How do we know that we’re successful in the world?
One of the aspects of a patriarchal culture, like the one we live in, is that we’ve all been taught a definition of what success is. We’ve been trained to go for certain markers that demonstrate success – external events, or circumstances that our culture adores and elevates.
You know the ones–
The guy. The baby. The job. The salary. The waist size.
But how do you ever feel that you’re really there? What is there? I mean, really, when does the little pixie fairy in the sky arrive, ready to serenade with her tabernacle choir, and sing the “You’re there!” hallelujah chorus? I am still waiting for mine. What does it take to feel successful, to approve of yourself, to celebrate your thereness? And then, when you are finally approaching the neighborhood of there– what do you do when life throws you a crazy curveball, and everything falls apart?
We live in a culture that teaches women to be kind of like corrupted men. We’re trained to be Heroes, versus Heroines.
And it’s not working.
Any time we have ‘man up’ to ‘get the job done’, an essential part of our nature gets left in the dust. And we tend to do that over and over and over again.
Throwing on a suit to work in a cube farm- whether it’s actual or metaphorical, is clipping your woman wings.
We need to install a new internal navigational system, that guides our lives. It’s not that the destination changes — you still want the guy, the baby, the job, the salary — but the path, the journey, the way to get where you want to go, is completely different for a woman.
In today’s post, I want to unpack this a little more. What is the Hero’s Journey that is driving so many women, in a way that keeps them stuck and unhappy? What is the alternative? What does the Heroine’s Journey look like, and how can you lean into its powerful embrace, as you unfold your legend?