone would ever pay me for. I have worked diligently at trying to brainstorm alternative careers, life purpose, etc, and nothing ever arises from the efforts. And at 53, trying to figure out what I want I be when I grow up seems like a waste. My first husband died at 49 and my second at 60, so it’s hard to believe I have much time left anyway. Not trying to be whiny or self-pitying. I’m just so DONE with life.

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Wendi December 4, 2013 at 11:42 am

I’m stuck in a rut that I feel I should be able to manage and yet I dwell on several issues daily – finances, building my new business, health and the happiness of my children.

My family and I moved back to our home state recently. I happily left behind a corporate job and I’m building my own business with a fabulous DSA company. I would like to be building faster so that I was holding up my end of the financial side of my marriage. But I can’t seem to move out of my comfort zone.

During the move and several months of home renovation, I’ve put on weight and am now at my heaviest point ever. I should just get moving in some way but I can’t seem to get started.

My son is happy with the move but feeling the lose of friends and having a hard time getting integrated with new friends. The kids around are accepting but he’s very shy. I need to get out to help him but, like with everything else, I can’t seem to make the first step.

The end result is that I end each day with a list of things that I didn’t accomplish and the desire to get out the next day and make it better and then I can’t seem to get out of the gate the next day.

I don’t want to continue in this cycle and live a life full of regrets, especailly when it comes to my children. I want to build a sucesssful business that provides financial security and the ability to devote the larger portion of my days to my family. I’d really like to not be stuck and silently, continually, berating myself for things that I’m perfectly capable of controlling.

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SG Lois December 4, 2013 at 1:08 pm

I am stuck in an unplanned early retirement. I didn’t expect to retire so early and have no plans in place. I am stuck in this disappointment and procrastination… unable to move forward. I am stuck in dissatisfaction with my life. I feel that there is still so much living for me to do. I feel that I have the potential to do something great. But I am stuck in fear.

I desire to travel. I desire to be creative. I desire to be involved and help others. I desire to live a juicy and passionate life.

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Sue D December 4, 2013 at 4:32 pm

I was stuck in a horrible job with a horrible boss who thought I had no aptitude and a bad attitude. I did not want to work for this woman or her boss. One day I woke up and personal feelings for these people aside, I realized that I just didn’t give a shit about what I was doing for work. So I stopped bitching about it, took a deep breath, and made a list of everything I desired in a new job: from minor – good coffee, to major – a boss that has my back and believes in me. After a few months and many interview where I got really close, I finally took a break from the work and the next day I had a job offer. I now have a job with everything I want. Not only is the coffee amazing (and free), I work with a great group of people who work hard, have each other’s back and understand what the meaning of “work/life balance”. After I started here, two of my former coworkers said I inspired them to do the same thing and have both found exactly what they were looking for.

I truly understand being stuck. I am sending love and good vibes out to those who are stuck in hopes that you will find the glimmer of being unstuck!

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Julie December 4, 2013 at 5:12 pm

Hi Mama Gena,

Great blog post – thanks!

I am not currently stuck – I have taken one leap after another… and am well on my path. What I am still, on occasion, is afraid… because it can feel scary to have taken that leap and not know what is coming next, where the next money will come from (being a new entrepreneur) and so on. However the fear does ease and is usually only momentary. I intend not to focus on it, and rather on the fabulous, exciting UNSTUCK place I am now in.

And it is a WHOLE LOT BETTER than being stuck. No comparison. I think I am gradually building my trust in myself and the universe as I keep taking the leaps out of stuck…

Julie.

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Julie December 4, 2013 at 5:13 pm

SG Lois,

Just saw your post. Don’t let the fear hold you back! x

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Erin December 5, 2013 at 1:19 am

Oh, boy. This is a tough one to admit, because on the “outside” it looks like I have it all together. I am stuck in three areas. Ha. One is my need to be, or appear perfect. The next is my need to have a day job while pursuing my artistic career. I don’t want to complain but I basically have two full time jobs. One I love, and the other sustains what I love. Trust me, I wanna have gratitude, I do. But I am physically exhausted and broken down (in fact, overcoming two months of walking pneumonia.) Which leads me to my third stuck. I eat late at night because it seems to be my only source of downtime/ fun. But even the eating of the candy is no longer fun. Well, that’s probably a good thing. Anyway.

…My desire….

to be able to pursue my artistic career but actually also get down time. Like, not working sun up til sun down. Like, not falling asleep at my computer. Like, I don’t even know what I would do if I wasn’t working. but it’s a rut I gotta get OUT of! So I guess I need to relearn- or learn in the first place- how to have some fun aside from singing and acting.

THANK YOU for all you do!

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Laura December 5, 2013 at 10:58 am

I’m stuck in love. Dating is getting old and trying to find that guy with the spark who also wants the same things and shares the same values is demoralizing! I had a relationship I wanted but it didn’t want me so now I have to try again. I want to find a freeing, loving, nurturing, committed relationship with a man I’m wild about and who is wild about me!

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SG Joan Champion of Pleasure December 5, 2013 at 11:17 am

This blog resonated with me, MG. I saved it since Tuesday and could feel my stuckness melting these last two days. I get myself stuck by thinking I have to solve other people’s problems or take on a volunteer job because no one else can do it, or I am really needed. I put my own personal needs and desires on hold in order to fulfill someone else’s needs or agenda. I did this again back in September when my beloved pastor asked me to serve on a committee just when I wanted to concentrate on my own projects. I said yes to him and no to myself. A lot of good has come out of this commitment I made to him during these last two months, but I feel leashed again by the project. Last night I was “rewarded” for my excellent work on the project by being nominated by a stranger to take on an even bigger volunteer role for the next six months. I felt flattered that people were impressed by my organizational abilities and so I accepted the additional responsibility. I signed on for more volunteer responsibilities for no pay, when what I have been telling myself is that I would only accept paid work. I could have said no, but I said yes. I felt my power coursing through me at that moment so I went with it. I desire to do this new work in a new way. I desire to stay in my power and grow from what I am doing. I desire to say yes to myself and no to what I don’t want to do. I desire to be the strong, powerful goddess I know I am. I desire to walk this earth emanating the high vibration I love to live in and to spend my time with people who vibrate in a similar way. I desire to put my dreams, talents and projects in the forefront of my activities and let other’s needs take the back seat for awhile.

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Elizabeth December 6, 2013 at 2:57 pm

How I am stuck: I know I’ve made amazing progress in the area of friendships, relationships, career, money, but I can’t help but feel since I got divorced a few years back, I’ve put out a lot of effort going to workshops, reaching out, trying new things, classes, taking many new chances, failing spectacularly, and for all that effort, VERY. LITTLE. CHANGES. AND. VERY. LITTLE. ENERGY. MOVES.

The stuckness is in my head, in the judgments and comparisons and criticisms I have of myself as not getting enough, not doing enough, not getting enough. I’m learning to hear that voice as just that, and not the voice of reality or reason, or the whole truth. And the sisterhood, the community really is wonderful for keeping that Negative Nellie voice in perspective!

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Bethany December 7, 2013 at 1:23 pm

Money & Power! In the last year I left a job I profoundly disliked, married the man I love, we got our first apartment together and now I’ve made myself a house wife while he is making the majority of the income. We’re both frustrated about money and how I’ve snuffed out my own fire. I have a lot of fear and resistance to going out and getting a “J.O.B.”. Will I end up in yet another place where I show up and make money, but hate every second of it? I want to be equal in my relationship with my husband, I desire to feel empowered in our finances, I don’t want to “be taken care of,” AND the idea of settling for just any gig and “you gotta do what you gotta do” pisses me off. Sigh.

At this moment, I desire the perfect gig for ME at this point in my life. One that can support my life and the blessings in my life that require money. I desire also to start my own business and work creatively and passionately. I desire financial freedom (Thank you, Kate Northrup). I eventually want to build a business model and enough residual income that allows for my husband and I to go on road trips for months while I still can make more than enough money to cover our expenses.

Mama Gena, thank you for this post. I already feel less stuck just in writing this. What perfect timing you have. I started reading “Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men” this week and two days ago my husband commented that he wishes I would “take up the reins more often.” He has no idea I’ve been reading your book. Is that cosmic timing or what?

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SG Taiza December 9, 2013 at 12:40 pm

I am so stuck in my stuck news that I feel like an allisaurus in a tar pit. I do have beautiful bones however. I am in a job that is such a bad fit for my my body physically resists being there, and it doesn’t cover all my bills in a month. My mortgage is in default and if I keep going down this path, I will end up in foreclosure. I am finally feeling prompted into by what action to take but I am so absolutely mind blow ly terrified I feel like an allisaurus stuck in a tar pit in headlights. The sad thing is that I am acquainted with this feeling. And until the SG community I didn’t feel I deserved to feel any other way. While I do! Here’s to the first courageous step out of the tar pit

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Lisa Katzoff December 10, 2013 at 10:04 am

SG Taiza,
Please do something to celebrate your self. Have a favorite food or drink, buy yourself a small luxury ( scarf, earrings, figurine to sit on your shelf, etc ) for under $ 50 and then go out dancing or painting or make some beaded jewelry or whatever it is that you love to do to blow off steam. Know and affirm that you can rally the resources you need for daily life, and call some pals to party with you. If no one is around, get yourself to the nearest place to join others in something creative: dance studio, beading store, craft store, etc. and just do something to feed your soul. There will be others there too, and just engage in some pleasant conversation with others while you are doing something creative. You need to reach out instead of isolating yourself. You deserve to have a vibrant beautiful life and your mind needs to rest from feeling terrified like an allisauras stuck in a tar pit. Give your mind a rest and it will have the freedom to let more abundance in. But first you have to let in a little joy and pleasure! Yes, it can be a challenge to let in pleasure when you feel down and stuck. But pleasure will help you move towards finding resouces, and you need to trust that the resources will come, even when you may not be able to see exactly where they come from. Trust that that $50 you are spending on yourself will not be your last $50 you will ever see in your life.
Once you have treated yourself and done something creative,then think about your issues. If your job is not serving you, take a step towards changing it! Research what you might like to do, or send out a resume, or schedule an interview. Change doesn’t have to happen all at onece, its okay if its a small step at a time. Sometimes we are stuck anf terrified becuse we are overwhelmed. So don’t think about it all at once, just relax and take it from there.
By the way, I am living proof that a little luxury and creativity goes a long way! Something wonderful always happens after I Pint, dance, sing, etc.

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SG Taiza December 11, 2013 at 12:12 am

Thank you for your sage advice. It will sound funny but I splurged on really good groceries instead of going for cheap and frugal. I feel so deliciously deviant for buying organic milk. And for the creative part, I went and saw a very emotional movie with a friend until I was bawling…reconnecting to my heart is a pleasure that is priceless. Thanks again! Mwah

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Susan December 10, 2013 at 10:06 am

I am stuck, stuck, stuck working in the middle school for money that we NEED. Teenagers are just not my thing – and they are CERTAINLY not my thing when I can’t properly yell at them because they speak German and I speak English!

I desire to grow my Reiki business. I desire to be able to LEAVE the schools and JUMP into healing, which is my true calling and purpose for being here. I desire a beautiful therapy room, plentiful clients who can afford my fees, and success!

ahhhh…that feels better to get that out into the Universe!

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Linmayu December 10, 2013 at 10:53 am

I feel stuck in my body and my work. My body, because I am going after my dream of being a world-class ballet dancer (with or without ever actually having a job as a dancer–I am almost 37 so I know getting hired is unlikely, and it’s not my goal to be a part of someone else’s company anyway, but just to be an awesome dancer and to do it FREELY), and I am going after it actively–but I keep hurting my knees, and so I can only exercise up to a certain level right now.

I’m hurting my knees because I am overweight, and I am overweight because I can’t exercise hard enough to lose weight because my knees are f*cked!

It’s not that I’m not making progress because I am, but it’s going so SLOW that I get to feeling afraid that I’ll never get back to “normal.”

Stuck in my work, because I just started having my first bits of success with my online business and I’m allowing myself to talk myself into fear and “it’s a fluke, it won’t work in the long term, all you know how to do is get into debt!” When I KNOW that’s not true because I see people ALL around me just going nuts having success–long-term success–doing the exact same business I do.

My desire is to be a world-class dancer and artist in the spiritual realm, and touch hearts and move people to freedom. My desire is to keep getting better and better as I get older and older because there’s NOTHING more awesome than an old woman who is full of life and fully in her power, and that’s SO rare to see and such a damn shame because we could ALL become powerful, beautiful, Goddesslike old women, and just imagine how gorgeous the world could be if we did!

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Artemisia December 10, 2013 at 5:01 pm

I have been stuck. It helps to read I am not alone.

3 years ago I gave up on my no-good for me on/off boyfriend I had a relationship with only in my head. He went back to his old girlfriend who did not mind his party ways.

I thought of it as a victory of some sort as I made myself come first at last, 3 months later he died in his sleep next to his girlfriend, after a drinking binge, grief and guilt here I dealt.

A year later my father passed away after a short illness, as it looks like he was getting better.
And since then, I have been dealing with my mother, a narcissist and co-dependent (my father was controlling and he was her God ) and trying not to be engulfed by her constant need for reassurance, validation ( in private ) and her way of putting me down to make herself feel better ( in public and in front of anyone ). She has picked on me since childhood, was jealous of the relation I had with my dad, is not interested in what I am feeling as only her sorrow at being a widow matters.

I have realised that I have been pretty narcissist myself – something revealed in therapy – as I have offered the world a false image too :

I have been very lonely all my life despite being the clown and the person who makes people feel better.
I say I am well even when I am not.
I am a good little soldier coping with whatever crap life throw at me because I had to, both my parents were obsessed with each other, and I only existed to be picked on when one of them wanted to vent their frustration at the other.

I have put put up with nonsense in the hope of a scrap of love or a tiny morsel from emotionally- unavailable men.
I have had a string of selfish and needy girlfriends who I let used me to make themselves feel good just like my mum did all my childhood.
I have had a job I held on too long, like the one I had before because I wanted the sense of security a family gives – something I never really had , and have become an underachiever.

My father, 5 years ago after a heart attack he recovered from, set some money away for me to pay his death duties in my name ( I am an only child ). All his money went to my mother. I never asked my parents for anything because they had me feel so useless, asking them for help would have said : you were right, I am useless.

Anyway, I always wanted to have a breast reduction because my breasts ( 38 G) are large for the rest of my body ( I am a fit 5.7, for 140 lbs) and make my scoliosis worse. Been thinking about it for 5 years yet I only got a consult 9 months ago with a surgeon I liked as I have been too scared. Last month I decided to use the 5ooo he left me for the operation, and cover the rest. I called the surgeon 2 weeks ago and set a date in Feb. I know I should keep it in the saving account but I said – F*ck it – I am going to do what I want and what feels right to me. Strangely instead of being worried, I am at peace with myself.

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Sharon December 11, 2013 at 6:37 pm

I am stuck between my job and my kids. No fun for a single mom, with few friends, in a relatively new city.

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Manda December 13, 2013 at 10:45 am

Where to start. I left a man who I knew I wasn’t suppose to marry. Hoping things would somehow click of I left. But turns out he won’t leave me and let me be free. He holds money and expenses against me. Worse he throws it all in my face when it comes to my son. I am stuck at the first job that would hire me. It pays not enough to take care of my son and I. So I have no choice but to ask for help from him. My son isn’t his and there’s no support from his biological father. So I guess I don’t know how to get motivated to find a better job after not working for four years and ending up at this job I am at. I am so unhappy in all aspects of my life because of these situations. And worse– I hate how tasteless and meaningless everyday has become. I have no excitement and no attention from man besides my “husband”. Which I am afraid to file because I know all assistance and health insurance will be gone. Geez, it looks so bad in writing. I have been stuck for the sake of my son and I being thrown out of our apartment, and no health insurance. Sorry for the novel sisters…

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Veronica December 15, 2013 at 10:32 pm

Manda, I love that you were so bold and brave enough to share your story. Now we can, together as Sisters, help bring you up even further! Perhaps these experiences are calling you to stand in your Inner Warrior Woman Power, https://www.facebook.com/groups/125419224181211/ let us support you here sweet Sister as there are more SG’s who can help you <3 <3

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Manda December 16, 2013 at 8:23 am

Thank you for the invite. It won’t let me go on the group page. I am trying to be brave and strong in all aspects of my life. Could use the love & support.

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Veronica December 16, 2013 at 8:34 pm

have you clicked the button to ask to be invited? if you have, someone should let you in shortly. <3

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Veronica December 15, 2013 at 10:22 pm

I am so fucking stuck between my longing to take Mastery and my obligation to listen to my parents and lay off of it until I pay back my student loans which I am afraid I won’t be able to until I’m 30!!!!

I am stuck between my job and major at college. My job while it provides little security financially and I am still dependent on my parents, it gives me some money to work with and I am grateful. But it’s not something that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning! And my major is something I’m not passionate about that much either!
I am grateful for my parents and their financial support but I feel so fucking stuck with money!!!
I’m stuck in romantic relationships, always second guessing myself only ever been on one date and at 21 still haven’t even been kissed and I know its because of my fear of getting too close and getting my heart broken so I act numb and cold and even though I have wonderful friendships I cut myself off from romance because I find myself drawn to guys I know because they are familiar
Ahhh!!! I feel stuck!!!

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G December 16, 2013 at 3:19 pm

I am stuck in a warehouse job with not ohnest, maninpulative management. I sort people’s cast offs all day for 7.25 an hour. I have gotten yelled/screamed at by the boss several times. Lately now this boss is trying to give me crap because I choose to wear dresses and skirts there. Dresses there make me feel good. I want out. I have had alot of jobs, and tired of job hopping but sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo want out.

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C.A. Lewis-McCarren December 22, 2013 at 11:10 pm

OMG…..I am STUCK. This is what is so wrong with me. I am 48 years old, raised 2 older children, have two younger children, was a military wife for 18 years, went through total hell with a PTSD ex-husband who only wanted to waste away in his own misery, finally couldn’t take it anymore and left (actually I took him back to his home town and set him up in his own apartment and took care of him long distance for 2 more years) decided to move for the 33rd time to the middle of Indiana (where I knew NO ONE!!!!) and start over with my two special needs little boys. My mother died during that year, I bought a delapitated old farm house and took my frustrations out on hanging sheet metal on barns that were falling down. I bought a riding lawn mower and cut grass with my boys on my lap all summer. I met a man on Match.com and married him 2 months later. He turned out to be an active alcoholic and for the past 2 years I have dragged through a total toxic relationship that about killed me. Positive outcome: New husband quit drinking 1 year ago – crappy behavior still happened, but is getting better….slowly. Not-so-positive: I am in total burnout mode and am feeling totally overwhelmed and, for the first time in my life – don’t know how to get myself moving forward. Upward. Someward…..any where but going down further.

I’m, not looking to whine and gripe. I am hoping that whoever reads this doesn’t jump to the opinion that I must be totally stupid and sickly co-dependent. I have lived all over this country and I have no close friends…..just because being in the military sort of makes it difficult to keep up those “close” relationships when you aren’t face-to-face any longer. I just crave some understanding and perhaps some female encouragement and nods of heads that they totally understand and have similar stories of “WHAT!!!!! was I thinking???!!!!!” at points in their lives.

I just need……a warm blanket, a nice cup of tea, and the peacefulness of knowing that I am not a total screw-up and life CAN and WILL improve with time. I’ve never felt like this before….so very exhausted and so very defeated. Thank you for letting me be authentic and honest. c.

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Laura December 27, 2013 at 6:43 pm

STUCK – stuck is all I’ve known for most my adult life! I feel so stuck I have no idea what my dreams are. I feel old, used, worn out and no longer pretty and vibrant, alive and excited. Where did it go? Maybe it was the early on abuse, or the drunk I lived with for years or the years of therapy? Maybe it was 13 years of a hell-ride marriage, the bankruptcy, the inability to be intimate and connected, maybe it’s packing & moving over 20 times in my life, having close to 100 jobs or my most recent divorce and yet again – ANOTHER move! Maybe it’s realizing I’m in my mid 50′s & my looks aren’t what they use to be. My exhaustion and lack of vibrancy gone could be from any/all of this and the worst part is thinking THIS IS IT – this deadness is what remains (forever). A bit bitter-yes, a bit envious of my teenager nieces who have their looks & lives ahead of them-yes.

So how do I come out of 55 years of being used up and not remembering who I am or what I want!? How do I overcome believing that I just have NO energy left or will power or discipline to change a dam thing, that it’s just plain hopeless so WHY TRY? And even if I did, I wouldn’t know what it was I want or how to start.

I know I want girlfriends, their mostly gone now and I want a man in my life and I want to be physically active. I’d like to have a job I like but have not figured that out in 40 years! I want to have some form of libido and I want to feel pretty and ALIVE again but I feel absolutely the farthest possible from that.

Life ZAPPED the life out of me…..and now I’m flat-lining. It is all I have energy to do is flat-line.

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Sher January 8, 2014 at 12:52 pm

In the comments below, post an area where you are stuck. You can be free as a bird in one area of your life, and locked and bolted in another. We all have them.
Up until this point I have felt utterly stuck in the areas of relationships (i.e., the committed love relationship kind) and my occupation. I am open to experiencing a committed love relationship that knocks my socks off (and his too). I am open to fun and interesting occupations that feel like play and pay me well in tangibles like overflowing financial prosperity and intangibles like feeling warm and fuzzy about my work/ play.

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entwyf January 15, 2014 at 7:11 am

I am stuck because I don’t know how to let go of the idea of a relationship. I am sixty; the last time I had a man interested in me, calling me, going out with me was when I was forty. Literally.

Until last summer, I had twenty years of nothing clicking, nothing working out, no interest at all from any man despite my desire, despite my efforts to meet and get to know someone. But . . . nothing.

Then at church I met an amazing, stand-up, real-deal good guy, someone all my friends said is an amazing, stand-up, real-deal good guy. We slowly started to get to know one another, and his attitudes and behavior were extremely consistent with what I observed and what others said of him. He was and is amazing.

Just a couple of months ago, he took me out for dinner for my birthday, and I thought it was the start of a more serious level of relationship. Since then, for reasons I can only dimly grasp, his interest has waned. I have tried very hard to not to let panic and insecurity gain control (“What’s wrong?! Why don’t you like me anymore?”) because that has killed relationships for me in the past. When I see him at church, I engage in pleasant conversation. I will send him the occasional e-mail with a funny cartoon or whatever. But clearly he is not interested in asking me out again.

It is clear that I have to let go of the hope of having a relationship with him, and I have to do it in a way that respects him, because he has done nothing wrong; he has been nothing less than a really decent human being.

Problem is that, at my age, having tried blind dates, having tried dating websites, and having given up hope of ever meeting anyone, I have to move on . . .

But I don’t know where to go. I know intellectually that it is not a bad thing to be in my situation because I have friends, I have meaningful activities in my life . . . but the idea of spending the rest of my life alone is still terribly, terribly depressing.

Yet being where I am is even more depressing.

So I’m stuck.

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Laura January 28, 2014 at 10:34 am

I am stuck. I am stuck because it hurts me that I don´t really know what the deepest desire in my heart is. I can´t get there. Mama Gena says that if you follow your deepest wish you will succeed and I totally believe that is true. But what is my desire? And how do I get there?

I know that I want to be a coach, I want to help people to help themselves. But until now I don´t even know how to help myself. How can I be able to help others when I cannot even help myself? I am so full of doubts. And I feel like the world doesn´t really need me, I feel worthless. I can tell myself that I am pretty and special and all, and on some level I know that I am. But then- there comes doubt again. I try to make a move towards what I think might be the right direction to follow my heart- but then I don´t know anymore. Can I do this? Is this my deepest desire? Or am I just compensating my fears with it? It is such a terrible state of mind right now. I´m so lost.

I really really wish that there was a special woman to help me to lead my way. I think my mom is this woman in my personal life. But in my Job- I just feel like I don´t belong here. I hate the city I where I work, I hate to come here every day. I wish I could apply for another job, but I can´t find a job in my hometown where really wanna be. And telling me that this is exactly the right place to be seems like impossible. I really feel stuckedy-stuck-stuck. Besides- in my company, if i wanna achieve a higher career level I probably have to chance my personality- and that sucks so hard. I really like the way I am and I don´t want to change or adapt that, not even for a job. That would be livin a lie, wouldn´t it? Or am I just unable to adapt? ARRRRGH!

These thoughts are bulls&%§/(! But I sure feel better writing them down and sharing them with you♥. I hope anyone can relate to what I am talking about and maybe share their thoughts about it with me. I really could use some inspiration….

Love

Laura

PS: sorry for my English, I am a german gal.

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Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:36 am

Hi Mama Gena,

Thank-you for the wonderful weekend.

I am stuck with my non-career career – stuck doing temping and when I am not temping – working at a call center for minimum wage plus small bonuses.

I am stuck in telling people what I do for a living – you know, that “elevator speech” – don’t know what to say. What “I am an Administrative Assistant and have been temping mainly in academia for the past 10 years – the past 3 years have been working as a “temp” –

I am stuck in my limbo education state – stuck in indecision about whether or not to go back to school and complete my undergraduate degree. (Though I love to learn – am a book-a-holic – I have found writing academic papers and taking exams anxiety provoking) and am stuck in thinking I’m too old to go back to school (Even though I know that’s not true). And stuck in feeling ashamed that I did not finish at least an undergraduate degree. I am stuck in feeling defensive about being well read and intellectually smart – but having nothing to show for it (aka a diploma, etc) – I guess you could say I am stuck in my ego.

I am stuck in believing I am an artist/writer – but ashamed to say that because I feel like a fraud. Stuck in believing I can help people and having wonderful gifts, but not knowing how to use them.

Gosh, this is good – this naming without explaining.

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Sister Goddess Janice February 3, 2014 at 11:37 am

p.s. I forget to call myself Sister Goddess.

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Sister Goddess Lele March 9, 2014 at 9:44 pm

I understand the word stuck so well. A relationship with a wonderful man ended about 6 months ago. When I was with him, I felt beautiful, strong and powerful. But alas, things were not meant to be. I delved back into the online dating scene, but it all just felt yucky. So here I am, desiring a relationship filled with affection, joy, humor, inspiration, passion, intelligence, and depth. I intend to magnetize that into my life very soon.

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Jennifer March 27, 2014 at 12:55 pm

I am stuck. My mother has terminal cancer and I take care of her. In return, she allows me to live in her rental house and pays my utilities and helps me take care of my children, financially. So they have good clothes and educational opportunities and lots of food and rooms of their own and good health insurance. All the things they wouldn’t have if I was the only one taking care of them. And so enter guilt. Because I am desperate to get out of here. I have never supported myself. All my adult life, I have done this – 15 years! My parents taught me that I was not capable of supporting myself. I know this to be untrue in my heart of hearts. But I don’t know how to make it happen. I am stuck in not-knowing.

My desire is to feel freedom – real freedom, to do what I want, to be who I am, to know who that woman is and what she really wants.

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trish April 13, 2014 at 8:59 pm

I’m stuck in the prison of my own mind. Now that I’m not raising my kids anymore, and my husband changed his career, and we moved halfway across the country, (from Oregon to Louisiana) and that was a complete flop to boot, I finally have all the time in the world to choose what I really want to do. And I have no idea what that is. I have no passion in my life. Not for myself, or for my husband. It seems like since I’ve lost a sense of direction in my life, my marriage has taken a nose dive. And I’m waking up to the fact that my sense of direction was always pointing me toward making sure everyone else’s needs and desires were met and accomplished before mine. My desire would be to have a reason to get out of bed every day. To dress up and show up. Maybe if I find something to be excited about, I might find the love and passion for my husband that feels gone. Maybe I’ll find I don’t really need that. I don’t know.

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