September 23, 2014

The Technology of Love

mama gena speaking

It Is all Just a love contest And I never Lose. Now you have another good reason To spend more time With Me. -Hafiz Many people ask me how I started, where I started, when I started,  and why I started The School of Womanly Arts. When something is truly a calling, it has many […]

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September 16, 2014

Why you should absolutely AVOID this …

mama gena speaking at boot camp

Okay, let’s be honest: there is no woman alive who does not resist pleasure. I very nearly did not make it to a birthday party I was invited to last weekend because I really, really thought I had to unpack. The boxes in my bedroom were talkin’ to me. I had to shut those bad […]

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September 9, 2014

I waited five decades for this.

Mama Gena riding Bellagio

What an extraordinary week! We had Ayodele Moore officiate our sacred office blessing, at the new uptown Palace in Harlem, yesterday, followed by an extraordinary Womanly Arts Unplugged Q and A Call with nearly 1,000 women registered! And today, I stand, closet spilling everywhere, trying to decide what this courtesan will wear to the opening […]

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September 2, 2014

I’m BACK and I’m on fire!


Darlings!! Hi! Hello! Ohmigoddess, I am so happy to be back here! I’ve missed you so much over the past eight weeks! Wow. My summer has been incredible. I have been riding, writing, swimming, and cooking (yes, you heard me, cooking!) dinners with friends. Meanwhile, I have been following along, the biggest fan ever, with […]

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August 26, 2014

Inviting Abundance

satya at work

Welcome to the final installment of our 8-week summer series, The Womanly Arts Unplugged, in honor of our upcoming course, Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp! This week, Satya, a Mastery Grad from New York City, joins us to teach about the Womanly Art of Inviting Abundance! Satya, Age 31 – Fashion Entrepreneur & Creative Director This […]

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Having Fun No Matter What

Welcome to the second installment of our 8-week summer series, The Womanly Arts Unplugged! This week, Maurya, a Mastery and Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp Grad from Boston, MA, joins us to teach about the Womanly Art of Having Fun No Matter What…

Maurya, Age 51 – Lawyer, Coach, Wife and Mama

Maurya HeadshotThe Art of Having Fun No Matter What is really my favorite art, because it’s about claiming my power and agency, and making the choice in any experience to find my pleasure and joy.

When I’m practicing this Art, I look at my life through the lens of a researcher, exploring ways to inject fun . . . even if, especially if, I’m dreading a particular obligation.

When I first learned about the Art of Having Fun No Matter What, I was like, “Yeah right. Are you kidding me?!” I didn’t think it was possible. Have fun no matter what? Come on. It seemed so frivolous, and unattainable.

Then, I moved into “research mode” — I still didn’t think it would bring enough change to be worth the effort, but I decided to experiment.

It was all about the baby steps. Flirt with a toddler, or a puppy. Go to Starbucks, get your favorite drink and compliment the barista on how they made it. It’s about treating yourself to that connection, and pleasure, in all the little moments that could otherwise just pass by.

That’s the way that I was willing to try this — choosing little risk-free opportunities to inject fun, and practice pleasure. And then notice, okay how do I feel? Lighter. Okay, interesting. And that’s what propelled me to take bigger risks, with bigger change potential.

What was your relationship with Fun like, before and after learning the Womanly Arts?

Before I learned the tools and arts, I did all the things I thought I was supposed to do. I was a good lawyer. I made good money. I was a good wife. I was a good mom. I volunteered. A lot.

I went to parties. They’d be . . . kinda fun. But because I didn’t feel fully confident about who I was and what I wanted, I was still concerned with what people thought of me, there was a certain level of self-consciousness. I would make nice conversation, it was lovely, blah blah blah, but it wouldn’t really feel juicy and connected.

See, I’m not the loudest crayon in the box. Before the SWA, I thought that having fun meant trying to be someone I’m not. I learned how to look like I was having fun — big smiles! But those experiences didn’t really light me up. I wondered, “Is that all there is?”

On a spectrum from A to Z, where A is bottom of the depths heartbreak and Z is total ecstasy, I was living in the middle of the alphabet. It was a pretty narrow bandwidth.

And I think that’s the societal thing that’s expected! If you’re too happy, people are taken aback — it’s too much. I think my standard answer to “How are you?” was “Ok, hangin’ in there,” and depending on how close we were, maybe “Ugh, it totally sucks.”

My life was pretty bland. And when I think back, it just didn’t occur to me that there was an option to have better.  continue reading…

Whetting Your Own Appetite

Welcome to the first installment of our 8 week summer series, The Womanly Arts Unplugged! This week, Holly, a Mastery Grad from ’13 and ’14 from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, joins us to teach about the Womanly Art of Whetting Your Own Appetite…

Holly, Age 34, Lawyer

Whetting Your Own Appetite is one of the most difficult and most essential arts of the goddess. The way I see it, whetting your own appetite is the opposite of playing the victim, or waiting to be rescued. Whetting your own appetite is choosing to love yourself in the way that you’re waiting to be loved by the prince — it’s choosing yourself for that great love affair, and then falling in love with yourself as you would the love of your life.

Whetting your own appetite is how you begin to love yourself with complete abandon — it’s the first lick to the lollypop; the last step off the diving board, and it can be really hard to do. It all starts with being hungry. Appetite is attractive, powerful and contagious in the best way. You know how, even when you’re not hungry, if you’re around someone who is…someone who’s like “oh my god, let me tell you about the pizza that I want so much I can taste it” and pretty soon you’re so hungry for pizza you can taste it too? Same thing.

All the ridiculously delicious situations I have found my way into…they all started with my appetite, my desire.

This art is the first step. If you don’t invest the time, when you’re grumpy and swampy and bored, to properly get that appetite built up; get it not Whetted but WET…the rest of it will not work.

I use this art to deal with 12-hour days, bad news from good people; bad news from bad people, shitty dates, scary conversations, anything I feel nervous or little about.

I tune out of my head, tune into my body and start to feel what she wants, what she desires, what she hungers for. As long as my attention is tuned into that turn-on — to the feel-good part of those desires — then any result that manifests itself is exactly perfect, and more likely than not, the result that manifests itself is the one I was desiring or better.

Back up for a moment…how did you find your way to the School of Womanly Arts in the first place?

I lost a bet, and as the “loser” I was forced to read Mama Gena’s book. I was, at the time, NOT the kind of woman who indulged in self-help books; NOT the kind of woman who had patience for anything pink; and NOT the kind of woman who had time for such things.  continue reading…


It’s very nearly July 4th.
Which has me thinking about freedom, intense effort, and something I have noticed.
There is nothing more erotic than giving your all.
Whether it’s to create freedom for yourself, or others.
To stand firmly for what’s right.
Pulling out all the stops, no holding back, and offering all of your attention and all of your love to your endeavors.
To live your commitments, no holds barred.
Giving your all is how to create your destiny, and realign the world.

When I lead my classes, I leave it all on the stage, every time.
Riding hard and coming back sweaty is where the fun is.
The only reason I am capable of laying it all down, day after day, week after week, month after month, in every dimension of my life, is that I know pleasure and I connect daily to my erotic nature.

Pleasure does not deliver you from a life of great output, but, rather, it insists you live your passions with every drop of your being. (Click to tweet!)
Which, inside our culture, is a revolutionary act.

It is not easy to live your passion in a world that encourages mediocrity. And living your passion — choosing to surrender to that place of inner knowing — places each of us in the vulnerable uncertainty of not knowing the outcome, or how we will get there.
Giving our all does not protect us from the times in our lives where we feel the darkness before the dawn, when we very nearly implode from the intense pressure, of work deadlines, of massive projects, of rupture in our personal lives. During those dark days, it feels like it might never get better, and we begin to doubt that we will ever get to where we want to go.

But soon after that lowest point, and, in fact, precisely because of the lowest point, things transform, the sun rises, resolution comes, the unimaginable occurs.

The trick to accelerate and realign your world is to keep flow and movement happening. In other words, you must bring your erotic power to the pressure.
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What I live for


There is a certain kind of emotion that happens inside the Mastery classroom that is so very rare, and so very wonderful.

It is a collision.
A collision of joy that can only take its heartbreakingly beautiful shape in the kind of tears that fly off your cheeks in the raw excitement of being truly deeply felt.
An earthquake of relief when a woman’s molten hot core power replaces the static of centuries of self-doubt.
The hold-on-to-your-hats and fasten-your-safety-harness excitement when she owns her eternal heartbreaking beauty for the very first time, and knows it to the ends of the earth and back.
The falling to your knees gratitude to be so held, so deeply known, so loved to your pores.
The sweat and exhaustion of trying so hard, for so long.
And the sheer insane hilarity of barking up a forest of so many wrong trees for so long, and finally finding home.

I live for this collision.

And today, less than 48-hours after the most magical Mastery Graduation celebration to date, I want to invite you into a little slice of it:

Did you feel it? I’d love to know in the comments . . .

In so much love and pleasure,

Photo Credit: Liz Linder

Hero v. Heroine


How do we know that we’re successful in the world?

One of the aspects of a patriarchal culture, like the one we live in, is that we’ve all been taught a definition of what success is. We’ve been trained to go for certain markers that demonstrate success – external events, or circumstances that our culture adores and elevates.
You know the ones–
The guy. The baby. The job. The salary. The waist size.

But how do you ever feel that you’re really there? What is there? I mean, really, when does the little pixie fairy in the sky arrive, ready to serenade with her tabernacle choir, and sing the “You’re there!” hallelujah chorus? I am still waiting for mine. What does it take to feel successful, to approve of yourself, to celebrate your thereness? And then, when you are finally approaching the neighborhood of there– what do you do when life throws you a crazy curveball, and everything falls apart?

We live in a culture that teaches women to be kind of like corrupted men. We’re trained to be Heroes, versus Heroines.
And it’s not working.

Any time we have ‘man up’ to ‘get the job done’, an essential part of our nature gets left in the dust. And we tend to do that over and over and over again.
Throwing on a suit to work in a cube farm- whether it’s actual or metaphorical, is clipping your woman wings.
We need to install a new internal navigational system, that guides our lives. It’s not that the destination changes — you still want the guy, the baby, the job, the salary — but the path, the journey, the way to get where you want to go, is completely different for a woman.

In today’s post, I want to unpack this a little more. What is the Hero’s Journey that is driving so many women, in a way that keeps them stuck and unhappy? What is the alternative? What does the Heroine’s Journey look like, and how can you lean into its powerful embrace, as you unfold your legend?
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