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From rupture to rapture

Darling,

This is it.
This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since the conception of the Creation Course last year.

Paris.

In just 48 hours we will all be converging at the Warwick Hotel on the Champs Elysees, as we begin our total immersion in the city that was, and is, the engraved invitation that called the Courtesan into existence.

As we’ve been sharing about the upcoming trip, I’ve had people ask me, exactly what IS the Courtesan’s Journey? And what had me build an entire program around it?

Have you ever felt that the Hero’s Journey, the monomyth for how “man does life,” just does not quite fit the woman that you are?  The Courtesan’s Journey is the antidote, the custom-designed monomyth for the feminine, designed to give a woman navigational certainty as she charts her course through every phase of the adventure of life, designed by her desires.  The Courtesan’s Journey is where the human and the divine within take hands and re-create us into the women we were born to become.

I first introduce this to my students in the Mastery classroom. But the deep integration of the Courtesan’s Journey occurs in the Creation Course.  Each participant learns how to steer the passage of her life—no matter how turbulent—with passion and power, during every episode of her unfolding as a woman.  This allows her to roll gracefully through the rupture, reclamation, redemption, and rapture that encompass each chapter of a life well lived.

When a woman learns this construct, she is then empowered (rather than victimized) by challenging circumstances—and uses these events as part of her reclamation as a woman. And not only does she go higher, but she takes everyone around her higher.

Let me give you a real-life example.  I bring you the deliciously improbable story of Sister Goddess Jane.  When she crossed the doorstep of the School of Womanly Arts at age 71, she was in the midst of a rupture in her marriage, and so began her courtesan’s journey…

I am about to embark on the Creation Course trip to Paris, walking the paths of the great Courtesans, after which I’ll be heading to Dordogne, a southern region of France for ten days with my husband, Bob. I am so grateful for the life I’m living.

At age 77, I’ve never felt more happy, beautiful, sexy and sensual, or deeply connected to my husband than I do right now. Yes. 77! At a time of life when most women of my generation have retired their sensuality, and are focused on stability, routine, and safety, I’ve chosen to investigate what turns me on and lights me up.

I took Mastery in 2007, and then was in Inner Circle for 2 ½ years. After a two-year “time out” to digest and experiment with all that I learned, I said “yes” to the Creation Course, with Bob’s full support and encouragement. He knew as I did that the School of Womanly Arts would continue to take us both higher.

But let me tell you, IT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY! FAR FROM IT!

When I arrived at the SWA back in 2007, I had one question I wanted answered: “Should I stay in this marriage?” Not the marriage I refer to above. Oh, no. The marriage I was questioning had been built around my focus on my husband’s problems, 19 years of them. Being a family counselor, I believed that if I could help him with his problems, we could return to the love and connection we’d experienced in the first few years of our relationship. But it wasn’t working, and I knew things had to change. We were overcome, overrun, overtaken by depression and hopelessness, with no way out.

It finally all came to a screeching halt after the untimely death of Bob’s son. The funeral was over, there was nothing left to be done. I was exhausted and depleted.  I did not know what to do next.  But I knew something had to change.

I found the SWA through a woman I met at a retreat. There was something different about her that I was drawn to.  I don’t know, maybe it was because she exuded a quiet power and wore pretty dresses while the rest of us were in jeans, less into feeling beautiful.  At the end of the retreat she approached me with a nicely wrapped gift, saying: “This is a bit over the top, but I think you will like it.” It was Regena’s first book, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. That book sat on my nightstand for about six months—I think I was just too afraid to open it. But when I finally did I thought, “YES! YES!”

Regena asked a question that hit me between the eyes: WHO AM I AS A WOMAN?  It was a question I’d never considered. I knew who I was as a wife, a mom, a daughter, a community member, but who am I as a woman? And how do I create my own pleasure? Totally foreign territory!

That question led me into Mastery, which was phenomenal. The tools, the community, the fun, the focus on pleasure, beauty and sensuality was life altering. Regena told me to take my concern about my marriage off the table for one year, and to focus on myself and my pleasure. I did. I threw myself into the practices: bragging, spring cleaning, swamping, desire lists, womantras. I focused on generating more pleasure for me, invited Bob into it, and surprisingly, he kept joining me.

Soon after, I was ready to focus on my sensuality, which Regena teaches is the source of our pleasure. While Bob had willingly engaged with me in other enjoyable activities, he was resistant to sensual training. I stood for the importance of that desire for myself and our relationship, and while hesitant, he agreed. Through time we worked with several practitioners, yet it was a slow process. We’d begin a practice, incorporate it, and then he’d stop. But at each turn, the transparency of my desire eventually inspired him, and we would move on to the next step together. Since I have been in the Creation Course, continuing to deepen my own sensual pleasure, Bob is experiencing our sensual time more as his gift for himself as well as for me.  And now he is very motivated! Regena is correct, men really want to serve women!

I know that a big reason for the shift in our marriage is that I have included Bob in every step of the way. As I investigated my pleasure, I communicated what was going on with me. I shared what I learned, shared my experiences with him, what it was calling forth in me, and what I wanted.  I also asked him to generate pleasure as I was doing. Rather than the SWA being my trip—which could be felt as a split off from him—I used it to bring him along in his own pleasure as well as mine. I believe that is why he enthusiastically supported me in taking the Creation Course.

The Sister Goddess community has been crucial in my Courtesan Journey in Mastery, Inner Circle and the Creation Course. Whether through sharing their experiences and resources, or encouraging me through my fears and resistance, Sister Goddesses are always at my back. They continue to help me immensely! If I had been on my own, I don’t believe I could ever have made these changes. I knew it was safe to share myself with these women! All of it, my ups and downs—even when I wanted to hide from embarrassment as my relationship would move forward, then backward, idyllic one week, hell another. My Sisters are there to reflect to me my progress, remind me of who I am and what I can create, and cheer me on through the lows. They are my champions and stand for my pleasure and my desires.

I initially came into the Creation Course because I admired how Regena created in the world. She accomplishes what she wants to get done and I wanted to learn how to do that. There’s a book I’d been in the process of writing for years, and so I decided that this would be what I’d create. But I found myself resisting. Start, stop, start. Start, stop, start. I was frustrated and decided to be transparent about my writing with Regena during one of our Creation Course Q&A calls. What she told me changed everything. She asked me to look into my true appetite and see where it takes me. She explained that the culture values production, but that when appetite fuels what we create, it makes us feel happy and fulfilled. This distinction has had a huge impact on how I am now using my creative energy. I get to put it where it makes me happy.

I stopped torturing myself with trying to write and listened to myself, for the first time in my life. When I did that, it took me right back to my marriage—to making it the most joyful, sensual, deeply connected relationship that I ever had. Following my appetite has quieted a noisy inner driver that always demanded that I have a big project to focus on in my personal or professional life, contributing to the world. No matter what I accomplished, I was onto the next undertaking.

With this shift, I spent the most glorious three months in Arizona this past winter. Instead of sitting at my computer, I spent my days in the sublime sunshine, playing, hiking, exploring the gorgeous Southwest. It felt delicious to have fun on my own and with Bob, and it brought us into a whole new sensual practice.  

Sensuality and pleasure have become the foundations of my life. So much so that recently while bidding on a home we found after months of searching, concerned about the cost and that we’d lose it, Bob looked at me and said, “Do you want to have a sensual encounter?” We both roared with laughter. And it totally got our minds off of the house, into our bodies, connected and happy! And we’re now in the process of closing on that very property. 

So I’m off to Paris, excited and nervous, and in deep gratitude for my Courtesan’s Journey and time in the SWA. I have designed an incredible life as a result of my conscious focus on pleasure. Clearly, my life is and will be about it, no matter what age I am. I wonder where this appetite of mine will take me next. Perhaps to write a book, or not… Stay tuned!

SG Jane

Jane will go down in the School of Womanly Arts history as one of the greatest Courtesans of all time.  It was the pain of this unfulfilling marriage that was the impetus for this GORGEOUS and inspiring reclamation.  We women generally fear our own pain.  The Courtesan’s Journey allows a woman to re-create her relationship to rupture, such that she knows it is an invitation from the Divine to re-create and remake herself.

Because whether it’s an unhappy marriage, a layoff, a life-threatening illness, or financial challenges. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a loved one or your faith in life, everything is an opportunity for living the legend you were born to become. With the practice of the Womanly Arts and Tools and the Sister Goddess community to lean into at every turn, your access to ecstasy is assured.

I want to know, where are you on your Courtesan’s Journey? Are you lost?  Or found?  Does Jane’s story connect you to a place of possibility?  How have you used rupture to your advantage? Leave your comments below…

And if you want to help another woman who needs a little rapture, please share this post.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. If you’re a graduate of Mastery and are ready to recreate your relationship to rupture, click here to check out the schedule for the next Creation Course.

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31 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • sg brook May 5, 2013, 8:20 pm

    i so enjoyed reading this!! today, my hubby returned from a week long trip and i decided i was going to ask him if he wants to do trinities with me. this is a big leap for me, because i tend to be very secretive with him, and i’m exploring the reason why, but after hearing a sg tell me about this post, i wanted to explore what it would be like to bring my husband into my life more, and share what i have been learning. i can relate to sg jane with how she used to relate to her husband’s problems, and that too has been something i have struggled with.
    because intimacy and closeness with a man is f-ing TERRIFYING for me, i often find myself feeling lonely in my relationship. i’ve always done everything i could for myself, rarely letting myself be taken care of, and i so desire to be able to let that control go, and really let my husband in. he’s totally awesome, hot, kind, generous, grounded and is begging for me to let me in. (that was supposed to be “let him in” but letting me in fits more)
    thank you mama gena for creating such a brilliant and amazingly perfect school that is exactly what i needed! xo

  • Andrea May 5, 2013, 6:18 am

    Wow, reading this story and all of these posts makes me realize that I am not alone. For years, I have put my desires on hold thinking that I had to in order to pour that time into my growing family, but I never realized how that would affect my true inner happiness.

    While we have had a wonderful time as a family and have made many amazing memories, I now see that as my kids are growing up and life is always “busy”, that I am trying to make sure everyone else is happy but I’m not investing in my own happiness. Sadly, while our lives got busier over the last few years, my husband and I slipped into an “autopilot” mode in our marriage. We chalked it up to our busy lives and hectic schedules, but it makes me sad that my husband and I are no longer having fun and laughing and talking as much as we used to. Now I realize that much of this is the impact of my sacrifice of my own desires.

    I am ready to recapture the essence of who I am as a woman and harness that power within myself. It’s time to love myself fully again so that I am truly the best woman I can be and share that with the people I love in my life.

    Thank you for sharing your stories. I am looking forward to sharing my “rapture story” one day in the future!

  • Deborah Smith May 2, 2013, 1:40 pm

    As Always: Awesome Regena. Thank you Jane. I get it that our pleasure is the answer to so much and I am so grateful for the reminders and learning of all the hows: how to find it, how to keep it, how to share it, how to honor it!!! Bon Voyage!!

  • ELIDE BELTRAM May 1, 2013, 7:52 am

    I AM with all the sisters above. Years ago I wrote my own funeral and eulogy, on a stone there would be written: SHE DID IT ALL. And I did. My life started at 55 when I divorced, got a Ph.D. created a career, wrote 2 book, one in progress “The no-rule Book for Lovers at 75”, lived with the wild Orangutans of Borneo etc etc. My daughter invited me to join MAMAGENA because “I did it all”….and realized I was settling….I was proud that I had no more wishes…till the talent show of SG. A red flag went up “You have adapted to not dancing the TANGO’ after you broke your foot 12 yrs ago” …a little voice saying “maybe you can again”. I gathered a team of doctors and healers and I am now practicing the tango with a special red boot that will take me on stage flaming with passion in the arms of a man. The PhD was about not giving in to my “ADD” and the tango not giving in to my physical handicaps. I am a great-grandmother and I am a feisty 74 beautiful and sexy woman. Mama Gena got me started with my third life. Tks Goddess.

    • tahsa May 1, 2013, 11:57 am

      Dear Elide,
      What an inspiration for me!
      Your list after 55 is just incredible!

      Love,
      Tasha

    • Deborah Smith May 2, 2013, 1:38 pm

      WOW!!! I am constructing a Women’s Tango Ensemble for the Talent Show, wanna guest with us?

  • Betsy Blankenbaker April 30, 2013, 4:14 pm

    I love the SWA community so much. I came into the Mastery program in 2008 broken and betrayed. Jane is one woman among the hundreds I have met through SWA who are modeling how to live from a place of pleasure and authenticity. It’s amazing to be supported by a circle of empowered woman who are cheering you on.
    Thank you Jane! Thank you Regena!
    Love from your biggest fan,
    Betsy

  • Melinda Cohan April 30, 2013, 3:35 pm

    Oh SG Jane, my gorgeous Creation Course Pod Mate, i am in awe at the great Courtesan that you are! My fav frame from your story “So I’m off to Paris, excited and nervous, and in deep gratitude for my Courtesan’s Journey and time in the SWA. I have designed an incredible life as a result of my conscious focus on pleasure. Clearly, my life is and will be about it, no matter what age I am. I wonder where this appetite of mine will take me next.”

    I look forward to that journey with you…sister to sister… woman to woman. What i know for sure, it will be a glorious ride where ever it takes you.

    Thank you for taking us all higher through your rupture and reclamation.

  • SG Laura April 30, 2013, 3:07 pm

    What a completely transformative and inspiring story!! Thank you SG Jane for your bravery and beauty and Thank you Mama for your stellar guidance.

    Reading about honoring your appetite made me realize I have been sneaking my desires in little by little without truly celebrating them and allowing them to shine in the light of day. I brag that my eyes have been opened. Thank you Thank you!!!

    XO SG LV

  • Alexandra April 30, 2013, 2:50 pm

    Dearest SG Jane,
    I am smiling ear to ear, and smiling from my pussy to the ends of the Universe. I just feel so proud to know you, to behold who you are and am delightfully startled at your choice to go public.
    I love you.
    Dearest SG Regena,
    I love you. I love that you provide context for such reclamation, and for every other flavor of reclamation that comes with being a woman receiving your attention
    As ever,
    SG Alexandra

  • karen April 30, 2013, 2:01 pm

    Jane,

    ME TOO! I am a counselor in a wounded and seemingly unredeemable marriage. Every personal change I make seems to drive the wedge in that much further. I have gone back to school, my career is flourishing and so are my children but I feel like a dried out hag at 45. I would welcome an email from you if you are inclined.

  • tasha April 30, 2013, 1:20 pm

    never felt I have right for my desires
    Always looking after members of my family: parents, husband, daughter…
    Parents gone, daughter is critisizing every step of mine, husband gone to young model in pretty dresses…..
    tragedy
    7 years later for the first time I bought & put on a dress, just for the evening while singing with my choir
    Everybody was so amazed, after 20 years knowing me, they couldn’t believe, I was somewhat different from what they thought about me
    This first dress of mine – this is big THANK YOU to Mama Gena
    I couldn’t believe myself I was so brave_big step to take!!!!

    This post of Jane – real brilliant encouraging story!
    Thank you Jane, for being so brave and wise and beautiful!
    Love.

  • Jane April 30, 2013, 12:10 pm

    LOVE.

  • SG Mim April 30, 2013, 12:10 pm

    Dear SG Jane,

    What a magnificent story! Thank you so much for sharing. I am inspired and encouraged. At 55, I also decided to take Mastery to see what I wanted to do about my marriage. It’s been 14 years of tenderness, but hardly any sex. I’ve also struggled with my business for years and just don’t feel the verve any more. I decided it would be worth the money if I got so delicious that clients flocked to me. In other words, I had to make money from it. I didn’t value my happiness for my own sake. And yet, I’ve been feeling like I’m just running out the clock, in my life and in my marriage. We can’t leave each other, but we aren’t having fun any more.

    He is so thrilled I’m in Mastery. He drives me from NJ each day of the weekends. Were still not having much sex, but we intentionally take 5 minutes of pleasure. We’re talking about a Vermont vacation, despite a bunch of unexpected expenses. We invested in gorgeous landscaping, which makes me so happy to look at. I had an amazing Courtesan Couch with wonderful sister goddesses. I’m wearing red lipstick and perfume, along with clothes I love. I deleted the computer game I got addicted to. I decided to stop worrying about how many clients I have and just enjoy people. And then I forgot that I had decided that, but your story reminded me again.

    You showed me that a woman can be juicy and fulfilled in her 70s, and I feel like you’ve given me a new sense of the future. I’m going to adopt your decision to take the decision about staying married off the table for the year.

    Regena, I’ve known you since the More House and admired you and madly envied you. I have resisted your classes for over 15 years! But I am so moved by your work, and by who you have become. Thank you for championing women in all stages of life, because who we are is eternal.

    Love,
    SG Mim

    • mama gena April 30, 2013, 1:38 pm

      wow mim. deep thanks for risking yourself with the swa. i honor your presence and your desires.

  • Audrey April 30, 2013, 11:58 am

    Jane, you get more beautiful every day. Rubbing your head from afar… xo

  • Paula April 30, 2013, 11:26 am

    Jane!

    What an inspiration you are! I had tears in my eyes reading about your journey. I am on a similar path, taking baby steps. I get frustrated at times, am in and out of the community, but I know there is hope. He is a good man. I have to be patient with him and, as you have demonstrated, make him part of the process of my unfolding… our unfolding… I am doing that but I could be better at my own pleasure. Baby steps… Who would have ever thought that pleasure would be so hard to stay focused on!!!

    Thank you for this beautiful sharing. Haver fun in Paris!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxox

  • Gianna Miceli April 30, 2013, 11:24 am

    I am in awe of you Jane. Bravo!

  • Carolina April 30, 2013, 11:01 am

    Love this story – I’m 68 and at the beginning of figuring out what this rupture going on in my life is all about. Talking to other women I only get a small glimpse of their struggles but no real insight or answers for myself. Or where to go or what to do to alleviate this chronic depression . I just know there is a longing for something more. I have a willing husband, at least I think I do, although he is stubborn at times which often leads to frustration. Now I’m looking to be my own source of joy and fulfillment and have sort of given up looking for it outside of myself. I’ve realized that the answers are within and no one else can give that to me. It would be wonderful if I could bring him along, but I know I need to take time to figure it out for myself first

    • little jo June 21, 2013, 3:02 pm

      to get rid of your depression I think you should practice self-loving, orgasm is boosting our defenses, creativity and positivity, it gives us confidence and allows us to find our true selves eventually, experience pleasure and happiness and then share it.

  • Deborah April 30, 2013, 10:18 am

    As I am finally leaving a very sexual relationship that left my emotional being completely out of the picture, I felt happy for all that I am. At 61 I am in the prime of my life and don’t need a man as much as I would like a partner. I thank you Sister Goddesses for sharing your lives. Women are so interesting and wonderful.

    • mama gena April 30, 2013, 10:29 am

      pure truth, sister. women are so interesting and wonderful.
      🙂

  • BSG Glitzy Cougar Karen April 30, 2013, 10:02 am

    Jane,
    You have no idea how much I needed this story today. I know it, have watched you go through the journey, but to read it all in one place is truly inspirational.

    I’ve been dabbling in the swamp for awhile now, and last night I jumped head first into the mud, with messy tears adding to the muck.

    But I awoke this morning refreshed and this has given me such fuel to keep going. And as a 60 year old goddess, I love watching you going ever more deeply into pleasure. What a model for all of us as we age. You are a beacon, and that Regena? A freakin’ genius!!! Enjoy Paree:)

    • mama gena April 30, 2013, 10:29 am

      and karen??? freakin’ genius…..

  • Jean Kathryn Carlson April 30, 2013, 9:55 am

    Love this story! Such a great reminder to enjoy sensual pleasure and invite play into every step. As I am planning my first ever dream and creative writing workshop, this is my call to remember to have fun and make it a sensual experience for all…..

    THANKS

  • kim ritter gignac April 30, 2013, 9:45 am

    I love this woman’s story! As women, we sure aren’t taught that sensuality can be our foundation! At 52 years old, I love that thought, as I am feeling very sexy today at work. I’m keeping this woman’s wonderful story, so I can remember that sensuality can be my foundation my entire life! Now THAT brings pleasure!

  • SG Lara Quiksilver Sizzle Wisniewski April 30, 2013, 9:39 am

    This is really inspring. I am 45 and in a relationship for five years and our marriage 2 years ago. I sense that SG Jane was as helpless and conflicted about her marriage as I currently am. My marriage issues, me in my marriage, his lack of man training are what lead me to Mastery this year and its working but baby steps. It heartens me to see how she re-configured and with her persevering focus managed to turn the realtionship around. So much courage and strungth. It gives me hope too because where I need to take my husband at this time seems like an insane request of the Universe but I know deep down he wants to please me and that is the chink in the armor I am hanging onto with all my might! THank you for this post. SG Jane if you have any words of encouragement I am always open. Have a great time in Paris, MY GODDESS you earned it!!!

    • mama gena April 30, 2013, 10:27 am

      i love the depth and breadth of your desire.
      you will get there, too, sister goddess lara!!

  • SG Smita April 30, 2013, 9:33 am

    I’ve seen your face on the login page for sister goddess.com for months and it is such a delight to read the story behind the picture. I am so glad you shared it. Now every time I log in I will stop and smile and remember it as an inspiration

  • Luxurious Laurie April 30, 2013, 9:32 am

    I am right there with you all in spirit in Paris…for I am truly a Divine courtesan, a powerful conjurer, and, like all of you, an extraordinary woman. Thank you, Universe!!!