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Top 5 Ways Women Lose Their Pleasure and How to Find It Again


It is always hiding in the last place you look.
Yesterday, I was looking everywhere for my bracelet that I took off the previous day, just before my shower.
I remembered taking it off.
But I could not remember where I put it down.
And I looked everywhere, had my kid and my mom looking everywhere, on our hands and knees, but no bracelet.
It was like it vaporized.
But I did not stop looking.  And I became more and more hysterical inside, with every spin through the house.
Because I knew it was there, I just could not find it.

Neglected pleasure feels just like that.
Just like that.
You have done whatever you could to make good decisions.  You have worked hard.  You have hit the marks that everyone told you about.
And there is still something vital that is missing, that fills you with an uncomfortable upset inside, that intensifies the harder you try to find it.

So, I want to give you the roadmap to the top five ways that women lose their pleasure and how to find it again, so you can stop your search, and find yourself, in a whole new way.

Listen now to The Top 5 Ways Women Lose Pleasure:

To recap, here are the top five ways women lose their pleasure:

1.  She is stuck in the misery of a long-term relationship where she feels stifled, undervalued, and ignored, or she is not dating because all the good ones are taken, and she is certain she will never find a great guy, even before she gets out of the starting gate.

2.  She hates her job and feels underpaid and under-appreciated.

3.  She feels fat, even though she’s not, she feels old, even though she’s not, and she feels like everyone else is sexier than she is.

4.  She has it together, and she has created a lot of what she wants, but there is still a nameless longing inside of her that leaves her sad and lonely at her core.

5.  She feels a deep sense of hopelessness and immobility as she looks at her options.

And here are the simple, proven methods you can implement right now to find your pleasure again:

1.  Start your day with the Daily Fluffs for a little morning pleasure inspiration.

2.  Every Thursday, create a new desire list and send your desires out into the twitterverse on #DesireThursdays with Mama Gena.

3.  Choose a theme song, for your day, every day, that speaks to your soul.  Give yourself a dance break and sing-along break every couple of hours.  Today, mine is “Manhattan” by Kings of Leon.

4.  Pretend that the streets are your runway, you are the hottest woman on the planet, and that everyone wants you, as you head for work, run a meeting, or do your supermarket supermom thang.  I have learned to rock this in flip flops, sneakers, or stilettos.

5.  Lip gloss.  Always lip gloss.  It never fails.  Current fave:  Laura Mercier’s Bellini.

Wanna really press your pleasure edge? Join us in Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp!

What other tips do you have as a safeguard against the top five ways women lose their pleasure? Be sure to leave a comment below!

With so much love and pleasure,

Mama Gena

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15 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Lisa August 22, 2011, 1:31 pm

    Love this and I love the daily fluff….I am so grateful to have found your site Mama!!!! I’m saving up so that I can attend boot camp. Until then I have purchased your book and am getting the Daily Fluff mails..I am a recent “empty nester” also going thru a divorce so I am in need of daily reminders to HAVE FUN and bring pleasure back into my life….it’s been gone a while so I do need some help remembering how!!!

    This is my time – and I am on my way to SG-hood <3

  • Jocelyn August 21, 2011, 9:42 pm

    Getting to stressed out with everyday worries and forgetting to have FUN in life! Get out and flirt a bit – even with the grocery boy, deli man, bus driver…whoever!! 🙂

  • Leslee August 20, 2011, 4:20 pm

    Getting something off my chest (just did so actually and I feel SO much better now) so my lil world can be a more pleasurable place (I brag that in the last 5 days or so I’ve told the truth to 2 men that bothered me and they fixed it for me), cultivate a deep passion (one of mine that really lights me up is Irish stuff. I’ve wanted to live there since I was 13 and it just lights me up to sing songs from there at the top of my lungs, or to talk to my friend over there who sounds just like Jonathan Rhys Myers in August Rush, or to just take a minute to go there in my head. I’m wearing my fave diamond-studded harp necklace right now), buying sexy lingerie, treating myself to the coffee of my choice – whatever I desire most at the moment, stroking my baby-soft hair after a shower and feeling so beautiful & soft, getting waxed all over (ha of course, it’s the after-effect of feeling so soft and touchable that’s pleasurable, not the yanking part), practicing/studying for the careers I want (one of my desires is to afford the education and certification for nutrition, massage, and a few languages, and to practice all those in a state of self-employment).

  • Regina Grande August 20, 2011, 12:22 am

    Ah! Pleasure found..for me it’s wholesome, harmless flirting, chocolate-peanut butter ice cream, gushing sweat after an amazing run, letting hot guys driving big trucks in on the freeway, driving MY big old ’76 Ford, and singing along top volume to Dwight Yokam’s ‘Buenos Noches From A Lonely Room’! On a good day, I indulge in all six!
    Love Y’all,
    Regina Grande

  • kieawnie August 19, 2011, 10:31 pm

    I think the idea of pleasure has not been taught to so many of us. So when asked to engage on such practices it can literally be terrifying!

  • Michelle Medina August 19, 2011, 10:00 pm

    Mmmmmm Mama Gena!!!! I love it!!! Absolutely wonderful! Thank you for sharing with us all!!

  • SG CeeCee August 19, 2011, 9:45 am

    My theme song is Michael Franti’s “Shake It Shake It Shake It” Always puts me in a most fabulous place!

    Can’t wait for Boot Camp!!! WooHoo!

  • Natalie August 18, 2011, 6:53 pm

    Thinking that WE are not enough! YOU ARE! Just the way you are!

  • SG Lovely Rita August 18, 2011, 3:14 pm

    Love the theme song idea! I do it all the time! “She’s Got The Look”, “Perfect Day”. “Settlin”, “Love is in the Air”.
    Rock on sistahs!

  • SG Dr. Al August 18, 2011, 1:13 pm

    I start my day with prayer and meditation and soothe my frazzled mind with the reminder that there is grewat force out there in the universe that has my pleasure taken care of.

  • stephanie August 18, 2011, 1:08 pm

    thank you mamamamamamaa!!!!
    i love the reminders. i’m learning how important it is to slip little pleasures into and throughout every day as a reminder of the GODDESS in me! it always reminds me to focus on ME, what’s good in my life and to continually strive to come up higher!
    much love,

  • Empress Shakaya August 18, 2011, 12:47 pm

    I just love this and I love you Mama!

    O, for me, its essential oils for my perfume- I smell EDIBLE!

    and yes, organic lip gloss always makes me feel super sultry 😉

    Keep rockin’ those flip flops and stilettos Honey xo

  • Nelda August 18, 2011, 11:12 am

    Thank you for all the great thoughts, can’t help thinking of you each time I look at a woman and remind myself the goddess in her! Cheers!!

  • Melanie August 18, 2011, 10:48 am

    Every morning, without fail, I have my coffee first thing, EXACTLY as I like it. And I never miss it. It starts every day off with promise no matter what was on my mind when I went to bed the night before.

  • Laura August 18, 2011, 8:21 am

    I think one big way women lose their pleasure is not getting enough sleep. Thanks for creating such a fun organization!