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What’s Better than a Resolution?

Regena New YearHey sisters,

I have a confession.
The word “resolution” makes me want to gag.
And punch something.

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing about a New Year’s Resolution that inspires me.
Resolutions are so…resolved.  They are over before you begin.  They are virtually unattainable. And even if and when you get to one, no one is there, throwing a party for you.
And if you really wanted whatever you decided to get all resolvatory about, you wouldn’t have to make a resolution to be that way anyway.
It would have happened already.
And have you noticed? You put the same resolutions on the list every year? And they keep not coming true?

It is because when something is a resolution, we think we are inadequate or wrong if we don’t have it already.
Which grinds our progress to a halt.
And stops our resolutions in their tracks.

I am inspired by something else.
I am inspired by resolution’s sexy, hot, compelling cousin.
Her name is desire.

A desire is the interface between you, and that which is greater than you.
A desire beckons you forward into a yet unknown destination, which requires you to step into a new iteration of yourself, called the woman you were born to become.
So, if you have a desire, let’s say, for a new job…
You don’t just want a different office, or a new boss in your life.
You want to become the woman who is designing her career trajectory (rather than taking someone else’s ride), so her work challenges her creatively, compensates her handsomely, and allows her the time and space to live all of her passions and commitments, which will take everyone in her world higher.
So much better than a resolution, right?
And a desire is so cool, because you do not have to wait for it to come true before you enjoy it. In fact, the more you enjoy the thought of it–right here, and right now–the more you draw it towards you.

So I want to invite you to throw out your New Year’s Resolution List, and put something new and wonderful and deliciously inspiring in its place:
A Desire List.
I want you to create a new, fresh Desire List every New Year’s Eve.
I am a big believer in creating personal rituals that refresh and renew you. Consider throwing yourself a little Desire List Party every New Year’s Eve.

Here are some basic instructions:

1. Set up a gorgeous space. Make it pleasurable: light candles, use a lovely pen, write on beautiful paper. It has to be a pussified atmosphere.
2. Don’t worry if you don’t know what your desires are ahead of time. Simply start with something small–something you know you love–and write it down. The rest will follow.
3. You can’t make a desire list when you are angry or cranky.  Handle what’s bothering you, take a long hot bath, and resume when you are sane again. Enjoyment is creation.
4. Include small things and impossible dreams.  You do not have to worry about the “how”–there is no force on earth more powerful than a woman’s desire.
5. Your desires may scare you. That is perfectly normal. No desire is too big for you. That is why it is yours. You will always get what you want, or something better.

If you’d like to presence the magic of desire in your life right now, in the comments below, tell me one of your old, worn out New Year’s Resolutions that you are ready to rid yourself of. And then tell me one delicious, new desire you’d like to put in its place.

And if you want to go even deeper into this conversation, come to my Intro night in NYC on February 9, 2012, where you can meet me, live, and I will give you The Radical Step That Changes Everything!

With so much love and pleasure,

Mama Gena

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20 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • Nelda January 2, 2012, 12:54 pm

    I always say that I will do things I’m already doing, so now I desire to meet you at one of the many places you show up, catching up on your blog about your travels always makes me want to be there! Thank you for the inspiration, Mama Gena!
    Welcome to San Antonio,TX in April, Michelle Medina!
    Your Sister Goddess in SA,

  • erika December 30, 2011, 3:04 pm

    Old stuff? Having perfect legs!!! OMG! Uninspiring! The juicy stuff would be; I want to feel free inside and fearless… I dont know HOW but I long for that…. and horseback riding!

  • Rachel Northrup December 30, 2011, 12:54 pm

    Mama I love it!!! Yes to desires and Oceana I really love your reframe on body desires gorgeous!!!
    I brag I shared the SWA w a goddess last night and she sparkled and giggled! Old resolution find my career path new one is to live unbound playfully loving up my adventures I’m bartending, rocking my genius ad a fitness instructor, daring to courageous bring Qoya to my hometown goddesses and sucking fabulous and fun organizing clients today the illuminating instance is magic*
    I desire to go to a sister goddess reunion in 2012 and party w my sisters
    Radically unbound business
    SG Rachel

  • SG Katrina December 30, 2011, 6:55 am

    I desire to go to Los Angeles
    I desire to find my life purpose
    I desire to live a healthy life
    I desire to make my kids strong and happy
    I desire to smile and shine every day
    I desire to sleep well
    I desire to find more love in this world
    I desire to sparkle wherever I go
    I desire to find fun and joy in every situation

    Love SG Katrina

  • Michelle Medina December 29, 2011, 6:49 pm

    Delicious Desires SG Lali!!!
    As for me. . . I Desire to get to San Antonio TX by April!!!!

  • Alia aka hot n' luscious lali December 29, 2011, 6:00 pm


    I desire the kind of body I LUST FOR.
    I desire to eat fresh, whole, delicious HEALTHY foods.
    I desire to fill my days with incredibly fun activities that keep my body moving and pushing itself!
    I desire lots and lots of dance!
    I desire LEAN-ness!
    I desire kettlebells and kickboxing.
    I desire the most unstoppable body!
    I desire aerial silk acrobatics!!!!

  • MAB December 29, 2011, 4:20 pm

    Old Resolution: Lose weight (mind you, I stopped resolutions about 3 years ago – I hate ’em and have the same mind set – if I really want something, I’ll work for it NOW, not wait for new year’s to come around to do it).

    Desire: To complete a full marathon (I enjoy running. Will be doing my 3rd half marathon in January. Want to upgrade to the full!), take two vacations (must leave country), and to enjoy wearing a pair of Louboutin heels as I walk across the stage and receive my bachelors degree in December 2012 (how i’m getting those shoes, who knows! But my desire will make it happen!!!).

  • Oceana December 29, 2011, 12:59 pm

    And old resolution? To diet, lose weight, and exercise regularly. YUCK , ACK, PHOOEY. Hate even the sound of it.
    My new desire? To BE thrilled and delighted, titillated and aroused in my body AS IS…and to love up this body of mine while enjoying dancing more, hiking in gorgeous places, swimming in tropical oceans, and serenetizing myself right out in new and pleasurable yoga poses!

    thank you for your fabulous blogs that inspire and delight me!

  • Susan Rush December 29, 2011, 1:54 pm

    Mama, I love it … this is exactly what all the Law of Attraction teachers say. You rock, Mama!

    If you put your intentions on something you don’t want, which is what resolutions largely consist of, you will attract that which you don’t want. Abraham (of Jerry and Esther Hicks) says that you must feel the feeling of your desires to make it manifest. Again, you said this too but a bit differently. We must harness the power of intention thru feeling what it’s already like prior to manifesting.

    I jokingly say when people ask about my resolutions that I want to gain weight, exercise less, smoke more, drink more, etc. It always makes me chuckle because I’ve given up on the notion of making resolutions long ago as it’s insidious. Like you said, but in different words, why keep doing the same thing and expecting different results? That’s the definition of insanity, as far as I’m concerned.

  • Dina-Marie Stager December 29, 2011, 12:39 pm

    I realized earlier this year that I keep SAYING that I want to make more money, but then I took a look at my actions and I’m not DOING what it takes to get there. I decided to take the “want” off my list and instead take charge of my life.

    You see, for many years (my entire adult life) I have had many interests and I have jumped from job to job looking for my passion (or to make someone else proud of me). I can’t choose just one thing that I want to do for the rest of my life. Work in an office? Do something creative? Crunch numbers? Film/edit something? Cook for others? Stand on my feet all day long selling things for others just to have insurance? Bleh.

    Now I’m looking at my life and it is really beginning to unfold very beautifully, but up until now I though it was only full of imperfections, like a bunch of puzzle pieces just randomly in a pile. For my birthday, I enrolled in a health coach training course. I’ve always had this love of food and over the past few years I have developed a passion for health and nutrition. I thought at the time that this was just another “thing” I was trying out, or that others would view it this way at the very least. I had no idea that when I signed up for this course that I would ultimately figure out how to put all of the “puzzle pieces” together. I am also enrolling in Yoga Teacher Training in 2012. I see now how they are fitting together and the beautiful picture I have to look forward to once these few remaining pieces are completed.

    My desire is to have a baby. The motivation is knowing that I may be raising a child on my own. But keep in mind that the following is all about the “training” I’ve had in the past, the present, and the future. And I’m passionate about all of these things. That being said…..

    I have realized that I can have my own health coaching business that I run out of my yoga studio. I can teach others how to cook a variety of healthy meals by using the fresh organic fruits and vegetables from my garden. My yoga studio will have a demo kitchen, a retail area and a meditation room. I will also be able to create instructional dvds and promote my business with videos that I create and edit. I will have a space to hold workshops and lectures. I have the skills to also run an office and keep up with the books. I realize that I cannot do all of this alone and will need a staff to support me.

    I have new desires and nothing is standing in my way! 6 months in and going strong! (I even have support from my family. NICE!!!)

    Thank you for the SWA and your blogs and everything you do for us, especially the Daily Fluff!

  • laurie cooke December 29, 2011, 1:37 pm

    thank you oceana. i agree. so my new desires are swa with mama gena and sister goddess and myself this year. absolute prosperity. laughing out loud a lot and so much dancing and lirting and joy. to have brand new experiences on a whole new level of love and partn ership with my body as my best friend and knowing the universe is in total support of me me and my desires. ahhh desires, just the word alone…. its like chocolate in me…. tastes good feels good. makes me happy,

  • Kerrie Blazek December 29, 2011, 11:45 am

    Dear Mama — love the idea of the Desire List, but must admit — my 2011 resolution lead me to the SWA!

    You see, I started reading your book on NYE, wrote my womantra, then made only one resolution: Have Fun Everyday! This fierce commitment to fun changed my life.

    Thank you so much for creating the SWA. I love and adore you — and now, I love and adore myself, too!

    With oodles of love and gratitude,
    SG Kerrie

  • Nancy Tierney December 29, 2011, 12:35 pm

    I’m going to disagree with you here. While it is so important and luscious and fun and inspiring to make a desire list, it’s only the first step of creation. If you really want to manifest those desires, you need to DO something. And more often than not, change something. This is why people don’t like resolutions. They require resolve.

    But, as I wrote about in a recent blog post, I do think we need a new, upgraded approach to making resolutions. Rather than always making resolutions that require sacrifice, struggle and deprivation, we need to resolve to do something we really, really want to do.

    What have you been wanting to do that you haven’t let yourself do?
    What dream or goal excites you, inspires you or calls to you?
    What are you NOT doing that you know would feed your soul, your creativity or your wildest dreams if you just said, “Yes, I’m doing it now!”

    Don’t just desire it. Do it. Honor your desire with consistent, aligned action.

    Oh, and if you want to read that blog post, it’s here:

  • SG Lovely Rita B December 29, 2011, 11:58 am

    Desires are WAY better than resolutions!
    Desires sound and feel yummier. Delicious. Even dare-devil-ee!
    I desire pleasure. I desire to start each day with pleasure-think it, eat it, feel it.
    I desire to retire my inner critic! I may throw her a retirement party, and THEN write my NEW improved desire list!
    See you all in February!
    SG Lovely Rita

  • SG Kat December 29, 2011, 11:36 am

    Genius as always.
    Enjoyment is creation.
    Cheers to the unresolved! It’s the coolest part of music, rhythm, and life!!!