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My Weekend with Marilyn

It happened.  Finally.  I had gotten through the winter with no cold, no flu, just sparkling health.  Then, what was it?  Too much skinny-dipping in Miami by the light of the Super Moon??  I’ll never know.  But I came home with a huge honkin’ cold.  Which allowed me to do something I never ever do.  Lie down flat on my couch for two days, watching movies.  Which led to something I have resisted for even longer than I resisted this cold, but decided, finally, to surrender to…my weekend with Marilyn.

After Oprah’s Lifeclass and a Tom Cruise movie, it was time for My Week with Marilyn.  I thought Michelle Williams did a great job with a really difficult role.  How is a 21st-century actress ever going to be able to fill the shoes of an icon?  And Marilyn is not just any icon.  She is, right now, on the cover—the cover, people—of this month’s Vanity Fair.  Not to mention in the pages of this month’s Bazaar, the subject of a costume and photo exhibit at the Getty Museum in London, and a soon-to-open retrospective at the Hollywood Museum.

I usually dismiss Marilyn Monroe.  I grow impatient with our culture’s morbid fascination with Elvis, the Kennedys and Marilyn.  I am a here-and-now kind of girl.  But I decided to move past my resistance, and really study the subject.
So, I watched Some Like it Hot, followed by Let’s Make Love.
And I caught on.
What I saw was an embodiment of an element of woman which I had never ever seen portrayed so precisely before.  And I wanted to share it with you, because this element is something that lives inside me, lives inside you, lives inside every single woman, but gets very little play in the 21st century.
It is something I call “appetite.”
We all know what appetite is.
But can you actually see it?
I mean, when you are hungry, do you radiate or telegraph that to the world?
Can someone tell?
Is it visible?
Yes.  Not visible like a billboard, but visceral—like a psychic telegraph.
You look, and you just know.
Not only do you know, but something inside you wants to serve the appetite.
It is not only visible, but it can beautiful, compelling, and, yes, eternal.
Appetite communicates nonverbally.
The latin root? ad ‘to’ + petere ‘seek’.
It sends a hormonal hook out into the world, attracting a response.
A baby is a bundle of appetite.  And we are all hormonally hooked on figuring out exactly what a baby desires.  Why?  Because it feels so good to make the little bundle smile.
And right now, we live in a world that trains women to ignore their appetite, and concentrate, instead on their production.  We learn to get jobs, support ourselves, work for a living, take care of things, multi-task.
But who teaches us to dwell, dawdle, and wander around the house of appetite?  Do we get any encouragement to savor our longings?  To lean into our yearning?  To just enjoy experiencing our desires?  Not really.  Not at all.
We have been taught that our value as women is our ability to produce.
Not long.
We have been taught to work when we are at work, and then work some more.
And actually?
You, me, all women, were not constructed to be workhorses.
We were built to desire.
In fact, the world requires it.
And actually?
Appetite is even way more important than production.
Without appetite, there is nothing to produce for.
Just like without hunger, there is no real need to eat.

Women do not come close to fulfilling the privilege of being a woman when we cast ourselves, exclusively, in the role of producer, or workhorse.  We are missing a necessary and vitally important part of the experience of who and what we are, when we ignore and dismiss our longings.

And what Marilyn does better than anyone I have ever seen on film (besides radiate sensuality) is live, breathe and demonstrate appetite.
You can feel her longing.
Feel her desire.
Feel the irresistible force of her gorgeous ravishing and yes, eternal, hunger.
She is wonderfully shameless, charmingly without guile, and as ingenuous as a child, as she slinks, dances, sings, flirts and intoxicates through her abject enjoyment of her irresistibly delicious desire.
And now can you see how powerful a woman’s appetite is?  It can even live on, long after we die.

So, today, in honor of Marilyn, in honor of the desires that you were born with, in honor of the woman you are destined to become, live inside your longing.

Enjoy the desires you possess.  Enjoy thinking about them, feeling them, experiencing them.  Enjoy your appetite with full-on delight and pleasure, as if the simple act of desiring something was that powerful.  Because, actually, my darlings…it is.

In the comments below, post your own tips about how you celebrate and honor your own appetite, your own desire.  And if you’re feeling inspired, tell me which part of this blog post resonated with you the most, and pass it along to your girlfriends!

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. Save the date!! The world’s grandest celebration of female appetite, a.k.a. the graduation ceremony for the School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program, is June 24th, LIVE in NYC. This event is open to ALL women, age 18+. Price of admission: a willingness savor the gift of being a woman—outrageously. Details to follow in the coming weeks…

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47 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Nelda June 22, 2012, 5:22 pm

    WOW!! I know I’m a bit behind on this one, so enjoyed learning about appetite, desire, and the feeding of it all!! Thank you MG for hitting on so many topics with your telling of a weekend! To all the SG’s out there…Cheers!!

  • Neerja June 6, 2012, 1:53 pm

    “Enjoy the desires you possess. Enjoy thinking about them, feeling them, experiencing them. Enjoy your appetite with full-on delight and pleasure, as if the simple act of desiring something was that powerful. Because, actually, my darlings…it is.”

    This resonated with me the most because at times, I start to feel silly or guilty for having the desires I have, and have had my whole life. I am closer to fulfillment of those desires, but often forget to ENJOY my desires instead of being sad that they are not yet fulfilled.
    As an actress, I love Marilyn, for I see her ability to inhabit her roles and I think she was a very underrated actor. I also see that she allowed her appetite to show. I like the relatiohship you make between desire and appetite. I resonate with that too.

    Great blog!

  • SG Carissa May 29, 2012, 1:42 am

    Thank you for pointing out Marilyn’s amazing appetite. I always loved her and now I have more information about why. “Some Like it Hot” is one of my all-time favorite movies. The way she seduces the nerdy awkward rich man… Genius!!!

    I was just talking with a friend tonight about my obsession with food. I love to think about food, research recipes, ready food blogs, look at gorgeous pictures of food aka “food porn”, cook for myself and others, and try new restaurants. It is a very obvious representation of my appetite. (She mentioned how refreshing it was to talk to a woman who had a healthy obsession with food as opposed to an eating disorder-type obsession.) I have a huge appetite: for good food, hot sex, quality time with friends, peak experiences, sensuality, learning, personal growth, gorgeous clothes, interesting people, etc etc. Sometimes it makes me crazy, wanting it all. But this post reminds me how wonderful and precious and necessary it is to wallow in your appetite. I can’t wait to show this to all my corporate coaching clients who are all working themselves dry.

  • BSG Glitzy Cougar Karen May 24, 2012, 10:52 pm

    I saw this email when I was at the “Fearless Women Global” conference in LA this week, and couldn’t open it and didn’t want to on a Blackberry. I had a feeling it was juicy! And on the flight back today, I picked up the Vanity Fair of Marilyn. And I’ve seen quite a bit of the Marilyn story this year.
    What’s got me fired, even on the plane today, is the hunger I have…the appetite. So much so that I had to spring clean about it today. I hunger like a fierce animal…for hot, passionate sex, for a hot, sexy, fun media career getting this all out to women via entertainment…but especially…hot sex. I want to understand what it is to live in my erotic creature, to be multi-orgasmic, to BE Dangerous Beauty, and to be so in tune with that that men are drawn to it and I get to drink from whatever well I desire. And the longing is to leap beyond the baby steps to consume the whole meal! GRRRRRRR!!!!! (and that’s not cute, that’s real).

  • Regina, Queen of the Desert May 23, 2012, 8:54 pm

    Yesterday, I spent the long, hot Sonoran Desert afternoon rambling adorably through the hot dirt and cacti with my tiny, mighty voice recorder in one hand, shamelessly speaking and recording my ravenous desires so that I could play them back to myself and get all turned by the longing in my own voice.
    Pussy-timing is wild; I just read the Weekend With Marilyn blog now!
    A sample: I WANT a maddenlingly beautiful old dirt-adventure offroad motorcycle.
    I WANT to tell a sweet mechanic friend if mine that he’s Oh-So-Divine and that we’d make beautiful tracks together.
    I WANT to operate from my spotless, multiorgasmic, Pussy Intuition. In all things!
    I WANT to eat fresh and juicy ripe organic strawberries tonight. With devil’s food cake.
    I WANT to swivel, switch and sway my walk!
    I WANT to roll in the piles of money that I am making from offering my original, totally sexy motorcycle writing to the world!
    I WANT to parade my voraciousness in front of the entire Universe!
    I WANT to rest my tired, hot motorcycle vixen’s body tonight!
    The part of your blog, Mama, that got me most?
    ‘It sends a hormonal hook out into the world, attracting a response.’
    I needed this today, Mama! I was considering some silly Money-Slavery behavior.
    Ooh lala love you, Ladies!
    Love, Regina Grande, Brazen Bodacious Motovixen

  • Suzi Banks Baum May 23, 2012, 5:58 pm

    Appetite communicates nonverbally.
    The latin root? ad ‘to’ + petere ‘seek’.

    I love this post. I love my appetite, which, thanks to my experience in Mastery and Inner Circle, I have become deeply familiar with- I am one HUNGRY woman…and there are times when my appetite cools and it is time to slow down and consume less. I live in my appetite and my health and well being resound with this connection. I love this writing MG. This is one of the most important and ground shaking, earth rocking aspects of what I have learned in Mastery and continue to learn every day.
    Here is what else I love about appetite…this way of being in the world…listening to your appetite, is something I can teach my kids. Not ‘do you want oatmeal’ but ‘what is calling you right now’…maybe sometimes it is oatmeal…but to let my kids in on what they have known all along, but, like the rest of us, are being silenced around, is that deep knowing and yearning.
    I could go on about appetite. You have taught me so much and I am living the beauty of being conversant with my appetite. And I have much to learn. I know this because I am realizing I have a much bigger appetite than I ever dreamt.
    Celebrating yearning is so different than whining and bitching.
    I am forever grateful for you leading the way with this.
    And, while I am sorry you had to get sick to learn this, you and I both know there is gold in the hills of illness that cannot be accessed but by a weekend in your bed with Marilyn or, in my bed- the love boat.
    Ahoy Mama,
    Love, S

  • SG Prada Madonna (Ellen S) May 22, 2012, 10:07 pm

    Darling –
    Check out Smash and the new voice of Marilyn – She ROCKS!

    Kisses,
    Prada

  • SG Mercedes May 22, 2012, 9:55 pm

    Wow Kat those were my favorites also!
    Thank you so much dear Mama Gena for bringing up…. Marylin Monroe!
    So beautiful to read all this about what Marylin inspired in us …. as women. I really loved her as a young girl and often role played that I was Marilyn ( in my own way) I want to say that I love the notion of appetite! Appetite… for life! When I was a child if you did not have an appetite …. that was the worse thing they could say about you and immediately gave you all kinds of potions to “abrir el apetito” (“open the appetite “).
    I always felt so proud to be told that I had a good appetite! which made eating with enjoyment possible. I have an appetite right now for uncovering my desires…. and for feeling the spark and juice of life in all of my cells !….. and Marylin… was irreplaceable because although Michelle Williams was great in the role … she did not ” wet my appetite” she was miles from my experience of MM. I always wished that Marylin could have seen herself as beautiful, magical, ravishing, and enchanting …. so full of…. yes appetite ….and sweet surrender to desire….as I saw her! A goddess of desire!

  • Kat May 22, 2012, 5:55 pm

    I have always loved Marilyn Monroe. “Some Like It Hot”, “How To Marry A Millionaire”, “The Seven Year Itch” and “Niagara”-all the handbook on desire and vulnerability. She would look at a man and take a breath with a little silent gasp. There was sexy! Her shoulders would move and her chest would heave ever so slightly. It’s worth watching fellow Goddesses!

  • Deborah Smith May 22, 2012, 4:34 pm

    Dear Mama Gena and all you Sacred Goddesses,
    Thank you so much for all of the sharing. There is so much wisdom here. My birthday sits on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini: tomorrow is the day! and so (as you might guess) the yearnings and longings are often, many and intense. I feel so supported to hear that it is OK to simply desire. I do a lot of “producing”, but it is never enough–never will be: that’s the trap. I am so grateful for the reminder of what is truly real and important.
    Now to see about a bootilicious outfit for tango tonight!!!
    <3

  • Kelly May 22, 2012, 4:30 pm

    I read this in a Shape magazine article in 1996 and it changed the course of my life….”And then there’s appetite: The thing women are not supposed to have (except in music videos, and then it’s so clearly on display for the benefit of the viewer that I don’t get any idea what Madonna or Christina Aguilera really wants for herself). You can fake blonde. You can fake tan. You can even fake sexy – for a while. What you can’t fake is the real and unmistakable scent and feel of someone who actually likes…..sex. You can’t fake that Bessie Smith growl, that easy warmth of someone who wants a little sugar in her bowl and who is prepared, under the right circumstances, to have and to give a very good time. Who would you rather have dinner with: the flour-fearing vegan or the happy omnivore who looks on dessert as a special occasion, not a torment? So it is with sex. Shame, guilt, and aversion are not attractive to most people. Confidence and an adult appreciation of pleasure – and of the amazing human machine, which despite imperfections and wear and tear, can do such a glorious job of delivering it – is appealing. People who know that and show that they do are simply irresistible.” ~ Amy Bloom

    • mama gena May 22, 2012, 4:52 pm

      great quote! thanks for posting!

  • Laurie May 22, 2012, 3:48 pm

    By the way….are any of you reading Fifty Shades of Gray?

    • mama gena May 22, 2012, 4:51 pm

      yes! i loved it! you?

    • SG Angela May 31, 2012, 10:19 pm

      Yes, loved it!

  • SG Alia May 22, 2012, 2:39 pm

    Ooh la la! Just got this in my inbox! How’s that for GPS saying something? Replace dream with desire!

    “The very best moment in any long journey that makes your dreams come true, Alia, comes not on the day you realize they have, but on the day you realize how little they matter compared to loving the adventure they’ve inspired.”

    Don’t ask me why, I just know what I know –
    The Universe

  • SG Alia May 22, 2012, 2:36 pm

    Oh yeah! Love finding the delicious good in someone and then EMULATING it!
    I have had so much trouble with my expansive appetite. Always lightlys slapping my hand for being GREEDY and LUSTY!
    Thanks for REMINDING us HOW HOT IT IS to DESIRE! And that the ACT of enjoying the desire is even MORE powerful than the outcome!

  • mila May 22, 2012, 2:01 pm

    Dear Mama Gena,
    You are so totally “put your finger on it” so to speak. I saw the movie, and I thought that Michelle Williams even though very beautiful and glamorous didn’t have “something” that Marilyn had. I couldn’t define it, and I am a big movie person and have seen everything that Marilyn ever made. Michelle Williams didn’t radiate sensuality, appetite or desire that Marilyn did. Perhaps it is something you can’t learn in acting school. I blamed very poor chemistry between her and Kenneth Brannaugh on the fact that movie was promising but turned out very mediocre. It is not easy to find your appetite, support it, “feed it” if you will. Thank you so much for pointing out. Unfortunetly, I don’t have any bright ideas on “how to”, but at least I am aware of it now, aware of what I must do and it is a first step in the right direction, I think.
    Thank you!

    SG Mila

  • Anne Marie May 22, 2012, 1:09 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this, mama! I, too, have not paid too much attention to Marilyn. Until now! There is a good TV show on, called Smash. In it, they are making a Broadway musical about Marilyn. There are two actresses who are vying for the role of Marilyn in this musical. one is blonde and voluptuous and sexy and flirty and the other is a little thinner, brunette, taller, and not as obviously sexy as the other. Even though the writers and producers of this musical favor the blonde, the director favors the Brunette, and I have been pondering all season, why. I think your post has given me the answer! The second actress, even though she is not blonde, voluptuous, obviously sexy, does portray the innocence, the longing, the appetite, much better than the first actress. I am going to bring this new definition of appetite and longing into my journaling and daily practices all week and hopefully forever! Thank U so much for sharing these insights. I am also going to rent the weekend with Marilyn movie, because I believe her archetypal qualities mesh with mine somewhat, even though I never ever thought of this before.

    • mama gena May 22, 2012, 1:39 pm

      i will check out the show- thanks anne marie!

  • SG Janie May 22, 2012, 12:21 pm

    Hi Mama Gena,

    Loved reading your take on Marilyn. I’ve never seen any of her movies, and I think now is the time to do that. I love the idea of appetite. That is what I have been getting back in Mastery this spring – my appetite for fun, for love, for sensual and sexual experiences, for life. I’m not really feeling longing strongly at this moment. I’m guessing that I am afraid to on some level, but I am experiencing great pleasure. I am feeling the power of being able to create my own beauty and pleasure. I am taking time to adorn and pleasure my body. Right now I am sitting at the computer in a very low V neck red top, hot jeans, nice necklace and earrings, and some cute slip on red sandals with a bit of a heel (sexy) that I got at a consignment shop after the swap. The swap was really transformative for me. I discovered that I have believed all my life that I didn’t care very much about clothes and didn’t like to shop, but the truth was that I didn’t like my body. That’s not the case now. I’m enjoying and celebrating my body. It’s a great time to introduce myself to Marilyn Monroe. Thanks for sharing your experience of her!

  • Mali May 22, 2012, 11:52 am

    Thanks Mama for that all inclusive reminder of appetite. You know Marilyn was a Gemini like you and Ayo. Not to offend. You always have reminded me of her. I loved her intelligence, smarts, sensuality, wisdom, understanding of her Woman. I did not see the film. I am at that place in my life right now. Where nothing really satisfies this endless hunger, desire, “appetite” for so much more life. Food as delightful and sends immedaite pictures to my brain of desire, immediately. What you say about Marilyn and appetite really says it all so beautifully. I’ve been feeling guilty about all that I want so much of now. Right here, right now, this moment, as you say. I love this weather rainy, summer flirting with promises that “could” come, if I show up. My appetite is yearning, salivating, craving more… Wow I am really psyched about what you’ve said here. You’ve given me definitely a new dimension of the word “appetitite!”

  • irena kowalsky May 22, 2012, 10:28 am

    Thank you Mama for your transparency. When I read your blog I surrendered and released any judgment I had about that part of me that wants to be like her and see it thru the eyes of desire. I have always been drawn to Marilyn. She was a Goddess, misused and misunderstood. Unique, vulnerable and Real. The good die young. That aspect of her is disarming.
    I am grateful for your sharing.

    xxoo

  • Andrea May 22, 2012, 10:05 am

    I am currently reading “The Dawn of Sex”, a book about the evolution of human sexuality. It lays it out in spades that women are built for desire and that at the dawn of our species, men enjoyed meeting that desire. It is basically making the case that we are truly Bonobos and not gibbons (monogamous) or Gorillas (polygamous). We are polyandrous (one woman, lots of men) at the dawn of our species.
    I have felt the siren (or Aphrodite) calling in me, streaming out of me, when I was a younger woman. The siren still calls but I am more creative about how to satisfy that call.

    • Laurie May 22, 2012, 3:46 pm

      Genius, resposible Hedonistic Revelry…
      Love it!
      Watch the movie “Dangerous Beauty”

  • Liliana May 22, 2012, 9:55 am

    Thank you, Mama! Just as the culture did and does, I only saw Marilyn as a very talented actress and the eternal beauty she remained after her mysterious death – she did not make it past her mid-thirties, unlike Brigitte Bardot, we do not have photos of an aged Marylin. I considered that she only remained an icon for all of the secrets she took with her and the unparalleled love she shared for an American president who, was a hero and had to die just as young. She became Hollywood’s ” sex symbol ” long before she passed and here she still is, as you say! I never thought that I can learn anything from her as I do not resemble in the least her kind of beauty – but now I know that I can try her gift of feeling and living my appetite. The challenge, as you so well described, is how to find my appetite, if all I have trained for is my incredible muscle to serve others and produce, and yes I live my appetite for serving and producing – hence the success! Thank goddess for this too!
    For me, steady small steps – are the easiest to take when I want to develop the atrophied muscle of appetite and stretch it into another domain, other than, production. First find out which direction I want to go – for instance, sensuality. Today I am going to keep my awareness on my desires for sensual experiences all over my day and savor my sensuality, whether I am in a meeting with a colleague in the morning, weather I collect brain waves in the afternoon or whether I go to rollerblading after work – find and savor my newly found appetite for transforming my day into a reckless of sensual experiences in addition to the usual achievement and production.

    • Liliana May 22, 2012, 9:58 am

      a spell check correction – I want to transform my day into a “necklace of sensual experiences” instead of a a ” reckless of…”

      • Laurie May 22, 2012, 3:44 pm

        Mmmmmmm, reckless, necklace…they both somehow work..

  • Oceana May 22, 2012, 9:38 am

    I have adored Marilyn ever since I watched her sing Happy Birthday to JFK on our black and white stereo/tv console in ’62. Her shadow is as large as her light, which I think is what repels or attracts people so powerfully. She brought innocence and her inner child into her sexuality and desire, and is even more alluring because of it.
    Many people have said to me over the years that when a woman isn’t even aware of her beauty, it makes her even more beautiful. While Marilyn was a genius at creating her marketable self, she was also somehow simultaneously completely unaware of her inner beauty…which I think is what had everyone falling in love with her.
    I’ve always wondered why there was no mention of Marilyn in Mastery, Mama…and figured it might be because she ended up devoured by her shadow victim self, and that wouldn’t be the empowering message to send. But I think there is so much depth of courtesan to Marilyn that far outweighs the negative stuff.
    I’m thrilled to see her highlighted here, and to read about your two day movie watching binge with her! Mixing you with Marilyn and Mastery seems so right!
    XOXOXOXO

  • SG Angela May 22, 2012, 9:30 am

    I so admire Marilyn and you, Mama! Yesterday and today, I celebrated and honored my desires by going for my 30 min walk, braless! It is sexy as hell! I love the response I get and I think it has given other women permission to do more of the same! Living life to its fullest! Thank you Mama for all of your assistance in this matter!!!

    Much love and gratitude,
    SC Angela

    • Jade May 22, 2012, 3:45 pm

      That’s awesome Angela! Apparently it’s good for your health too! I’ve read that the less time you spend wearing a bra, the more you reduce your risk of breast cancer. And it does feel so liberating! 😉

      • SG Angela May 31, 2012, 10:18 pm

        Jade, I hadn’t heard that one, but it’s great to know! Thanks for your post!

        Love & Gratitude!
        SG Angela

  • Barb May 22, 2012, 8:54 am

    There is a ‘me’ inside, that desires long, dangling, sexy earrings that when worn with the right look–either with a turtle neck or sensual dress– helps me exhibit my sensuality. Those earrings satisfies my ‘appetite’ in that division of jewelry! Even getting dressed in jeans and a white shirt, those long turquoise and silver earrings finishes that look on a feminine note! That feeling is totally satisfying for me because when looking into the mirror for that final check it reminds me that…I look and most importantly, FEEL …a woman!!

  • Wildcherry May 22, 2012, 8:13 am

    I’m ALWAYS hungry!
    Just when I think I’ve filled my ravenous desire for My version of More UP, I find myself knee-deep in the depths of despair because my appetite was satiated back then, aka ‘yesterday’ but today, I’m starving.
    I maintain this edge by walking into my fine line between gratitude and desire.
    If I want more, I stop, mutter mull then muster my current dissatisfied ‘Biotch niggling beneath my bonnet’.
    WHAT DO I WANT? It’s my favorite selfQ!
    Today, right now, um…can’t share what I want so publicly ;). Must pop off to satisfy my appetite for more than I had yesterday.

    • Liliana May 22, 2012, 9:28 am

      I like this, Wildcherry ! It seems simple, I know it is much more complex, and I will tray it! Thank you.

      • mama gena May 22, 2012, 1:29 pm

        can i just say how i love that you are all replying to the replies? delish…

  • Margaret May 22, 2012, 8:10 am

    “She is wonderfully shameless, charmingly without guile, and as ingenuous as a child, as she slinks, dances, sings, flirts and intoxicates through her abject enjoyment of her irresistibly delicious desire.”
    Oh, how I love Marilyn!! I always thought she is powerful beyone compare! We still celebrate her today, and her beautiful womanly figure! I’ll bet every one of us has a deep desire to feel so womanly and not just be a workhorse….yup, and I have that halter dress, and when I wear it, I feel soooo lovely!!

  • Mary, HawtMama May 22, 2012, 7:37 am

    I, too, have long dismissed Marilyn as being a victim, an addict, an exactly-what’s-wrong-with-women-these-days kind of icon. I often resist bandwagoning icon worship et al, and sometimes find that my ability to discern and judge means I lose out. In short, the appetite becomes bent on the finding wrong instead of celebrating the delicious!

    My inner Marilyn is eying a clingy halter that will look hot with some yoga capris and heels today…hmmmm…let me try this appetite thing on and see what fireworks I can set off!

    • Kara May 22, 2012, 7:59 am

      One of the most helpful lines I’ve ever read, really: “sometimes find that my ability to discern and judge means I lose out. In short, the appetite becomes bent on the finding wrong instead of celebrating the delicious!”

      Wow, Mary, I have never heard that so well articulated before. So helpful to hear you spell that out, as that is the exact trait that sometimes limits or warps my own experience of pleasure. I have so much to learn about harnessing the use of appetite for good rather than “evil” 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing that!

    • Mali May 22, 2012, 12:02 pm

      Thanks Mary its rainy and I love you saying “let me try this appetite thing on. Marilynesque I am scanning mind’s eye, my closet what will give me that pleeasure appetite. Maybe it won’t satisfy, the sheer pleasure just may…

    • Deborah Smith May 22, 2012, 4:18 pm

      Oh, SG HawtMama,
      I love your last line. would LOVE to see what fireworks you set off!

  • Elly May 22, 2012, 7:30 am

    Marilyn was a very intelligent woman, she had a great singing voice too. She lived her ‘ditsy’ role to the full because that is what everyone wanted. However, there was much more to her, I don’t think she ever met the right man who could satisfy her on every level as a woman, she was attracted to Arthur Miller because he was intelligent and longed for that kind of companionship. She was as vulnerable as a child because of the Hollywood system, one heel of her shoes was lower than the others so that she had the famous jiggle when she walked. She was forced to do retakes so many times on one film that she had a miscarriage, and she had longed for this child. She was a victim of the system yet we all still love her because she had a real woman’s body, not a plastic body, and she wasn’t afraid to show her vulnerability and understood it as one of greatest feminine tools. She deserves icon status for so many reasons. I adored her as a teenager and have read just about every book on her over the years, and I still adore her now that I am 53.

  • Helen May 22, 2012, 7:09 am

    Thanks for your Marilyn post Mama G.

    I really like your take on Marilyn, who although proclaimed an ‘icon’ on the one hand is dismissed as ditsy, and a host of other things, on the other. My old Classics lecturer, from Uni, said she went to see Euripides “Helen” and ‘the face that launched a thousand ships’ was played by an actress as Marilyn, which I guess says a lot about our desire too? I particularly:

    “And what Marilyn does better than anyone I have ever seen on film (besides radiate sensuality) is live, breathe and demonstrate appetite.”

    I’ve also thought quite a bit about Marilyn, because I used to love her as a child and even went to my 8th Birthday dressed as her – but then as I grew older I kinda resented her fragility (partly because I felt weak as a woman, I came to realise) and if you’ve ever read Joyce Carol Oates’ “Blonde” then… well… that’s really not a headspace you to find yourself in!

    Thanks Mama G,
    Hx

    • mama gena May 22, 2012, 1:26 pm

      the power continues today- one of my daughters best buds was marilyn for halloween when she was 9!

    • Laurie May 22, 2012, 3:36 pm

      I was Marilyn too, several times…Isn’t it interesting that the current shift on the Planet is so in honor of the power of vulnerability…..there is NOTHING weak about being a Woman! I bought into that space being the first woman in the Laborers Union..HELOOOOO! Apetite….such a sexy word. In the movie “The Mummy” the gorgeous babe gets stolen by the hideous flesh rotting Mummy. Her man is pacing and freaking and ringing his hands…..all of a sudden, she appears in his chambers, in this grecian Goddess gown, looking as Bootylicious as if she just came from a day spa makeover…..Her guy is shocked! He says something like “How did you ever escape?” She looks over her shoulder, never missing a beat and says….”I have my wiles” really, it gave me goose bumps! We are reclaiming our WILES, the planet calls for it………I’m in…
      Thanks Mama, I truly enjoyed the Marilyn movie and your take on it….
      Cheers to SisterHood! SG, Laurie