What do negative thoughts feel like?

Darling,

I am still drenched, saturated, steeped in the beauty, power, and cell-changing energy that we created in Miami.
No kidding, Sisters.
It was Nuclear. Fission.
That’s what we were doing all weekend.
Live alchemy.
Which gets amplified in the most astonishing way when we come together as a community to kneel, together, at the altar of Desire.

When our community comes together, like we do in Miami, or Mastery, there is no way that a woman cannot get what she wants.
We become the Desire manufacturing center for the world.

I wish I could ladle you up a bowl of hot savory Miami that we could sip slowly together, like hot cocoa at an ice rink, steam rising, nourishing our bodies, our souls, our deepest longings.
I want you to have what we all had.
Why?
Well, it is time for the women – not just the women of Miami – but the women of the world to become Unleashed.
And what does it mean to be Unleashed?

It means living in a way that you are operating at your best, your highest, your most radiant.
Not just occasionally, like when you have a good hair day or you get laid, but as your default.
Imagine if your ‘go to’ set point was you Unleashed? Ecstatic? Joyed and overjoyed?

Here is the good news.
It is not harder than being miserable.
In fact, it’s actually much easier.
It’s just an extremely hard neighborhood to get to, when you have never been there, and it is really impossible to stay there, if you do not have the tools.

A few years ago, Dr. Christiane Northrup came to speak at Mastery. She is a frequent speaker, and this time, she did something that I never saw her do before.

She asked everyone in Mastery, who’d had a spontaneous healing, to stand up.
She made each woman take the microphone, and speak about what happened to her, and how she had healed from some grave physical impairment.
It took me a few years to really understand the science behind what was happening to women in the Mastery room, but I get it now and I want to share it with you.

For the most part, in the here and the now, women treat themselves like shit.
What do I mean by that?
Well, before a woman even gets out of bed in the morning, she has already engaged in a long-standing habit of self-criticism, self-doubt and self-attack.
Should I get up? Or press the snooze button one more time?
I am so lazy, and I am so tired, and I hate my job, and I have nothing to wear, and there are bags under my eyes, and I am so fat, and my hair is out of control and I have a pimple, and I should have gotten up earlier and gone to the gym, no wonder I don’t have a boyfriend…blah blah blah.
Whew.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a cell in her body?

Let’s pretend.

There you are, sleeping nicely, resting up as best you can.
Then, suddenly, instead of being bathed in the warm sweet morning sunshine you start to get attacked by a hailstorm of cortisol, a product of negative thoughts.
What do negative thoughts feel like?
They feel like getting choked in a thick swamp of cortisol, or stress hormone.
Every time a woman attacks herself with self-doubt or self-deprecation, she bathes her cells in stress hormone, which immediately depresses the immune system, weakens the muscles, depresses bone growth, suppresses fertility, stimulates gastric acid, weakens memory, creates inflammation, creates anxiety, depression, digestive problems, heart disease, sleep problems, weight gain.

Your thoughts actually turn your perfectly plump, happy, healthy cells into deadly missiles directed at YOU.
And without realizing it, or even considering that indeed there is another option, you are slowly collaborating with your body to silently and consistently poison your health.

Whoah.
No kidding, Mama.
You can control the destiny of your cells with the power of your thoughts. {Click to tweet this!}
You think good ones? Guess what? You flood your body with Nitric Oxide, flipping on the neurotransmitters, creating beta endorphin and prolactin, which reduce stress, reduce cortisol, and create feelings of euphoria and a sweet sense of bonding.
In other words, you actually regenerate your cells and flood yourself with health and well being with the power of your thoughts.

But how do you live in a way that allows you to control what you bathe your sweet little cells in?

That, my darlings, is where the discipline of pleasure comes into play.

A woman unleashed is a woman that takes on the negativity of the culture, the challenges of her life, the stress, the overwhelm, by pulling off the most unlikely move.
She reaches – like a kamikaze pilot – for a hot wet serving of pleasure, no matter what is happening in her life. As if her life depended on it.
Because it does.

Join me in the comments below and tell us:

What do you do when the stress hits the fan?
What do you reach for?
Chocolate? Pizza? A cigarette? A piña colada?
Or do you reach for a serving of pleasure?
And if so, what Tools or Arts serve you?
What ignites you when your flame is flickering?

With so much love & pleasure,

mama-gena-sig-180px

  • 42 Comments · Leave One

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Allyson Schmidt November 19, 2013 at 9:01 am

Pleasure is becoming my “go-to” experience. Depending on the situation, it can be some delicious yoga, a glass of red wine, performing a powerful poetry-reading, letting go of old thought patterns of judgement and the embracing of acceptance and forward-momentum. Most times it is just the happy smile on my face, sparkle in my eyes, sashay in my gorgeous hips that gets me going. The joy of being myself, integrated in myself, living life in the magical flow keeps me keeping on.

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Ellen Levin November 19, 2013 at 9:18 am

YES and YEAH! inspiring

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Ellen Levin November 19, 2013 at 9:17 am

Mama Gena

WOW! This blog could not have been better timed for me! YES! I do believe/KNOW now that our thoughts produce form………meaning if we are thinking hostile thoughts it will hurt us in some form or other……. This is also the teaching of A COURSE IN MIRACLES which I am happily steeped in…….my POST MASTERY and POST BOOTCAMP teachings/learnings

SO GRATEFUL for all that’s available for us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eye problems were a WAKE UP call for me…….. Here was a very upsetting/distressing situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to say the least!!!!!!!!!

So I entered Mastery in 2012 and learned to YES everything ……….and I mean EVERYTHING! THAT STILL IS MY FAVORITE SWA TOOL…….the UMBRELLA for all the other SWA tools

For several months now I have been doing ACIM (a course in miracles). I see Barbara Stanny and so many others have done it also. Ha!

I am NO LONGER entertaining NEGATIVE THINKING………… When negative thoughts arise I tell them “I am no longer interested” or sing the Ray Charles (?) song……..”HIT THE ROAD JACK …….DON’T YOU COME ROUND NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE”………… and

DANCE ALOT …….another favorite SWA tool

…………..

I have had a very disciplined morning and now 24/7 spiritual (SELF LOVE) practice (SWA also) of ACIM, yoga, out loud prayer, dancing, coffee with soy, painting painting painting painting for hours, biking and much more……………

a disciplined practice of SELF LOVE that goes on ALL DAY LONG!!!!!!!! 24/7 is the goal and I AM DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with fabulous results!

………….

I am sorry I missed you all in Miami but my surgery went fabulously well!!!!!!!!!!! I made the right choice for me to do it on my birthday 11/11… always a lucky day and received THE BEST POSSIBLE BIRTHDAY present in the world

LOVE and LIGHT and JOY and FUN and HEALING and ……………..LEADING AN ORGASMIC LIFE in ALL IT’S FORMS………. and wish that for all of us RIGHT HERE/RIGHT NOW………

THAT’S MY DESIRE and all our birthrites

xoxoxooxoxoxxox

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Alay'nya November 19, 2013 at 9:40 am

What an uplifting and inspiring comment! (Actually, all of you are creating great comments, and I LOVE you for this …) – but I particularly wanted to affirm your participation in ACIM – I’ve been doing this also, for about two years – totally life changing!

And I am inspired by your own morning ritual! (Will include more of what you’re doing into what I’m doing!)

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Santha November 19, 2013 at 9:18 am

What a great post to receive today!

I am giving a talk tonight: “Meet the Plants: Healing Herbal Teas.”

I’m going to tell about the herbal teas I make, and about how I came to make them, and about the gifts of the plants that are inside them. There is so much beauty there!

And, my prayer and my resolve for this day as I build toward delivering this talk, is that every step of the way will be filled with beauty and pleasure — that, like the kamikaze pilot you mention, I will find joy and satisfaction in each moment and each encounter along the way.

This will be a good exercise for me, because it is all too easy to fall into anxiety about what is not good enough or not prepared or not as beautiful as I would would like it to be. So: instead, I am going to find and amplify the beauty in each moment!

Thank you for your words of inspiration, to send me on my way this day!

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Laurie Irwin November 19, 2013 at 9:26 am

I practice happiness every day. I never realized that practicing something so lovely could be so hard and I definitely relate to your adjectives in your blog – especially a hailstorm of negativity. As a result of practicing happiness it has become my go to space when stress comes flying out of no where. Because I use the tools that I learned in the School of Womanly Arts , practicing happiness has become a much pleasanter way of living and has unleashed powers and self love more than I ever dreamed.

I am not “golden retriever” happy and I am not happy all of the time but I practice happiness – pure unleashed and uncensored happiness and my life it better than it has ever been before. I am an unleashed Rockstar and I am rocking this world every day in wild abandonment and true happiness.

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mama gena November 19, 2013 at 2:29 pm

golden retriever happiness is for the dogs, rockstar…
:-)

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Simin Vaswani November 19, 2013 at 9:31 am

I feel like I am a 50-50 right now and I would love to be a 100 percent, the default state that you are talking about in this post.
Having said that I am getting better at it, when I feel stressed I do go for food but not as much as before. I am able to catch myself sooner and if I did go for food then I don’t beat myself up for it. What I will do once I have enough consciousness is to go on SisterGoddess.com and read other Sister Goddesses brags and trinities that help me elevate. I will then follow that up with a brag or trinity myself.
I also love Spring Cleaning, it is my favorite tool. I will schedule SC with Sister Goddesses to let that charge out so I can be back to my loving light.
So my go to tools are Sisterhood, Trinities and Spring Cleaning :)

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mama gena November 19, 2013 at 2:30 pm

the best tools on earth, simin!

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SG Bubble Butt Bombshell November 19, 2013 at 9:40 am

Spring cleaning and swamping are my two fav go-to’s when I start to feel the acid bath of cortisol creep in! They’re my secret weapons of self-hatred destruction
xo

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Alay'nya November 19, 2013 at 9:49 am

Once again, dear Mama, an absolutely beautiful and inspiring post.

You’ve been going deeper and reaching deeper and teaching deeper over these past couple of years – and I didn’t realize (until reading – was it last week’s post?) that you had gone through such a terrible lost in recent past – your “Rupture” experience.

You wrote, a few weeks ago, about

I knew that I had to respond.

But it took a while to pull my thoughts together.

My first response was to clean out my office – a deep clean. (It’s easier for me to feel juicy when my life and surroundings are beautiful and orderly.)

More processing, and more cleaning, and more doing tasks that “cleared out” debris and old lists of things-to-be-done.

Finally, last week, I wrote a post that substantively referenced yours.

Please go to: http://www.theunveilingjourney.com/2013/11/12/beyond-integration-the-next-big-life-journey/

The part that references your (Mama Gena’s) blog post is about half-ways through. It has a link to the specific blog that you wrote, the Oct. 22, 2013 one) as well as to your site overall.

We’re all in this together.

I love what you’re teaching and doing. As I say in my own blog post about you:
“Can I say that I absolutely love her blog? And her books? She has (metaphorically, through her books and blogging) held my hand through many a corporate crisis and low moment. ”

Let me say also – the teachers whom I respect the most are those who are not shy about sharing their own journey; they are always learning, and always uncovering areas within themselves that need work. So when a teacher shares some very difficult or painful times (and that is also true for those of you who are commenting here), that is actually even more of an inspiration.

Much love to all of you –

Alay’nya (Alianna J. Maren, Ph.D.)
Author, “Unveiling: The Inner Journey”

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mama gena November 19, 2013 at 2:34 pm

thank you, alay’nya. you are so right- we are ALL in this together.
xo
mg

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SG boxing babe November 19, 2013 at 9:55 am

When I’m having one those days where I wake up with the anxiety and mean self-talk lying on my chest, I throw my gloves in the car and go box. An hour after hitting the bag with everything I’ve got (and glancing over at the hot guy behind me a few times ;) ), I feel like I’m in charge again.

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SG Patty November 19, 2013 at 10:46 am

I think I have heard it takes about 66 days to create a “new” habit, so with that in mind, and knowing that pleasure is a discipline, my first action on waking up is to get down on the floor and hug my dog. She loves it, loves the belly scratching, is always overjoyed to see me and that starts my day just right, with perfect unconditional love. I drink something hot and then get ready for a walk in either the rain or the sun or the dark. All are beautiful.
In reaching for pleasure each day, I try and really make the effort, often with things that don’t cost money but require consciousness and time, like moving to another seat so that my view is better, making sure the inside of my car is clean and giving it a little spritz of lavender oil and water before I drive in it, upriding people who do a fantastic job like the guy who stacks oranges in the food store, the man who cleans my window at the gas station, just appreciating everyone who makes an effort. I will walk slower, sit straighter, eat slowly, drink lots of water, write letters (not e-mails), make gratitude lists, let the words I want to say come out, follow up with people I love, massage coconut oil into my skin every night, make the extra time to pick out my clothes and apply my make up. When it comes to money on self care, I will accept only the best and let whoever is helping me know that I expect their best and am looking forward to the relaxation during and the transformation after. It seems to lift them higher too when they know I am paying attention and expecting their best.
When negative thoughts come, I ask myself what would be better than this thought? I thank that thought but tell it that that’s enough for now. Also, DANCE BREAK! I just have to hear Katy Perry’s ROAR, and it takes me back to VPBC and Miami and instantly lifts me up.
I have responsibilities, I have MUSTS, so I do not roll around just eating chocolate all day, watching soaps, but I try and live consciously, enjoying every moment, and if there is something I can’t enjoy, I will try my best to identify why and see what I can change about it.

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mama gena November 19, 2013 at 2:36 pm

gorgeous, patty.
xo
r

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Eugenia November 19, 2013 at 10:51 am

I slow down, take a deep breath. I engage in surrender and let myself know that my timing is perfect and elegant and everything will work out in the end. I call to SC with a sister goddess. I take a break and go for a cup of coffee, read a book, go on boards, turn on good dance music. I also let my feelings run through me instead of stifling them…I believe that pleasure is letting myself be the way I am stressed, discontent and then I go for a time of relaxation and just making myself right, right in the moment…My life is filled with pleasurable activities, s-factor, OM community, family, poetry, playing piano..

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Fierce Grace November 19, 2013 at 11:36 am

Gratitude. It always works. Thanks Regena!

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Eugenia November 19, 2013 at 12:17 pm

That is true!

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Simone Butler November 19, 2013 at 11:58 am

I practice gratitude. Getting into a state of appreciation automatically turns on the pleasure hormones and relaxes me. When my boyfriend and I lie down to connect, we start by taking turns saying what we appreciate about each other. This opens our hearts and shifts us into a beautiful Tantric space from which magic flows. When I’m feeling down, I just remember this incredible loving connection, and all is well. :)

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Juicy Lucy November 19, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Hello Luscious Ladies!
Many aspects of my ‘Old Self’ used to be the start of my day; replaying nightmares of sexual violations, slinking out of bed so as not to be touched by my husband, grabbing the old, totally-out-of-date, way-too-yellow house coat that hid my body, checking emails before self care etc. Mental auto pilot included berating thoughts of: get it together, what a fake, just try harder, do more, just keep him happy, you can run but you can’t hide from the shame, blame and guilt. Enough!

My ‘New Self ‘ awakens to questions of: What is the greatest expression of myself I will be today? What personal pleasures will I intentionally be/do/have to invite in loving thoughts of greatness, of sensual femininity, of feeling wet between my legs for my own pleasure? How will I nurture by physical being-ness today including;
drinking water (slowly) to bath every cell of my being, jogging to vitalize , yoga for vitality, walking with a friend for shared companionship, sensing my breakfast choices ( green smoothies, vegie omlettes, etc) nourishing all the cells, energy and aura of my being, intentionally feeling the emotions that are inextricably linked with happy, fun-loving memories, meditating that encompasses living in the pleasure of my desires as if they have already happened. I bath my cells with the emotions that I choose to feel versus letting the default setting of the past run the show. I embrace a knowing-ness that I am drawing to me a new reality by living in the emotions and appreciation of that reality as if it has already happened.

Presently, I am revisiting my New Self to embrace a Newer Self, as I am challenged with pelvic floor issues that are unleashing a torrent of past sexual traumas/emotions. Thanks to the Goddess pelvic floor physiotherapist I am seeing, as she lovingly and patiently invites me to put words to the memories and shame-filled numbness that has ruled my pelvis and sensuality for way too long. My Newer Self is inspired to transform the energy of shame and guilt into sensual sensations and sexual pleasure that are my birthright. She suggested daily exercises and so I wrote a New Script. The word ‘exercises’ is now ‘Sensual Body Motions’. Emotions linked to past traumas are ‘Jet Fuel’ for sensual transformation . I also do MY Sensual Body Motions in the shower as I SLOWLY caress and slather every cell in my being with loving gentleness, kissing my fingers and placing those kisses on my clitoris, into my vagina to awaken pleasurable sensual sensations within. Every kiss embraces the past memories/emotions with gentleness, with loving kindness, with a deep aura of compassion and forgiveness that is now the cellular energy of my vessel, my chalice, my temple, of my ever evolving Newer Self. I envision and sense every one of the trillions of my cells as a siStarhood, as a chorus line of scantily clad, bold, audacious dancers, wiggling and jiggling, laughing and hugging and awakening the erotic within me to shine as the ME I share with the world.
Have an erotically, bliss-filled day!!!

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Dianna November 19, 2013 at 9:48 pm

Love that you shared all this, Lucy. I too was a victim of sexual violation, of molestation and brutal rape. Subsequently I went through a number of years filled with terrible pelvic pain, interstitial cystitis, pelvic floor dysfunction, endometriosis, vulvadynia, infertility, you name it. I know now that my vagina was screaming out in protest to the abhorant violations and crimes committed against it, and me. Psychologically the dysfunctions of what I believe now to be a woman’s power center did equally as much damage. Once I sought help via good counsel, along with pelvic floor therapy, I began to re-emerge..finally walking out from the shadows of pain and shame that became a way of life for me. I began to discover my value as a woman again. And this most intimate of parts that once caused so much physical distress resurfaced as a source of amazing pleasure and power. Ive taken up erotic belly dancing as a celebration and proclamation of my reclaimed sensuality, sexuality and as an expression of my inner Inanna that had long laid dormant in me but could never emerge. Such an amazing feeling to unleash her and let her take over for a while! That same supercharged feeling I’ve found also aids me in other areas of my life, (work, relationships) and I have come to realize what it means to reap the benefits of a “turned on life” . Thank you Juicy Lucy for inspiring me to share my story, and I hope by doing so it will spur many other women to do the same. As sister goddesses we all need to learn to live OUT LOUD in the fullness of the rich, life giving sensuality that has been bestowed at birth to each and every one of us.

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Juicy Lucy November 20, 2013 at 10:48 pm

Hi Dianna!
Thanks so much for sharing your journey from shame to an empowered, unleashed, “turned on life”. I am realizing that the numbness in my pelvis is not just from the surgery I had that includes meshing serving as a hammock for my bladder as well as holding up my vagina, but the physical numbness has kept a torrent of emotions residing in an unfeeling place.
As my Goddess physiotherapist lovingly puts her fingers inside my vagina and asks me to tell her where I feel her pressing, I realize the degree of numbness that I have lived with for 20 something years, not to mention the physical pain. She said that the part of the neo cortex of my brain that relates to my pelvis/vagina has ‘smudging’ causing a disconnect to ‘feel’ where she is pressing. Together we are re-wiring my brain to feel sensation in my pelvis and with that awakening of sensation I am feeling the emotions of the violations. To feel safe, to trust her, to put words to the past, to acknowledge the repressed emotions is liberating albeit emotionally exhausting.
Soooooooooo, I may just check out belly dancing classes as that may tap into some of my inner awkwardness that needs some lovin’ attention. Here’s to unleashing some sense of erotic motion/emotion.
Juicy Lucy

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Tara November 19, 2013 at 12:46 pm

I usually watch a favorite movie or fave tv show and go for a fave food and dancing in my underwear lol, hot tea helps and so does a long soak in the tub

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Jessie November 19, 2013 at 1:09 pm

What fantastic post today and inspiring comments! It still takes time to deal with negative thoughts everyday but the first thing that i do in the morning, as soon as those toxic thoughts come, is to thank for being alive and, love to listen to Firework by Katy Perry, sing and dance, letting my body goes with the flow even if it could looks totally ridiculous… … as Amy Poehler once said “No one looks stupid when they’re having fun.” :)

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Dr. Liliana Sacarin, Seductress, the Irresistible Pussy November 19, 2013 at 1:35 pm

Fantastic blog: Thank YOU, Regena Unleashed! Reaching up high, just like courtesans dis – it is what I am learning and practicing in my second Creation Course; every time self-deprecation shows up – and yess, it does – I remember that it is the perfect moment to call upon a tool, upon a goddess, upon community and reset myself. What a concept, instead of feeding my own self-defeat and the feeling of connection with others through misery , and yess, misery connects in our culture, I take myself higher – and so my cells, my health! The PRs are one of my favorite tools – they already change my orbit into the day! Rock on Regena and sisters!

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Astara November 19, 2013 at 1:48 pm

I am feeling so joyful and inspired by being in this sustained radiance conversation. I’ve taken Mastery twice. As for negative thoughts, have been practicing waking up each morning and choosing only joyful ones to get the momentum going for the day (thank you to SG Esther Hicks/Abraham).

Inspired by MG, Nia, and Dancemeditation, I created Dancing Gratitude to help me and others embody and live in a state of appreciation.

I relish sisterhood. I regularly practice having fun no matter what ( did a video laughing while cleaning the fridge), gratitude, dancing.

Living Unleashed and Radiant sparking and being sparked by Sister Goddesses on the planet- how does it get any better than this!
Huge Dancing Gratitude for Mama Gena, all her courage, choices, energy, love and enthusiasm to Light Our Divine Fire. Love You.
Mahalo to all SG’s generously sharing your Miami pleasure Vibe and Tools.

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Foxy November 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Love this! Of course! My favorite tool is the YES!!

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sloopyonnaharleedownHHPway November 19, 2013 at 5:50 pm

I default to my Pussy….no question. She leads, I surrender. The fabulously interesting thing is, the more often and more deeply I bathe in pleasure, the more…well….PAINFUL…..it becomes to linger in pain. Like Liz Gilbert of Eat Pray Love wrote: “abysmal old miseries you once endured out of habit will no longer be tolerated for even five minutes.” yup.
here’s to ya, Mama G!!! hittin it outta the park AGAIN!!!!!

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SG Catherine, Rock Star Goddess of Sex and Drums November 19, 2013 at 11:19 pm

I felt so great in Miami…my cells were bathed in nitric oxide. In fact, I was so happy that I looked at my travel reservation wrong and missed my plane on Monday morning. (I managed to get on a later flight. I kept hoping that maybe missing my plane had been a GPS inspired mistake, and that perhaps I would meet a really hot man to flirt with on one of my flights just like the lady in Mama’s book…but that didn’t happen…just delays in Chicago). And then I came back to my job, my psycho boss, being fired from my other job…and it’s been nothing but cortisol ever since. I have, however, had some epic dance breaks and spring cleaning sessions. I’ve also been on sistergoddess.com doing trinities. So why do I still feel like crap?!?!? ARRGHH…IS IT MARCH YET?!?!?!

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Deborah Smith November 20, 2013 at 1:05 am

Dear MG,
Toughest re-entry ever! Did get three days of yoga in a row-phew. And finally a short ride today.
As always your timing is perfect for me. It is so uplifting to read everyone’s ways of stopping the negative.
Sometimes I forget that this is a difficult discipline. Thank you so much for the reminder!!!

xxx

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Goddess from Oz November 20, 2013 at 3:18 am

Thanks SG’s. My main problem is dealing with the negativity thrown at me by others, not myself, often it is in jest but designed to bring me down. I know I shouldn’t relinquish my power and cave to this influence but some days I found this extremely hard..any thoughts? Ideas? Anyone experiencing this in their lives…thanks for all your personal stories SG’s
Much Love xxx

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Goddess Leslie November 20, 2013 at 3:25 pm

Yes, yes yes! I have lived with 2 friends for the past year with negative, toxic thoughts and constant “funny” put downs. I worked against this by constantly up-riding them, which worked for awhile, and keeping a low profile, hiding my light. ENOUGH.

I made the decision to move out and I have a new place starting Dec. 1st. It is the perfect place to be me, own my unique and positive mind!!

Goddess, haters gonna hate. Sometimes the shine from a goddess is too much. Follow your bliss and don’t let the casual barbs of others sink you.

xxx

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Jessie December 3, 2013 at 1:03 pm

Goddess from OZ being focus on my desires is my shield against that negativity… i hear them talking like that but it doesn´t really have power over me.

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Deborah November 20, 2013 at 9:12 am

This hits home. No wonder I am so tired. I have been beating myself up in my sleep. The sadness permeates and I don’t know where it came from. Now is the time to realize it is ALL About Me. As I learned long ago and often forget is you have to steer your own boat. Might as well do it with pleasure and joy.

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RedChilli November 20, 2013 at 9:31 am

So Yes to your blog and so spot on! I was so in the swamp before Miami and after I am blissed and back being myself, taking action and moving forward with so much more joy. And yes it takes so much discipline to reach for the pleasure! I need to be a pleasure queen in this culture to claim my pleasure. The only thing that really matters is my happiness. It changes everything how healthy I am, how my relations are …
I do, step by step and it feels so much better! After having lost my health because of to much cortisol torture for my cells three years ago, I so feel the difference and literally how my life depends on my happiness. It does! I was so burnt out that I couldn´t walk stairs, my body was not able to heal tiny scratches in 6 weeks. And I was crying all day. It took me 1.5 years to nurse me back to health with redirecting my life to what I desire. Today I am a way different woman practicing every day the art of choosing pleasure. Now I have moments of ecstacy flooding my body coming out of nowhere. I desire this to become my main experience in life and I desire all humans to tap into this delicious capacity to embody pleasure and flood every cell with joy.
Thank you for your wonderful and fierce standing up for pleasure!

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Leslie November 20, 2013 at 12:40 pm

More and more I understand that pleasure comes from within. I used to think of it like “treats! adventures!” but now I feel that it emanates from affinity, delight, love, inspiration, calm, still joy. I can draw on pleasure any time by surrenduring to the inner “mmmmm…”

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Roberta November 20, 2013 at 12:59 pm

Yes, I am getting pleasure today listening to Joan Osborne’s recording of I’ll Be Around and thinking of my lovers. It’s rather an easy thing to do. Hugz+ ><

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Roberta November 20, 2013 at 12:58 pm

Who ever said chocolate ain’t pleasure+++ It’s all in how you eat it! Hugz <3

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Lola November 21, 2013 at 9:27 pm

Every night before falling asleep, the last fifteen minutes of the evening is spent basking in all the good in your life. Anything good: the smile to your neighbor, picking up litter, laughing at someone’s corny joke, the delicious bread at your favorite bakery, the letter you received or sent, saying no because yes was not an option, saying yes because no was not an option, any good, wonderful, loving, honorable, cherished moment that day is to be the last thoughts before dropping off to sleep.

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patty November 23, 2013 at 6:45 am

When stress seeps through I do my yoga breathing!
Inhale Calmness/Exhale Stress
Inhale Positive/Exhale Negative
Let go and Let God
Positive affirmations: “I am in an up positive mood” “I can succeed” “Today is going to be a good day” “life is good”

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Jennie December 8, 2013 at 8:19 am

Please help me. Every minute of my life hurts. Especially now. I moved to an apartment so I could have a quiet space…..and it is so noisey that I can’t sleep, haven’t slept through the night once since I moved in 2 months ago. And last night the girl beside me had her friends over and they were so loud….I knocked and asked them to be quiet and one of them came out and said, “Look, my girlfriend is going through a hard time right now, a divorce, and we are just trying to help her have a good time.”

She basically said, “Look, I don’t care if you can’t sleep, my friend is more important than you.”

I understand that break ups are hard and that having good friends are helpful. But I am livid, really fucking pissed off by how this woman spoke to me.

She just assumed that her friend’s reality was more important than mine. And she has no fucking clue and she didn’t ask.

I moved to find quiet because I have PTSD, from being raped. And I have anorexia nervosa and am trying to recover from this. And I just found out my mom has brain cancer. So I am also going through a difficult time and guess what? No one is coming over to my apartment to help me because my friends live hundreds of miles away.

And this woman didn’t even ask. She just assumed that I have nothing going on in my life and that one sleepless night is fine for me.

I just have no kindness in my heart right now.

I have no pleasure in my life.

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sloopyonnaharleeontheHHP December 19, 2013 at 5:21 pm

asap…get some support where you live, not just online. find a women’s center or a nearby hospital where you can get some counseling, someone there with you to talk to who will really listen and even hold you. you can still have a lot of pleasure in your life if you REACH for it- it will not come to you…you must reach out for it, however weakly you may do so….go to a cafe, sit in a quiet library and read, go to a museum, a movie, take yourself out to dinner, buy yourself some earplugs and the best headphones you can afford and make sure you only hear what you want to hear when you are at home…..fill your space with scented candles and beautiful posters and a luscious bedcover, watch comedies on your laptop, put your favorite music on repeat…. have a glass of your favorite beverage, get a massage as often as possible…(when I had no money, I went to the mall and sat in a shiatsu massage chair in the Sharper Image/Brookstone store!) ok, you get it. the thing is, when you feel awful, its hard to reach for pleasure. but it can and must be done if you are to move through this time in your life. take microscopically tiny steps toward pleasures and then larger and larger ones until it becomes unthinkable NOT to have pleasure in your life! trust me, it can be done. take a minor, nearly invisible step. just don’t go the booze/drugs route- you will only feel worse, and nothing will improve. and reach out to your friends often; perhaps some of them can visit or help you visit them. if they care at all, they will send you a ticket and be waiting to hold and love you. if nothing else, you can stay in touch via skype and email and phone. let them support you. sending love

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