I have been playing creation games with my daughter, Maggie.
She’s in high school and I think it’s time that she understood the power she, and all women, have.
It’s time she apprehends the visceral power of desire.
I want her to learn that she has the power to attract whatever she wants.
But I also want her to know that the act of living into your desire is not just a game of mind control or thought control. It’s a get up off your ass game, as well.
So, we start with simple stuff.
It’s raining. We need a cab. We live on the Upper West side, along with thousands of other late-for-school families who also need a cab.
So, before we even hit the sidewalk, I have her imagining a taxi. We imagine this taxi slides right up to the front of our building, and we jump inside.
We feel this cab.
We put our mojo on it.
And then, we head out in the rain.
I have shown her a few times how it’s done.
Now, it’s up to her.
She has to take her place, amidst the dozen or so other cab hailers and draw one in.
This is the moment of truth.
It’s colder than usual and we are running late.
She is out there, pelted by rain, in fierce competition.
She knows, deep inside, that her mom is more experienced at this, and she wavers, wanting me to take over.
I refuse, wanting her to build her own confidence and have more real-time experiences of creating small miracles, so she has traction for the bigger ones.
She watches other people get what should have been her cab.
The eyes roll, the heart sinks.
“No time for that,” my fierce gaze says.
(This is the moment doubt can derail you. Expect it. Don’t fold.)
Her arm shoots up higher. Intention stronger.
No cab action whatsoever.
“We so got this,” I tell her.
No taxis anywhere.
We are wet. We are cold.
We so have no cab.
I begin to wonder if there is any juju in my mojo, if this is the one morning where there truly just are no taxis to be had. Really.
I especially want this to happen for her so she can start building her own inner confidence.
And I am feeling like my own inner Obi Wan is wavering.
I find myself wondering if we would make it to school on time had we ducked into the subway.
I hate myself instantly for that thought.
(Don’t leave the island of desire, just because there is no evidence of attainment.)
Then, I remember that it is fair to want the impossible.
Just as fair as wanting the possible.
And that fortune favors the bold.
And that especially when I forget, the GPS has a sense of humor.
And I look at wet, determined Maggie and beam love and pride and feel the fun of having the chance to start her off on the highway of desire at her young age.
And that I know she can do this.
Just then, a cab u-turns on West End avenue, dropping off its passenger at the building next door.
I think ‘we got this’ but someone from that building grabs it.
Maggie and I moan out loud at the same time.
“No way??!!! Can you believe it?!”
I think she is going to fold – that she won’t have the reserves to manage the disappointment.
But she is more determined and less prone to doubt that I had imagined she would be.
(The universe is generous. There is no shortage. There is more than enough for all of us.) I have taught her well.
Just then, we see a cab light from a block away.
She stands in the street, arm extended, as that sweet fat yellow taxi baby sails right up to us.
We climb in, high-fiving each other.
Lesson done for the day.
She can carve the taxi conjuring notch in her belt.
And I have opened her to experiencing a part of her innate power that she will never learn during her school day.
Want it. Stand for it. Brave the elements.
May the force of desire be with you….
In the comments below, tell me your best conjures, ever. I want to know what you are really good at attracting, and I also want to know where you are wavering. In this community, we stand for each other’s desires through witnessing, especially through a waver.