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Sitting on untapped potential?

Sitting on Untapped Potential

A few weeks ago, an incredibly brave woman stood up at my intro class and broke open the room with her vulnerability.

She stood there, voice trembling into the microphone. “When I went to the gynecologist, she said my vagina had atrophied. What?!”

Bam. Ouch. WTF.

We all took a collective deep breath.

What a piercing metaphor, don’t you think? Whether or not a doctor tells us, we’ve all felt what she felt.

We all have experienced a part of ourselves – physical, emotional, or even spiritual – that we can just feel is asking for our attention. Dying on the vine.

So slowly and insidiously that it’s easy to ignore, but somewhere we deeply know we are not expressing our full potential. That there’s more for us to feel, to be, to love, to give, to receive.

The word atrophy originates from the late 16th century, from the Greek, ‘lack of food,’ from a– ‘without’ + trophē ‘food.’

Without food.

Every woman has a different part of herself that she has either allowed to atrophy or not realized has atrophied.

Perhaps it’s a part of her authentic nature that has never been allowed to bloom.
Or an aspect of her true capacity that she isn’t even sure exists.

  • Sometimes when we get really good at our career, we can let our sex life or relationship life atrophy
  • Sometimes when we pour ourselves into the endless demands of parenting, we can let our ambitions atrophy
  • Or when you are dealing with the complexity of raising a family, the intimacy and connection in relationship with your husband/partner can atrophy
  • Or when you’re in a dead marriage, your own aliveness and radiance atrophies
  • Often, when you’re at a dead end job, your most deeply held dreams can atrophy

And when you let a vital part of the feminine deteriorate, it feels like it slowly poisons all the other good parts.

When you know you’re not living, really living the life you were destined for – it keeps a lid on your happiness.

It’s important to clarify here—I’m not saying we all need to be everything to everyone. There’s enough pressure out there in the world to be super-woman.
I’m talking about the inside game.

I’m talking about the part of you that knows you’re sitting on untapped potential.
A part of you that knows “I’m living small.”

You’re afraid it’s permanent. Of course you are.
You’re afraid that if you did pay attention to it, things would break down, or you wouldn’t be able to function in all the ways you do.

So we stay put. In a dead marriage, or a dead job, or dead city, or a dead habit—so that we can function. Sometimes we do this for decades.

Now, here’s the good news:

Those atrophied parts can come back to life, when planted and nourished in the right conditions. Not only that, new life is sprouted—aspects of yourself you never even dreamed or imagined or knew were possible will begin to flourish.

You have no idea how limitless you are.
You have no idea how much those untended gardens of yours want to spring to life.
They are your magnificent interior landscapes and they want their day in the sun.

So, what are the growing conditions of the feminine?
They are simple, but not easy.

Women need each other. Truly. We need sisterhood like we need oxygen. Which is the opposite of what we were taught—that women are competition. When actually, women can source and sustain each other’s dreams and desires.
We need to turn on. The juice that fires up all of our engines is pleasure.
We need the permission and the invitation to Feel. It. All. Shutting down and numbing out is for sissies.
We need reclamation. And we deserve it now.

I have made it my life’s mission to create a place, a space, a container where these conditions are non-negotiable. Where women can come and plant themselves in the fertile soil designed to show them how to thrive.

In 18 days, the School of Womanly Arts class of 2016 will gather for the very first time. The Mastery Program is nearly 90% full.

I’ve been thinking about each and every woman who has decided to make it happen, sometimes against ridiculous odds—because she wants something. Because, while she may think she’s nuts for saying yes to this adventure—some part of her knows that she’s about to claim a piece of her birthright, one that has not been getting the attention it deserves and the tools it requires.

Mastery is for women who know they have untapped potential.
For women who do not want to leave this earth having an unlived life inside of them.
For women who want to learn and experience their wingspan, their velocity, their capacity to love and be loved.

Whether or not I see you in Mastery this year, know this:
It is not too late.
You are not too much.
Rapture is not for “those women”—it’s for YOU.
Every part of you is worthy-exquisite-delicious and deserves to flourish.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments

What part of your life have you not yet unfurled?
What dreams are you holding at bay? And for what reasons?
What’s one step you can take to give those parts of yourself more nourishment today?

So much love,
Mama Gena

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15 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Cherie-Lee February 25, 2016, 4:50 am

    Spot on!
    this is profoundly where I find myself….atrophied to just a shadow

  • Maggie February 24, 2016, 10:47 am

    Good timing, getting nervous re $ having signed up after weekend in January.

    a reminder of my needs.

  • Anna February 24, 2016, 12:42 am

    I found out about Mama Gena’s School from a couple of Books I have by Dr. Christiane Northrup. Though Doing Really Well in the Sex/Lovemaking Department, but Knowing there is Always more to learn I got one of Mama Gena’s Books in my Kindle, and recently got the EMO book referenced in the first book, ;D. Last week I had a phone interview with a Mindset Coach and she said I have to get past my Past to walk into my future. Knowing that I’m starting my journey through The Change, I feel thankful that there are resources out there, and here to learn about before I get knee deep in symptoms that are mostly avoidable. Thank you for creating a safe space for us ladies and the men who love us to grow. I for one have No Plans to atrophy in that or any region of this Luscious Body I inhabit currently. And if I smirk or LOL while reading my Kindle in the Break room, well, let’s just say I’m Not Sorry. ;D Thanks Ladies.

  • Beth February 23, 2016, 9:44 pm

    Great reality and metaphor–so much untapped potential. I was also in NYC–and am so happy to be part of this Revolutionary work!. Aiming for Mastery 2017–and can’t wait!

  • Maria February 23, 2016, 8:44 pm

    Hey this hit me where I live! Was painful to read. Didn’t want to even add my comment cuz my gynecologist told me the same thing!!! (It takes a fair amount of courage for me to even admit it HERE!) Chalk it up to traumatizing sexual experiences and from the shame and shaming and silence around all things sexual when I was coming up and the consequences over a lifetime. Oh yeah, there’s untapped potential there. So glad I finally signed up for Mastery, after thinking about it (and not being able to afford it). I still can’t afford it but I’m coming anyway! Don’t know how I’m going to have the courage, but I’ll try!

  • Francie February 23, 2016, 5:24 pm


    Thank you so much for this very moving blog

    I teared up reading this—oh yes. Atrophied in limbo right now—so look forward to becoming more unstuck in March, being in Mama Gena’s awesome beautiful presence again with the sister goddesses and doing Mastery that has transformed so many women I have met in this last year of awakening… I’m full of anticipation for 4 big weekends, and time before, between and after. My pum pum loves water, pleasure and sex; it tells me what’s fake and what’s a real deal; my pumpum is my GPS— battery runs low these days and nights in Boulder-burbs on edge of consciousness and hello. ❤️????????????

  • Jody February 23, 2016, 1:40 pm

    Love reading this. I was also one of the 800 sister goddesses in NY last month, and I was absolutely inspired to light a fire in my life and get moving on my festering desires and atrophied dreams. YAY! I am advocating for myself and moving forward wholeheartedly. A huge part of my dream is to have a circle of supportive and loving sisters around me, who can meet me where I am and love every part of me, without judging the how’s and why’s of my process and my path. I realize that as soon as I am loving MYSELF in that way, THEY WILL COME! Thank you!

  • Susan February 23, 2016, 12:39 pm

    This email is exactly what I have been feeling lately. I am not even living small, I am just showing up each day. I am so GRATEFUL that I will be joining you and all the other wonderful women in a couple weeks for Mastery. I so need to start living for myself and finding MY desires and passions! Thank you!!!

  • Traci February 23, 2016, 12:38 pm

    OMG. I am sitting in the OB’s office waiting for the doctor and have just answered 1000 questions about my lady parts – all of my answers confirmed to me that I believe my vagina has atrophied as well. Seeing your note today isn’t by coincidence. When I get back to work I am going to seriously look at the mastery program. Thank you for the little nudge…

  • Deana February 23, 2016, 11:28 am

    You always speak to things going on in my life!!! I am 44 (almost 45), expecting my first Grandchild (CAN NOT WAIT)! This week I have made the constitutional change in my life to CHOOSE WHAT I WANT because I want it… NOT BECAUSE I NEED IT. I wanted to finish school so I enrolled….. I want to color my hair (NEVER HAVE BEFORE) so tonight I have an appointment to do that!!! My hubby got visibly excited about seeing me in a new pair of khakis that I was not sure I should wear to work….. He said that I should show off my hot body because most 34 year olds don’t have a body like mine!!! SO I WORE THEM TODAY!!!
    I AM CHOOSING THINGS I WANT!!! Not just what I need! Thank you for being here for all of us Sisters!!!

  • Kat Burns February 23, 2016, 11:26 am

    First of all, mama, let me say how grateful I am for you making me grateful for me! I was at The Experience and I feel exalted, and wish I had the cash to sign up for mastery cause I realize I have truly been living small, dreaming small. That’s GOT to change!! I’m working on it, and everything of yours that I read helps me on my mission. I BELIEVE that it’s not too late until the last breath whisps out of my cooling body to give CO2 to the trees. Thank you for validating me, mama. I love you.

  • Pamela February 23, 2016, 11:06 am

    Mama Gena, your timing is impeccable! You get the battles that we fight daily- internally and externally. Thank you, Thank you!!!

  • Carole Thomassy February 23, 2016, 11:00 am

    Hi Mama Gena, I just wanted to say that I was THERE with you in NY with those 800 women, and I so Loved the event! AHO! to you! More than anything I was Encouraged in the work I do myself Awakening women to the Truth of their Being, and that you called so Many Sister Goddesses to show up! Bravo! In deep Gratitude for expanding the Sacred Feminine Community on the Planet!

  • Bobbie February 23, 2016, 10:36 am

    This brought tears to my eyes, as I can certainly identify, and this is why I did sign up for Mastery this year. I am SO looking forward to starting the Mastery program in March, to reclaiming all of myself, and to the experience of true, beautiful Sisterhood!

  • Debbie Rosas February 23, 2016, 10:31 am

    As someone who understands what it means to nourish, feed, and make body and life choices based on pleasure I can relate to a vagina that has atrophied. In my second marriage, sexless, I thought the only way to feed my vagina was by having sex with my husband. I had not learned the magic available when we practice the Womanly Arts! The best lover, partner, relationship I will ever have is the one I have with MY body!