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What to do when you’ve blown it

Darling,

Who among us has not reached for it with heart, soul, blood, and guts, and ended up trounced, trammeled, and shattered?
In this week’s Ask Mama, we meet Sister Goddess Judi on life’s ledge, that special spot reserved for women who give their all, lunge towards their dreams, rush into the unknown with abandon, trust their deepest soul’s yearnings, and shatter into a million pieces.

Dear Mama,
I did a lot of work around pleasure and trusted my pussy to change my life. I made huge leaps, but ultimately my doubts and inexperience in asking for what I want resulted in bitter failure and I feel like I am plummeting to my death in a crashing airplane. Have you had much experience messing it all up? How do I get through feeling like I lost the best stuff I could have had and there is no second chance, because I blew it?
Judi

Dear Sister Goddess Judi,

First of all, before I begin, I want to give you a standing ovation.
Any woman who has chosen to adopt the discipline of pleasure, and trust her pussy, instantly becomes the star, the heroine, of her own life’s story.  She is no longer being dragged along tracks created by others, she is no longer giving in to cultural conditioning and living the design of what others expect of her.  She has cut loose from the pack and is charting her own course, and living the legend she was born to become.  Just reading your Q was completely enlivening and inspiring, and I am deeply thrilled for you.
Why?

As my Dad used to say, “This is livin’, kid!”
Women who never chose themselves, who never risk living their own desires, who never trust their own pussies—never feel the way you do.
They settle into the ho-hum-mundane business of a life of compromise and mediocrity, living under the radar, never reaching for the gold, and never finding any.
But when you poke your head out of the sand, and choose to figure out how to fly, guess what happens?  You crash sometimes.  And the higher you fly, the harder you fall.
When a woman risks living the legend of her desires, she is living large, instead of small.  Why?  Because living your pussy truth is not just about you anymore.  A desire is the interface between you and that which is greater than you.  Living your pussy truth is asking to be remade by your own destiny.  It is offering yourself up to be recreated into the woman you were born to become.  Your desires carve you into the work of art you were meant to become, just like Michelangelo found ‘David’ inside a hunk of marble.

So, when you feel like you are plummeting to your death, you are.  The raw hunk of marble is getting chiseled away, and you are being remade—into a living, breathing work of art co-created by you, and the Great Pussy in the Sky.  Does it feel good?  Hell no.
But, “this is livin’, kid.”
And will you get another chance to fly even higher?
Count on it.
You get endless second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth chances.
In fact, for a woman who is living as full out as you, chances will come land in your lap, as long as you keep taking those beautiful steps in the direction of your dreams and desires.

In the School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program, we go deep inside the architecture of this incredible opportunity that you are describing, called “The Courtesan’s Journey.” (More on this in my blog, “A Peek Inside Mastery”.) Once understood, this architecture makes all the difference in the world, because then you know where you are, on the journey. It’s designed to give a woman everything she needs to know to live her most outrageous dreams and desires, and you can begin doing that right now, Judi, by posting a brag below and outrageously celebrating your biggest blunders. Every chapter of your story deserves to be commemorated. The world requires the fuel of each of our dreams, to survive, and to reinvent, as we do. (Check out the Mastery program for the full arsenal of tools and technology.)

Deep down inside, every woman wants to live the legend she was born to become.
You are doing it.
This is what it feels like.
No guts, no glory.

Sisters, tell me in the comments below about a time you took a step toward your dreams that resulted in superb failure. What Womanly Arts and Tools did you reach for, to bounce back with even more vivacity? Show Judi how a Sister Goddess locates the victory inside every pitfall.

And if you know someone who’s taken a risk toward her desires and could use some applause, please share this post.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. If you or any of your girlfriends live in the MA area, join me in Springfield this Thursday for the ultimate girls’ night out…

photo: lizlinder.com

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51 Comments / Leave a Comment

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  • K July 4, 2014, 7:47 pm

    Tracey Jewel has ripped off your post in her latest blog: http://traceyjewel.com

    Just thought you might like to know.

  • tasha October 26, 2012, 2:32 pm

    Dear SG Judi
    I am still here and I am so grateful to you for your kind message!
    All you are saying I will try to do
    I am so exhausted from feeling unworthy mother/wife – but this is what I was very proud to do for so many years: to be good mother and good wife
    Now, without my husband and with my upset daughter next to me, all my life looks like a waste
    just by chance last night I came across good song, and it suddenly took me for surprise, how much my world is different from the world of others around
    I was not listening even to good music for ages by now
    I don’t have even haircut
    I am walking unhappiness and doom
    Just endless bitter conversations pointed at me
    I just realised, that since my husband left us (and he used to say he loves me quite often) – I didn’t hear any good word said to me….
    So now even my failed man looks like a wonderful kind person
    m.b. this is what I should remember now – that although he was cruel to us after he met ‘his girl of his dreams’, he did a lot of good to me: those words of love…
    Without them I can see, how harsh life can be…….
    They protect a woman and a person in us…
    I am so blessed now to come here and to find such kind and understanding women
    I am really blessed!

    THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

  • SG Judi October 25, 2012, 9:53 pm

    Dear SG Tasha;
    I empathize with the deep emotions you have right now but know that things can and do get better. And I would like to suggest that you dive off the deep end into to some radical self care for the next 72 hours. Put your oxygen mask before you try to fix anything or anyone. Take a long shower or an Epsom salts bath. Buy yourself some flowers, eat and drink some of your favorites. Do some of the things that recharge your battery and ground you. Practice Gratitude for the good in your life because there always is good if you look for it. Be kind and gentle to you. Let your heart lead you out of this and into the next step for you in reclaiming yourself as the Sister Goddess that you are.
    Sending you love and blessings,
    SG Judi

  • tasha October 24, 2012, 4:36 pm

    I am really failed dawn
    I feel sooooooo dawn
    This is about my daughter complaining that I was very bad mother for her….
    She is 27 and keep saying that her childhood, because I used to punish her for ‘everything’ she said, is still affecting her life
    And after my husband of 20 years left us for very young woman (age of my daughter) – I am facing this now on my own, I can’t answer all her questions now, and she disappeared for a few days and was found in very distressed state of mind..
    so sad so sad
    I don’t know what to do…
    this is such a tragedy……..
    she blames me for so many things during our family life (including not dressed fashionably..)
    I am saying, please forgive me, but it seems like this is impossible…
    I don’t want to live anymore……..

  • Regina Grande October 23, 2012, 7:02 pm

    Oh, Lord, yes!!!!!

    I am lying naked out on my friend (read “Intimate”) Kurt’s front deck,
    eating dark chocolate and recovering from a near-fatal motorcycle crash.
    Heading to work on Sept. 18th, a car came head-on into my lane, passing in a no- passing zone. I was conscious through the whole thing, fracturing my left femur and losing a lot of muscle tissue in the process.
    I’m a scrapper- 4 surgeries & 2 blood transfusions later, I’m out here in my Beloved Desert again, healing rapidly and going off road on my crutches.
    What have I taken away?
    The addition of stone-solid Sister Goddess Girlfriends I never knew I had.
    The newfound ability to be vulnerable and ask for help. The return of a magnificent man into my life and the faith to take it day by day with him and not predict outcomes.
    And this-
    YES!
    I am going to ride again! I actually saved my own Life with
    my riding ability.
    Yes,I have screaming moments in The Pit Of Despair
    when I think I have blown my life to Hell.
    But I haven’t!j
    I am livin’, Kid!
    Thank you for the stage to share this on.
    Love,
    Regina Grande,
    Queen Of The Desert

  • Deborah Smith October 19, 2012, 4:04 pm

    WHOA & WOW!

    This entire blog and responses has been SO amazing.

    I brag that I “got it” the other night that I missed an incredible opportunity to raise my relationship with my father to the level I wanted simply because I forgot the power of my mind and heart when I get clear about how to request what I want and his amazing ability to hear and “get” what I would ask.

    I brag that I also blew it on a recent chance to head an amazing non-profit, because I a) took my eye off the ball and b) forgot to give/share my vision of the company to everyone before I handed them my Resume and proposal.

    I am SO grateful to all the women: Judi, Lola, Ophelia, SG Glitzy Cougar Kare, Fiona . . . for going for the gold and sharing their crashes here with me. I stopped acting on my passion several years ago cuz I hated the crashes. I did what I called “banked my fires.” I get it that that is probably not in my, or anyone else’s, best interest and I am so grateful for being shown that by example here.

    I am so grateful to Mama Gena for all of this education. This was exactly what I needed to read this week.

    I desire to ever more bravely move into and grow into my true destiny.

    xxxx
    SG Deb

  • nathalie October 19, 2012, 11:48 am

    All of this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite role models (in addition to Mama Gena of course), Martha Beck – author of Follow your own North Star:

    “Pursue your dreams not because you’re immune to heartbreak but because your real life, your whole life, is worth getting your heart broken a few thousand times.”

  • Suzi Banks Baum October 18, 2012, 11:29 am

    Hmmm….how have I flopped? Let me count the ways. I feel like you were reading my journal as I read your post: “They settle into the ho-hum-mundane business of a life of compromise and mediocrity, living under the radar, never reaching for the gold, and never finding any.” That was me.
    I flopped by letting a situation with a family member beleaguer me for over ten years. I self-flagellated about things that were just not my business. I let this flop color so many of my other relationships because I only saw myself through the lense of this difficult relationship. I have come to learn that person’s choices are hers and I can allow and honor those with dignity. And make my own choices. Today, I reach for gold in every relationship that feels like there is depth and breadth there. I have learned to celebrate each person in my life as a teacher. I can take the lessons and move on, or stay stuck in a desk too small for my growing body and insist on learning from a relationship that is long over. What a relief this is to me.
    Thanks for this post. Judi? I cannot wait to hear your brags this week. I send you all my love and courage for outing yourself with MamaGena.
    With love, Suzi

    • SG Judi October 18, 2012, 1:59 pm

      Dear Suzi;
      Thank you for sharing your brilliant insights into your process.
      I’m deeply touched by your passion and compassion.
      Thank you so much!
      xo,
      Judi

  • laurie October 17, 2012, 11:22 pm

    dearest mama Gena and beautiful sister goddesses….thank you all so much…, because you shared so from the heart, i am inspired to go on, go higher and to jump off more cliffs knowing the GPS is catching all of us as we play…in deep gratitude to all of you…xoxo

  • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR October 17, 2012, 10:05 pm

    SG Judi

    Love your experience and your Q, and love m.g’s response
    I am slowly beginning to LOVE my ruptures as they always lead to EVENTUAL rapture.
    I am starting TO KNOW that I can’t shine brightly without my great and rich darkness.
    I am starting to view myself as the weather that I’ve always loved………sun / rain / calm / hurricane / storms/ calm / wind….. I am all these things… I am like the nature that I love
    I would not of even known/heard about mama gena’s or signed up for mastery last year if I hadn’t had a huge rupture with my eye sight and letting go of my music partner/great lover (most everything else about him sucked……..HA!)
    I would not have been on this amazing journey if it were not for the these ruptures
    I would not be focusing on desires and gratitudes and………
    I would NEVER have slowly felt part of a sister community which is a desire I always had……to have community and to have “better sisters” than my older “menacing” sister
    I would not be beginning to live from the I AM position, meaning I am happy, I am sad, I am joyful, etc…. in the NOW. I always felt I had to be the “good girl.” It was so limiting on so many levels, but those were the messages from childhood……
    Now, I have the choice to recreate my life and am doing it….. slowly getting rid of the limiting and brutal message of the GOOD GIRL/BAD GIRL dynamic. It’s a lose/lose situation.
    Anyway, I can’t wait to hear you rapture as I know you will
    What a thrilling journey, and as m.g. says…….you’re simply chiseling away at what doesn’t work
    Mama Gena’s SWA has contributed to my DAILY EXCITEMENT about LIVING~

    • SG Judi October 18, 2012, 2:03 pm

      Ahhh yes rapture! I am wallowing in my desire for it!
      Will keep you posted 🙂
      Thank you dear heart!
      SG Judi

    • SG Judi October 18, 2012, 2:27 pm

      Dear SG Warrior
      Ps. Thank you for reminding of that powerful place of darkness.I have learned to appreciate it as the womb where my desire is nurtured in the soft ,safe , darkness of the void where all creation comes from. When I reframe that place of darkness as the space that is nurturing and holding all of the life force of what is next for me, I know that my dream, prayer, longing, and wanting will come out the birth canal and into the light as surely as the sun will rise.

  • SG Judi October 17, 2012, 9:04 pm

    Dear Mama G;
    Thank you so much! I feel like you pinned a badge of honor on me and removed my cloak of shame.
    I can’t express how deeply moved I was to hear that you were inspired by my Q. Wow.
    Thank you for honoring my place, for voicing respect for this journey and encouraging me to dig deeper! Thank you for acknowledging my courage for being a heroine in my own life, and giving my all by living the truth of my pussy to become one with my destiny. Thank you for appreciating my choice to create a life through aligning my purpose with that sacred power which begins by choosing pleasure.
    My pussy truth won me a millionaire prize and took me on the wildest ride of my life. One that would have afforded me anything I wanted. It opened up new avenues of thought that healed my soul. Looking back I would have done things differently, I would have simply asked for what I wanted by virtue of satisfying my desires. Whatever that turned out to look like. Anything less, just ain’t livin 🙂
    I want to thank all the sister goddesses for their support and for sharing their stories.
    Much love.

  • Bernadette October 16, 2012, 2:59 pm

    Such richness and brilliance here. Thanks Regena!
    I miss you!!!

  • SG Sherrie Huckelberry October 16, 2012, 2:36 pm

    What inspiration all you vibrant , adventurous , juicy goddesses are …. Part of learning how to walk is birthing, crawling, falling,walking,n falling again . Oh the glory of the humane spirit never fails to surprise me . Lol to all

  • Cynthia K October 16, 2012, 1:57 pm

    ladies, mama,
    thanks for the post and the comments, so much beauty and support here! Over a year now of wanting a child with my younger boyfriend, we try. Good news, I’m fertile. Bad news, we lost twins. Jacked hormones and emotions pushed a hard talk last night, and I now feel the need to focus on even deeper desires. Thank you all!

  • Tara Dixon October 16, 2012, 1:23 pm

    Beautiful Q. Beautiful A.
    Thank you for posting this Regena.
    I experienced my own “crash and burn” moment on Sunday. I had the painful conversation on the phone with our accountant going over the losses of my business with a fine tooth comb, preparing our back taxes for the October 15th deadline. I was embarrassed by my own disorganization and flightiness in operating this business venture. The fact that we had “lost” thousands and thousands of dollars and having to face my negligence felt like torment. I carried on in this manner for several minutes….the guilt…the shame….the self blame…and flagellation (you know how good I am at this…lol)…even shouldering feeling like a “failure” when my son came into the room seeing me crying on the phone.
    Thankfully I have years invested in your training, tools, arts and wisdom.
    This torment that could have gone on for years was over in minutes.
    The lessons learned were exposed and absorbed.
    Further healing and transformation always takes place in this community.
    I am aware that even posting this comment here publicly…outting myself, ripping off the veil, being willing to show my true colors and know that thousands of women are here to love me where I’m at is part of my courtesan’s journey.
    with much love and gratitude-
    Tara

  • Georgette October 16, 2012, 12:34 pm

    Hey Mama! Thank you for this great reminder. I remember Mastery Weekend 3 flying into NY and feeling devastated that I had just blown it with great guy. How could I be realigning my life and fail so spectacularly? Thank God I failed so hard, so fast, while in the deep pleasure trenches with my sisters and Mama G by my side. Of course after learning to Yes the situation and chart my courtesan’s journey I got back with my guy and took us both higher. (We just had our 2 year anniversary!) Thank you for teaching me how to fail so brilliantly! Xoxo

  • SG Carolyne October 16, 2012, 11:07 am

    Oh Sisters,
    The timing on this post is so perfect and elegant. I’ve fallen into the swamp recently concerning my move to CA. I sold my home in CO and moved to CA, following my deep desire to live near the ocean. I am so NOT feeling like I made the right decision on coming here and am thinking I will either return to CO or move elsewhere. Yes, I live near the ocean but the rest of my life here is not what I desired it to be. Reading all of your posts has inspired me to look deeper at my desires and trust my pussy in knowing what to do next.
    Thanks to all of you and Mama herself, for reminding me of my greatness, intelligence and ability to trust myself and dig deeper to fulfill my desires.

    • regena October 16, 2012, 11:52 am

      what a gorgeous outpouring of inspiration! and it isn’t even noon, yet!! thank you. i am so grateful! and look forward to more…

  • Bets at GloWoman October 16, 2012, 10:51 am

    I know exactly how Judi feels – having taken a big leap towards my dreams, and landed face down in the dirt 🙂 More than once!
    But one thing’s for sure – I ain’t staying down!
    I’m still lifting myself UP 🙂 And sharing my story to inspire others along the way 🙂
    The best way to UPlift YourSelf is to stay tuned to your JOY. To Rock your Attitude of GRATITUDE and to do the things that put a SMILE in your soul 🙂
    Whatever you’re up to – have FUN while you’re getting it done. When we lighten up, We Get our GLOW On! 🙂
    Thank You Mama Gena for Rocking your GLOW and lighting up our world 🙂
    With Love and Gratitude,
    Bets

  • Lolita October 16, 2012, 10:17 am

    So grateful for the women who share. I want to commend Judi for taking the opportunity to live. In our society so often we just exist. Taking chances is not easy. The failures hurt. But OMG when success happens it is the most amazing feeling. That is right FEELING! Being numb and nonresponsive is not living.
    I went from a marriage of disrespect to an engagement with a wealthy man. I found that I still didn’t have respect for living my life to the fullest. No joy, no feelings of desire. I left and went home to a job I love. I centered my life around that joy. I said my gratitudes every day for what my life had brought me. Now years later I have found a person that respect and appreciates what brings me joy. He is home. He makes me want to be a better person. I am so grateful for him but more importantly I am grateful to myself for believing that what brings me joy is important.

  • Hedonia October 16, 2012, 9:38 am

    Judi~

    “…I feel like I am plummeting to my death in a crashing airplane.” A-h-h-h-h… that’s only because you are not familiar with what huge, momentous, crazy, all-out, freakin’ amazing success feels like! You are too busy judging what you think are your failures to see how you are succeeding! Stop – breathe – breathe some more – keep breathing – a little longer…. It is when you connect with the Divine within you that you can see the success, but you must connect first. Thus, the Pleasure Revolution.

    I have this thing I do. You missed all the planning and prelims and went right to the penultimate moment. Mama’ Daily Fluff from yesterday, “Often fear is an indicator that you are on to something good, something really valuable.” So, when I find myself in deer-in-the-headlights fear around something that means a lot to me, I do what I lovingly refer to as “jump off a cliff.” I walk over to the cliff and jump off into the abyss, free-falling – straight and feet-first into my desire. Never, not once have I ever crash landed. I have always landed softly, safely, and successfully; actually more successfully than I could have ever thought in my craziest imaginings. That’s because I now know when I – or you, or anyone – “jumps off a cliff,” we are jumping into our True Self to fulfill our life’s purpose. And, my beauty, at that you cannot fail. Such words do not exist for the Great Pussy in the Sky / God / Source / The Universe / Etc.

    Trust in your magnificence. The GPS does. Trust in your Truth. The GPS does. Trust in your success. The GPS does. Believe in miracles. The GPS does. Could you believe, maybe, in the possibility that no matter how things seem right now that everything is working out for you? The GPS does.

    One of my favorite Womanly Arts is re-framing. When you can up your connection to the Divine* (I find the breathing thing helps a lot), just sit and let the GPS speak to you…. What else could be happening? How else could this turn out? What else might be true? What are you missing? What would be happening if you could have anything happen you wanted to have happen?

    My all-time favorite Womanly Art is gratitude / appreciation. As Mama says, “Unrecognized good turns to crap.” Love everything and everything will love you back.

    With much love and appreciation,
    Sister Goddess Hedonia
    MWA, Spring2009

    *You are always connected; sometimes it’s a bit dim, maybe so dim you don’t see it.

    • SG Judi October 17, 2012, 9:37 pm

      Dear SG Hedonia;
      “A-h-h-h-h… that’s only because you are not familiar with what huge, momentous, crazy, all-out, freakin’ amazing success feels like! ”
      Thank you for this wisdom! I had the thought the other day that my pussy truth won me a freakin all out unbelievable opportunity… And it can do it again.
      Thank you for your love and support here.
      Sincerely,
      SG Judi

  • Ophelia October 16, 2012, 9:27 am

    Wow, look at all these brave Goddesses!! Every one of you is truly an inspiration, and thank you four sharing things that are not so easy to share 🙂 My problem is slightly different – my romantic desires are, for the moment, being fulfilled quite nicely. However my other truest and deepest desire is to be an artist – I have created art my entire life, I got the degree, etc. – every single morning when I wake up, all I want to do is spend the entire day creating. My goal is to support myself financially solely through my art. However, I have never sold one single piece, because every single day I have to fight tooth and nail against the universe in order to make time to actually do the work. I don’t have a day job, I rent the extra rooms in my house for income, but somehow I still never have time to do the only thing I want to do. EVERY SINGLE DAY, that door gets slammed in my face, because other things arise that I have to take care of, and as soon as I get one thing finished, something else follows right behind it, and all my days get sucked away. Lately I really feel like giving up that dream all together, even though without it I feel totally lost because I don’t know what else to do with myself because its who I am, and I feel its what I was meant to do, but if its what I was born to do, then why does the universe constantly prevent me from achieving it?? So frustrated and sad over this…..:(

    • Jill October 16, 2012, 11:09 am

      Mama G, thank you this beautiful post, just when I really needed to hear this message. This is livin’, amen. It’s hard to be on the edge of my comfort zone all the time, but all you goddesses remind me, this is the only way to really LIVE. thank you.
      and SG Ophelia, my fellow art sister, PLEASE do not give up! the world needs your unique vision and your gift. Just reading your post made me want to see your Art. sending you juice to use all the tools to break through!!! i am standing with you and for you…XOXO

    • Casey October 16, 2012, 3:24 pm

      Oooo I’m loving the wisdom here and the support and the juice of it all! Yes – we may crash and fall but we are going for it and not cowering in corners but steppin’ out into the room with our brave, bold selves.

      Opehlia, dear artist soul, I recommend a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and I recommend that you do it with a buddy or two. If you live near Boston, you can be my student in this work. Otherwise, just buy the book and put the word out that you want some companionship for that journey, the way SGs companion each other. It will show you how you are, in fact, the master of your time and energy but you may be misspending it. Take back your time, even in 15 minute chunks, but take it back to do what you love – it’s YOUR life and no desire is planted that the Great Creatress can’t help us achieve. Okay, stepping off soap box now because I know you probably know this…
      With love and respect,
      Casey

  • SG RedChilli October 16, 2012, 9:22 am

    Dear SG Judi,

    here is the big shout out! The standing ovation, the at least two hour firework on your behalf! lady you have the guts to reach for your dream! Thank you because I struggle with the first steps. To know that out there are other dream weaver makes it easier to make the plunge for me.
    Thank you so much.

    Oh and Mama thank you so much for this blog it lights me up! See you in Miami!

    • regena October 16, 2012, 11:49 am

      miami!!!! less than a month away!!!!

    • SG Judi October 17, 2012, 9:16 pm

      You are so sweet. Thank you. I am grinning ear to ear reading your platitudes.

  • fiona October 16, 2012, 9:18 am

    I am writing early morning – fingers still numb from a groggy sleep induced by drugs that help keep the anxiety at bay so that when I have my 3am night sweats (and another at 5am just for sh#ts & giggles) I don’t want to pack it all up and stop going for my desire to create a spectacular new work life. I have tons of money invested in my new venture and have hit the wall once already and am now re-framing the company. It is why I have re-framed the company to include other super-achieving ‘alpha’ women and play in a larger sandbox. Mama, you inspired me years ago and now I DESIRE to create something that is bigger than my fears and my past! There are going to be lots of opportunities to crash and burn and then fly again – today I choose to fly!

    • regena October 16, 2012, 11:48 am

      yeah, sister!!!

  • Madeline October 16, 2012, 8:51 am

    Just this past week I set a high flying goal that simply did not pan out in the planning stages..am back to square one , and my passions are flagging.. these stores and esp. Mama’s savvy advice have lifted my spirits this morning– will work on listening to my pussy heart better…..

  • Kathleen October 16, 2012, 8:46 am

    Oh boy have I gained enormous strength. Thank you all.

  • Jessica October 16, 2012, 8:32 am

    This is the best post for me today. I take risks and some of them have really dropped me down hard on my ass. I went to live in China with the man of my heart, to study and teach and learn. I was there two years, the relationship lasted three months. Heartbroken I came home. Rebuilt then was offered a job — in this economy that could at least sustain my life. But to take it I had to live another man who said he loved me and a job that was easy but paid slave wages. I move to the mountains for the new job and haven’t felt at home or happy one day. The job has morphed continously and now I’m doing things that are foreign to me and I feel dull, and dumb and old. Everyone is younger, quicker and more savvy. I feel the pull to go home, back to the nothing job and the man who says he loves me. I got a thing for him too. He’s 13 years younger than me [I’m 55]. I’m at a time when I’m no longer as thrilled to fly so high because the crashes can be so devasting. My pussy heart always knows what to do though, so I keep following. There’s no doubt I live my own destiny, and get the ridicule and loneliness when I fail. I suffer sometimes from self-doubt and self-hatred, but I’m learning to love my mistakes and failures as well. At least I am out there and not cowering in the corner. Love to you all and maybe someday I will get to meet you. Thanks for your good work, your dreams and your faith.

    • regena October 16, 2012, 11:48 am

      jessica-
      getting dropped hard on your ass is the beginning of the adventure of your life- i believe in your most deeply held dreams and desires…

    • Tiiu October 17, 2012, 6:26 am

      Dearest Jessica,

      Holding you out there, sweetheart! Sometimes it is tough, but trust me – a lot of those “younger”, “smarter” and whatnots desire to be “older”, “calmer”, “more free” and whatnot. Knowing your womanly power, the force that lays inside you makes you amazingly strong. Your inner wisdom knows what needs to be done, and when and how. “When the time is right love will find you like a rocket missile”. So will work.

      So hold on, dear sister, worship your pussy, love your body, pamper yourself with everything – sleep, good skincare, fresh air, good company – whatever works for you. And a solution will appear as if by magic.

    • SG Judi October 17, 2012, 9:41 pm

      Jessica;
      Sometimes when we fall hard on our ass we simply have to dust off that sexy behind of ours with a gentle pat and get back on the saddle 🙂

  • BSG Glitzy Cougar Karen October 16, 2012, 8:16 am

    After a year in SWA (Mastery and Inner Circle), and after not dating anyone for over 10 years, I met a man, 10 years younger, who was totally taken by me (and I him). We had a hot, sensuous romance. He texted every day, he insisted I call him every night so he could hear my luscious voice before sleep, he asked that all my weekends be held for him, since my weeks had been so busy. He said I had lifted him from his grief-stricken doldrums. I was like a fantasy…the most amazing woman he had met in his 26 years in NYC. He talked about a wonderful summer romance. For the first time in my life I felt true DESIRE from a man. It was amazing and delicious!

    Then without warning, the texting stopped. He would call, like every 5 days. He started flirting again with the friend that introduced us.

    I was devastated. I had worked the tools, done some outrageously courageous exercises given to me by Regena to open myself up and prepare for this (they did, beautifully).

    It took me months to get over it…but NOT years (like my former marriage). Why? Because I worked those tools like a mother $#!!$@#! I called my sisters. I spring cleaned every day. I did dance breaks and took every invite to every fun event my sisters invited me to. I had open, transparent conversations with our mutual friend and strengthened our friendship through it.

    And I recognized that he was a lovely, but wounded piece of my history that had come back to be healed. His purpose? In one month, he healed something in me that had been broken for 25 years in my marriage. But he was in no position to handle a new relationship and neither was I. And long-term, it would NOT have been a good thing.
    My purpose in all this was to learn to not lose myself in a man, and to stand for myself, and I did it beautifully.

    Since that, my life has grown and expanded far beyond…using the tools, stepping more into pleasure (and finding a few yummy pleasure partners along the way).

    It’s all good, sister. Keep workin’ it. The way around is through, and you’re doing it.

    xo
    Glitzy Cougar Karen (and that name has been given me by my admiring sisters:)!!!

    • Jamie October 16, 2012, 10:09 am

      Wow you said it all sister! Especially liked the beautiful composition of this sentence…A wounded piece of my history that had come back to be healed. I would add that some breakups are not for makeups, but for wake ups. Love, Light and Lipstick…
      SG Beautiful1

      • Ann Marie October 16, 2012, 11:30 am

        Thanks for this GCK.

        There is an ex who is trying to draw me back in. I gave him everything I had, but in the end he was too wounded to give me everything in return.

        Our break-up devastated me for 7 months. Now we have been in touch, have had lunch a few times. He always has been a friend to me. And while I am atill attracted to many of his qualities (strength, smarts, sensuality, tenderness, kindness), my pussy is, surprisingly to me, so NOT into him.

        While tempted to go back to something I know was good, I also know that I can’t go back to something that is second best for me. I’d rather remember the good times we had and leave it at that.

        • Hil October 16, 2012, 5:14 pm

          My husband asked me for a divorce, then a few days later took it back. So the decision was then put on me – and I went for it. Leaving him was the best wake-up I ever had. I am free to follow my bliss, find myself —- and find a mate who wants me to find my bliss and myself!

    • Ellen Levin or SG WARRIOR October 17, 2012, 9:06 pm

      Just love your handling of what you experienced! Reframing it, realizing that it healed something inside of you and that you learned to stand for yourself (and not give yourself away to anyone!)
      Bravo!
      Inspiring!

    • Renee October 17, 2012, 10:22 pm

      Beautifully said and thank you from the bottom of my heart! This is exactly what I needed to read to reaffirm what I already knew. All is perfect. xoxo

  • Kate October 16, 2012, 7:20 am

    So much gold in this post!!! Awesome! Thank you!

  • Lola October 16, 2012, 6:47 am

    Hi Mama G. I awoke this morning tormented and full of anxiety because of a recent break-up. Someyhing that was the beginnings of earth shaking turned to well you know after 3 months. He lied… I broke it off but feel like Sh_t. This is a man who liked me for 5 years..
    But I went for it-fully, freely and openly! But it seems when I do these hurt the most..
    Your A to her Q helped me reframe my situation. Thank you for standing for us..

    XOXOXO,

    Lola

  • Line October 16, 2012, 6:28 am

    I was just feeling that, – so well framed Kirsten, ‘A new reality for all’ is what we are creating, for our self again and again. And how generous is that, abundant and wild is that… Such good post Mamaji, thank you <3.
    Sparkling crash's from Denmark and (he*% yea) we totally miss you here in DK, in fact when will you be back? xoxo

  • kirsten stendevad October 16, 2012, 6:13 am

    Mama, I love how your beautiful words create a new reality for all. THANK YOU. And thumbs up for the SG who throws herself fully into life!!! Love, Light & Lipstick from Copenhagen – we miss you here!

    • regena October 16, 2012, 11:37 am

      miss you right back, sister!!