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When life throws you a curveball…

Life transitions…

Such a polite way to describe what are really the dark nights of the soul, those dark, difficult turning points in life. Just when you think you have it all figured out…

WHAM! Life turns you upside down and shakes you.

I know that many of you are going through your own exploding version of a life transition, right now. In fact, in reviewing all your questions for this summer series, so many of you asked about what to do during these complex times of revolutionary and evolutionary change.

Really, what to do when the proverbial s&*t hits the fan??

We don’t always realize that we actually design our s&*t-hitting experiences, do we?  We feel undone and done to, and I have to say, I have felt like the biggest loser on the victim bus so many times in my life, ’til the Womanly Arts brought me to my senses.

Let me introduce our gorgeous and fabulous panelists for this week: Rebecca, Sade, and Elan. In the video below, they are generous enough to share their own experiences during life transition. Then below they answer your direct questions for applying the Womanly Arts.

Now that you know our ladies, let’s see how they have addressed some of your direct questions!

I am scared that taking the risk to do what I want won’t work out, and I will have nothing. What do I do?

Elan:

If you are following your pleasure then you can’t possibly go wrong and you will never be left with nothing. Standing for yourself and your pleasure is what the Universe wants, and if you keep your eyes open and your antennas tuned in, opportunities will start popping up everywhere! The universe is way more creative than you or I and it will come up with opportunities that you never dreamed of.  It may feel scary to do this, but I’ve learned over and over again that its true.

A great way to stay open to the universe is to dance. Get in motion, move your body, feel the flow. Take every opportunity to dance break in celebration of your fabulous, pleasure-filled new life that starts today!

How can I feel like a goddess even when I am grieving?

Sade:

With courageous honesty and the 3 steps I outlined below, that’s how…

  1. Give yourself permission to fall apart with the understanding that one of the highest forms of divinity is in allowing and accepting the ruptures in our lives. In those times, you get to be your very own phoenix rising from the ashes, and really when do we ever get permission to reinvent ourselves? Ummm, can you say the ultimate makeover party?! Remember, we are Sister Goddesses goddesses, not superheroes, so our first step is to throw out the preconceived notion that Sister Goddesses have to have it all together all the time & always have it “going on.”
  2. Treat grief like a medical emergency and triage the situation by using AS MANY TOOLS AS POSSIBLE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. If you think you are flatlining…let the Tools be your life support.
    • Swamping: (From our Womanly Arts Mastery Program) Acknowledge the rupture with the most transparent grieving you have ever done. Tap into the power and strength that comes from the clarity of the breakdown (what the hell are you really crying for?) and then Swamp the shit out of it as if you were a drunk chick at your own bachelorette party…go all out (down to having another SG hold your hair while you throw up…I mean really go there)!
    • Spring Clean: Don’t suffer in silence–reach out to community and spring clean on ANY & EVERYTHING that comes up for you around your grief as often as necessary…you have to get rid of the charge to really feel your goddess energy more profoundly. Last of the Tools would be to do a trinity [a brag, a gratitude and a desire] EVERY SINGLE DAY.
    • Bragging: I find bragging a fun and powerful Tool when things are good in my life, but I find it to be a revolutionary one when I’m sad and feeling sorry for myself. Forcing yourself to brag about things in your life on those dark, gloomy days is like an electric bolt to your divine Goddess energy. The articulation of a gratitude and desire helps to put things in perspective and can also act as a measuring stick and a plan for your well-being and personal care…basically your light at the end of the tunnel.
    • Desire List: Your desire list can help provide you with a destination through the often disorienting change.
  3. Third, and maybe the most important step of all, is to be gentle with yourself. Be patient, don’t compare, deny, suppress, judge or condemn the process. Celebrate the sadness and the pain. Ceremonialize it by performing one act of kindness to and for yourself each day. You need pampering now more than ever so give yourself permission to do so. Mama Gena taught me that the goddess in rupture demands that she too be treated divinely with pleasure even through the ugly cry and snotty sobs.

How can you stay confident in your decision to make a change, while undergoing the stressors of the transition?

Elan:

This is where the Tools come into play BIG TIME!  Spring cleaning, swamping and keeping lists of gratitudes and desires were my Tools of choice during the scariest parts of this transition. Spring cleaning and swamping helped me process the doubts and fear, gratitudes kept me in a positive, peaceful place, and desires helped me stay clear and excited about where I was headed. All of these Tools are great on their own, but they are wicked powerful when you practice them in community! Surrounding yourself with women who are totally on your side and supportive of your desires is absolutely essential. Don’t even think about doing this alone!

When I experience an abrupt loss, liking getting fired or breaking up, how can I find my way through the shock to know what is true in my gut?

Sade:

The answer is you won’t know at first…you can’t.  Everything is so jumbled at first and your mind body spirit connection is in survival mode. But with time, patience and the ability to listen without defense, you will begin to notice a voice/feeling that will rise from the chaos and debris. That is your gut. However, the recognition of your gut can be the hardest part. All too often we are more comfortable ignoring this voice and lamenting over “knowing better” than being brave enough to stand for ourselves and walk the walk of our gut, which often requires earth-shaking radical change.

Do you have advice for the newly single woman in her 40’s? Or for the divorcee after 18 years? Or for the lady growing older and wanting to feel young again?

Rebecca:

First of all, I want you to know that I have never felt better about myself in my life, because of the Womanly Arts. And if I can do it, you can do it! What’s my secret? I can’t say it enough times: pleasure & community, pleasure & community, pleasure & community…like a never-ending pattern that wraps around me.

  • Pleasure: I do as many things as I can that bring me out of my head and into pleasure. I take dance classes. I got a trainer. I ride my bike. I got a rebounder and rebound. I deluge my life with fun things that bring me back to my joyspot. I will do whatever it takes to get me in a good place. I will stop at nothing. And I accept the fact that for me it takes many streams of input and activities to get me out of a rocky spot. Don’t just stop at one watering hole. Visit many! View your new freedom as this delicious opportunity for reinvention and variety.
  • Community: Although I have always been a social person blessed with a lot of friends, I needed a new group of friends, and I found that through the Mama Gena community. I needed women that would support me where I was at and were fun and available to do fun things on weekends. Go to sistergoddess.com and see what other goddesses are doing and get your butt out there. There are endless events to do together.

How do I let my freedom to be ME infiltrate my professional life?

Elan:

Don’t worry, it will happen naturally. As you make internal shifts, they will ripple out in all directions and will impact every area of your life without you even being aware of it!  It may take longer to infiltrate your professional life, but it will get there!

For me, I’ve undergone a radical redefining of leadership since I started working with the Womanly Arts. I was brought up in a very male-dominated work culture that was built on hierarchies and top-down power dynamics. A good work ethic seemed to be measured by how much of your life you were willing to give up to hard work and stress. It never felt right to operate that way, but I was trained to view anything else as weak and ineffective.

It’s been an absolute revolution to my senses to shift those beliefs and to apply the practice of pleasure to every area of my life, including my work. Work can be fun?! What a concept! And what an important shift to make, considering how much of our time is spent in the workplace. I’m in a leadership role so I’m in a good position to create meaningful shifts in work practices for myself and my staff.

I have guilt about not being more present before my parents died. What do I do?

Sade:

This is a common question around grief, because the fact of the matter is we ALL wish we were more present or had said that one last thing, no matter what. When time gets cut short there are always regrets. Listen, I lived with my mom and spoke to her every single day. She was my best friend and even I feel like I could have been there for her more.

  • That said you need to forgive yourself. Really and truly. And how do you do that? Spring clean as much as you need to on the topic and then maybe do what I do (often–yes, even 5 years later) find a pic of your loved one, light a candle in front of it, write and then read out loud what you are forgiving yourself for, and then ask for their forgiveness.
  • Next write and read aloud ALL the things you wish you had told your folks or done with them. All the secrets, all the feelings and fears; all of the regrets, misgivings and desires, and then end by saying “I release myself and all of these feelings to you, Universe. May they soar on the wings of angels delivered safe and sound to their anointed and appointed place. So be it. It is done. Thank you!”
  • Desire List: Turn the desire list on yourself. Desire forgiveness. Desire to be released from the guilt of not spending enough time with your parents before they passed.

Now that everyone is all fired up, Rebecca, Sade and Elan have agreed to come online for the next few days and interact in the comments!

So be sure to share your comments below.  Share your story, ask a followup question, and if you’ve got tips and stories to contribute as you read others’, please do share.

Thank you all.  I love our community and am so glad to be in conversation with you.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

 

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  • Abisola August 6, 2013, 12:11 pm

    Thank you all for your inspiring shares from the heart, in particular Sister Goddess, Sade! I loved supporting you to fly. You are okay, I am okay and we are living in an incredible moment of prosperity. Let’s create, the sky is not the limit!

    • SG Sade August 11, 2013, 12:44 pm

      Love you to Life Abisola so many great things waiting for us this year!!!

  • Allison (Out Loud) Gustavson August 3, 2013, 9:48 am

    Oh was this video an IV drip directly to the soul. I have been – for circumstantial reasons, mostly, though some internally fabricated ones – living in a highly functional state of over-functioning for many months. Selling two houses, living with in-laws for two months while in transition (which means, above all else, being the best daughter-in-law ever and rarely moving away from the dishwasher, always having a smile and a ready, I’m-on-it quip!), moving, organizing, TCB’ing and little else. It’s been utterly fine, but ‘fine’ is, of course, not a state to which we all particularly aspire. I have, in many ways, even found a way to compartmentalize my SWA journey and put it aside like so many of the boxes we’ve been labeling for storage; I’ve been resting on my laurels, on the ways I know I’ve been changed by this community, but the tools – the actual living, breathing essence of our learning – are gathering dust. I am so very grateful for this video, for you four amazing women (and all of you who I know were behind the camera – doing the arranging, the filming, the everything-ing as well) for this organ-massaging reminder of what life is like on the flip side of functioning: teeming with emotion, space, swirling with feeling and power unlike anything that can be fed to us from the external world. Grateful, invigorated, grateful, invigorated. xoxoxoxoxoxo

  • Anne August 1, 2013, 4:13 pm

    I finally had the opportunity to watch this video and it was so good to hear you all speak! Love that pink dress, Mama Gena! All three of these extraordinary women inspired me at some point(s) during Mastery this year. I am in EXACTLY the place of career transition before jumping off the cliff. I am STUCK, STUCK, STUCK at the edge with fear. I too am in the theatre business. But the company I work for is in dire financial straights and my boss has done something illegal and she doesn’t know I know. So I’m carrying the burden of a secret everyday to the office. I want and need to so something different – and soon. But fear is putting up all kinds of blocks in the way – especially the one that requires me to reach out for help, to talk to other women who have gone through this kind of career change. Why am I so afraid of reaching out for help in moving forward? Where’s my lightning? But watching these three women speak I feel some courage spark inside me. A voice that says, why not reach out to one person – today? Thank you ladies!

    • Elan August 2, 2013, 1:37 pm

      Do it Anne! I double dare you!
      I would start by stating your desires for your perfect work situation. Meditate on how it would feel to wake up in the morning excited to know that you get to go to a job that you love, be with people you really like and do work that is meaningful and fulfilling for you. That’s what you deserve and there is no reason why you can’t have it! Jump!

      • SG Sade August 11, 2013, 12:54 pm

        Hi Anne!!! So transparency is the first step & you did that brilliantly! So Congratz!! Bet it felt good to share..don’t you feel a bit lighter?? Keep moving in this direction, perhaps don’t think about how big of a transition you feel is needed, from experience that can be a bit overwhelming. Take it step by step, one day at a time, as long as you are moving in the direction of your desires you will get to where you want to be. You got this!!!

  • SG Dancing Dark Angel July 31, 2013, 4:31 pm

    Dear Mama Gena, Sade, Elan and Rebecca-
    Wow, talk about exquisite timing! I am in the process of transitioning and have been feeling a bit swampy. Your video and your answers to some of the questions reminded me again that the tools are there, I just need to use them! I love our community and have taught my daughter (entering her sophomore year in college this fall) the brag-gratitude-desire “trinity” which is a wonderful way to connect with each other, to ground our emotions/feelings and to uplift each other as well. As crazy as this transition time is at work and at a personal level (re-orgs at work, plans to relocate which could mean letting go of 90% of my material goods- talk about separation anxiety- continuing my transition into empty nester….). I brag that this video and the blogs found me at the right moment! Thank you thank you thank you for your generosity- for which I am sooooo grateful. Ah yes, and I desire EXQUISITE TIMING during this transition! Much love to you beautiful SG’s and Mama <3 <3 <3

    • SG Sade August 11, 2013, 12:46 pm

      So shall it be Sister Goddess or even BETTER!!! Your desire is sooooooo on its way to you!!

  • Chantal July 31, 2013, 10:58 am

    My question is for Elan…is she now a practicing midwife ??

    • Elan August 1, 2013, 12:02 pm

      Hello Chantal,

      Thank you for asking! I am a doula and the Executive Director of a not for profit that I founded called Choices in Childbirth. We believe that birth is a sacred event and that every woman and child deserves a birth experience that is safe, healthy, empowering, respectful and deeply satisfying. We do education, outreach and advocacy work in NYC and nationally to help families make informed decisions about where, how and with whom to birth. One of the biggest hurtles that I had to cross in order to step into this work and really show up as a leader was to overcome my debilitating fear of public speaking. This community helped me overcome that fear as this video demonstrates!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6In-B5Ogk8

  • SG Manifestrix Alyssa July 31, 2013, 10:58 am

    Thank you all for this beautiful video! It was so affirming to hear how all of you left situations that no longer served you and took a leap of faith to follow your dreams. Such miraculous courage and beauty in your actions. And thank you, Sade, for honoring your darkness and giving her a voice at the table. It was so helpful to hear that as I get ready to allow the darkness to take over and allow myself to grieve in a way that I have never grieved before.

  • JEV July 31, 2013, 10:50 am

    Lost my mom (my best friend) last year. Am in a career that I have completely outgrown and have no interest in. And, am in a marriage for 36 years that is on the rocks. I could relate to all three ladies. Every day I dream of something different and yet stay stuck…. I think I need a big dose of D’Mama!

    • Elan August 1, 2013, 11:49 am

      Jev,
      I’m standing for you and holding loving space for you as you navigate these transitions. I think your intuition is right, a big dose of Mama Gena and this community will provide you with the support and tools you need to not only survive all of life’s challenges but to thrive!

  • SG Quiksilver Sizzle Lara July 31, 2013, 10:07 am

    Thank you so much for creating this video. It completely took me back to my beautiful, curious, happy and hopeful self which I was not feeling this morning until now. You guys are brilliant and thank you so much for sharing your amazing stories.

  • Dawn July 31, 2013, 9:08 am

    I am here with my eyes and ears open. I am finally bottoming out from a life of giving and loss. I turned 59 in June. Not happy and not finding the joy that I deserve in life. I have financial woes, I have health problems, I have adult children I still worry about, I have grandchildren I worry about. My health problems are affecting my career as a massage therapist and I just don’t have the energy anymore. I am drained….completely exhausted. My first husband left me when the kids were in their teens, left us completely devastated, stayed alone for 3 years, then got married again….divorced again 4 years ago. Menopause just shook me to the core and I have never recovered. When my first husband deserted us about 20 years ago, I was in a sea of family woes…..grieving….my sister died at 46 after battling leukemia for 10 years, my mother went downhill and proceeded to be diagnosed with early onset Alzteimers and it was a terrible decline for 10 years for her until her death, my younger brother developed a unstable mental disorder when his baby girl (my niece) died in her crib before the age of 2….all of these early losses in life for me took a very deep toll on my being, my heart was broken and to this day I have the scars still there. Also my father left me at age 17 when he died of heart failure. I was sexually abused by my eldest brother when I was just 12 years old…..I find this accumulation of losses and grief to be overwhelming and when I went through menopause, my life seem to just fall apart. These days I do things because I have to, not because I feel like I want to. I can’t figure out how to be financially independent which takes a huge toll on me along with my health issues….I have Lymes and Fibromyalgia or so they say….I know it’s the hardest thing to get going and get out of the bed in the morning….but I do. I just want to release my grief and guilt and live the rest of my years with a peace and joy and adventure and zest for life! But I am stuck. Thank you so much for letting me listen and be a part of your group Mama Gena.

    • Elan August 1, 2013, 11:42 am

      Dawn, I have a feeling that your 60s are going to be epic!! Working with Mama Gena and this community will help you shift your relationship with your past and all of the challenges that are weighing you down. When you make a positive shift in your relationship with the past, all of these events become fuel to take you higher! These experiences (the heartbreak, the struggle, the pain) helped create the divine woman that you are today! Prepare to be adored by a community of women that celebrates you and every experience that brought you to this moment.
      For right now – Have you tried keeping a gratitude journal next to your bed? Before you go to sleep every night, list every little thing that you are grateful for. Guaranteed it will make it much easier to get out of bed in the morning! Thank you for your transparency and for showing up here so fully! You’re going to rock this next decade!! Get ready!

  • SG Susie July 31, 2013, 7:10 am

    Wonderful stuff Mama Gena! It’s so great to see you at your most exquisite as you interact with other women. My favourite parts of the video. Huge cheers to the three amazing SGs who have figured out how to begin living their legends. Soooo with you girls!
    xxoo

  • Karla July 31, 2013, 12:16 am

    Amazing first video. Thank you for sharing your truths, ladies – you were all so beautiful and so inspiring!! – and Mama Gena, thank you for creating such a sacred space and the wonderful work that you do. Over the past 10 years or so, I’ve been blessed to participate in communities of women that have allowed me to grow both personally and spiritually; it’s been amazing. But over the past 4-5 years, I’ve been going through some life transitions that I’ve been allowing, accepting and processing — loss of a hero, my father, breaking up with a long-time partner, loss of a job, loss of properties, a move from Los Angeles where I’ve been living for 17 years to San Francisco, moving back in with my mom and brothers, helping my Mom get through breast cancer and starting a business. Viewing this first video reminded me that it’s time to create this space for myself again. I’ll be signing up for the bootcamp. 😉

  • Sherrie Huckelberry July 30, 2013, 8:03 pm

    since this wrist injury happened . My innerbitch is showing up often. Its the leading side of my body that has been compormised n the feelings of vunderability is prevalant! I guess part of this transistion is being very verbal about safe bounderies- physically,emotionally n in ways I may not even recognize ! My concern is I am building walls around my ability to reach out n connect. Any advice ?

  • Kimberly July 30, 2013, 7:41 pm

    This video made me cry…in that good way! I have been struggling with my own transitions and feeling very stuck at times and unclear which path to follow. I’ve had the incredible career in technology then left it all to teach my own brand of sacred dance where loving and playing with our light and dark pieces are the most important things in my class. It is very beautiful to watch a persons unfolding. But right now, I have a waiting list but feel un-inspired to teach. (Which makes me sad) So, I’ve taken a hiatus. My body and my mind are tired and I had hoped that I would be rejuvenated somehow I would come back to life after a few months. I know there is something inside of me that wants to be able to offer more in the world…a vibrant version, the aliveness that I know I am, somewhere. It is at a point in my life that I am forced to put myself first because the body and mind are refusing to play. Part of me feels like my transition is taking way too long. This video gives me hope for today. I so want my va-va-voom back!

    I’m very inspired to hear that each person has made it through their transitions. And I loved seeing these beautiful women talk about their real lives. Thank you for being so open and honest!

    Looking forward to creating my new life and finding my va-va-voom again! I am signed up for Mastery 2014.

    Thanks for listening,
    Kimberly

  • Oda July 30, 2013, 7:38 pm

    Thank you for reminding me to seek out true joy and inspiration when facing life choices – it’s so easy to forget! 🙂

  • Kimberly July 30, 2013, 7:34 pm

    As for me I am still in my big health challenge (internal health issues-too long of a list, foot injury, shoulder injury) and sometimes the best I can do is dance one song where I dance my heart out. If I am angry…I pick a song that is right for that expression. If I am sad…I pick a sad song. I try as much as possible to acknowledge where I am at today. If I am in love with my life I pick something that is bubbly and loveable. Sometimes, just dancing one song is a big accomplishment inside of all the other stuff going on in my life. This is what brings me pleasure in my day.

    With a loving, playful dancing heart,
    Kimberly

    • SG Sade July 31, 2013, 3:27 am

      Well bragged Kimberly! Thanks for demonstrating the resilience woman, standing in and for her own pleasure & joy! Way to rock your life transition! These are great tips! Thanks paying your pleasure forward!

  • Susan July 30, 2013, 7:24 pm

    Really inspiring. There is so much to be grateful for in my own life at age 29, yet I’ve already lived through tough times. And sometimes, I’m just so scared that I won’t find the right job, will never marry or get kids, or will be too poor to be able to afford children. I’m so grateful for this community plus my real-life friends and my family who help me to get over those fears. Where do they come from though and why does one feel so helpless in those moments?

    • SG Sade July 31, 2013, 3:23 am

      Great question Susan! I have to say you asking the questions you are asking and checking in with this community makes you leap years ahead of me when I was 29. So much wisdom in just asking the questions and yearning for more. Right on! All of these wonderful questions are such a magnificent step in the right direction. In my experience your fears are present to highlight what you hold the most dear. They are a mere indication of what you truly want out of life and to point you in the direction of your true desires. Like you, the feeling of pin pointing what my soul actually desires was overwhelming and often left me feeling helpless & overcome by the importance of it all (by the way that’s how you know it is a real desire that is whispering & waiting for you on the other side of your fears). Though it is much easier said than done, my suggestion is to you is to add divine dragon slayer to your bag of tricks and with every inch of your goddess being continue to be fearless in your pursuit of your desires…because they are sooooooo on their way to you Susan!

  • SG Grace July 30, 2013, 5:44 pm

    Your timing is perfect, Mama Gena! I have been wanting to ask for support around this very topic. My challenge has been a big shift in my health, into very new territory. Since May, I’ve been dealing with figuring out what all these strange symptoms are. I have a heart condition we’re working on rebooting (atrial fibrillation, an irregular heartbeat) and there are mysterious pains that appear in my joints to varying degrees day by day. Hope to get a diagnosis on that next week, if there is a diagnosis to be had. In brief, my normal active self has been dealing with pain every single day.

    Sometimes it’s been all I can do to follow through on the medical stuff, but more and more I’ve been focussing on pleasure and trying to see what I can bring into my life as it is now. I haven’t danced in a long time, just have felt so limited physically.

    Any suggestions?

    I know there are SGs who have gone through big health challenges. I’d love to meet some of them and hear their stories, if that would be possible.

    Thanks!
    SG Grace

  • Kate Lindsay July 30, 2013, 4:30 pm

    Wow! This video resonates with where I am. I feel a deep yearning to be in the bosom of the community. All these beautiful SG’s stories touched my heart. I am in the middle of a transition myself. I just had my second child, who is now almost 9 months old. I’m wanting to launch my career in the world, but it doesn’t feel like the time; even though I’m getting a lot of external pressure to make money and “make something” of myself in the world (especially from my husband)! I want to be grounded and rooted at the same time that I desire freedom. I feel many contradictory elements pushing and pulling at my energy, which leaves me feeling exhausted. I miss the SG community. (I did Mastery in 2011) and want to stay connected and am on this island of motherhood most of the time.

    My question is: how can I best navigate the very tricky balance of motherhood with exploring new career territory? Where can I tune more into the community element and get the support I need?

    Thank you so much for this gorgeous video, Mama! Really! This one really nailed it!

    • Elan July 31, 2013, 12:09 am

      Lindsay,
      First of all, thank you for doing the most challenging and important work that there is in the world – creating, caring for and shaping new human beings. It is a huge frustration to me that we place such a low value on parenting and that so many mothers feel undervalued or overlooked. On top of that, our culture sets moms up to fail no matter what choices they make – we are judged if we stay at home and raise kids, we’re judged if we’re working moms. I suggest that you put your hand on your P, thank her for being the gateway to new life, and see what she tells you about where you should be putting your energy right now. It could be that engaging in a work project will take you higher and inspire you to be a better person and mom. Or you may need more time with your kids. There is no right or wrong. Only you know what is best for you and for your family. I suggest Spring Cleaning regularly on this topic and Yes-ing motherhood – the awesome, the heartbreaking, the hilarious and the shitty! Also, there are many SG moms out there who can hold this space with you. I would throw out a line and pull a few in! Big love to you!!

  • Christy July 30, 2013, 4:18 pm

    I have signed up for the 2014 Womanly Arts class hoping to find tools to reintroduce myself to the happy and fun me! For my income level the cost of this class was quite high, but I just signed up following my instincts. Then I watch this video and read the blog and begin to understand how simple following on faith (signing up on instinct) is going to lead me to places in life that offer pleasures I can’t even currently imagine! Community of supportive women – – how inspiring! Thank you for helping confirm with every story the rightness of my decision to take the class and amp up my excitement level!!! I can’t believe it’s still 8 moths away!

    • Rebecca Lown July 30, 2013, 5:24 pm

      Christy! Your decision is devine and you are so wise to follow your instincts. You will see in time that the investment you made to embark on this path will be the best investment you have ever made. 8 months is just a pleasure filled breathe away.

  • Maryna July 30, 2013, 3:47 pm

    My dear Elan, Sade, Rebecca and Mama Gena,

    The generosity of spirit in this video caused an unexpected tidal wave of tears for me! I realized I had locked down my heart as I was afraid/embarrassed to admit to my circle that I didn’t have it all together during my transition. I, like Rebecca mentioned, get skeptical around communities (too many L.A. disappointments!) and have trained myself to keep one foot in and one foot out. Witnessing the compassion and connection you all share was incredibly powerful and touching. It may take awhile to find the right community for me, but I am not giving up. Venusian hugs to you all! Maryna

    • SG Sade July 30, 2013, 5:00 pm

      Good for you Maryna! You have already started by reaching out here on the blog. The generosity of this community is boundless. What a brilliant woman you are taking the first step and reaching out! If it is your true desire than it is soooooo on it’s way to you!

  • SG Alexandra Pearl July 30, 2013, 1:14 pm

    I want to thank all the women on the panel for sharing their amazing stories with us. But I especially thank SG Sade for reminding me that it’s ok to put a seat at the table for my dark side. Due to taking Mastery, I’ve been working a lot on finding my own self-love, and I have a lot of trouble embracing my dark side sometimes because it can be so painful to face the grieving for the various losses I’ve encountered. Sometimes I feel ashamed by how often I feel this way lately and I want to run away from it. She put it so beautifully that it brought me to tears. Thank you SG Sade for so beautifully expressing permission to set that place at the table for her.

    • SG Sade July 30, 2013, 4:56 pm

      SG Alexandra Pearl it was both my honor and pleasure to share my story! I’m glad it was of some use to you darling. As women in the midst of grief we often are waiting for the doom and gloom to pass over us as if we have a passive role in our healing…I’m here to tell you that time doesn’t always heal anything. We must do the work. We must help the grief move through us so owning it, taking great care of it & yes even celebrating it helps releases us from it. Like Mama always says ALL sides and shades of women are beautiful and deserved to be acknowledged, pampered and made space for at the most decadently decorated table from which nourish and nurture our soul. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • Anna July 30, 2013, 1:03 pm

    Hi there, I wanted to ask what my role was in the shitty situation I found myself in recently. I am 42 and have 2 beautiful kids. Have been married for almost 13 years and going through a divorce right now. I was never entirely happy in my marriage, we’re both from 2 radically different cultures plus he’s narcissistic and I’m codependent meaning I was always bending myself backwards for this marriage to work. I had a goal – I wanted my children to have a stable family to grow up in and, most importantly, a single father (my mother divorced my father when I was one and then went on marrying my stepfather who sexually abused me). I was so focused on that that I never noticed we didn’t actually have a RELATIONSHIP. We never really talked, rather, I nagged and he tried to escape. That’s how it looked – he wasn’t there for us most of the time, physically, mentally, or both. I just didn’ know what to do for him to take care of the kids more, to notice I’m a woman and not part of the furniture, cook and cleaner rolled into one. We never went out together, never celebrated anything and every day looked like the next. I had moved from my native country to London and had kids and that meant almost total social isolation – no friends, no family to support me and him always “working”. Needless to say, I was getting more and more frustrated, especially that I wasn’t earning money and he treated me like dirt because of that. He used money to controll me. A tiny flat (rented), no car, no social life and no career – that was what my life was all about. I had only books and my kids. My friend begged me for 2 years co create a vision board and finally I did – in January this year. I decided that what I wanted (a beautiful family life) was NOT GOING TO HAPPEN in this lifetime or with this man. I cried for hours when I realized that. Fast forward 3 weeks and there appeared another man in my life. Almost like a miracle. He stands for everything I asked for: he loves travelling and cycling, is passionate about his job, likes me and tells me often how gorgeous I am, but he has one fault: he’s married with 3 kids. I knew it from the start and in the beginning we just texted each other. My husband found out, all hell broke loose, husband tried to make up for his past mistakes but because of his reaction to the fact that I was in contact with another man (completely platonic at that point) my trust in him was gone. He read all my sms’s, my emails and was going regularly through my personal things, clothes including. I asked for a period of separation, he lasted slightly over a month, then he moved out. In his culture, people are either married or divorced, full stop. He filed for a divorce. So here I am now, almost divorced, feeling like a heavy stone struck me on the head. Had to go on benefits as my youngest doesn’t go to school yet. My self esteem has hit the lowest point of my life, I feel dumped and have panick attacks all the time. It’s an emotional rollercoaster. I keep thinking I shouldn’t have made the vision board (which is like having a desire list really) and wondering why the Universe has played a joke on me by providing me with a man whose values and committment to his family is exactly what I would like in my partner and at the same time is the very reason why I will NEVER be with him.
    Where am I going wrong???

    • Elan July 30, 2013, 11:43 pm

      Wow Anna! What a juicy rupture! You’ve got mad skills in the conjuring department! What I’m hearing is that you weren’t happy, you recognized that you weren’t happy, and you conjured this rupture that is clearing the way for you to create a better life for yourself and your family. You are one powerful woman! My best suggestion would be for you to get clear on your desires. There is no reason why you can’t conjure up the perfect partner for you who is totally available, will love and protect your children and will show up for you on every level. You just have to be clear about what you desire and trust that it is coming your way!

      • SG Sade July 31, 2013, 2:47 am

        I second Elan’s Wow!!! How prolific you are with your rupture. I couldn’t agree with Elan more. What I would add my darling goddess is this…change is never easy and unfortunately growth comes with growing pains, but in hindsight no matter how abrupt and painful it may seem in the moment it is always worth it in the Blissful end. If you see and really feel this rupture as but one short stop on your journey to living the life you have dreamed of, instead of a destination it might create some room for you to keep walking forward with your desires & pleasure as both your flashlight and compass. Perhaps take a moment and Rejoice (Gratitudes) when you see elements of your desires coming true which is an indication that you are walking in the right direction no matter how dark it may feel. The fact that you conjured a guy that had so many qualities that you desire in only 3 weeks…Powerful! It means he exists & the right man and life situation at the right time is out there waiting for you! Anna, If you manifested all of these deep desires in 3 weeks can you image all of the juicy pleasure & bliss you can conjure in a year! I’m so excited for you!!! Don’t give up! Keep being brave! Keep honing and crafting your desires with more and more clarity. Embrace the dark but do not let yourself be defined by it. Keep us posted you powerful Goddess <3

        • Anna August 1, 2013, 8:17 am

          Thank you for so many kind words! I really need encouragament right now. The courage to actually find out my own desires came after reading Regina’s books, if truth be told. But I wanted to have it all, i.e. become more of myself WITHIN the marriage. In other words, I expected only positive change and never having it even worse, especially financially. When he demanded divorce, I was shell shocked. The biggest fear I have is I won’t be able to provide for the kids and myself and that I’m too old to find a man who would be interested in being with me long term. Sometimes I have this urge to get back together with my husband but at the same time I’m scared it could get even worse after a while. At the moment it’s hard for me to practice the Arts as I’m mostly depressed, to be honest. Thank you for reminding me, SGs Sade and Elan, to stick to my desire list!

  • Leelee July 30, 2013, 12:41 pm

    Hi — Thanks so much for these stories. I especially connected to the answer about grief. I have a follow up question. I’ve had a number of transition moments in a row in the last 6 weeks: breakup of a long term relationship, grandfather dying and, last week, being hospitalized several days for an out-of-the-blue serious infection. I feel like now even my body is failing and I don’t know how to pick up the pieces again and get back into life. There seem like so many changes I want to make: diet, cleanup home/finances, date again, and a career change. But it all seems overwhelming, given everything that’s happened. How do I move out of this continuing swamp and put on that goddess crown to start living the life I want?

    • SG Rebecca July 30, 2013, 5:31 pm

      Leelee. Thanks for showing up here. Everything will unfold in perfect goddessly timing. I too used to get so overwhelmed with all the changes I wanted to make in my life. If you use pleasure as your compass, in time I am sure the shifts you want to make in your life will unfold. What about focusing on one of those areas and really flood it with pleasure! Approaching even the most mundane areas of life with pleasure can really change the lens through which we view our surroundings and circumstances. Sending Love

    • Elan July 30, 2013, 11:13 pm

      The first thing that jumped into my head was Gratitudes! There is no better way to shift your energy and open the way for new possibilities than to acknowledge every little bit of good in your life. I agree with Rebecca, choose one area as a starting point and infuse it with Pleasure. It will take off like a wild fire!

  • Wildcherry July 30, 2013, 12:38 pm

    HUGE HUGE ; magnificent presentation from four incredibly wonderful goddesses. Thank you for the ”inspire-fire fuel for my desires”. I’m grateful. Sister Goddesses rocking my world, yet again. x

    • SG Rebecca July 30, 2013, 5:34 pm

      Thank you Wildcherry for your endless support uprides and gorgeous spirit!!! xxxxoo

  • Kathy July 30, 2013, 12:34 pm

    I truly was inspired to take the time to stop and take in this today. Thank you sweet sisters!

    I live in a very small community where being friendly and flirtatious with men is looked down upon or naturally assumed as if you have an agenda. Fortunately, a dear angel named Kerrie decided to rest her wings for a year in this place and helped me shake off some crap, tip my chin back to the upright and locked position, and carry on!
    I now have two wonderful men courting me and I have no idea what to do! haha No, but really, what do I do? 🙂
    My relationship with my daughters is blossoming!
    I’m scared and so very excited all at the same time!
    Here’s to each day moving upward and onward! LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!

    • SG Sade July 31, 2013, 2:21 am

      Hey Kathy, You are more than welcome! Wether you know it or not you just bragged not once but a few times. So let me be the first to say well bragged Kathy!! Woowhoo!! As for what your are to do, my advise is enjoy the ride!! Enjoy the fruits of your well earned labor of listening to your inner goddess voice (gut instinct) by not giving up the pursuit of your pleasure. If you want to keep stretching your pleasure muscle for fun try writing a desire list & invite your GF Kerri to do one also and the both of you enjoy checking off each desire as it comes to fruition. 2 men courting me…check. My relationship with my daughters blossoming…check. See, look at what a powerful conjuring manifestor you already are. 😉

  • Ellen Levin July 30, 2013, 12:24 pm

    Loved this! Loved mastery 2012…… only made it to a few mastery 2013 classes……..but as always am INSPIRED by the notion of embracing all of the facets of WOMAN! YES YES YES!! and my favorite practiced tool of mama gena’s IS TO YES EVERYTHING AS OFTEN AS I CAN (if not always)…….working on it and EVOLVING TRANSFORMING and FLOURISHING in my life and in my art/banjo/biking/activism, etc……and am grateful to mama gena’s tool that I worked daily for 1 1/2 years……..SPRING CLEANING …..which completely transformed my relationship with my 22 year old son along with so many other MUDDY areas of my life. My son and I now have the best and deepest connection ever!!!! ALWAYS GRATEFUL M.G. TRANSFORMATIONAL and continuing……………………………………..

  • Erica July 30, 2013, 11:54 am

    Whoa…this message hit a cord within me today. Thank you for sharing. I feel so heavy right now because this is a message that really makes one stop and think about where she is within the story of her own life. So much to ponder…

    • mama gena July 30, 2013, 1:55 pm

      this is so good, erica. taking a moment to check in with yourself is the first step of awakening.

  • Simin Vaswani July 30, 2013, 11:37 am

    This just totally moved me and hit me right to the core of my heart. I can so relate to keeping myself small, not stepping into my power, not knowing consciously or wanting to know what my greatness is even when I do know it is there somewhere.
    This is empowering!

    Simin

    • mama gena July 30, 2013, 1:54 pm

      you deserve to be empowered- you deserve to know your greatness, simin!

  • Ruby Red July 30, 2013, 11:17 am

    Thank you, women, for putting yourselves out there for us!

    • SG Sade July 30, 2013, 5:48 pm

      It was a pure pleasure. Thank you for taking the time to listen and take our stories in.

    • Elan July 30, 2013, 11:05 pm

      Thank you for making it safe to do so!

  • Cathy AJ Hardy July 30, 2013, 11:08 am

    Loved this conversation….thank you. I’m a 46 year old woman who has gone through huge transition these past two years – and is rising beyond the ashes. I’m realizing how many other women are around me that need community and support. This conversation inspires me to help create spaces for women in my own city to offer encouragement….leading into gratitude, pleasure, community and care & support…and ultimately…transformation. Thanks for your work!

    • mama gena July 30, 2013, 1:52 pm

      so glad to hear you rising beyond your ashes!! here’s to community- and you!