Tomorrow night is a big night for me.
There is this guy I have been kind of seeing.
I like him a lot, a lot more than anyone that I have dated in a really long time.
Which is awesome, amazing and I am so very grateful.
And if we are to go to the next level, together, I have this obligation to myself.
I need to lay out for him, as clearly as I can, exactly what my desires are.
Well, if I don’t, he will never ever have a shot at making me happy. He will always be confused and guessing, missing some, hitting others.
And uncertainty is so very un-sexy.
It’s actually worse than un-sexy.
It’s kind of mean.
The most generous thing I can do for him, for us, is to be outrageously raw and greedy with my desires.
In fact, last week, when we were together, he asked me for my desires. He wanted to know what I wanted from him, and as happy as I was for his interest, at that moment, I was not prepared to answer. But I have been thinking about his question for a few days, and allowing my imagination to soar and fly. And now, I am ready for him.
How about you?
If your lover/husband/girlfriend/wife/boyfriend asked you what you want, would you be able to answer that question?
Or are you just kind of vaguely going with the flow?
Do you think she/he should automatically know what it is that you want?
Or are you so pissed, that you have not gotten what you want yet, that you refuse to tell him/her?
Are you embarrassed about the pure raw desires that you have?
And do you keep those desires under wraps?
Women have not been taught to prioritize our desires. In fact, we have been told to hide them. Who hasn’t demurred when someone has asked if you might like the last piece of chocolate cake? Or where you might like to go for dinner?
Who has decided not to approach that hot guy/gal at the party, because there was already someone else talking to him/her? Ugh.
And who pays the price when we don’t get what we want?
Not only us, but everyone around us.
Why? Because a large case of cranky sets in when a woman ignores her desires.
Cranky is not something to ignore.
In fact, it’s kind of the epidemic condition amongst women right now.
Mildly annoyed can become a way of life, if you are not careful. Especially since so many women are modeling that look on the runway of life, these days.
When unchecked, cranky can slowly, almost invisibly, exterminate all the fun.
For you, and everyone in your vicinity.
And you and I know those people. (Or, are those people. ) Those people who can never even imagine something more wonderful than you could ever dream could ever come true.
Which is a good way of automatically making sure it never ever does.
So, in an effort to make sure that each of us has the best possible Valentine’s Day, I have a proposition, and an assignment for you.
The proposition is this: I want to know everything that you want to know about relationships and sex. I want to have a chance to answer all your questions. This is my area, my expertise, my joy and my delight. And I want to serve you every which way I can, to make sure that no matter where you are in your relationship life, or your sex life, that you have to best possible Valentine’s Day that any woman could have, and the best next steps as you navigate your way to having the sex you deserve and the relationships you long for.
Ask your questions below, and I’ll use them to guide the next few weeks’ blog posts, as well as our Facebook posts, for the rest of the month. I might just answer yours specifically!
And my assignment for you is this: Also in the comments section below, make a list of everything your heart desires, for Valentine’s Day, and for every day. (Click to tweet!) The place where a woman’s desires can run free is inside a community of sisterhood. If you can imagine it, you can have it. Because we are all women, and all of us have amazing beautiful huge glorious desires, it means that once our desires are unlocked, we can each create anything and everything that we long for, including a magnificent ever-expanding sex life and an unprecedented relationship life. Together, all of our desires are possible. A woman’s desire is the most powerful force on earth. Blow me away with how greedy you can be!
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