Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts
Subscribe to Letters from Mama Gena
Get free tips on life, love and sisterhood from Regena Thomashauer

Man freak-out => Activism

Darling,

Yes, it’s true.
I was having a ‘man’ freak-out.
It was a small thing. But not small to me. I had the great foolishness to develop a massive crush on a guy from a dating site, who I had never met, but who sent me a poem. Two poems, actually. (Do I emanate ‘send me a poem and win a free ticket to my heart???’)
And then, the dude vanishes. Up and vanishes.
Thus, the freak-out.
But.
I am not a woman alone.
I am a woman surrounded by Sisterhood.
Sister Goddess Activism is my way of life.

A gang of my sisters got on the phone with me, talked me gently off my wall, and they gave me a few of my own exercises to do, to regain sanity, such that I was able to e-mail said poet without a drop of anger in my heart. A few hours later, said poet sent me a third poem.
And we are going on our first date tomorrow.
I am more excited about meeting him, than I have been about any guy, in a long time.

Dating is not something to do all alone.
Neither is raising kids.
Or navigating a career.
Or creating a marriage.
Or dealing with an illness. Or a death.

Having a woman, or better still, women, stand for you, while you run, heart wide open, in the direction of your dreams and desires, is nothing short of a miraculous luxury that it is my conviction all women require.

Alone, I am stuck where I get stuck.
Alone, my despair derails me.

But, surrounded by Sister Goddess Activism, I am not limited by my own limitations. I can be more patient than is my nature, more loving than I have ever risked before, and claim more than I could have imagined for myself.

If I had not had a gang of Sisters to reach for, when the poet seemingly brushed me off, I would have kicked him to the curb. And never received the third poem. Or been invited on a date. And who knows? Maybe he will be a man that I will fall in love with — maybe not — but without my Sisters knowing my deep desire to love and be loved, and standing for me when I stumbled, I would have never ever have given him the chance to ask me out.

And this is not just me, it is every Sister Goddess. Sister Goddess Pamela’s mother is dying, and a whole gang of women got on the phone with a prayer vigil for her just today. I saw, on Facebook, that Sister Goddess Mirna, who lives in Singapore, has welcomed Sister Goddess Cheryl for a visit. Sister Goddess Bernadette is teaching a new dance class, packed with her Sisters. I witness Sister Goddesses standing for each other as they conjure new businesses, new jobs, new relationships.

Sister Goddess Activism, here there, and everywhere.

Most women in this world have been taught the opposite.
What have we been taught?

That women in this world will disadvantage you. They will steal your man. Take the promotion that should be yours. Stab you in the back.
Women have not been taught how to stand for themselves, or one another. It’s actually the other way around. We have not been taught to stand for ourselves. Our voices. Our dreams. Our desires. We are taught to stifle our dreams, and keep a lid on our truth and never ever reveal our opinions, especially if they are likely to be controversial.
Our culture teaches us to distrust ourselves, to distrust our own bodies, to distrust our desires.

With an environment like that, how is a woman ever going to learn to trust another woman?
And that is where the School of Womanly Arts comes into play, to recreate the way women have been taught to relate.
At the SWA, not only do women learn how to stand for themselves, they learn that the best way to make sure their dreams come true is to place their pleasure-filled attention on another woman, and cheer her along. Why? She learns the spectacular truth, that the higher that one woman flies, the higher we all can ascend. (Click to tweet!)

The healthy empowered future of women depends on women learning the truth about Sister Goddess Activism.

Can you imagine what will happen when we live in a world where we are not bound and limited by our own limitations? But, through Sister Goddess Activism, we can reach for heights heretofore unknown? Where a woman can claim her monetary value at her workplace with ease and grace, or stand for and reclaim necessary time with her children and family (rather than enslaving herself to her job), or open herself to the gift of loving and being loved, in a way she cannot even imagine, right now?

And I want that not just for my Sister Goddesses, but for every woman on this planet. And to that end, we have created something that we have never done before: a weekend dedicated to and driven by Sister Goddess Activism.

For the first time ever in the history of The School of Womanly Arts, we are delivering a 2-day event called The Womanly Arts Experience. For free. That’s right. There is no cost.

This is my activism, my gift to women. I want to see what happens when we throw the doors of pleasure open to 700 women. I want to see the consequence, in the world, of a room filled with brand new women, learning how to prioritize their joy above all other values, how to stand for their beauty, power and brilliance, and how to turn on to life.

Unfortunately, you can’t enroll yet.
But we are taking an early registration list and I want you to be the first on it.

All the details are here: The Womanly Arts Experience, NYC. February 1st and 2nd.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. How are you inspired to practice Activism, Sister Goddess style? How will you up your game with and for your Sisters in 2014?

In so much love and pleasure,

mama-gena-sig-180px

 

 

 

Want more of Mama in your inbox?
Subscribe to our newsletter to get free updates.
20 Comments / Leave a Comment

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Dianna December 28, 2013, 11:02 am

    Regina…Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your experience with said laureate. I am so thrilled you will have a chance to meet and enjoy nurturing the electric chemistry you already share!
    As other sister goddesses have shared here, I too had a man who pulled a “ghosting” on me. (Apparently this occurance is so common with women that there was actually a name created for it). This was someone who reached out to me via Linkedin initially for professional networking purposes but it all quickly became an amazing, delicious connection. At 46, I never knew a man could sweep me off my feet to that degree…so unbelievably romantic- and who demonstrated, from what truly seemed genuine and sincere, a burning desire to be that close to a womans heart. He lived in CT, but after 5 weeks, he wanted to come to meet me for dinner. The day came…..crickets…..nothing. I waited for his promised text to let me know he was nearby the restaurant. I texted him to make sure he was okay because hours went by and still nothing. Never heard from him again. Not long after, scrolling through my facebook notifications, I see, “__ is in a relationship with ___”. I really don’t consider myself to be naive..if anything I would describe myself typically as jaded when it comes to men and relationships, but this whole episode hit me like mack truck.
    This was the end of July and Im still suffering inside terribly, although Im careful not to let it show to those around me. I plan on attending the Feb 1-2 event..cant wait to be amongst fellow sister goddesses. Im sure it will be an amazing time of healing, fun and inspiration for all of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do to remind us as women of the amazing creatures we truly are, and what we are truly capable of when we support and love one another in “sister goddess-hood”.

  • ayodele December 18, 2013, 5:42 pm

    Thank you for the generous gift to our girlfriends. Yes, I agree nothing should be done alone. Thanks to you – I began my dating life by taking a SG along as I learned the ropes of dating. Some men found it charming that I was bringing my sister ( a SG) and the ones that found it charming responded. I can now say, after 20 years of not dating – thanks to you and my sisters I have met a man who adores me and gave me an early xmas gift – a diamond necklace (Diamonds by the yard). Without you and the sisterhood this would not be. Thank you for being your amazing self and giving so much to all of us. Yes, together we can make the impossible happen. I know for me finding a man, dating was impossible – now I am calling myself the Queen of Man-Training. love you ayo

  • SG Cashmere Pussy December 18, 2013, 1:13 pm

    i am SOOOOO grateful to all of the sisters i have met who have got my back! i came into SWA in total mistrust of women, and 9 months later, these sisters are the first people i come to with brags, swamps, or anything that needs attention. beyond grateful for the tools and sisterhood. <3

  • Michelle W December 18, 2013, 10:00 am

    Oh how I need my sisters today. I recently had my husband’s lover call and tell me all the sordid details, proof of my uneasiness and gut feeling that something has been wrong for some time. I am totally broken, our 15 year marriage ruined, I think beyond repair. I have been raging, swamping, in a deep dark place. I am not sure what to do. Of course he has turned it around and has been sorry, and such, but I have no forgiveness in my heart. He wants to lie to the children about why he is not going on vacation with us, I see this as continued delusion and dissociation from the reality of the situation. All I have ever wanted was a connected and happy family, he has refused therapy for this before and now wants to go and give me what I have always wanted, though now I hardly see the possibility. I wish I could see my way through this.

  • veronica December 18, 2013, 8:25 am

    omg! i just realized i thanked you in my heart but not to you!
    beautiful! you inspire me that right now : to dive into my desires
    and this song just does it to me right now : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpxQfsrzD94#t=93

    it’s funny i was thinking two days ago “these people who bring me so much by their talent, work , kindness, juiciness, who take my head out of the sand when i feel so down i can barely feel myself anymore and who inspire me to say “fuck” to those who look down on me and yes to those who bring diamonds to my eyes well i decided i was gonna give back, i thought of sending all my love and gratefulness in a christmas card to say how much i am grateful so i chose bought and wrote the card
    and the following day! your message with such a gift! delight pure delight!

    another “funny” thing i was listening to you yesterday for about one hour and a half, had to take a break because so much power in your message i had to stop for an hour! well then i listened to how you advise to dwell in the desires completely, feel it, be in it, investigate it which i did in my head for an hour and it felt so good! and the result! i had a huge nightmare that my desire was running far away from me, i got up crying! my heart heavy with sorrow, and then i got it!!!!!!!! : i now know it’s time to dive even deeper into it! not let the crankiness get to me!
    one of my desires for 2014 is to hug you so much Mama Gena, women like you, i mean really women like you! so much love in one woman how can it be…..

  • Michelle Bercon December 18, 2013, 6:17 am

    Dear Regena and you other wonderful SG’s
    Thank you for sharing your honest and valuable life lessons. I am looinkg for a handful of courageous women in the NY area, who want to participate in a team who are up for finding their personal style and know more about fashion. I will share our insights on my blog Bercon Blog. I have already succesfully created a group in Copenhagen,, Europe. As I am researching on a book about living your full potential and how to live dreams – I call the group of women Dream Team. Hope some of you would care to join and maybe I can get an interview with you Mama Gena or some other great life coaches who can guide me and the NYC Dream Team together. Thank you for being so awesome!! Much love and happy Christmas wishes from SG Michelle in Denmark

  • Melody December 17, 2013, 8:12 pm

    What a glorious experience for the women of New York! I am dappled green with envy … No not really, but for the moment NYK is still half a world away from Australia.
    I wish every woman who attends the most fabulous, pleasure filled ride of her life and may she be brilliantly unleashed on our world.

    Thank you Mama Gena for your great big heart in offering such an opportunity!

    Bless-sings to all

  • Ravishing, Rapturous, Remarkable Rita December 17, 2013, 5:54 pm

    Thank you Regina for your transparency. It moves me to know you freak out too! Your poet man is the luckiest guy on earth to have a date with you.
    I marvel at the tools -when I remember to take them out. Use them or lose them lol. I had a rupturous evil wicked weekend (and not in a good way) all because of my Sisters at work, and not using the tools sooner. We are pointing fingers and snipping at each other. It took one Sister breaking down in tears today to move us towards each other.
    I will invite all three of my work Sisters to the February weekend. I can’t wait for you to get your hands on them!!! SO much appreciation and gratitude for what you do.

  • June December 17, 2013, 4:23 pm

    My high school boyfriend and I have always had a strong connection. He signed with the Navy, and was gone for some time. His first leave home found us back in each others arms. My life went into another direction. He came home and married a friend of my sisters. His wife became seriously ill. We talked at length through the years, and our goal was to get married when his wife passed. Time has passed. I am now divorced and have been since 2001. We are both free. I called him when I heard of his wife’s passing. Our conversation was long and I believed via conversation that we would get together. I waited hoping for a call, which did not come.

    Only to find out (through fb) that he married.

    I am so hurt. I have never loved another as deeply as I love him.
    I feel he has been deceiving me all these years.

    He does contact me on fb, and when someone in my family passes he always shows up. The magnetism between us is still strong, are is it my wanting it to be?

  • Alay'nya December 17, 2013, 3:40 pm

    How absolutely delightful!

  • Stephanie Marrone December 17, 2013, 2:59 pm

    YES!!! I am so there that weekend mama!! AND……I have a strong overwhelming desire to take mastery again in 2014. Please save me a seat. Here is to Sister Goddess Activism!

    xoxo
    SG Red Hot Stephie

  • janine December 17, 2013, 12:29 pm

    mmmhmmm…

    i needed to see this today, mama g. i did that recently. i allowed myself to freak out over a non-response from a male that i desired. yep. lol.

    it took me a while to untangle those feelings of rejection that i felt. however, i’m sure if i had a few sister goddesses nearby, it wouldn’t have taken as long. either way, i’m glad that this space exists and that i can learn how to remember who i am regardless of what others do.

    thank you.

  • Jennifer ( SG FAB) December 17, 2013, 12:04 pm

    Regena, I so love this blog post! I love your rawness, and the beauty of that rawness. I’m am so grateful for the gift of the SWA and sisterhood. Quite literally, you, the school, and all my sisters have changed my world!

    Since yesterday, I have talked 2 non SG’s off the holiday cliff of doom. Both women are truly amazing. Using our tools, I got both women to see their greatness at the end of our calls! We need to expand our message far and wide!

    I’m so excited that you’re going out with your poet :-). May your date be filled with lyrical luscious conversation, long gazing glances, and flirty fun!

    With love and gratitude,

    Jennifer

    • mama gena December 17, 2013, 6:15 pm

      thanks, jennifer! the holiday cliff of doom is one scary place!!

  • Stacy December 17, 2013, 11:34 am

    I would love to have a group of women friends but I have just never been able to make that connection somehow. I feel like the odd person out wherever I go. Right now, I’m going through a HORRIBLE divorce, underemployed and having trouble with my children and extended family and I’d love to have people to talk to but I just can’t meet up with anyone who seems to want to be friends. I feel so disconnected – even on Facebook! No one ever comments on my posts. Yes, I’m wallowing in self-pity right now. No way I could afford to go to NY to this event – I’m down South and have no clue how to meet other like-minded women. Oh well…

    But I do agree that having some friends to stand by your side is a good thing. Hope you enjoy the date!

    • Stacy December 17, 2013, 11:41 am

      Also, I had (almost) the same thing happen…I met someone online that I felt an instant and mystical connection with. We went on a couple of dates and he disappeared. I have “kicked him to the curb” – even if he contacted me again I wouldn’t answer. I don’t understand people who do that…just suddenly disappear without even the guts enough to tell you why. I’ll never be like that.

      • Melanie December 17, 2013, 4:22 pm

        Hi Stacy,

        I wish we lived near each other because you sound like a kick. I agree with you, I don’t understand when people disappear without telling you why. I have a good friend who did that to me a few years ago and I have never heard from he what the reason was. She just dropped off the face. Keep looking for friends in your area – I know they are around!
        Melanie

    • mama gena December 17, 2013, 6:14 pm

      never say never stacy- the event is free- all you need to do is get your cute butt to the beg bad city!!!
      ps. the date was awesome!!

  • SG Jill is MAGIC December 17, 2013, 10:32 am

    ok first of all…YOU ROCK REGENA. This is such a beautiful offering. and thank you for this man freak-out post – boy do i know that one -i completely agree…dating should not be done without sisterhood!!! Wishing you all the best as you navigate your date with the poet (oh do please tell us how you stayed in your pleasure and beguiled the poor man)

    as for my activism, I try to take women higher everywhere I go by just loving and accepting my self and my body…meaning i don’t participate in negative self talk and I very freely compliment women as i go about my day…it is my nature to fluff i suppose 🙂
    I also take photographs of goddesses, creating safe space and fanning the flames of their self adoration. I share these photos and women’s stories on my blog so other women can see and go higher. I am working towards a book and exhibit. I desire all faces of the goddess to be seen for the Beauty and Glory that we all are and celebrated as such.

    I am beyond grateful to be a SWA student – I am not sure what 2014 holds but because of YOU Regena, and our sisterhood, I know I will go higher and further than I ever imagined…I already have!!! Mwah!!!

    • mama gena December 17, 2013, 6:13 pm

      thanks so much, sg jill- for your fun response and your rockin’ activism!